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chestnutt

Been here for 5 years and I don't know if I made the right choice.

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11 hours ago, JC&BS said:

What about a vacation back home for a little while?

We are going back for 2 weeks in May, I am so looking forward to it and it will be so wonderful but I know coming back here is unfortunately going to be pretty hard. 

8 hours ago, carmel34 said:

OP, do you have your US citizenship yet?  If not, apply and get it, and then in your long heart-to-heart talks with your husband, bring up the future, and float the idea of moving to Australia to live for a few years, after you get your US citizenship.  If he really loves you and wants you to be happy, he should be willing to compromise.  That is what makes a marriage strong--give and take.  Sacrifice on both sides.  And if he's not willing to compromise that much, enough to move to Australia for a few years, it may put things into perspective for him and he might at least be willing to move closer to your job, to a larger city in the US where you would be happier, and it isn't asking too much really.

Nope I don't have it yet. I know it is basically completely out of the question for us to move to Australia (his job is a big reason, he actually isn't even allowed to live out of the state). I am pretty sure that I do not want to become a US citizen, I am quite happy filing my paperwork every 10 years. 

7 hours ago, millefleur said:

I can totally relate to this...I'm the USC and my husband is from a big, world class city (pop. 6+ million)...now we live in a city that has about pop. 2 million and my husband is extremely frustrated with not having the same options he had in a large city: lack of reliable public transit, the fact that driving was always a choice and not a obligation, lack of cultural events and places...not to mention leaving behind his wonderful family. I actually used to live abroad with him in his home city and we both loved it here but had to leave for opportunity reasons due to my husband's circumstances (Russia has issues right now, heh.) Thankfully, we are considering moving on from here to a bigger city once we finish up our own business in this town, but we're still stuck here for 1+ more year...then we're looking into more international big cities here in the US.

 

It sounds like the main reason your husband wants to stay is to be near his family. That is understandable but on the other hand, you are his family too and your happiness matters. Plus, you left your family and home country behind...that's a big sacrifice. I hope your husband can see if from your perspective and you can both work through it. Everyone else has given great advice so far...you're definitely not alone in feeling homesick or culture shock, it's extremely common with international couples...especially if it is a move from a big international city to a mid-sized or small American town. Hugs!

I guess my situation is a little extreme haha, I went from a city of 2.5 million in Australia to the current town I'm in with 3000 people...

6 hours ago, Izor said:

I moved from Stockholm to a tiny town in Northern California, and i struggled a lot in the beginning. BUT i have embraced it and i am loving it more now, in fact i could never live in a city again haha. Biggest help was honestly the climate, Northern California has the beaches, mountains, cities and sun. Sure i drive 50 minutes one way to work but i like the drive, it is all country highways. It really sounds like you need to come to the west coast, it is not as expensive as people say, especially in the outskirts. Take him on a vacation to CA and drive around, maybe he will change his mind when he sees how much beauty is out there :P

Oh yes, I can't help but wish that he was from the west coast (much easier flight path to go back to Australia to visit also!)

17 minutes ago, Sarah&Facundo said:

I am the USC but I will weigh in also. My husband is miserable and hates the US. We went home for a month for Christmas to give him a break and since we have come back, it has just gotten worse. We had our AOS interview a few weeks ago and when the officer asked "Did you only marry your wife for a green card?" as a part of those list of questions they ask, he later told me it took everything in him not to see "HELL no!." He really is only here because of me. It's so hard watching your spouse make so many sacrifices and be so miserable. We came to an agreement. He is in college now and I said lets wait out until he finishes school. He should also wait until he gets citizenship so we can come back and forth as we please without worrying about refiling again. Maybe he could even work remotely as an American with a US passport while living in his country.

 

From the other side of things as the USC, it is so hard too. I feel vey guilty and very worried that he will someday resent me (although he promises me he does not at all and he made this choice). Perhaps your husband is avoiding confronting this because he does not want to face the guilt? Or maybe he does not truly understand the length at which this is bothering you and you need to be brutally honest? As someone mentioned in a post above, life is WAY too short to be so miserable. Five years is quite a while, so he really needs to hear you out on this. I wish you the best of luck! 

Yes we are going back to Australia for a visit for 2 weeks in May, I fear this will make it worse for a little while after I get back. 

7 minutes ago, LizM said:

I think it's of the essence here that you communicate ALL of your thoughts to him. If you have already made the compromise in your head when you approach him - "maybe not move back to Australia, or a large US city, but at least move closer to my job - that's what I'll tell him" - then that's not going to sound much like a compromise to him because he doesn't know the sacrifice you've already made silently. 

 

Trust me, I and a lot of others here know the ups and downs of moving countries for your loved one. Just because the down comes five years in doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken seriously. In his head you gave up your old life five years ago. In your head maybe it hasn't really felt like a sacrifice until now. So make sure he understands what has changed for you. Talk about Australia. I can imagine you're contemplating the upbringing you had that your daughter will never have. Talk about that and the fact that you've been away from your family and friends for five years now. Tell him how and why you're no longer comfortable where you are. What would your dream life look like? Tell him. This is NOT complaining. This is you communicating what you want, and just because you're the one that wants change doesn't mean you're the bad guy.

 

I wish you good luck and I'm grateful that you chose to write about this. I'm still adjusting status and I'm doing well, but I have always had this hunch that if/when kids come into the picture, that things might change. 

You have hit on so many points here it's like you're inside my head! Good point about explaining my thought process to him, I'd never thought about it like that. 

Yes the upbringing that my daughter will experience living here is always on my mind. I don't believe it is a good place to raise a child, and I constantly feel guilty that she is already bored and not being exposed to enough new things and new experiences simply because they aren't available. 

I fear that he does hear most of it as complaining, he starts out sympathetic when I try to talk to him and then seems to tire of the conversation and I would imagine he thinks I am just complaining.

I can tell you from my experience that yes, have kids did change things for me. That may not necessarily be the case for you though, and I hope it's not xx

 

To everyone that commented thank you so much, this has been very helpful and it's good to know I am not alone in this weird type of life we have all chosen.

 

XX

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I'm so sorry you're feeling this way :( I'm the USC but moved us over here from an amazing city and we had similar issues, but without the added complications and stress of a child. 

 

We live in a neighboring state to you so I definitely know what you mean with regards to environment and weather- my husband actually develops SADS here and eventually got treatment for that, which helped a lot.  However, it became obvious to me that things weren't working where we lived so while the last thing I wanted to do was go back to sharing walls and not having space...we packed up and moved into the 'city' near us.  (<1 million people..so not really a city haha) The change it brought in my husband was almost instant- sure, there aren't 100 restaurants nearby, but there are ones we can walk to. Just having the option of easy access to a wider variety of activities, like you're suggesting you'd like, made a world of difference.  I could feel resentment starting to creep into our marriage before we relocated to our current home and now it's completely gone. You're definitely correct when saying that moving to the 30 minute drive down the road in another town can make a world of difference!

 

Having said that...it's very brave to post what you did here .  Do you think you could print it and show your husband? Your post is so well spoken and even keeled- I know you're emotional but nothing about the post comes off that way.  It really just broke my heart and I would imagine it could open the eyes of your husband. I know you said his practicality kills the topic when you bring it up but as someone who is always told I kill things with logic... he seems blind to the severity of the problem. You've given a lot to the relationship and he should be willing to move a few miles down the road for the sake of your well being. 

 

The ONLY thing I can see being a practical argument is the school district; they're so funny up here that you may currently be in an amazing one and be suggesting to move to a subpar one.  However, that isn't even an issue for you guys for years and those few years could be what you need to get back into a healthy state of being. 

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Well most of Pa is small apart from Pittsburgh and Philidelphia. Any rate you need to make the best of the situation and hopefully you can reach a compromise.

 

If you are outdoorsy sort - plenty of things to do and expose the little one too. Once the lil one gets older def loads of ski resorts close by. 

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Maybe it would help if you could write it down, like you have here, for him to read. I find it easier to write sometimes, especially if it's an emotional topic for me. 

 

In the short term, make sure you get your own needs met however small and insignificant it may seem. As a mother I'm terrible at doing this. I started this year journaling and have multiple trackers to make sure I do things for me, and I still fail at times. Make time for yourself to do something to replenish yourself. 

 

I'm in the Mid West and I never want to feel the way I've felt this winter again. My husband has suggested getting a light box for me because the change in lifestyle has been so bad for my health and well being. 

 

When demands are constantly made on me I get to feeling even more resentment. If you're an accommodating type of person it can be difficult to even speak up, and if you feel you're not being taken seriously or understood when you do then it's discouraging and frustrating.  Find a way for your husband to hear what you have to say. It's important and your feelings matter. 

 

Also, give yourself a pat on the back for what you have been doing since emigrating. It's a massive achievement. You need a break from feeling emotionally roadblocked. I hope you find a way forward. 

 

 

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I am actually in almost the same boat (with the exception of the child) - I lived in Melbourne for years and LOVED it.  Now we live in a town of less than 8,000 people in Wisconsin. There are some nice homes, but many of them are run down, no one seems to take any pride in upkeep and maintenance (if I want to walk anywhere I have to do it on the road because despite there not even being that much snow, very few people bother scooping and salting the sidewalk in front of their houses).  It's MARCH and the majority of homes around us have still got their christmas light up because apparently the effort of taking them down is far too high. 

I love my husband. I really like his family. But I miss Australia, I miss the variety and quality of food (Wisconsin has many nice things, but good quality foods from various cultures is not one of them), and I miss being able to go outside without wearing 5 layers in order to not die.  

Oh, and I miss Medicare.  SO MUCH.  I'm sick to death of working out if I have just enough of my medications until a friend or family member comes to the US next to get through, or working out if I can get a years' worth of birth control and asthma medication next time I go home to visit - a years' worth of each costs less than a single MONTH here in the US. 

So I totally get it.   I'm hoping that when winter FINALLY dies and I can get out more and hopefully make some new friends around town that I'll feel less like I made a huge mistake by moving here.  It's just such a crappy situation - my husband has made it clear that living here is the one thing he WON'T compromise on (he's willing to compromise on everything else - our home & how it's decorated, having a cat - he hates cats - letting me chose the puppy we get AND give it a punny name, where and how we spend vacations, what we eat and basically everything else - just not where we live) so I either have to put up & shut up or divorce him and move home - which isn't an option for me.    I miss my friends and family.

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14 hours ago, chestnutt said:

Hi all,

 

This is a little wordy, guess I'm just looking to vent a little to people that will understand what I am going through, because no one else really understands as hard as they may try.

 

I've been living in the US for almost 5 years. I love my husband, he is a great person, we have a 10 month old daughter together who is just perfect. The past few months I have really started to question my choice in moving here.  Leaving my family and friends and whole entire life weighs heavily on my mind now more than it ever has.

 

His family is fantastic, his sister and mother and I are close, I have a job that I like (well, as much as you can like something you have to go and do everyday!).

 

A big issue for me is that I 100% do not like where we live. I came from a big city in Australia that I just loved. Here we are living in a small town, that is run down, very few people that live here take pride in their houses so most places look like dumps, the people are questionable, there is not much to do, the weather is absolutely awful from November to April which drags me down a lot.

 

Lately I have tried to talk to him about this, he is just so practical that it gets in the way. I drive 40 mins one way to work each day, I tried to ask him about possibly moving closer to my work which is much closer to a larger town with so much more to do. He doesn't even want to move out of this school district (his family is so close to here so I understand, but really I think it would be okay to live within 30 mins of them!).

 

I guess after having the baby it has started to just make me feel like I am completely trapped in a place I do not like, with basically no options. I also feel like I compromised my whole entire life to move here for him, and he has had to compromise absolutely nothing, and does not seem willing to compromise on anything in the future.

 

I am trying to come to terms with the fact that I regret moving here.

 

Anyone else on here in the same boat?

It seems he is not hearing you... or picking up on how you are truly feeling. You have to have an honest talk with him, before it's too late. 

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36 minutes ago, dentsflogged said:

It's MARCH and the majority of homes around us have still got their christmas light up because apparently the effort of taking them down is far too high. 

Same here!🤣🤣

Could we all just have a good old b**** about America to cheer ourselves up?

Edited by fip & jim
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The reliable public transit thing is a big deal. It just isn't safe here in St. Louis. Plus the routes are limited. In almost every other country...even the poorer ones they have cheap and extensive transit...even if it is a jeepney)))

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2 hours ago, SeabreezeUF said:

 We live in a neighboring state to you so I definitely know what you mean with regards to environment and weather- my husband actually develops SADS here and eventually got treatment for that, which helped a lot.  However, it became obvious to me that things weren't working where we lived so while the last thing I wanted to do was go back to sharing walls and not having space...we packed up and moved into the 'city' near us.  (<1 million people..so not really a city haha) The change it brought in my husband was almost instant- sure, there aren't 100 restaurants nearby, but there are ones we can walk to. Just having the option of easy access to a wider variety of activities, like you're suggesting you'd like, made a world of difference.  I could feel resentment starting to creep into our marriage before we relocated to our current home and now it's completely gone. You're definitely correct when saying that moving to the 30 minute drive down the road in another town can make a world of difference!

 

Having said that...it's very brave to post what you did here .  Do you think you could print it and show your husband? Your post is so well spoken and even keeled- I know you're emotional but nothing about the post comes off that way.  It really just broke my heart and I would imagine it could open the eyes of your husband. I know you said his practicality kills the topic when you bring it up but as someone who is always told I kill things with logic... he seems blind to the severity of the problem. You've given a lot to the relationship and he should be willing to move a few miles down the road for the sake of your well being. 

 

The ONLY thing I can see being a practical argument is the school district; they're so funny up here that you may currently be in an amazing one and be suggesting to move to a subpar one.  However, that isn't even an issue for you guys for years and those few years could be what you need to get back into a healthy state of being. 

Ugh I think I may be suffering from that a touch, I do think I should maybe try to seek some help.

That's exactly what I want, options! Hearing you say how much of a difference it made to your husband is quite encouraging, thank you.

Thank you for saying this was a brave thing to do, I've been thinking about reaching out for a while. 

His big issue with moving school districts is that our daughter won't be going to school with her cousin (my husbands sisters daughter, who is 3 weeks older than her). In my mind I guess it's not that big of an issue, we would mostly likely still see them on a weekly basis which seems to me more than enough contact to establish a good relationship. 

 

1 hour ago, fip & jim said:

Maybe it would help if you could write it down, like you have here, for him to read. I find it easier to write sometimes, especially if it's an emotional topic for me. 

 

In the short term, make sure you get your own needs met however small and insignificant it may seem. As a mother I'm terrible at doing this. I started this year journaling and have multiple trackers to make sure I do things for me, and I still fail at times. Make time for yourself to do something to replenish yourself. 

 

I'm in the Mid West and I never want to feel the way I've felt this winter again. My husband has suggested getting a light box for me because the change in lifestyle has been so bad for my health and well being. 

 

When demands are constantly made on me I get to feeling even more resentment. If you're an accommodating type of person it can be difficult to even speak up, and if you feel you're not being taken seriously or understood when you do then it's discouraging and frustrating.  Find a way for your husband to hear what you have to say. It's important and your feelings matter. 

 

Also, give yourself a pat on the back for what you have been doing since emigrating. It's a massive achievement. You need a break from feeling emotionally roadblocked. I hope you find a way forward. 

 

 

I'm sorry you've been having a tough time this winter, it is such an awful feeling. The summers are great but the inevitability of the next winter always leaves a little darkness hovering there. 

It is hard not to feel guilty when taking a little time for myself, I have to keep reminding myself that my whole identity is not made up being a mother and that it is okay for me to want to do things other than hang out with her. 

1 hour ago, dentsflogged said:

I am actually in almost the same boat (with the exception of the child) - I lived in Melbourne for years and LOVED it.  Now we live in a town of less than 8,000 people in Wisconsin. There are some nice homes, but many of them are run down, no one seems to take any pride in upkeep and maintenance (if I want to walk anywhere I have to do it on the road because despite there not even being that much snow, very few people bother scooping and salting the sidewalk in front of their houses).  It's MARCH and the majority of homes around us have still got their christmas light up because apparently the effort of taking them down is far too high. 

I love my husband. I really like his family. But I miss Australia, I miss the variety and quality of food (Wisconsin has many nice things, but good quality foods from various cultures is not one of them), and I miss being able to go outside without wearing 5 layers in order to not die.  

Oh, and I miss Medicare.  SO MUCH.  I'm sick to death of working out if I have just enough of my medications until a friend or family member comes to the US next to get through, or working out if I can get a years' worth of birth control and asthma medication next time I go home to visit - a years' worth of each costs less than a single MONTH here in the US. 

So I totally get it.   I'm hoping that when winter FINALLY dies and I can get out more and hopefully make some new friends around town that I'll feel less like I made a huge mistake by moving here.  It's just such a crappy situation - my husband has made it clear that living here is the one thing he WON'T compromise on (he's willing to compromise on everything else - our home & how it's decorated, having a cat - he hates cats - letting me chose the puppy we get AND give it a punny name, where and how we spend vacations, what we eat and basically everything else - just not where we live) so I either have to put up & shut up or divorce him and move home - which isn't an option for me.    I miss my friends and family.

dentsflogged it sounds like our husbands would get along quite well 🙄 Everything you're saying about your town is basically what I deal with too, it's quite discouraging to go on a nice walk and just stroll by people's yards that have baby gear strewed around that you know hasn't been used in at least 5 years. We usually road walk too, not only because of the snow but in our town in some places the sidewalk just simply isn't there or is far too rough to push a stroller along. 

I second missing the variety and quality of food, the culture, the activity, the vibe, the different landscapes, Australia really is a wonderful country (Brisbane girl here). 

Missing family and friends -- so so much. 

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1 hour ago, dentsflogged said:

I am actually in almost the same boat (with the exception of the child) - I lived in Melbourne for years and LOVED it.  Now we live in a town of less than 8,000 people in Wisconsin. There are some nice homes, but many of them are run down, no one seems to take any pride in upkeep and maintenance (if I want to walk anywhere I have to do it on the road because despite there not even being that much snow, very few people bother scooping and salting the sidewalk in front of their houses).  It's MARCH and the majority of homes around us have still got their christmas light up because apparently the effort of taking them down is far too high. 

I love my husband. I really like his family. But I miss Australia, I miss the variety and quality of food (Wisconsin has many nice things, but good quality foods from various cultures is not one of them), and I miss being able to go outside without wearing 5 layers in order to not die.  

Oh, and I miss Medicare.  SO MUCH.  I'm sick to death of working out if I have just enough of my medications until a friend or family member comes to the US next to get through, or working out if I can get a years' worth of birth control and asthma medication next time I go home to visit - a years' worth of each costs less than a single MONTH here in the US. 

So I totally get it.   I'm hoping that when winter FINALLY dies and I can get out more and hopefully make some new friends around town that I'll feel less like I made a huge mistake by moving here.  It's just such a crappy situation - my husband has made it clear that living here is the one thing he WON'T compromise on (he's willing to compromise on everything else - our home & how it's decorated, having a cat - he hates cats - letting me chose the puppy we get AND give it a punny name, where and how we spend vacations, what we eat and basically everything else - just not where we live) so I either have to put up & shut up or divorce him and move home - which isn't an option for me.    I miss my friends and family.

 

Can't you move to Madison or Milwaukee? Chicago would be even better.  You moved to the US, can't he move within the same state?? I would be absolutely heartbroken if I knew my wife posted this message.

 

My wife sacrificed so much to come to the US from China. The difference is that we live in a reasonably large metro area (Minneapolis/St Paul). When we were looking to buy our first home, I wanted to live in a single family home in a quiet suburb, she wanted to be in a condo close to "the action". So rather than buy a single family home with a yard, we bought a small townhouse in a nice suburb that's right on a bus line that goes to the heart of downtown. There is a huge park/lake across the street from us that she can wander around in with the baby during the day, she can walk to Starbucks, the supermarket and several other stores, etc.

 

I don't love living in a townhouse, but she likes it and I can live with it. And FWIW we are an 8-hour drive away from my family in Chicago, and a 24 hour flight away from hers. As sick as this sounds I actually think it has a benefit in that "we're in it together" alone, and we both can't easily lean on our families, see them freely etc. - I guess a "misery loves company" type of thing.

Edited by FluffyBalls
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Aside from everybody mentioning talking to your husband, you did have a baby 10 months ago and said you've been feeling this way for a few months. You might want to see a professional about possible PPD. It's normal to feel the homesickness especially with such a big family change but if you can't shake it please also consider professional help. 

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