Hi, I'm a single mother of 1 yo son. I need some advice about EB3.

[Ayliee K 0]

2 hours ago, SusieQQQ said:

While I have a huge amount of sympathy for the very horrible situation you found yourself in, and totally understand your response, this sentence above as it is implies you might have broken the law and that alone may be a problem for you returning to the US. Did you have any contact with your ex after you left? Do you have any way of knowing whether he just accepted the situation, or whether he might have reported you to the authorities for kidnap of the child? 

 

By the way, did you formally divorce your husband?

Thanks for your kindness! 

 

I was never married. It is kinda a long story tho. When I was in the 2nd trimester, he told me that he is a married man. My ex and his wife have been separated since 2016 but never officially divorced. He insisted he will get divorced as soon as he gets his green card as a spouse of his wife(his wife got her green card from asylum). He did not want to put his name on baby's birth certificate because he thinks it might affect his divorce. There is a blank on father's name on baby's birth certificate so I was able to make a passport of my son.

 

[Ayliee K 0]

1 hour ago, geowrian said:

It's a very rough situation. I hope it works out for you.

 

A few notes:

• You cannot enter on an F-1 with intent to stay. People already in the US on F-1 status who had a change in circumstances may qualify to stay in the US, but that's not your circumstances.
• Having a USC child, USC spouse/former spouse, and past VAWA application are very negative factors for any visa that does not permit immigrant intent (like an F-1). Your chances of obtaining one are extremely low.
• If you don't the funds to resume the existing program you started, you likely don't have the funds for another unive3rsity either. While I'm sure there are cheaper options than $40k/year, you would be lucky to find something significantly cheaper than that for an international student.
• Best bet would be to finish your education outside the US, then try to find a US-based employer to petition you for a work visa. Not easy or fast...but it is the best option if you want to live in the US IMO.
• Option 2 is when South Korea becomes eligible for the Diversity Visa lottery, start applying. I see you aren't eligible for 2019, but this changes annually.
• Edit: And yes, if you left the US with your child and without permission from the father, this can complicate matters further. I do believe there are exceptions in cases of abuse, but having to challenge any such claim of trafficking or kidnapping is not a good position to be in.

Thanks for kind notes! 

 

I guess finishing my education in South Korea would be the best option to go to the US. I think it will take a while tho. And there is no father's name on my son's birth certificate. So... I don't think my ex will report it as a kidnapping. Thanks once again. I really appreciate it!

[USS_Voyager 1,971]

6 minutes ago, Ayliee K said:

Thanks for your kindness! 

 

I was never married. It is kinda a long story tho. When I was in the 2nd trimester, he told me that he is a married man. My ex and his wife have been separated since 2016 but never officially divorced. He insisted he will get divorced as soon as he gets his green card as a spouse of his wife(his wife got her green card from asylum). He did not want to put his name on baby's birth certificate because he thinks it might affect his divorce. There is a blank on father's name on baby's birth certificate so I was able to make a passport of my son.

 

Ah, so the whole custodial interference/parental abduction is gone away. As far as the government is concerned, the father of the baby is unknown. The burden is on the father now to prove paternity.

 

The only advice I have about getting to the US is might be the H1B visa. It is a dual-intent visa so they can't deny you because of the immigration intent issue. Of course the playing field on the H1B is flooded with the IT people, so it is very hard to get through the lottery. However, there are cap-exempt employers that are allow to sponsor an unlimited number of H1Bs without subjecting to the cap. I have no idea what your field is, but maybe it's an option.

 

 

[USS_Voyager 1,971]

Also, the L-1 visa is another dual intent visa. It is for international companies who have operations in both the US and another country.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

16 minutes ago, Ayliee K said:

Thanks for your kindness! 

 

I was never married. It is kinda a long story tho. When I was in the 2nd trimester, he told me that he is a married man. My ex and his wife have been separated since 2016 but never officially divorced. He insisted he will get divorced as soon as he gets his green card as a spouse of his wife(his wife got her green card from asylum). He did not want to put his name on baby's birth certificate because he thinks it might affect his divorce. There is a blank on father's name on baby's birth certificate so I was able to make a passport of my son.

 

Don’t you have to be or have been married to file VAWA? (Afaik it’s for spouses or expsouses, or parents or children? Not just partners?) That plus the wording of your first post made me think you'd married him.

 

Anyway, the stuff above at least should clear from you concern about taking your son out, but unfortunately doesn’t help on any of the other aspects.

[Ayliee K 0]

1 hour ago, carmel34 said:

Big concerns that any IO CO or CBP officer will have if you apply to return to the US:

 

1. relationship with an illegal alcoholic abusive immigrant in the US, with intent to get a green card

2. had a baby with him, married or not, looks like an anchor baby intent

3. left the US with baby, if no permission from father, there could be kidnap charges against you in the US

4. visa shopping for a way back to the US

 

Your best bet is to make the best life possible in Korea for you and your son.  And hire a good attorney to make sure you and your son are protected from the kidnapping issue so that it doesn't cause problems for you in the future.  If you are a good student, get the best grades possible in Korea, finish your undergraduate university degree there, and then apply for graduate school in another country like Canada or the UK, a PhD would be a good one, in a technical or business field, then after graduation, apply for faculty jobs in the US as most universities will help you with the visas required.  Good luck.

Thanks for your reply!

 

Wow I have not even thought about 1 would be a problem. Since I cannot get a support from my family, it is really difficult to raise my son, earn for living, and study at the same time. I saw some articles that many number of nurses are immigrating to the US. I think that would be the best option. Thank you! 

[Ayliee K 0]

2 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

Don’t you have to be or have been married to file VAWA? (Afaik it’s for spouses or expsouses, or parents or children? Not just partners?) That plus the wording of your first post made me think you'd married him.

 

Anyway, the stuff above at least should clear from you concern about taking your son out, but unfortunately doesn’t help on any of the other aspects.

The lawyer that I met tried to apply VAWA by claiming bigamy since they were never divorced. 

 

Thanks again!

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

2 minutes ago, Ayliee K said:

Thanks for your reply!

 

Wow I have not even thought about 1 would be a problem. Since I cannot get a support from my family, it is really difficult to raise my son, earn for living, and study at the same time. I saw some articles that many number of nurses are immigrating to the US. I think that would be the best option. Thank you! 

For nurses there is definitely an immigration path, usually via an agency that helps you do the US licensing exams and finds a job contract. But did you finish your nursing degree already? You need that completed first.

Just now, Ayliee K said:

The lawyer that I met tried to apply VAWA by claiming bigamy since they were never divorced. 

 

Thanks again!

You can’t have it both ways - to claim bigamy you would have had to married him but you said you didn’t. Sorry, but this bit isn’t adding up for me.

[Ayliee K 0]

11 minutes ago, USS_Voyager said:

Ah, so the whole custodial interference/parental abduction is gone away. As far as the government is concerned, the father of the baby is unknown. The burden is on the father now to prove paternity.

 

The only advice I have about getting to the US is might be the H1B visa. It is a dual-intent visa so they can't deny you because of the immigration intent issue. Of course the playing field on the H1B is flooded with the IT people, so it is very hard to get through the lottery. However, there are cap-exempt employers that are allow to sponsor an unlimited number of H1Bs without subjecting to the cap. I have no idea what your field is, but maybe it's an option.

 

 

Thanks a lot! 

I should start saving money for my education hehe

[Ayliee K 0]

1 hour ago, jan22 said:

To clarIfy one thing, unless there was a court order barring her from taking the child out of the US and/or granting joint custody, she did not kidnap her son.  In most states, it would be deemed, at most, custodial interference.  On a federal level, if the father pursued a case, it could be parental abduction, which generally is resolved within civil statutes, not criminal ones.

 

You have received good advice on both the F1 (seems highly unlikey from a financial standpoint, plus immigeant intent, plus violating your previous student status) and the EB3 (unlikey to find a sponsoring employer).  Hope you can find a way to re-establish yourself in South Korea to take care of yourself and your son.  Best of luck as you recover from this.

Thanks a lot! 

[CEE53147 559]

1 hour ago, carmel34 said:

Big concerns that any IO CO or CBP officer will have if you apply to return to the US:

 

1. relationship with an illegal alcoholic abusive immigrant in the US, with intent to get a green card

2. had a baby with him, married or not, looks like an anchor baby intent

3. left the US with baby, if no permission from father, there could be kidnap charges against you in the US

4. visa shopping for a way back to the US

 

Your best bet is to make the best life possible in Korea for you and your son.  And hire a good attorney to make sure you and your son are protected from the kidnapping issue so that it doesn't cause problems for you in the future.  If you are a good student, get the best grades possible in Korea, finish your undergraduate university degree there, and then apply for graduate school in another country like Canada or the UK, a PhD would be a good one, in a technical or business field, then after graduation, apply for faculty jobs in the US as most universities will help you with the visas required.  Good luck.

Do you have any clue how competitive faculty jobs are?  It is not unusual to have 150 to 200 applicants - both American and foreign - for a position.

[Ayliee K 0]

9 minutes ago, SusieQQQ said:

For nurses there is definitely an immigration path, usually via an agency that helps you do the US licensing exams and finds a job contract. But did you finish your nursing degree already? You need that completed first.

You can’t have it both ways - to claim bigamy you would have had to married him but you said you didn’t. Sorry, but this bit isn’t adding up for me.

Ohh the lawyer said I had to show that I could not get married since bigamy is illegal in NY. 
"you believed that you were legally married to your abusive U.S. citizen or permanent resident spouse but the marriage was not legitimate solely because of the bigamy of your abusive spouse"

 

I guess he might not be a good lawyer lol 

[carmel34 3,528]

2 hours ago, CEE53147 said:

Do you have any clue how competitive faculty jobs are?  It is not unusual to have 150 to 200 applicants - both American and foreign - for a position.

Yes, I am a university dean.  I am hiring 9 faculty right now, new PhDs.  So yes, I know about the large number of applicants.  I also know that there is a shortage of applicants in fields like technology and business.  Most of the faculty I am hiring are from abroad, finishing PhDs in the US, and we do all of their visa paperwork, pay the attorney's fees, etc.  It takes a lot of work, but it is a very doable path for someone who is really motivated, and the business and technology assistant professor positions pay well, 100K+.  Just a suggestion for OP.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

Maybe a suggestion for the OP, but considering she hasn’t even finished undergrad yet it is a very long term option. (Also she is talking nursing rather than tech and business, but of course if and when she eventually gets a PhD that could all have changed significantly, first things first though.)

[Boiler 43,393]

Can you do a PHD in Nursing?