I'm so unhappy

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

5 hours ago, paristousa said:

No, I'm not a nurse and I'm from France 

So I could possibly stay, despite the fact that we would be seperated? 

We should have gathered that from your username.

 

To retain as many options as possible, you should probably move on, getting a divorce as soon as possible. The sooner you divorce, the sooner he doesn't have any further claims on your money or future income. After that you can sort out the options of staying in the USA or moving back to France or some other country.

 

One final note... if you do divorce and stay, realize that not all American men are game playing leeches. Perhaps you'll find someone better.

[lilek.k 41]

I'm so sorry about your situation. Just imagine how much effort it took to get there. Just think through all options. I wish ypu to make a wise decision.

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

1 hour ago, usmsbow said:

 

Just curious: why would you want to stay? 

The OP's husband might just need a wake up call and a good shot of reality, nothing a good bucket of soapy water on a gaming system won't solve. @paristousa how old is your husband if you don't mind me asking?

[usmsbow 795]

4 minutes ago, Cyberfx1024 said:

The OP's husband might just need a wake up call and a good shot of reality, nothing a good bucket of soapy water on a gaming system won't solve. @paristousa how old is your husband if you don't mind me asking?

I agree, but she was asking about staying even if she separated from him, so that's why I was wondering what would else would motivate her to stay. 

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

2 minutes ago, usmsbow said:

I agree, but she was asking about staying even if she separated from him, so that's why I was wondering what would else would motivate her to stay. 

You are correct about that.. But that just might help fix a fair amount of the problems since she said her husband just plays games all day instead of doing anything else. 

[Love To Teach 161]

18 hours ago, paristousa said:

I moved here only a couple of months ago to live with my USC husband. So I am now a permanent resident/green card holder. 

I'm really unhappy here. I'm not homesick, i hate my home, but all I want is to go back home. I dont really want to get into the specifics of it because this is not a relationship guidance site, but my husband has not made me feel welcome at all. He leaves me in the house all day alone whilst he sleeps. He doesnt work. He games all night. Its just not what I envisioned my life to be. He obviously brought me here to support him financially. 

Can I ask you how he brought you here if he doesn't work?

[paristousa 1]

He is 35! 

He used his parents as a co-sponsor.

The only reason I would stay, is because I'm in the exact predicament here as I am if I go home. E.g have to find somewhere to live, can't drive, start from scratch again etc. 

But atleast home is more familiar, that's a huge reason to go back. I understand how things work more at home. 

Nope, I don't think he will change. I've already spoken to him multiple times and he just says sorry you're bored and goes back to what he's doing. He knows me well, I'm his wife, he knows I'll pack up and leave. I'm strong-willed.  

 

[usmsbow 795]

18 hours ago, TM92 said:

If you are dead set on this, then you will have to divorce sooner or later (in order to completely end it); I'll address it later in this post. You can leave and then officially abandon (Form I-407) your LPR status at the USCIS Rome office (they have jurisdiction for France): https://www.uscis.gov/about-us/find-uscis-office/international-offices/italy-uscis-rome-field-office Then you can do an international divorce. Another option is to seperate from your husband and relocate within the US. Then you can also divorce. After divorce is finalized, you can apply for Removal of Conditions (if applicable): https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/divorce-your-conditional-residence-status-how-file-divorce-waiver-with-form-i-751.html The other option is to reconcile/talk with your husband, as another user suggested.

 

Given all the info, I think this is best advice you're going to get on this thread. 

 

And yes, if a dude is a bum playing video games at 35 who had to have his parents co-sponsor you, I think the odds of him "changing" are pretty much zilch. If he had any ambition/motivation at all, he should write a book on how to win a woman over while being a bum. He apparently has that skill at least.

 

 

[coloradoman 32]

2 hours ago, paristousa said:

He is 35! 

He used his parents as a co-sponsor.

The only reason I would stay, is because I'm in the exact predicament here as I am if I go home. E.g have to find somewhere to live, can't drive, start from scratch again etc. 

But atleast home is more familiar, that's a huge reason to go back. I understand how things work more at home. 

Nope, I don't think he will change. I've already spoken to him multiple times and he just says sorry you're bored and goes back to what he's doing. He knows me well, I'm his wife, he knows I'll pack up and leave. I'm strong-willed.  

 

I'm not trying to give you relationship advice, or to tell you what to do. Consider me your former next-door neighbor from Allemagne

 

I was in a similar situation, except that I'm the guy and my ex wife was the lazy-a$$. It annoyed me to the point where I called a container shipping company to get quotes for shipping all my stuff back to Germany. I ended up biting the bullet, moved out, divorced her and started over. I am now happily married again, but it took me quite some time to find someone I truly love and trust. Being European, you will probably agree that the American mentality is different from the European one. It took me many years to figure out that people here are raised with a different value system, everything is much more commercialized than in Europe, and getting off to a fresh start might involve some pretty harsh decisions (such as divorce, a potential lawsuit over marital assets, finding a job that you like and that pays enough, having to fly at least 8 hours to visit family and old friends, etc. etc.). Just know what you're getting into, in case you decide to stay in America. It's nice here, and with some time the country and the people will grow on you. But don't forget that home is nice too. Being a EU citizen you can move anywhere in Europe (minus the UK, the way it looks right now) without having to pay hefty immigration fees and waiting on documents forever. It'll be closer to home. The divorce, if you get one, will be much easier to handle (albeit longer)from France, and you won't be subjected to the U.S. legal system and tort system. And last but not least, when the time comes, you might find your real soulmate back home, without a language barrier (let's face it, I learned English in school for 9 years and am still struggling with certain things after 10 years in the country), without a difference in cultural background and values, and no immigration benefits tied to that marriage.

 

Just ponder which of the above sounds more appealing to you. In any event, best of luck. No one deserves to be treated like that ❤️

[Shiran 1,134]

3 hours ago, paristousa said:

He is 35! 

He used his parents as a co-sponsor.

The only reason I would stay, is because I'm in the exact predicament here as I am if I go home. E.g have to find somewhere to live, can't drive, start from scratch again etc. 

But atleast home is more familiar, that's a huge reason to go back. I understand how things work more at home. 

Nope, I don't think he will change. I've already spoken to him multiple times and he just says sorry you're bored and goes back to what he's doing. He knows me well, I'm his wife, he knows I'll pack up and leave. I'm strong-willed.  

 

You clearly have superb English, and are able to work here. Learning to drive tends to be a lot easier in US where (fortunately or unfortunately) cities are build around the idea of everyone driving. Also most people drive automatic, do no need to worry about bloody thing rolling down the hill at the traffic light. Bottom line, is, if you dislike your home country, and not home sick, just more "familiar" you will always have that option to go back. But if you leave, you won't have an easy option to come back to USA. One way or the other you accomplished something terrific, and you seem like you want to work, and be productive member of society. You can build upon it here. Finding right partner can come later. Establish yourself first, then look for them on your own terms. But drop whatever (and whoever) is holding you back now. Good luck!

[Chris Duffy 1,256]

6 hours ago, paristousa said:

He is 35! 

He used his parents as a co-sponsor.

The only reason I would stay, is because I'm in the exact predicament here as I am if I go home. E.g have to find somewhere to live, can't drive, start from scratch again etc. 

But atleast home is more familiar, that's a huge reason to go back. I understand how things work more at home. 

Nope, I don't think he will change. I've already spoken to him multiple times and he just says sorry you're bored and goes back to what he's doing. He knows me well, I'm his wife, he knows I'll pack up and leave. I'm strong-willed.  

 

Make a decision that is best for you. You and only you know what that is.

 

I hope you find your happiness in life, everyone deserves that......