Meeting girl from morocco but small issue:) parents think she is in it just for visa... [merged threads]

[RJandHamid 1,128]

Have you asked her about the engagement and marriage process? She would probably be your best resource. 

 

In Morocco it is pretty common to have a small engagement party (nice clothes, tea and cookies) with close family and friends. This isn't required though. The consulate does know that traditional engagement ceremonies are a common practice. Weddings on the other hand are usually larger events, with the bride wearing multiple dresses throughout the night, lots of food and drinks, the ceremonial furniture and music, ect. But again, you can just have a legal marriage without having a big party. Talk to your girlfriend about what she wants and expects. 

 

What do you mean by go out freely together? You can go out together without being married...You can't stay in hotels together before marriage, but just going out and hanging out around town is fine unless her family is extremely conservative. 

 

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

Whatever you don't ,  don't marry on 1st tirip

as for going out, we went to local coffee shops to watch soccer matches and for tea but most moroccan women do not go where there is a lot of men to see soccer

when we went in the car,  a lot of family went with us (only because they had a chance to travel)

you do marry the whole family so don't expect to be alone a lot

no hotel or renting an apartment unless you have a valid marriage certificate to show

as for photos of the visit make sure there is her family (mother important) in them and label names for the application

make sure the engagement party is not viewed as marriage celebration

no photos of dates and milk

no fancy moroccan wedding dresses

no henna celebration 

if she does henna keep that photo out

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

18 hours ago, abum said:

careful there, people are willing to say anything you wanna hear just to convince you  

not to say that you should be suspicious of her but if you spot signs where you think the relationship might have not been genuine, that she looked desperate to get to the USA, then you are just a way to get a US visa.  

agree 

as i said she promised to swear on Koran  / means nothing to most young people there as  they don't follow the religion or read the Koran

only they fast in Ramadan as the mother and sisters do not cook in the day

[Apple Bee 272]

Me and my husband went plenty of places before we officially got married. However, everyone is right about the staying in a hotel thing. We were forewarned to bring a copy of our marriage certificate to be able to stay in the same hotel room together. I'm not sure how much it costs for all the stamps and paperwork to get married as my husband paid for most of it and it was in dirhams. The only thing I paid for was the $100 at the Consulate in Casablanca for the affidavit for eligibility to marry. Lastly, I'm sure if you shop around you can get her a nice ring for a decent price.

[TM92 527]

6 minutes ago, PersaisX said:

everyone is right about the staying in a hotel thing. We were forewarned to bring a copy of our marriage certificate to be able to stay in the same hotel room together.

I'm curious, what is the workaround for this? Always booking separate hotel rooms?

[Apple Bee 272]

6 minutes ago, TM92 said:

I'm curious, what is the workaround for this? Always booking separate hotel rooms?

I imagine so. On the flipside, what's stopping the man or woman from sneaking in to the others room at the end of the night so they can sleep together? I guess it would be a waste of money on the couples' part  though.

[RJandHamid 1,128]

22 minutes ago, TM92 said:

I'm curious, what is the workaround for this? Always booking separate hotel rooms?

Yes, that is often what is done. Or get a private apartment/airbnb that doesn't care if you are married or not. When my husband and I would travel around in Morocco (before we were married), there were numerous people we would pass in the street offering to rent us a private room for the night. Just goes to show that money/bribery can go a long way, no matter who religious or 'conservative' the country is. 

[Ryan H 3,790]

Moved from IR-1/CR-1 Process & Procedures to MENA regional forum; topic is primarily Morocco specific.

[janet3 1,170]

19 hours ago, bakphx1 said:

I personally wouldn’t trust anyone I met online from certain countries, Morocco being one of them.   They portray themselves as bring religious and will play that up.  It’s just words and saying the right words is what they’re good at. They work romance sites (and others) as a full time job and know what to say as they coach each other .  I would bet my whole paycheck it’s a scam.    Is everyone terrible in that country? No.  But all the scammers work the web to meet Americans and lo and behold they’re in love instantly.  Always the same story and everyone thinks theirs  is different.

I find this incredibly insulting (as someone married to an Algerian) Why would a MENA country be any more fraudulent prone than say.....an Asian country or a Central American country? Why do middle aged women have a target on their head? 

And please do tell.....exactly how long does my husband from a “questionable country” have to stay married to me before it becomes a....you know... a real relationship....where we have a lot in common and actually love each other.....one year, 5, 10, 40?

 

[EandH0904 1,184]

20 hours ago, bakphx1 said:

   Is everyone terrible in that country? No.  But all the scammers work the web to meet Americans and lo and behold they’re in love instantly.  Always the same story and everyone thinks theirs  is different.

So not everyone from my husband's terrible country is a scammer but because I'm an American woman who fell in love with a Moroccan I must be a victim of a scam? Your stereotyping every single Moroccan man in a relationship with an American woman but try to get out of it under the guise of "is everyone terrible in that country? No" then spewing more hateful rhetoric.  

 

From your profile you appear to be a same sex couple...if harsh generalizations were forced on you based on stereotypes would that be ok? Why do I have to defend a 2.5 year relationship with a wonderful man who's never asked for a thing from me because you'd bet your entire paycheck I was being scammed? How do you justify putting others down so freely?

[bakphx1 785]

37 minutes ago, janet3 said:

I find this incredibly insulting (as someone married to an Algerian) Why would a MENA country be any more fraudulent prone than say.....an Asian country or a Central American country?

 

 

17 minutes ago, EandH0904 said:

So not everyone from my husband's terrible country is a scammer but because I'm an American woman who fell in love with a Moroccan I must be a victim of a scam? Your stereotyping every single Moroccan man in a relationship with an American woman but try to get out of it under the guise of "is everyone terrible in that country? No" then spewing more hateful rhetoric.  

 

It’s based on having read quite a bit on the subject.  I’ve had friends either scammed or attempted to be scammed by people from these countries.  A pattern emerges.  Even here on VJ there are plenty of women who find that the thoughtful caring husband changes, the day he gets his 10 year green card.  Then they dump the wife.  

 

The odds are not in your favor because you are more likely to cross paths with them, than with someone who doesn’t aggressively look for Americans on dating sites.  

 

The information is is out there.  Research it or don’t.  It’s your life.  

 

 

[Boiler 43,419]

I have never been but one of my Neighbours finished her PHD over there and explained how it operated, to be fair not just the US. So few opportunites, so many looking for a way to get out.

[Hobidyali 267]

There's good and bad in every country, I myself have visited Morocco several times and have taken note to what @adilrafa mentioned with regard to call of prayer and most not praying. The reason I say this is because in terms of "hands on the Quran", it seems like that would not be proof of someone's sincerity. As most have mentioned, your best bet would be to visit multiple times and after some time you will see the persons true intentions , do not rush into it.

[Mayi & MiMi 172]

20 hours ago, PersaisX said:

I imagine so. On the flipside, what's stopping the man or woman from sneaking in to the others room at the end of the night so they can sleep together? I guess it would be a waste of money on the couples' part  though.

My experience in this is:  If you rent a room for the night they make you pay for separate rooms.  In my case we were in Marrakesh and I was with my fiance and his two friends.  We got 2 separate rooms and they put me in the very first room with the security camera on my door and the men were put in a room way across the way  I have heard, but can not confirm, that police often go to the rooms just to make sure you are not alone with a man especially if you are Moroccan and unmarried.  

[Apple Bee 272]

1 minute ago, Mayi & MiMi said:

My experience in this is:  If you rent a room for the night they make you pay for separate rooms.  In my case we were in Marrakesh and I was with my fiance and his two friends.  We got 2 separate rooms and they put me in the very first room with the security camera on my door and the men were put in a room way across the way  I have heard, but can not confirm, that police often go to the rooms just to make sure you are not alone with a man especially if you are Moroccan and unmarried.  

Wow! They are serious about not letting premarital sex happen on their watch lol