My k-1 wife's ex spouse.

[John & Rose 7,237]

4 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

 

YOU are out of line.  YOU have no rights with regard to the children.  You need to think seriously about what I have said or you may be seriously disappointed in the future.  You need to find an attorney for your wife really fast.  I hope your wife realizes that you have no duty to support HER children.

 

YOU need to start putting the best interest of the children first and facilitate the relationship with their father rather than try to put roadblocks to it.

If they are married and her children are under 18, he does have a step child/step father relationship.  That does have rights and responsibilities.

 

I don't always believe the biological father has the best interest of the children in mind either.  I believe the OP has to do what he and his wife determine IS in the best interest of the child.  

Edited October 19, 2018 by John & Rose

[CEE53147 559]

2 minutes ago, Greenbaum said:

I read it as they are being overly cautious and they too have rights. But I can't deny the fact of what you say about the father's rights where I agree with you. There should be a happy medium. But, IMHO I wouldn't do it with out counsel. There are two sides to the story and we only have their side.

 

The attorney should have been consulted long before the marriage. Stepdad needs to get out of the situation and do nothing to hinder the relationship of the children to their father as he seems intent to do.

 

[CEE53147 559]

1 minute ago, John & Rose said:

If they are married and her children are under 18, he does have a step child/step father relationship.  That does have rights and responsibilities.

 

A step parent has inherently no rights or responsibilities.  In the event of a divorce, a step parent is not generally ordered to pay child support.  A step parent cannot sign legal documents on behalf of the child. Unless a step parent adopts a child, the birth parents are the child's legal guardians/parents. Adoption terminates a birth parent's rights and responsibilities.

[John & Rose 7,237]

1 minute ago, CEE53147 said:

 

The attorney should have been consulted long before the marriage. Stepdad needs to get out of the situation and do nothing to hinder the relationship of the children to their father as he seems intent to do.

 

It seems like you may have a unique perspective on this situation.  Maybe it is much closer to your heart than it is to ours.  We are lucky that the biological father is involved in their lives and I encourage that.  We all try to get along and so far everything is fine.  I also know of many stories that aren't quite as nice.  Biological fathers that kidnap their children at night and hold them hostage in the Philippines is somewhat common.  So are biological fathers that never supported their children until word of an annulment comes up and then they see that as a way to extort money.  We don't know this situation but it should always consider what is best for the children first.

[John & Rose 7,237]

11 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

 

Then in your state, mom would have to notify dad every time SHE takes them out of state.

Correct. I had to be notified EVERY TIME my ex wife took them out of state.  They are older now so we dont need that anymore.  I also notified her when I took them out of state.  It is required by law.

[Boiler 43,427]

Not much of a problem where I am could be challenging in say Delaware.

[CEE53147 559]

International child custody/visitation is difficult when the parents are in agreement and there is no outside interference. In this case, OP is interjecting himself and seems to be trying to control dad's access to the children.

 

He did not indicate whether dad has a US tourist visa and can even come to visit in the US and does not want them to return to their home country to visit their father.  Dad is entitled to have second thoughts about allowing his children to relocate - especially since he is being denied access to the children at his convenience not at a step parent's control.

 

Mom needs a family law attorney with experience in international custody/visitation issues. It is better late than not at all.

[John & Rose 7,237]

8 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

 

A step parent has inherently no rights or responsibilities.  In the event of a divorce, a step parent is not generally ordered to pay child support.  A step parent cannot sign legal documents on behalf of the child. Unless a step parent adopts a child, the birth parents are the child's legal guardians/parents. Adoption terminates a birth parent's rights and responsibilities.

This is true.  In my case, both biological parents have allowed me power of attorney to make emergency medical decisions for the kids if they are not available.  I trust them and they trust me.  It was done by legal consul.  I don't want to adopt AJ because he is the last of his father's bloodline.  Aira wants me to adopt her.  We will decide that later when we are all together.

[CEE53147 559]

9 minutes ago, John & Rose said:

It seems like you may have a unique perspective on this situation.  Maybe it is much closer to your heart than it is to ours.  We are lucky that the biological father is involved in their lives and I encourage that.  We all try to get along and so far everything is fine.  I also know of many stories that aren't quite as nice.  Biological fathers that kidnap their children at night and hold them hostage in the Philippines is somewhat common.  So are biological fathers that never supported their children until word of an annulment comes up and then they see that as a way to extort money.  We don't know this situation but it should always consider what is best for the children first.

 

That is because you understand the importance to children to have both parents involved in their lives. You are to be commended!

 

In the US a parent whose rights have not been terminated cannot "kidnap" his/her own child. They can interfere with custody. "Kidnap" implies much more than a parent inappropriately denying the other parent contact with the child.

[CEE53147 559]

5 minutes ago, John & Rose said:

This is true.  In my case, both biological parents have allowed me power of attorney to make emergency medical decisions for the kids if they are not available.  I trust them and they trust me.  It was done by legal consul.  I don't want to adopt AJ because he is the last of his father's bloodline.  Aira wants me to adopt her.  We will decide that later when we are all together.

 

You are simply relating to OP the realities of the legal position of a step parent.  He really needs to become more aware of his legal rights and responsibilities.

 

Being a step parent is difficult - being a parent period is a challenge - when everyone is cooperating. OP's attitude indicates a potential for problems unless he gets an attitude adjustment.

[John & Rose 7,237]

16 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

International child custody/visitation is difficult when the parents are in agreement and there is no outside interference. In this case, OP is interjecting himself and seems to be trying to control dad's access to the children.

 

He did not indicate whether dad has a US tourist visa and can even come to visit in the US and does not want them to return to their home country to visit their father.  Dad is entitled to have second thoughts about allowing his children to relocate - especially since he is being denied access to the children at his convenience not at a step parent's control.

 

Mom needs a family law attorney with experience in international custody/visitation issues. It is better late than not at all.

That is a good point.  Maybe if they worked together to establish a time for video calls and a better understanding of each other's ideas it may be smoother.  As a new step father I am also trying to establish a trusting relationship with my step children.  I encourage them to talk to their father and I talk to the father often about the children.  They are older so it is not as confusing for them.  I do want them to know that they are loved and respected and that I do expect to be treated the same by them.  We have offered to have the father visit up in the states once we settle in.  Their father is an OFW in Ireland and I would have no problem letting the kids visit him there.  I also know that he has no interest in having them around him all the time so that helps me a little.  He doesn't and never did want the responsibility of kids.  He enjoyed making them more than having to care for them!  LOL  

[Michelle M 133]

2 hours ago, JamesySofia said:

. So my question is: Do the children need his consent every time they want to come back to the USA and can he legally detain them if they are to travel back to CO?

I would consult a lawyer knowledgeable with Colombian law. 

[JayMar2019 2,741]

1 hour ago, CEE53147 said:

 

Not true.  Unless restricted by court order, a child is free to travel as the  parent with current possession allows. In the US, a mother does not automatically get control over the children of a marriage or where paternity has been determined.

 

OP,  You need to step out of this.  It is between the parents. If your wife has a legal question about what is required by her divorces/custody orders, she should consult an attorney knowledgeable with Columbia and US law.  The AILA organization or Martindale are the best places to try to locate an attorney with the proper expertise.

 

As for the children's father being the problem, you are grossly mistaken.  The children have two parents, and you are not one of them.  It was incredible selfish for your wife to deprive the children of a relationship with their father and his family.  You would move to Columbia as a family if you really were concerned about the children.

 

Quite frankly, I find your attitude about controlling access of a father to his children to be disgusting.  He is the one who has been affected by their being removed from their home area. Contact should be at his convenience, not yours.

 

 

Your statement above is incorrect. As @John & Rose said, here in the US, NEITHER PARENT is allowed to travel outside of the residential/custodial area, whether domestic or international, without the other parent's knowledge and consent when the have joint custody. I know this from first hand experience as my son's father took my son to Niagara Falls on the Canada side, and I was called by the customs officer as they were trying to come cross the border if I had given permission to allow my son to go with his father into Canada as he DID NOT have a written consent letter stating he could, all he had was his visitation agreement showing that was his "scheduled" weekend. Had I not given verbal consent over the phone that day, they were gonna detain his father and ex-wife and I would have had to drive from Delaware to Canada to go get my son who at that time was 7-8 years old. The only time your statement above carries weight is when there is a TPR in place where the other parent has given up or has had parental rights taken from them by the court. So no...a child is not free to travel anywhere when both parents have joint custody.

 

Also, while I agree with the point of this post, I believe your "hostile" outlook is extreme as the OP wasn't saying he wasn't allowing contact between the father and child. He stated that at times, the father would call and if they do not answer, he would call them back repeatedly, which implies that the father just happened to call when no one or the child wasn't by the phone which, in life, does happen. Furthermore, OP doesn't appear to be putting himself in the middle of this parental agreement or arrangement. His post is him simply sharing what recent experience he and his wife have been dealing with and seeking advice on what possible remedies can be done. Nowhere in his post does he state that HE is gonna take any type of action against the child's father. Nothing he said in his post came off controlling. Yes, the child has and is being affected by this recent life event but both parents agreed which is why the child is here in the US in the first place. So, you came off very aggressive here!

 

@JamesySofia..considering your wife and her son are pending status and are unable to travel at this time, I would suggest you explain this to your wife and let her explain it to her ex-husband and if he REALLY wants to see his son, he will make the effort to apply for a tourist visa to come visit and/or when she's and her son are allowed travel, they meet in a mutual area where SHE is present as well. As others have said prior, I would NOT recommend the child go back by himself because without knowing the whole story (but have gone through a similar situation where my son's father allows his parents to use him to act like he wants to be an active parent all of sudden), it's clear there's more of a hidden agenda behind his reasoning.

Edited October 19, 2018 by Trinab80

[SalishSea 16,769]

2 hours ago, John & Rose said:

If they are married and her children are under 18, he does have a step child/step father relationship.  That does have rights and responsibilities.

 

I don't always believe the biological father has the best interest of the children in mind either.  I believe the OP has to do what he and his wife determine IS in the best interest of the child.  

I would agree that there is a “relationship” there, but unless a formal adoption has taken place, a step-parent does not have a *legal* relationship to a step-child.   At least, in my state (Washington).  In other words, they are not financially responsible for the step-child, nor can they make major decisions on their behalf.

[John & Rose 7,237]

8 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

I would agree that there is a “relationship” there, but unless a formal adoption has taken place, a step-parent does not have a *legal* relationship to a step-child.   At least, in my state (Washington).  In other words, they are not financially responsible for the step-child, nor can they make major decisions on their behalf.

True.  I have (or will have) power of attorney for medical emergencies if the biological mother is not available.  Legally I don't have any other rights or responsibilities.