does it affect my VAWA case if i have a baby with other guy during marriage

[jacobamanda63 28]

21 minutes ago, ivyyy said:

Damn. This thread makes me lose faith in humanity. Clearly, many of those demeaning OP do not understand the power dynamic in an abusive relationship.

 

I’m sorry people are judging you for something they will hopefully never have to endure.

 

I hope your VAWA case works in your favor. It’s tough right now but there are shelters and DV centers that can help you... You may feel quite lonely now but there are people out there who have experienced abuse, too. Please reach out to them (if you haven’t yet).

 

It takes strength to go on this forum and share what you just shared. Stay strong 💪🏼 especially for your little one.

Thanks very much for your kindness! I can not stop my tears when I read your warmth words . 

[lierre 224]

4 minutes ago, jacobamanda63 said:

Thanks very much for your kindness! I can not stop my tears when I read your warmth words . 

 

You’re very welcome. I’m really glad that your abuser ex is in jail now. I’m really hoping for the best for you.

 

I don’t have much experience with VAWA but are you connected to local resources, such as domestic violence organizations? I’m sure they can point you to a group that can potentially help you with your petition.

[jacobamanda63 28]

11 minutes ago, ivyyy said:

 

You’re very welcome. I’m really glad that your abuser ex is in jail now. I’m really hoping for the best for you.

 

I don’t have much experience with VAWA but are you connected to local resources, such as domestic violence organizations? I’m sure they can point you to a group that can potentially help you with your petition.

Money is good , he is rich so he had three attorneys that works together for him.  they got him out of the jail the next day .  his attorneys had him pleaded one guilty but dismissed he beat me up . Court is open for every one but poor person is hard to win the case because lawyer fee is the way too much. 

I am very thankful for your replying . You are very kind and helpful. I moved out of his home to a safe place now. the hospital let me go to see psychologist with no charge . I will PM you tomorrow. 

Thanks again! 

[Villanelle 4,121]

@jacobamanda63

 

It was very nice of Ivyyy to offer you a friendly ear, sometimes that is needed. But you also need LEGITIMATE advice about your situation and ivvyy has no VAWA experience. Please wait to see if the user @sandranj responds. She is a VAWA attny that helps many people in the VAWA thread (in this subforum). I suggest you join that thread. You do not need to post your question again there since I am tagging Sandra to read it here;

Basic summary- 

Timeline-

 

Quote

 

dated each other since 2014 summer

(break up in 2016  , then I dated with ex boyfriend)

 back together in Jan 2017, same time break up with ex boyfriend.

  married in middle of Oct 2017

 first physical abuse  at 11/10/17 

first verbal abuse at 11/14/17

abuser applied my GC based on marriage  11/24/17

first sexual abuse at  11/30/17

then talked to ex boyfriend and  met once in Dec 1. 

since then my ex abuser husband abuse me every few days until he went to jail.

financial abuse start in Dec 17. 

find out pregnant in end of Dec 17.

My ex abuser husband decided want this baby. 

abuse never stopped until he went to jail  in March 18.but he had good lawyer and dismissed this case.

divorce started. 

abuser withdrew the petition i130,i485 in August.

gave baby birth in early of September.18

I filed VAWA in middle of Sep.18 after baby birth

paternity results showed he is not the father in oct.

divorce final couple days ago . 

 

Basically she said in her 360 affidavit that abuser was baby dad because she believed such to be true. Has since found out he is not the father and wants to know how to notify VSC/what to say. (divorce decree says ex is not father)

[Sandra G. 5,016]

16 hours ago, Damara said:

@jacobamanda63

 

It was very nice of Ivyyy to offer you a friendly ear, sometimes that is needed. But you also need LEGITIMATE advice about your situation and ivvyy has no VAWA experience. Please wait to see if the user @sandranj responds. She is a VAWA attny that helps many people in the VAWA thread (in this subforum). I suggest you join that thread. You do not need to post your question again there since I am tagging Sandra to read it here;

Basic summary- 

Timeline-

 

Basically she said in her 360 affidavit that abuser was baby dad because she believed such to be true. Has since found out he is not the father and wants to know how to notify VSC/what to say. (divorce decree says ex is not father)

I believe I answered her through pm a few days ago when she sent me a pm, or maybe she is another one with a similar case, despite the person who sent me a pm didn't explain that she got pregnant when still living with her husband. She can write a letter stating everything what happened, because if USCIS finds out just when attending the interview that he is not the father the officer probably will consider her "a non credible person" and he probably will ship the case to VSC to be revoked, then as soon she should inform USCIS that he is not the father ,but I have to mention that she might have a problem here to prove bonafide marriage because she got pregnant when still living with her husband. I am not passing judgement here I am just saying how it works VAWA cases.

Edited October 22, 2018 by sandranj

[Boiler 43,429]

Would the timing so soon after the Marriage be considered?

[lierre 224]

17 hours ago, Damara said:

@jacobamanda63

 

It was very nice of Ivyyy to offer you a friendly ear, sometimes that is needed. But you also need LEGITIMATE advice about your situation and ivvyy has no VAWA experience. Please wait to see if the user @sandranj responds. She is a VAWA attny that helps many people in the VAWA thread (in this subforum). I suggest you join that thread. You do not need to post your question again there since I am tagging Sandra to read it here;

Basic summary- 

Timeline-

 

Basically she said in her 360 affidavit that abuser was baby dad because she believed such to be true. Has since found out he is not the father and wants to know how to notify VSC/what to say. (divorce decree says ex is not father)

 

I don’t have VAWA experience with immigrants. But I’ve been involved in numerous projects funded federally by CDC and by DOJ through VAWA. As such, violence prevention is my field, I don’t do direct services.

 

What I offered to help her with is to sort out where she can get local resources... Sadly, OP does not have sufficient funding to get proper legal assistance. Hence, she could surely use the help of local nonprofits that work in immigration advocacy. 

 

But anyway, i’m glad there’s at least a VAWA-experienced lawyer on the forum who can answer questions. 

 

 

1 hour ago, sandranj said:

I believe I answered her through pm a few days ago when she sent me a pm, or maybe she is another one with a similar case, despite the person who sent me a pm didn't explain that she got pregnant when still living with her husband. She can write a letter stating everything what happened, because if USCIS finds out just when attending the interview that he is not the father the officer probably will consider her "a non credible person" and he probably will ship the case to VSC to be revoked, then as soon she should inform USCIS that he is not the father ,but I have to mention that she might have a problem here to prove bonafide marriage because she got pregnant when still living with her husband. I am not passing judgement here I am just saying how it works VAWA cases.

 

I could only find Immigration Advocates Network as a resource for finding nonprofits that help with VAWA petitions. Could you help point OP to another online resource for a listing of nonprofits? Or is there maybe a helpline for VAWA petitions that you may know of?

 

[EM_Vandaveer 2,368]

On 10/20/2018 at 7:18 PM, Orangesapples said:

I know this is off topic but it's not true, there are only 6 days in a cycle when a woman can get pregnant, it's just difficult to predict when these 6 days start. Right after your period is a very likely time for the fertile window to begin. 

Right after your period (day 5 or 7) you are NOT fertile. Most women's fertile days start around day 10. That said, you most definitely can get pregnant any day of your cycle. Some days, it's less likely to happen but it can still happen.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

1 hour ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

Right after your period (day 5 or 7) you are NOT fertile. Most women's fertile days start around day 10. That said, you most definitely can get pregnant any day of your cycle. Some days, it's less likely to happen but it can still happen.

Nope, you can't. You can only get pregnant during ovulation and if you've had intercourse up to 5 days prior to ovulation. Ovulation can happen as early as day 8 and as late as day 28 but once it's over, you can't get pregnant. After a woman ovulates, she gets her period after 9 to 16 days (on average 13) and during those days getting pregnant is impossible. It's also impossible to get pregnant if you have sex more than 5 days before ovulation because sperm die. It's just that irregular cycles are a thing and ovulation day can vary a lot from cycle to cycle, so unless a woman knows how to track her fertility (mucus and temperature) she likely has no idea when she's fertile. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

https://www.babymed.com/blogs/summer-banks/can-i-get-pregnant-any-day-month

 

The most fertile days of your cycle are the days when you are most likely to conceive, but that doesn’t mean these are the only days when you can conceive. At any given time during the month a woman has about a 20% chance of conception. So, if you’re just tired of counting, tracking, measuring and planning you can take a step back for a few months to just relax and enjoy sex. 

The simple answer to the question is YES, you can get pregnant on any day of the month. You can even get pregnant right in the middle of your menstrual cycle, but there are times during your cycle with conception is more likely and those are the days you’re aiming for when you keep track of your menstrual cycles. 

[EM_Vandaveer 2,368]

7 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Nope, you can't. You can only get pregnant during ovulation and if you've had intercourse up to 5 days prior to ovulation. Ovulation can happen as early as day 8 and as late as day 28 but once it's over, you can't get pregnant. After a woman ovulates, she gets her period after 9 to 16 days (on average 13) and during those days getting pregnant is impossible. It's also impossible to get pregnant if you have sex more than 5 days before ovulation because sperm die. It's just that irregular cycles are a thing and ovulation day can vary a lot from cycle to cycle, so unless a woman knows how to track her fertility (mucus and temperature) she likely has no idea when she's fertile. 

You'd be right IF a woman couldn't spontaneously ovulate or ovulate more than once in a cycle but both are possible. Therefore it's entirely possible to get pregnant any day of one's cycle, it's just less likely on some days than on other days.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

5 minutes ago, debbiedoo said:

https://www.babymed.com/blogs/summer-banks/can-i-get-pregnant-any-day-month

 

The most fertile days of your cycle are the days when you are most likely to conceive, but that doesn’t mean these are the only days when you can conceive. At any given time during the month a woman has about a 20% chance of conception. So, if you’re just tired of counting, tracking, measuring and planning you can take a step back for a few months to just relax and enjoy sex. 

The simple answer to the question is YES, you can get pregnant on any day of the month. You can even get pregnant right in the middle of your menstrual cycle, but there are times during your cycle with conception is more likely and those are the days you’re aiming for when you keep track of your menstrual cycles. 

You're just plain wrong about that:

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC27529/

 

"During the average woman's menstrual cycle there are six days when intercourse can result in pregnancy; this “fertile window” comprises the five days before ovulation and the day of ovulation itself" 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7477165

What your article is referring to is the probability to be in your fertile window at a certain day of the month. This doesn't change the fact that your fertile window is only 6 days. Why? Because you need a sperm and an egg for pregnancy to happen and a woman releases an egg only once during her menstrual cycle (even if she releases 2 eggs, they get released within one day of each other) and the egg only lives for no more than 24 hours, then it dies and cannot be fertilized anymore. Then you have to wait for your next cycle before you have another ovulation. Sperm can only live for no more than 5 days waiting for the egg. That's why there's a limited window when sex can result in pregnancy. This window can move from cycle to cycle but it's always no more than 6 days long, shorter for some couples. 

[debbiedoo 2,339]

you can screw facts to reflect whatever you want. just because it is statistically UNLIKELY to occur during a certain time doesn't mean it cant or never happens.

 

regardless, you cheat on your spouse and have unprotected sex, then let the consequences fall where they will.

 

condoms are cheaper than diapers after all.

[Orangesapples 1,954]

16 minutes ago, EM_Vandaveer said:

You'd be right IF a woman couldn't spontaneously ovulate or ovulate more than once in a cycle but both are possible. Therefore it's entirely possible to get pregnant any day of one's cycle, it's just less likely on some days than on other days.

A woman ovulates only once per cycle unless she has some extremely rare medical condition (that results in for example, a woman having 2 fetuses in totally different stages of development, such as one is 3 months, the other one is 1 month. This is extremely rare, more rare than one in a million and not an actual concern for regular people). A woman can release 2 eggs or more in 1 cycle but they're all released within 24 hours of each other. And then they die within 24 hours. After ovulation, the ovary starts producing progesterone (the luteal phase) which prohibits ovulation and prepares the body for pregnancy. This is also how birth control pills work. If no pregnancy happens, progesterone levels drop after about 2 weeks and bleeding starts (the period). If there is a pregnancy, progesterone levels continue to rise. 

Edited October 24, 2018 by Orangesapples

[Orangesapples 1,954]

5 minutes ago, debbiedoo said:

you can screw facts to reflect whatever you want. just because it is statistically UNLIKELY to occur during a certain time doesn't mean it cant or never happens.

 

regardless, you cheat on your spouse and have unprotected sex, then let the consequences fall where they will.

 

condoms are cheaper than diapers after all.

No, I just showed you a scientific study that tells you plain and simple that pregnancy can only result after sex during 6 days of your cycle. No pregnancy is possible outside of that window. The only statistical probability that is relevant is the probability to be in your fertile window during a certain day of your period of you don't track your temperature and don't know for sure but this doesn't mean that the fertile window is any longer than 6 days per cycle, shorter for some. You just can't get pregnant without an egg and a sperm meeting. Now, most women have no idea when their fertile window is, true. Many people don't even know this is a thing but science has established it for a very long time. 

 

Having unprotected sex can certainly result in pregnancy and it obviously did. OP was in her fertile window right after her period (very normal) and got pregnant. But this doesn't mean that sex can result in pregnancy at any time. That's just not true. 

Edited October 24, 2018 by Orangesapples