I have no income & no assets, will that affect my wife's chance to get a U.S. visa even if she has a joint sponsor?

[MichaelD1980 3]

2 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

Have you tried reading the book "When Panic Attacks" by Dr David Burns? He has some really good insights and helpful tips. 

 

I find it terrible that so many people are questioning you. I do believe you that it's hard for you to get a job. 

 

What are your interests? If you're interested in it, there are many ways to learn different programming and scripting languages online. Of course, finding a job might be hard with no experience and no connections. That's why I think that your best bet is learning Excel and trying to find a data entry job or something similar where your interactions with others are are minimal or through email only. Hopefully an employer will be able to make reasonable accommodations for you when it comes to interacting with coworkers. I'm sure it's an uphill battle

Thank you, yes its really been hard, I would gladly give up SSI to be able to work, the panic attacks suck, I hate this, my whole life has been miserable, I'm home most of the time, Its a big task just to go in the grocery store, I try my best not to have any panic attacks, I feel like I can't breath sometimes. I love my wife, I want her here with me, I am gonna try to get this job with my sister even though I have this problem, my sister is friends with the boss, I was told they would hire me. its a big factory and yes I'm very worried about that, don't know if I will  be able to do it but need to try. I can't find any job where I don't have to be around people, I wish I could find a real online job that paid a lot.

 

[hm139 55]

Wow, people on here are being super ableist. This guy went through the hurdles of proving his disability to the SSA. No one does that if they don't truly need it. He's clearly miserable. Why shouldn't a person like him be able to marry who he wants? Or should only the rich and able be able to marry?

 

OP, I can think of a few jobs for you. Public libraries often have jobs where they need people to organize and put books away. You could try applying for a job like that. Or an Amazon warehouse -- I think those jobs are very physical and stressful but my perception is there's not a lot of social interaction involved. My last suggestion is to look for online transcribing jobs. You have to be very good at English grammar for those, but you can absolutely do them from your house. If you got a job like that, it might be easier for you to just move to the Philippines and work remotely, because your money would go further there.

[MichaelD1980 3]

You

7 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

You do realize that mental illness presents unique challenges, right? I know people with mental illness who have never worked because they just can't. For someone with social anxiety, even a job interview will be very hard. Don't minimize mental illness and please don't shame people for not being able to live up to your standards. It's really not nice 

Your right, it is a mental illness, I don't like being this way, my whole life has been absolutely miserable, its even hard to go to my parents house on Christmas, I wait till everyone is gone, like all my cousins and their family, but I'm ok around my parents and siblings.

[usmsbow 795]

10 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

You do realize that mental illness presents unique challenges, right? I know people with mental illness who have never worked because they just can't. For someone with social anxiety, even a job interview will be very hard. Don't minimize mental illness and please don't shame people for not being able to live up to your standards. It's really not nice 

 

Yes. I've had cancer 3 times*, and I'd take those experiences any day over having a mental illness (no disrespect meant towards the OP)*. Why? My cancer was pretty straightforward: I had it, the treatment was chemo for _____ months, and then either I was in remission or screwed (more or less). Not much ambiguity. Sure, it sucked, and I wasn't very happy, but I also clearly knew my condition and the situation. Mental illness often is very difficult to diagnosis and treat. And also, unlike something like cancer, the symptoms are not visible, so people are less prone to be sympathetic.

 

 

 

*I realize everyone has a different cancer experience, and I don't mean to be dismissive of the trauma of cancer, just talking about my own life... 

 

 

[MichaelD1980 3]

1 minute ago, usmsbow said:

 

Yes. I've had cancer 3 times*, and I'd take those experiences any day over having a mental illness (no disrespect meant towards the OP)*. Why? My cancer was pretty straightforward: I had it, the treatment was chemo for _____ months, and then either I was in remission or screwed (more or less). Not much ambiguity. Sure, it sucked, and I wasn't very happy, but I also clearly knew my condition and the situation. Mental illness often is very difficult to diagnosis and treat. And also, unlike something like cancer, the symptoms are not visible, so people are less prone to be sympathetic.

 

 

 

*I realize everyone has a different cancer experience, and I don't mean to be dismissive of the trauma of cancer, just talking about my own life... 

 

 

I'm very sorry to hear about that.

[usmsbow 795]

2 minutes ago, MichaelD1980 said:

I'm very sorry to hear about that.

 

Well I've been blessed in a million other ways, and am healthy now, so can't complain. 

 

Like I said, best of luck to you and your wife. As long as you have a joint sponsor, you should be OK. Has your wife's interview been scheduled yet? 

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

1 hour ago, MichaelD1980 said:

I'm gonna try, I have very bad social anxiety and panic attacks but I need to try

You do.  I've got social anxiety, but I find ways to make my life work.  I went to years of group support for it.

 

41 minutes ago, JFH said:

Are you on any medication for it or receiving any counseling for it? Anxiety is treatable. It’s not terminal. In the past I have worked with people going through cancer, a woman who was completely wheelchair-bound, a woman with no hands, a man with one leg, a man on dialysis. They all worked, some of them only part-time but they worked. 

Counseling and medication are generally unhelpful for social anxiety.  Cognitive behavioral therapy would be a good option.  There is definitely work for people with SA and avoiding work only makes the condition worse because it is decreasing your exposure to normal social interactions.

 

16 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

You do realize that mental illness presents unique challenges, right? I know people with mental illness who have never worked because they just can't. For someone with social anxiety, even a job interview will be very hard. Don't minimize mental illness and please don't shame people for not being able to live up to your standards. It's really not nice 

 

I have standards as someone with it myself.  I know that it is hard, really hard, but part of adulting is just struggling through it.  

I seriously can't believe that someone was even able to get disability for it.  Ridiculous.  

 

[MichaelD1980 3]

1 minute ago, MichaelD1980 said:

I'm very sorry to hear about that.

I don't like having this problem, I realize some people have different problems. I would gladly give up the SSI to have a big income and be able to get my wife to the US, I am gonna try to work, I called SSI and told them I'm gonna try to work, if I get the job I just have to send SSI a copy of my salary each month. I might lose all of my SSI working at this factory because it pays a lot, I'm just scared about how I will function working around all those people, I hope I don't mess up, I have a hard time focusing on things and I forget a lot if I'm nervous.

[MichaelD1980 3]

2 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

You do.  I've got social anxiety, but I find ways to make my life work.  I went to years of group support for it.

 

Counseling and medication are generally unhelpful for social anxiety.  Cognitive behavioral therapy would be a good option.  There is definitely work for people with SA and avoiding work only makes the condition worse because it is decreasing your exposure to normal social interactions.

 

 

I have standards as someone with it myself.  I know that it is hard, really hard, but part of adulting is just struggling through it.  

I seriously can't believe that someone was even able to get disability for it.  Ridiculous.  

 

People just don't understand and people can be really mean, that's all.

[MichaelD1980 3]

Just now, MichaelD1980 said:

People just don't understand and people can be really mean, that's all.

 

Just now, MichaelD1980 said:

People just don't understand and people can be really mean, that's all.

I might as well never sign back into this account because it has not been helpful,  its just getting me more upset, I don't need to go into a panic attack over all this #######, I need to try to calm down and ignore people.

[MichaelD1980 3]

11 minutes ago, usmsbow said:

 

Well I've been blessed in a million other ways, and am healthy now, so can't complain. 

 

Like I said, best of luck to you and your wife. As long as you have a joint sponsor, you should be OK. Has your wife's interview been scheduled yet? 

Thanks, no, she has not been scheduled an interview yet, her petition was approved though. I just need to send the affidavits of support and the supporting documents to the NVC. The NVC did tell  me they accept joint sponsors but the final decision is up to the interviewer, So I just have to hope and pray everything will be ok.

[JFH 12,189]

38 minutes ago, Orangesapples said:

You do realize that mental illness presents unique challenges, right? I know people with mental illness who have never worked because they just can't. For someone with social anxiety, even a job interview will be very hard. Don't minimize mental illness and please don't shame people for not being able to live up to your standards. It's really not nice 

I’ve had my own experience with mental illness - was even hospitalized briefly - but just the same as physical illness people cope with it in different ways. You have people who call out sick at work with a stomach upset and those who take an Imodium and get on with it. Job interviews can be done by phone and Skype now. I got my job without ever seeing anyone from the company in the flesh or stepping foot in the building. It was all done by phone, online assessment, email and Skype. 

 

Surely being able to bring his wife here would give him the motivation to focus on getting well? You need to think yourself well. And the feeling of earning your own money does wonders too. It certainly helped me when I went back to work. 

[MichaelD1980 3]

1 minute ago, JFH said:

I’ve had my own experience with mental illness - was even hospitalized briefly - but just the same as physical illness people cope with it in different ways. You have people who call out sick at work with a stomach upset and those who take an Imodium and get on with it. Job interviews can be done by phone and Skype now. I got my job without ever seeing anyone from the company in the flesh or stepping foot in the building. It was all done by phone, online assessment, email and Skype. 

 

Surely being able to bring his wife here would give him the motivation to focus on getting well? You need to think yourself well. And the feeling of earning your own money does wonders too. It certainly helped me when I went back to work. 

I know, I'm trying, I love my wife and want to be with her, she has motivated me some, I need her here with me, I think that would help me to a lot also

[EM_Vandaveer 2,368]

3 hours ago, NuestraUnion said:

Which means the CO will not approve your wife’s visa until you show sufficient evidence that you can provide for her.

BS. That's what the joint sponsor is for. It's not about him providing for her. It's about her not becoming a public charge. That's what the joint sponsor is for.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

1 minute ago, MichaelD1980 said:

I know, I'm trying, I love my wife and want to be with her, she has motivated me some, I need her here with me, I think that would help me to a lot also

 

This might hit you a little hard, but social anxiety is usually made worse by having a partner to lean on.  I've been there and it happens to me every time I'm in a relationship.    Try and be strong for her sake and develop your own friends, life, and career.