Best Course of Action for Our Situation

[AnonIndia 58]

I am a 23 year old Indian Male. I met my lady (25 Year old US Citizen) on OKCupid when I was in Russia where I was studying medicine. I dropped out due to various reasons. She was adopted from Russia by her American parents back in the 90s. I was at her hometown and OKCupid matched us  because she had set her location as Yekaterinburg for some reason. I am glad she did! LOL. We are both glad we found each other.  I had previously tried to apply for US Tourist Visa twice in quick succession in order to go see her and to take my mind off of university as well. I was denied twice. The reason being I did not have strong ties to my host country which I only realized the second time around. I was naive as to the reason why they denied me the first time as I am new to applying US Visas. i was still enrolled in my university although I was struggling when they denied my visas. Long story short we have been talking for a year and we are 100% invested in our relationship. We planned a trip to Italy so we can meet but that failed when her godmother got sick and she had to stay and take care of her. We have been discussing for a while and looking at options and she wants to come visit me in India now. The question is should we get married (If we decide to) and apply for the CR1 or should we apply for the K1 when she goes back to the US? What would be the best course of action in our situation? We have been looking at various cases of K1 visas being denied. She can be present with me during my K1 interview but will that 100% ensure that our visa gets approved? Or should we get married and apply for the CR1? She can be present with me during CR1 interview as well. I have talked to her parents, her bother who is in the navy and her sister through skype on numerous occations and her parents support her decision in coming to see me. However my mother hates the idea of me marrying a white person. I brought up my ex who was a Russian a few years ago to my mom and she blew up over it. So obviously we won't have approval on my mom's side and I know US embassies in India value parental approval greatly when deciding to give out visas. Also when I was being interviewed by the Consular Office for my tourist visa I said my purpose of visit was tourism and that I didn't have any friends or relatives in the US. Will this be considered as lying during my CR1 or K1 interview? What is the best course of action for us? 

Edited December 12, 2017 by AnonIndia
Pressed enter accidentally.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare

 

As you have already realized your family's approval will be an issue that is best resolved before going onto the visa application process.  Only you and your fiance can determine what works best for your unique situation.  Nothing will give you 100% guarantee of an approval.    You will need strong relationship evidence.  And from the sounds of it alot more facetime.  Skype isn't going to do it.  You need in person visits.

[Jeanne Adil 1,651]

there was a recent post from India husband and i hope he responds as he wrote

" i walked into interview and the man said we know how to deal with people like you" because of the divorce

you are right and stongly i suggest you are able to prove to your mom this woman is right for you

why not have her come to India and allow them to meet?  works or does't but you will be asked if family approves of this relaitonship

ordinarily i would say marry but maybe K1 and financee visa as a marriage would be a burden if CO denies 

[AnonIndia 58]

I understand talking over video chat and meeting in person are two different things. That's why I tried going to see her twice by trying to get a US visa and once trying to meet up in Italy. She's gonna come to India late december 2017 or ealy January 2018. As for my mom, I already told her several times I am not her kid anymore and I don't have to listen to her on who I am gonna marry. But being a conservative Indian woman she is incredibly racist towards whites and thinks that they are all the loose porn star type women or something. My mom separated from my dad when I was 17 because he was a serial cheater. I don't wanna go to him and try and get his approval because he used to hit her and he's an alcoholic. It would be pretty disrespectful to my mom. It's all a big sticky situation our case. Don't know what to do from here.

Quote

8 minutes ago, LionessDeon said:

http://www.visajourney.com/content/compare

 

As you have already realized your family's approval will be an issue that is best resolved before going onto the visa application process.  Only you and your fiance can determine what works best for your unique situation.  Nothing will give you 100% guarantee of an approval.    You will need strong relationship evidence.  And from the sounds of it alot more facetime.  Skype isn't going to do it.  You need in person visits.

 

 

[AnonIndia 58]

Quote

3 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

there was a recent post from India husband and i hope he responds as he wrote

" i walked into interview and the man said we know how to deal with people like you" because of the divorce

you are right and stongly i suggest you are able to prove to your mom this woman is right for you

why not have her come to India and allow them to meet?  works or does't but you will be asked if family approves of this relaitonship

ordinarily i would say marry but maybe K1 and financee visa as a marriage would be a burden if CO denies 

Were the couple denied the visa? Were they applying for CR1 or K1? We are hoping the Consular Officer would not deny us if we are already married even though our mom doesn't approve of us. I would love for my girl and my mom to get together but it seems impossible considering how much she despises western women. She absolutely went insane when I mentioned I was in a relationship with a Russian woman a few years before. 

 

[LionessDeon 2,060]

12 minutes ago, AnonIndia said:

I understand talking over video chat and meeting in person are two different things. That's why I tried going to see her twice by trying to get a US visa and once trying to meet up in Italy. She's gonna come to India late december 2017 or ealy January 2018. As for my mom, I already told her several times I am not her kid anymore and I don't have to listen to her on who I am gonna marry. But being a conservative Indian woman she is incredibly racist towards whites and thinks that they are all the loose porn star type women or something. My mom separated from my dad when I was 17 because he was a serial cheater. I don't wanna go to him and try and get his approval because he used to hit her and he's an alcoholic. It would be pretty disrespectful to my mom. It's all a big sticky situation our case. Don't know what to do from here.

 

It is imperative your fiance visits and consider more than one visit before filing.  I suggest you work on sharing your fiances good points, strengths, and reason why you love her with your mother.  Endear her to her.  If she learns good things about her she may come around.  Share her likes her interests, her hobbies with your mother.  Think of things they may possibly have in common.  I highly suggest you stress to your fiance to learn about Indian culture, Indian life and customs that will help endear her to your mother and not offend.  Maybe she already has done this but if not she should.  Forgot about bringing your Dad into this right now.  It doesn't sound like a good idea.  DO they skype?  If not, introduce them there.  Let your mother see how much you both care for each other.  Don't continue to repeat the "i'm grown I can do what I want".  That only pushes her away.  You've made your point now move onto helping them learn about each other.  

[AnonIndia 58]

1 minute ago, LionessDeon said:

It is imperative your fiance visits and consider more than one visit before filing.  I suggest you work on sharing your fiances good points, strengths, and reason why you love her with your mother.  Endear her to her.  If she learns good things about her she may come around.  Share her likes her interests, her hobbies with your mother.  Think of things they may possibly have in common.  I highly suggest you stress to your fiance to learn about Indian culture, Indian life and customs that will help endear her to your mother and not offend.  Maybe she already has done this but if not she should.  Forgot about bringing your Dad into this right now.  It doesn't sound like a good idea.  Do they skype?  If not, introduce them there.  Let your mother see how much you both care for each other.  Don't continue to repeat the "i'm grown I can do what I want".  That only pushes her away.  You've made your point now move onto helping them learn about each other.  

Yeah I am gonna try but I really hope my mom doesn't start yelling obscenities at her when she does Skype in an effort to wreck our relationship. Would really break my heart. I also have this huge extended family on my mom's side who are extremely judgmental and backwards thinking when it comes to interracial marriages and my mom is always obsessed with maintaining a good image with them. I have little hope she is gonna accept us but we gotta try. If she ultimately doesn't approve of us and doesn't support us being together, will it affect the Consular Officer's decision? Don't wanna get royally shafted at the interview. 

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Well if you think a skype meeting won't go well then don't do it.  It's probably way too soon anyway.  It is possible your mother is too set in her ways to change or accept.   This will take time.  I wish you the best!

[AnonIndia 58]

Thank you guys for the advice!