Husband left back to UK. Was waiting on greencard.

[Roel 7,191]

On a personal note, you two really should talk if you want to stay married. Not sure if I'd want to be with someone who leaves the country (!) Because of the fight. Married people fight now and then but this is totally overreacting. He could have just go to the motel for a night or something but he just left and basically wasted all the money you put in the k1 and aos.

[JFH 12,189]

I'm wondering if there was some homesickness at play here too. I can totally understand that. Many people think because us Brits are from an English-speaking country that we will be able to adjust with no problems. Many wrongly think the U.K. and the US are very similar but they are very different in more subtle ways than other countries are different. It can be very hard to settle here. I still can't quite put my finger on what is so different here but it's just different in a way I struggle to get along with. 

 

I was thinking he might have been homesick because he flew to the U.K. after an argument. If he had the money for a plane ticket, he had the money for a motel for a night or three. Is he perhaps depressed? I know I would be if I'd been here for months unable to work. It was work that kept me sane during the first few months because it is the same job as I had in the U.K. and it's comfortable and familiar. 

 

Have you considered moving to the U.K., OP? It will be much quicker than a CR-1 and it might be better for your husband. I see you are not far from me. We have a good bunch of British ex-pats in western Washington and we have a Facebook group for Brits living in the USA. It helps me a lot when I feel homesick. It's something he might want to consider too. 

[MacUK 983]

Not sure if it will have an effect but did you file for your adjustment before or after the 90 day allowance for the K-1?

 

Others more knowledgeable may have the answer but I wonder if it might affect his ability to even visit while he's gone.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I'm not sure the homesickness really justifies that kind of behavior.  I had immense difficulty when living in my husband's country, but I wouldn't have left without him.  If we were going to another country (Sweden, Norway, America), it would be together or not at all.    Spousal abandonment is a really bad trait and worrisome for the future when things might be more stressful.  

 

I also concur with some other posters that you will need a CR1 visa, but you can also spend time in England during the wait.  Depending on how long you are there, it might necessitate a co-sponsor for the I-864 and some proof of domicile.

[Boiler 43,433]

You moving to the UK would be much quicker.

[JFH 12,189]

1 hour ago, N-o-l-a said:

I'm not sure the homesickness really justifies that kind of behavior.  I had immense difficulty when living in my husband's country, but I wouldn't have left without him.  If we were going to another country (Sweden, Norway, America), it would be together or not at all.    Spousal abandonment is a really bad trait and worrisome for the future when things might be more stressful.  

 

I also concur with some other posters that you will need a CR1 visa, but you can also spend time in England during the wait.  Depending on how long you are there, it might necessitate a co-sponsor for the I-864 and some proof of domicile.

Oh I am certainly not trying to make excuses for him. It is a very serious issue here but I believe homesickness may have contributed to it, not been the sole reason or even the major reason. We don't know much of the background here. All we know it was a "fight". That's a catch-all term for anything from a disagreement over how much money one of them spent at the store to a physical altercation. Also we don't know how "established" the husband was in the U.K. and what he left behind. Maybe he left children behind? 

 

I left my first husband (another Brit) and one of the major factors was how his entire family, including cousins, aunts, etc refused to accept me and treated me with contempt because I am a different race to them. I'm not saying that happened here but we don't know what he left behind or what he walked into here. As usual, we only have one side of the story. I'm sure it wasn't a decision he took lightly. Especially as he likely had no job or home to go to in the U.K. 

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

24 minutes ago, JFH said:

Oh I am certainly not trying to make excuses for him. It is a very serious issue here but I believe homesickness may have contributed to it, not been the sole reason or even the major reason. We don't know much of the background here. All we know it was a "fight". That's a catch-all term for anything from a disagreement over how much money one of them spent at the store to a physical altercation. Also we don't know how "established" the husband was in the U.K. and what he left behind. Maybe he left children behind? 

 

I left my first husband (another Brit) and one of the major factors was how his entire family, including cousins, aunts, etc refused to accept me and treated me with contempt because I am a different race to them. I'm not saying that happened here but we don't know what he left behind or what he walked into here. As usual, we only have one side of the story. I'm sure it wasn't a decision he took lightly. Especially as he likely had no job or home to go to in the U.K. 

 

And none of it is relevant or our business, it is still inappropriate behavior for an adult married man, especially when there are likely to be immigration consequences.

[NYCruiser 423]

16 hours ago, MichaelAndAlicia said:

Yea, we got into a fight and he up and left on terrible impulse decision which he now regrets.

 

He had just gotten his work permit and we were waiting on the green card. The status on USCIS had already changed to "under review, ready to schedule interview"

 

Yea, I am shocked and seriously upset with him. Very hard pill to swallow after all of our hard K1 work.

 

Any ideas on what to do to get him back? Start all over with a K3? Do the CR1?

 

Will he even be able to come back?

 

jfc. I can't believe him. The first year of marriage is the hardest, I keep hearing.

 

I am willing to take him back since he is so upset about his decision as well. People do make mistakes. and HOPEFULLY learn from the consequences.

 

We realize it could be up to a year. Or never.

 

You mention you want to take him back because he is upset with HIS decision? Is that really a good reason to take someone back?

[NYCruiser 423]

16 hours ago, MichaelAndAlicia said:

no, we didn't do that part.

Why didnt you? Just curious again...it is free and part of the AOS should you want it? So basically he would not be able to work until the interview/receipt of the GC

[JFH 12,189]

42 minutes ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

And none of it is relevant or our business, it is still inappropriate behavior for an adult married man, especially when there are likely to be immigration consequences.

But by posting on a public forum you invite people into your business....

[geowrian 22,335]

3 hours ago, MacUK said:

Not sure if it will have an effect but did you file for your adjustment before or after the 90 day allowance for the K-1?

 

Others more knowledgeable may have the answer but I wonder if it might affect his ability to even visit while he's gone.

If somebody filed for AOS after their 90 days of legal status, then they would have accumulated unlawful presence. Unless it was 180 days or longer, there's no bar to waive.

However, the days of using an ESTA would be history...even 1 day of unlawful presence eliminates that path. Getting a tourist visa from a VWP country is not too simple, and the previous violation of status would be part of the consideration.

 

Edit: Getting a tourist visa (or using an ESTA) even if they filed within 90 days would be quite difficult since AOS was recently filed.....showing non-immigrant intent after that is very difficult.

Edited November 4, 2017 by geowrian

[mindthegap 2,521]

4 hours ago, Boiler said:

You moving to the UK would be much quicker.

Ironically, it would probably be quicker to move to the UK and file DCF and get that approved, than it would be waiting for a 'regular' CR-1 in the OPs current situation.

[caliliving 606]

Is a man that leaves and risks your time and money worth It? 

[ramesesthe2nd 149]

I know some times a little thing can turn into a big issue. I just filed for CR-1 last month for my wife and it didn't take very long to get NOA-1. I wanted to do K3 as soon as I get NOA-1, but she couldn't take a simple US passport compatible picture. I don't understand how a simple thing like taking a passport picture could be such a big issue, but everyone is different, so we just didn't do K3. 

 

I think the best way for you to sit down and discuss the situation and plan the best path forward for both of you. Sounds like CR-1/I-130 is the best path for you now.

 

I don't know why some people are putting this on 1 year to 1.5 years timeline for CR-1. From everything I have seen, it should take from 6 to 9 months. Marriage demands adjustments from both of you and a lot of patience. 9 months might sound like a long time, but remember you are going to spend the rest of your life together.

 

Good luck with everything. 

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

12 minutes ago, ramesesthe2nd said:

I know some times a little thing can turn into a big issue. I just filed for CR-1 last month for my wife and it didn't take very long to get NOA-1. I wanted to do K3 as soon as I get NOA-1, but she couldn't take a simple US passport compatible picture. I don't understand how a simple thing like taking a passport picture could be such a big issue, but everyone is different, so we just didn't do K3. 

 

I think the best way for you to sit down and discuss the situation and plan the best path forward for both of you. Sounds like CR-1/I-130 is the best path for you now.

 

I don't know why some people are putting this on 1 year to 1.5 years timeline for CR-1. From everything I have seen, it should take from 6 to 9 months. Marriage demands adjustments from both of you and a lot of patience. 9 months might sound like a long time, but remember you are going to spend the rest of your life together.

 

Good luck with everything. 

 

Current processing times are over a year.  That could shift as it often does (they were more like 5 months when I filed for some, but have frequently gone over a year over the course of the last decade).  K3s are almost never issued anymore.