Afford to travel

[Murph4865 597]

1 minute ago, cyberfx1024 said:

You have to set priorities as stated earlier. How much do you send a month if you don't mind me asking? What places are you at for tickets? Because if you buy a ticket in advance for a non holiday then it is considerably cheaper. What airport are you flying from?

I send about 150 per month to her and family and she send me picts of receipts and all that she has bought so i know she is not messing with me have been together almost 3 years now, i flew over there last year in november stayed for a month plus kept bills paid here.

[Boiler 43,427]

Split the load, take it in turns, if one sided then I can see it could be costly.

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

3 minutes ago, Murph4865 said:

I send about 150 per month to her and family and she send me picts of receipts and all that she has bought so i know she is not messing with me have been together almost 3 years now, i flew over there last year in november stayed for a month plus kept bills paid here.

You can try looking at Google Flights which I just did for pretty much the whole month of November from El Paso to Manila and back and the lowest prices I have found is $858 round trip. I know it is hard trust me I know it is hard, but we have to put money away for an entire year for the family to fly back to the Philippines. 

[JFH 12,189]

*~*~*moved from "K-1 fiance visa progress reports" to "off topic" - general discussion about costs of flights, where to look for deals, etc*~*~*

[Unlockable 7,306]

23 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Split the load, take it in turns, if one sided then I can see it could be costly.

Agree with this.

 

Seems like the OP is taking the financial load on everything. Can definitely cause a strain. Would assume there are gifts being bought over for every trip.

 

OP, look at tickets during off peak days (weekdays instead of weekends and non holidays). 

[WandY 430]

44 minutes ago, missileman said:

Priorities...

Exactly! I put off buying a new car and many other things that needed replaced. No stateside vacations. Work a lot. Save, save,save. I didn't have the cost of dating, so the money I saved on going out, etc. I used to see my fiancee. Also, I worked in a field that allowed me to work in Vietnam while visiting. An important thing is to get the best travel deals as possible. I watched the price of fuel and would buy air tickets based on trends, tips, etc. Traveling cheap is an art, but be prepared to sleep in airports, land at midnight, and be confident in your adventures. I've slept in a lot of airports and had to suffer multiple stops, but I love the thrill of the quest and saving a few hundred bucks is nice, too.

[Pat&Ana 14]

Prior planning?  

 

Usually planning ahead by 2+ weeks helps, and if you're buying a ticket with <2 weeks of notice, you're going to start to pay through the nose - be sure to use sites like Kayak.  The next big cost for many is the rental car - avoid.  Next then would be the hotel (use Trivago for the cheapest rates), I usually try to aim for something with free breakfast as that helps shave off a few bucks, plus it's motivation to actually get up and out of the room by 10AM even if you'd rather stay in and ... snuggle.

 

There are several "hubs" that can offer good choices in terms of destinations.  For example, my fiancee is based off of GOJ and flying into MOW can leave me options for DME or SVO airports.  Coming from the west coast, I can fly out of SJC, OAK or SFO (usually prefer SJC because of the shorter customs lines). 

 

That said, a big hurdle is the time it takes to fly literally around the world!  You're trading $$$ for time and nothing in aviation is cheap!

• SJC -> FRA -> MOW -> GOJ was about a 22 hour flight, running about $1300, with the hotel being $60/night.  No car needed due to it being a home town.  But cost more due to less than two weeks notice!
• SFO -> NRT -> SGN for a 14 hour flight cost $600, and the hotel room was $50/night!  Her cost was about $600.  No car needed and food is especially cheap so going out was great!
• SJC -> SJD runs me $455 but for her GOJ -> MOW -> HAV -> MEX -> SJD was $800+, and the room was $79/night.  No car for the 1st weekend, but got one for the second which cost about $50/day.  That's pricey just to make my flight ~2 hours.  She wound up with a 36 hour flight and horrible travel experience.  Not sure if I'd do this again! 
• SJC -> PVG was a straight shot at 12 hours, and cost me $572.  Hotel was $79/night but with her flight being GOJ -> MOW -> PVG was $800 and we both landed at the same time at our home airports.  No car needed due to the metro.
• SFO -> HEL -> MOW is about $735 with a 16 hour flight, and $80/night for the hotel.  The train cost is minor for her, but can be about $100 if she wants to fly.

So you have to play the options and remember that it may be easier to fly to an intermediate country, or an airport.  If you value time, there are going to be trade-offs between fiance and fiancee. 

 

Lessons learned:

• Meeting halfway can be a win if you're both able to travel to countries with easy entry requirements
• Visa requirements for US citizens can be easy in some locations (Mexico, Vietnam) and harder in others (Cuba, China) whereas the other person may have it easier
• Trading time for $$$ can be a factor, as can making one person travel longer to save the other time
• Hotels can vary, as can quality.  Especially in touristy areas, expect to pay $$$.  You can go somewhere away from the tourists and find even cheaper places!
• Exchange rates help, as can the price of your destination.  USD to VN is $1 to 22,700.  Some places take USD and you won't have to convert (e.g. SJD at 20 or 17 to 1)
• Food can reduce costs, as an example a bowl of Pho in Saigon costs 39,000 and dinner cost us 78,000 - very inexpensive!
• If you think you're going to a far away land that's exotic and going to "eat in", you won't.  SJD simply offered too many good options.
• Cars ... you really don't need them.  But Uber / Lyft isn't available everywhere!
• The longer the flight and more connections, the greater the chance for missing luggage (or items simply walking away!)
• Stringing together legs or multiple-one-way tickets used to work, but these days of "hacker fares" which do it for you make it easier to simply ignore this
• Flights to a smaller city (e.g. MOW to GOJ) can be ignored when searching because they do limit results and increase prices
• Don't forget trains!  They can serve as great connectors for large metropolitan airports to smaller cities.
• A foreigner may not be able to transit through the US without a 'transit visa' so be very careful on this one! 
• Flying out on a Thursday seems to offer the best rates, and coming back on a Tuesday.  But check Wed to Mon as you can get some nice combinations.

Airports:

• SJC = San Jose (USA)
• SFO = San Francisco (USA)
• FRA = Frankfurt (Germany)
• MOW = Moscow (Russia)
• GOJ = Nizhny (Russia)
• NRT = Tokyo (Japan)
• SGN = Saigon (Vietnam)
• PVG = Shanghai (China)
• SJD = Cabo San Lucas (Mexico)
• HEL = Helsinki (Finland)

 

Edited September 7, 2017 by Pat&Ana

[TBoneTX 43,045]

I feel very fortunate that my flights to Ecu were ~$600 round-trip, took under 5.5 hours, and were nonstop or one stop at most.

There was also only a 1-hour time difference at most, and that for only half the year.

I could not have handled flying to the Far East or to Russia.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

On ‎9‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 7:38 PM, Murph4865 said:

I have priorities set to make good living and provide for her i send every month so family can survive but i also provide for AMERICA also by delivering food nation wide. Some of us was not born with a silver spoon in our mouths and live chech to check cause emergencies comes up and wipes out what is saved.

Most people are not born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  Many live check to check.  Unfortuantely, some make more than others and can afford to travel more often.  There's nothing you can do about that, you make what you make and have to work around it.  Life's not fair.  But people sacrifice on non-essential items, and live very frugally to be able to afford more trips.  And your trip is a rough one, I don't think that I could do it very often.  My girlfriend lived only 4.5 hours from me and there was a nonstop flight and a 1-stop with short layover, so from 2006 to 2008, I visited her 33 or 34 times, so pretty much monthly.

 

I don't want to open a new can of worms but how do you feel about your girlfriend (and her family?) being dependant on you to survive?  They somehow survived before you, didn't they?  That would make me suspicious and cautious.  Regardless whether YOUR money goes towards actual bills, it would make question this woman's independence.  I wouldn't want to have people completely dependent on me to survive because like you have emergnecies every now and then, they will have them too and more often than you expect.  And guess who is paying...   Also, once she comes to the US, are you going to keep sending money on a regular basis?  This is often an issue that often leads to fights, I sugest you discuss it and come to an agreement before she comes here.

 

Edited September 15, 2017 by Eric-Pris

[MrHanky 1,377]

20 minutes ago, Eric-Pris said:

Most people are not born with a silver spoon in their mouth.  Many live check to check.  Unfortuantely, some make more than others and can afford to travel more often.  There's nothing you can do about that, you make what you make and have to work around it.  Life's not fair.  But people sacrifice on non-essential items, and live very frugally to be able to afford more trips.  And your trip is a rough one, I don't think that I could do it very often.  My girlfriend lived only 4.5 hours from me and there was a nonstop flight and a 1-stop with short layover, so from 2006 to 2008, I visited her 33 or 34 times, so pretty much monthly.

 

I don't want to open a new can of worms but how do you feel about your girlfriend (and her family?) being dependant on you to survive?  They somehow survived before you, didn't they?  That would make me suspicious and cautious.  Regardless whether YOUR money goes towards actual bills, it would make question this woman's independence.  I wouldn't want to have people completely dependent on me to survive because like you have emergnecies every now and then, they will have them too and more often than you expect.  And guess who is paying...   Also, once she comes to the US, are you going to keep sending money on a regular basis?  This is often an issue that often leads to fights, I sugest you discuss it and come to an agreement before she comes here.

 

that's definitely something to think about, I help my wife out now cause she's not working, but her family is not poor so I don't have to help them out, and I also probably spend on things that aren't a necessity but are for enjoyment and I include her in that.

Long term it won't be this way she'll contribute once she's up and running in the states but I also told her I don't expect her to be sending money back.

 

Its something that can be hard to understand from both sides as growing up poor I can definitely understand wanting to help out and now that you're leaving your family thats one less person that was maybe playing an important role.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

My issue with sending money back is basically to ask how did they survive before me; or how they would survive if I wasn't around?  To me that raises serious questions/suspicions that I'm being played.  They somehow survived before, but now the daughter meets an American (and everybody knows we all have money trees in our back yards  ) and magically they can no longer survive without a monthly payment.

 

I have no problem helping occasionally (that's a relative term, but to me it's maybe twice per year) but I told my girlfriend very clearly that we weren't going to be sending money back on a regular basis.  We work our butts off here so they don't have to there?  I don't think so.

[TBoneTX 43,045]

Had Mrs.-T-B.-to-be hit me up for money for herself or her family, our relationship would have ended rapidly.

 

Had Mrs. T-B. (once here) started sending our money, her shapely hindquarters would have been on the next conveyance back to Ecu.

[Murph4865 597]

4 hours ago, Eric-Pris said:

My issue with sending money back is basically to ask how did they survive before me; or how they would survive if I wasn't around?  To me that raises serious questions/suspicions that I'm being played.  They somehow survived before, but now the daughter meets an American (and everybody knows we all have money trees in our back yards  ) and magically they can no longer survive without a monthly payment.

 

I have no problem helping occasionally (that's a relative term, but to me it's maybe twice per year) but I told my girlfriend very clearly that we weren't going to be sending money back on a regular basis.  We work our butts off here so they don't have to there?  I don't think so.

She has never asked me for money for anything at all not even for food to survive or for personal items what so ever i send out of the goodness of my heart cause there are little kids involved which i will not let starve just the type of person i have always been to me that makes me look good in his eyes above. She does not work like most over seas her mom works to barely get by for what she brings in to help keep some food on table.

[Unlockable 7,306]

You can do a search on hear and find many cases of money issues. Philippines is common. Tip: you you go to Advanced Search at the top of the page and type in "Sending Money" you will find similar stories. Be sure to use quotation marks.

 

There were some good points that were addressed. This person and her family was surviving before you. And will guarantee to survive if you were not there for them in the future. Nothing wrong with being generous. The issue is now it has put you in a burden. You never heard the story of the man waling to the market to buy bread and along the way he encounter numerous people who needed help and by the time he got to the market he didn't have enough to  buy the bread?

 

If she has never asked you for anything, then she will understand that things are getting tight and you need to reduce the amount you send or stop sending for a while. The K1 visa is an expensive process. Not only now but AFTER she arrives to the US and you get married you will spend over $1,000 just so she can become a permanent resident. She has kids also? You have to pay for them too. AND, you may still be expected to send money back to her family back home even after she and the kids are here.

 

This is really something to mull over. Again, use the search and go to the Philippines section of the board and read about others who go through the same ordeal.

 

P.S. One thing to add. How do you know you are the only person sending her money? We have seen cases like this before. In my wife's country they call them Western Union chicas. The have multiple suitors sending little money at a time. 

[dentsflogged 352]

On the original topic of affording to travel - for me, I find that it's easy to plan as far in advance as possible so I can keep checking flight prices and book when they're as low as possible.

 

 It also helps if you check regularly (I recommend using a private browsing window and clearing your cookies/history regularly because if the airline website realises that the same search is happening all the time from the same place, the flights will go up) so you get an idea of the 'cycle' that prices go through - I've found that Australia to USA flights tend to be cheapest if booked on a Tuesday to fly either Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.  

 

Weekends are the most expensive to both book and fly.

 

Holidays if not booked in advance are very expensive and sometimes hard to get flights for (that includes holidays in the destination country, not just your own) - for example, I'm flying into the US 2 days before Thanksgiving and leaving 2 days after New Years - my domestic flights are costing almost double compared to when I visited last because of the major holidays close to my travel dates. 

Before I left the US last, I made plans with my partner for my next visit (left in June, heading back November) - and as soon as I was back to work, I was back to saving for my next round of flights (my partner only gets 2 weeks of leave per year from his job whereas I get up to 8 weeks paid and another 4 weeks unpaid per year with prior approval, so it's easier for me to go over there). 

 

Best ways (for me, personally) to save money to afford that? 

• Pre-plan my meals and bulk cook - I've got my grocery bill down to around $50/week this way. It can get boring, but I freeze things in 'meal' sized containers so I get a bit of variety as long as I remember to mix them up going into the freezer. 
• Walk or ride my bike as much as possible rather than drive, which saves money on gas. 
• It's winter here, so rather than running a heater, I layer up while at home and wear long pants/sweater and use a blanket to save on electricty costs.
• Have friends over for dinner/movie nights rather than go out (though I still do go out from time to time)
• Give myself some "fun" money and budget how I'm going to spend it - normally it's $50 per pay (I get paid every 2 weeks) so I may decide to put it towards dinner/movie/drinks with friends, or to put towards a hobby or something - either buying a new video game or getting materials for my craft hobbies (I knit and do needlepoint) so I don't feel like I'm missing out.
• Starting to de-clutter my place by selling things that I haven't used for a long time.  In my case this means my sewing machine (I haven't used it in over 3 years), kitchen appliances, old clothes (there's a thriving second-hand market for an Australian-made brand that I wear a lot of), various bits and pieces (graphic novels I read once and don't want anymore, DVDs that I now have digital downloads of or that I can stream online, CDs I have on my computer but don't physically listen to anymore, electronics like my sound system which I never even set up after I moved from my old house and so on)
• I cancelled my gym membership and just run or ride my bike for exercise now.
• Called my phone and internet provider and threatened to cancel so they gave me a discount. I also turned off mobile data for many applications on my phone so that I could change the amount of data I needed per month (my cell phone company charges per GB of mobile data)
• Took note of what I was actually watching and cancelled the streaming services I wasn't using - same with music services (really who needs Apple Music and Spotify?)
• Stopped my monthly charity donations BUT I have instead started volunteering twice a month at a local animal shelter so I still get my "I've done something good" feeling but have that extra money in my pocket.
• Rather than birthday/christmas gifts for my friends, I instead make or bake them something - eg: I knitted my best friend a matching hat/scarf in her favourite colour, and my brother got a fancy birthday cake in his favourite flavours (while these both cost a little, they are significantly cheaper than if I'd spent the regular amount I would on purchasing gifts)
• Shopped around with insurance for my car and home/contents -  I saved $30 per month by changing to a different company. 
• If travelling within my country (as I had to until recently since my dad was in hospital a lot in my hometown) I compared prices and found that it was cheaper to drive there (8 hours) than fly (1.5 hours) because of the additional costs for parking at the airport, car hire and the like. I always used to fly because it was easier, but now I'm more thoughtful about where the $$ is going.
• I also downloaded an app into which I put every.single.thing I spent money on - even if it was $2 for some mints - so that it would show where my money was going every month.  It's amazing how much more I think about how I spend my money now, because at the time "just" $2 for mints or $5 for coffee seems like nothing at the time until I realise that over a month that could be $50! 

 

YMMV on any/all of the above suggestions, but they're things that help me.  I booked my next lot of flights on my birthday (happy birthday to us!) 6 weeks after I got home from my last trip and I'm 9 (or hopefully 7 if they approve my request for extra time off!) weeks away from being back with my partner for a blissful 6 (or hopefully 8!!) weeks. 

 

Edited September 17, 2017 by dentsflogged