Wife has decided to leave

[Sagot 1,548]

10 hours ago, K1_Journey said:

Maybe if they work in Manila NCR and have a college education and high paying job they can earn P10k+, most that work regular near minimum wage jobs or work in the province only earn P5000 to P6000 ($100-120) per month. My ex gf in Cebu worked several years at JD Micro Credit in Carcar Cebu and they never increased her salary above P5200 ($104) per month, I remember at one point she wanted to move to Cebu City because she had a call center job offer for P5800 ($116), this was between 2010 to 2013. Even my wifes sister working in Manila as a mall security officer only earns around P8500 ($170) per month.

 

While we were processing my wifes K1 visa last summer, my wife felt bad that I was footing all the visa expenses plus supporting her and her kids and mom, she wanted to get a job to help pay the expenses and asked my permission to accept a job offer for P4000 per month as a bar waitress. I laughed and said "lol Uhhmm NO you are forbidden from accepting that job! I will NOT allow my wife to work in a bar being flirted and grabbed by male patrons and coworkers for a lousy $80 per month, especially when i can earn that much in 4 hours on my job here in the US without any groping". I assured her even though I do not have a high paying job here in the US, I do earn more than enough to support all of our financial expenses.

I agree.. 

 

Even the tradesmen around here are getting P500 a day when we hire them to do work, the helper gets half that.

[MarkPerry 488]

17 hours ago, K1_Journey said:

My ex gf in Cebu worked several years at JD Micro Credit in Carcar Cebu

When you were in Carcar did you ever to a resto called Sam's Campfire Grill.  They served American food like meatloaf and mashed potatoes, Burgers, etc.  If you were walking to the bus station and market down in the area there was a huge circle road and his place was on the left.

 

I had heard he died, I was looking for confirmation.  My running partner from CarCar has left the country

[Cyberfx1024 7,978]

On 1/5/2017 at 8:01 AM, K1_Journey said:

We started dating a few weeks after I broke up with the Cebuano, and she is now my wife. My wife is from the opposite end of the country, from Ilocos Sur province in far northern Philippines, near Vigan City. Neither of the girls ever asked me to send money to support them or their families, but when my wife quit her job in Hong Kong in order to move back home to Philippines to process our K1 visa, I was obligated to support her and the kids and mom with slightly more than the amount she was sending home to support them while she was working on Hong Kong.

My wife never asked me to send money either when she moved back to Davao from Qatar. We just talked about it and I told her if she wanted to move back so we can  spend more time together then that's great but I will support you while we are doing this process. What made me laugh even until this day is my x-wife whom I divorced and she was really unhappy with the divorce because she wanted to stay married to me and keep the benefits. When I would call to talk to our children she would say that my fiance now wife doesn't love me and only wants the money and green card. What my x didn't know was that my wife turned down a marriage proposal from her x-bf who is pretty rich and owns several banana plantations in Davao. 

 

But anyway OP how is everything going so far, have you talked to her?

[j N j 50]

3 hours ago, cyberfx1024 said:

My wife never asked me to send money either when she moved back to Davao from Qatar.  

 

But anyway OP how is everything going so far, have you talked to her?

Me and mine just talked about this this morning, she hasnt asked for $$, but I told her I will help her the best I can while shes back home..

 

I hope the OP is doing well, but I also feel the best way for him to handle it, is by staying clear from her..

[MarkPerry 488]

I have meet a few guys while traveling around in Philippines who get marry and leave their wife in Philippines. I usually meet then on domestic flight in Philippines or at a resort area in Philippines.  I used to think it was strange to get married and not bring your wife to USA. 

 

After seeing so many couple have issues over the years, Maybe these guys were smarter than I thought.  

[valkyriex 194]

I have to comment to tell you that not all Filipinas are like this. I myself is a Filipina based in Singapore and I never asked any $ from my fiance. Not a single $. Unfortunately you have got yourself a bad apple. If she's not even willing to talk it out properly give her the taste of her own medicine. Shes the one who needs you and it's so selfish of her to even think of her holiday than sorting out the bigger issue between the two of you. In the end bro all the advises here are just thoughts for you to ponder. In the end you need to weigh things on your own. If a person doesn't make you her priority, you have to reevaluate your love for her. Clearly here she loved you for something else. You deserve someone better. Godbless bro ?

[j N j 50]

3 hours ago, Vallcism said:

 In the end bro all the advises here are just thoughts for you to ponder. In the end you need to weigh things on your own. If a person doesn't make you her priority, you have to reevaluate your love for her. Clearly here she loved you for something else. You deserve someone better. Godbless bro ?

^^ this^^ excellent response Vallcism!!

[minions2 24]

By all means, dont open up a joint bank account, she would have unlimited access to your money to Send them. You're going to be there Remitly, xoom, western union

[j N j 50]

10 minutes ago, minions2 said:

By all means, dont open up a joint bank account, she would have unlimited access to your money to Send them. You're going to be there Remitly, xoom, western union

as well as start changing any passwords for online accounts you might have..

[Balamban 113]

On 1/3/2017 at 0:10 PM, nohairleft said:

My wife was the opposite she was happy when we first discussed it - agreed around $300 per month but things started creeping in - birthdays / someone is sick (which I didnt mind as it was a kid and I paid).

 

I found her a housing development which I told her should could apply for and pay less for me in bills around the house. So our discussion about children and future goals I said she would need to reduce her payments to the Philippines as I think with the house and monthly allowance it would end up being $750. Her brother actually works in a western country but has debts to pay first before he can contribute. I know the obligation of Filipinos to there family thats why we discussed it at the start but there is also obligations to your better half.

 

As I said my patience is running thin because I'm thinking they are spending the money and then just asking for more.

Methinks your patience should have run out long ago.

 

She wants $750/month, that's 36,750P/month.  Search: "Salary Survey in Philippines in Health and Medical" and you'll see that a RN averages 14,000Php/month and a MD averages 23,000Php/month.  So she's expecting you to give her 1.5 what a licensed doctor earns?  Greed brother...greed. 

 

It's good you aren't a sheep, she wouldn't stop at the fleece... she'd skin you.

 

A suggestion: When someone is sick, pay the clinic directly.  Else, soon there may well be a cascade of illnesses... 

 

[Balamban 113]

On 1/7/2017 at 4:42 AM, MarkPerry said:

I have meet a few guys while traveling around in Philippines who get marry and leave their wife in Philippines. I usually meet then on domestic flight in Philippines or at a resort area in Philippines.  I used to think it was strange to get married and not bring your wife to USA. 

 

After seeing so many couple have issues over the years, Maybe these guys were smarter than I thought.  

Once visiting a friend in Carcar we walked past a house where there was a Filipina and an Australian sitting in the front.  We stopped and chatted, nice couple.

 

Walking away my friend said: "He goes back to Oz pretty often and her boyfriend moves in the same day."

 

But then maybe those guys understand how it can work and don't mind.  That sort of life is not for me though, but to each his own.

[Sagot 1,548]

And that is why one must be totally aware of the red flags and not ignore them ...

[Greenbaum 12,258]

If something is a miss in a relationship, like Sagot stated RED FLAGS that should not be ignored.