My wife came here on a K1 visa and got mad and demanded divorce she left and now realizes that she made a mistake

[Ash.1101 1,755]

I disagree that someone does not go off mental illness meds if they work, in clarity many are embarrassed on their dependency. I know 3-4 people that are bi-polar and well controlled on medication but each has chosen at various points to forego their medication. It will require you to be in a constant state of vigilance to ensure she continues to take her medicines, are you ready for that level of commitment?

I guess for me, one of the first things that we talked about while dating where mental illnesses. I was diagnosed with ADHD and OCD when I was 8, on medication from about 8 until 21. It's controlled for the most part without medication, but I didn't hide either the fact I had those diagnosis or that I was on some pretty heavy medications. He's seen me have break downs over what most people would consider the most insignificant stuff (I.E. When IS the right time to clean the house? In what order should X,Y,Z REALLY be done?!) Everythings very minor and eventually, with a lot of me accepting I can't let my brain win, I just let him do things the way he wants to do because I'm stronger than losing my mind over which parts of the living room is he about to vaccum first. I think it's MASSIVELY important to be upfront and honest with the person you plan on marry or are married too about your mental health.

As you said, some people aren't able to have that kind of commitment as in taking care of a spouse to make sure they take care of their own health. In that case, it would be awful for someone to marry another and then drop a bombshell like "You're going to have to make sure I stay on my meds", and just expect them to willingly stay without question. Love is love, but some people can love someone and not be able to handle being a minor caretaker. That stress alone could push them a part.

I've always been around a pretty open and accepting group of people when it comes to mental illness or disorder though. I have friends who openly talk about the times they attempted suicide and how they over came those thoughts along with how they managed their disorders. Just openly, not because they want to throw their business out there, but because if people in general don't understand how these disorders affect our loved ones, we'll never be able too, as a people, help those in need when they need it.

For me, if I can have friends that open about their issues, I'd personally want a husband or wife to be that honest about issues. Embarrassment is one thing, going off your meds, getting married, divorcing, leaving the country, and then wanting to come back as if it's no big deal is another.

Edited October 13, 2016 by Ash.1101

[Jon&Margz 132]

When the fine line between happy and crazy becomes a jump rope... be very careful. Unless you fully understand and have experience with others dealing with Bipolar - you likely will continue to struggle with this relationship. You can't help someone who refuses to help themselves (not taking meds).

Good luck

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

OP has finalized the divorce before the ex went back home.

So both are considered Single now.

They WERE married. They got a divorce and are no longer married. They were only married for 9 months before the divorce was finalized and his ex-wife left the country, They are 100% divorced.

Therefore, the only options are K-1 visa to get married AGAIN, or get married AGAIN and go spousal.

Sorry, never read that part. Was that on this thread or another one?

[gregcrs2 1,777]

Once wasn't enough for you?

[perla&austin 7]

I'd say move on... you need some thinking to do, she lied to you and throughout the whole process, since she needed to provide her medical history and medication needed...

[Ryanthedriver 0]

I simply Love her. we dated long distance for a year and I took two trips to see her and then we worked through the K1 process only for her to land here and begin being crazy and unable to accept that she was being irrational. She hasnt discussed coming back but I know she is miserable back home and I wanted to see if anyone knew anything about a situation like this.

[sharkfin07 16]

i would say you are very lucky to have been divorced by her. please be grateful for it. living with a bipolar is like walking on eggshells.

i have had the experience of dealing with bipolars. they can be very charming, loving one time but can suddenly and without reason become mean and paranoid.

for your own sanity and well-being, please have nothing to do with the type , again. it's mental illness that will always be there. it does not get cured. the symptoms are just minimized or controlled by the meds. but it is still there. in fact, her anger , leaving you and then changing her mind are but examples of her seesawing, volatile emotion. .

[Rc123rc 528]

i would say you are very lucky to have been divorced by her. please be grateful for it. living with a bipolar is like walking on eggshells.

i have had the experience of dealing with bipolars. they can be very charming, loving one time but can suddenly and without reason become mean and paranoid.

for your own sanity and well-being, please have nothing to do with the type , again. it's mental illness that will always be there. it does not get cured. the symptoms are just minimized or controlled by the meds. but it is still there. in fact, her anger , leaving you and then changing her mind are but examples of her seesawing, volatile emotion. .

Please listen to those that have had experience. We know that you love her. You got married right? But, as painful as it may seem, there are times to walk away. You are divorced. You cut the ties already. That was the hard part. Now you just have to cut the rest.

[perla&austin 7]

Sometimes is just hard to let things go, but you've said it yourself... she hasn't discussed coming back... because maybe she doesn't want to?, sometimes we think it's our responsibility to look after people we love, but you can't change who they are and how they feel, you can't rescue her , maybe she needs to stay where she is, and if you do decide you love her that much , and mostly, she wants to try it again (which she hasn't discussed it) then... you could consider trying again but where she is... do not force it, and do not force her to come back if she already decided to leave.

Good luck and stay strong!

[JR loves JR 196]

Did you file for AOS? Did any of it get approved (like AP or the actual green card)? Is it still pending or did you withdraw it? If it got approved, she just needs the greencard in hand to come back. The next process might be complicated due to the divorce but you wouldn't have to start over. If she was here for 9 months and didn't adjust status than she overstayed her visa. I'm not very familiar with bans, but wouldn't she have a three year ban for overstaying more than 180 days? You'd have to consider adding a waiver to the complications of your case. If she does have a ban, I'd hold off on marriage until closer to the end of the ban. It will give you a better understanding of if you can live with her illness.

[Ryanthedriver 0]

We did file for change of status she had received her work permit and we were waiting on the rest of it.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

i would say you are very lucky to have been divorced by her. please be grateful for it. living with a bipolar is like walking on eggshells.

i have had the experience of dealing with bipolars. they can be very charming, loving one time but can suddenly and without reason become mean and paranoid.

for your own sanity and well-being, please have nothing to do with the type , again. it's mental illness that will always be there. it does not get cured. the symptoms are just minimized or controlled by the meds. but it is still there. in fact, her anger , leaving you and then changing her mind are but examples of her seesawing, volatile emotion. .

So I guess us bipolar individuals should just give up on love and happiness huh?

[Ryanthedriver 0]

Never give up. I still love this girl and always will I just had to do what she wanted. I simply want to see our options now. I will move to her country if I have to.

[Ash.1101 1,755]

Never give up. I still love this girl and always will I just had to do what she wanted. I simply want to see our options now. I will move to her country if I have to.

Your options have been told to you.

Do another K-1 visa process and get married that way and then AOS.

OR

Get married and apply for spousal visa.

BUT, be prepared to be scrutinized potentially at both the medical and the interview.

OR

third choice, if you are willing to do it. Date for longer than a year again, and don't let love blind you to little details.

Those are your choices.

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

So I guess us bipolar individuals should just give up on love and happiness huh?

Not at all you just need a partner that is equipped to deal with the mood swings, not all people can