Spousal Issues

[EM_Vandaveer 2,364]

Dmck you are wrong in all levels, there is no "kidnapping"!in his story.

Yes he can file for a restraining order against her.

I believe Dmck meant restraining physically, as in holding down, etc.

[Pitchman 8]

I second the comment on DO NOT FILE FOR THE I - 864 AOS - DO NOT!

[Rc123rc 528]

I second the comment on DO NOT FILE FOR THE I - 864 AOS - DO NOT!

From the story and this may be part of the problem. The OP is flat broke and and has been for a while and can't file I-184 or anything because there is no money for the fees.

[Pitchman 8]

From the story and this may be part of the problem. The OP is flat broke and and has been for a while and can't file I-184 or anything because there is no money for the fees.

I understand, Both parties should get educated fast as this is a difficult and complex situation.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I thought the PI didn't allow co-sponsors. How did this woman even get here?

Edited September 19, 2016 by Harpa Timsah

[Rc123rc 528]

I thought the PI didn't allow co-sponsors. How did this woman even get here?

I was thinking the same thing when I reread the thread.

This caught my eye.

"No, I can not afford any help. I will empty what is left in my 401k (had to use since 2011 layoff, near empty now) to buy her a ticket and fly her home. Other than that, I can not even buy food for the week. So, no, can not afford one."

So, he's been laid off since 2011 and living off of his 401(k)?

Edited September 19, 2016 by rcripps

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

I remember too.

They sure are. ..

Kind of odd how the OP says he wants wife to work and that it's the SSA's fault... well she can't work anyway because AOS was never filed. She is currently out of status in this country, with no legal ability to work or live or do anything, iirc she hadn't at once point even got her name on the lease or mailbox, and I'm not even sure at this point if she has access to health insurance.

OP if you have reached multiple points where you feel it's prudent to place your hands on your wife and 'restrain' her, it is not a responsibility of a husband to do. If you feel she has assaulted you, or your kids, then it is a matter for the police, and instead of involving yourself in the situation where you are now, the police should have been called. If her family told her she would be unhappy with you, and she does believe she is unhappy, and neither one of you wish to take steps to sort out the marriage and get her legal - then dissolve the marriage and send her home where she belongs and where she is safe and happy and where you can get yourself into a better situation. Send her home. Seek an attorney, get divorced, and move on. Your responsibility is to your kids as a father and to yourself.

I really wanted to to point out the AOS thing but it's something I have warned OP about in many of his previous threads after he mentioned his finacial situation was incredibly tight.

OP, I'm not sure if you understands that it's NOT just the SSN and a car that your wife is waiting on for work as you seem to imply in the first post of this thread. If you are unwilling/unable to fill out the I-864 that goes along with her AOS/AP/EAD then you are in a way preventing her from working.

I'm not saying that this excuses her behavior towards you, but you since you seemed very intent on making sure the right side of the story is told, you should really keep that in mind.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

I thought the PI didn't allow co-sponsors. How did this woman even get here?

I'm wondering the same thing. And how does somebody expect to support another person and kids if they can't afford a measly $1000 for AOS? This happens a lot and I have always said that the income requirements for immigration are ridiculously low. Lack of money leads to stress, leads to fights, leads to divorces.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

One can still meet the I-864 requirements yet has zero money in bank account for AOS fees.

Basically living from paycheck to paycheck.

Oh, I wonder in this other thread if OP managed to find his 'mentally ill' wife back or not.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/609112-no-time-limit-on-waiting-to-file-for-aos-split-topic-merged-threads

=> USC failed to file AOS for his wife after 6 years.

[Rc123rc 528]

I'm wondering the same thing. And how does somebody expect to support another person and kids if they can't afford a measly $1000 for AOS? This happens a lot and I have always said that the income requirements for immigration are ridiculously low. Lack of money leads to stress, leads to fights, leads to divorces.

That is certainly a topic for debate. How many divorces happen over argument after argument concerning finances. I've cringed many times when I see people post about how broke they are and scrambling for a co-sponsor and I'm thinking to myself. "You're trying to bring someone into the U.S. and start a life together and you're flat broke and your income potential is not looking too good and you're probably depending on that person to help you out." Love is great but common sense has to kick in somewhere.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I thought the PI didn't allow co-sponsors. How did this woman even get here?

Word around VJ is that they haven't even been asking to see the I-134s at the interview.

To any other intending immigrants who are reading this: get a CR1 visa. So what if it takes longer, you will not be trapped in your home unable to work or travel if something goes wrong with finances or your spouse.

To OP: You did her wrong by bringing her here when you clearly couldn't afford to. You are treating her like some sort of war bounty to be kept in your home with your discretion as to when she finally gets to earn her freedom. She is angry and she's the type that gets violent when angry according to you. Let her go home - buy her a ticket, get a civil protection order to keep her out of your house, and please don't bring another spouse to America if you can't afford AOS and ROC. Just don't do it.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

My apologies ...

[Sandra G. 5,006]

Theresistance you need to seek some therapy asap.You are excusing her abusive behavior saying things such as " It is hard to just stop. She does not want to be without me, but she does not want to be near the kids", "...If I divorce her, I am destroying her life and everything she gave up". Please, man, raise the bar high for yourself.

You got married to a selfish /abusive person. She has ZERO love for you.Do you think to slap someone means "love" ? throw things on you means "love? yell at you means "love"?.

Your #### wife has her moral compass broken. If you decide not to respect yourself,at least respect and protect your children.

Edited September 19, 2016 by sandranj

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I appreciate what you all saying. I do not deny I live her. It is hard to just stop. She does not want to be without me, but she does not want to be near the kids. My ex will take away the kids from me as she does not want them all mingling again. I am conflicted and tired and confused. My wife says she wants me to just be happy, even if it means divorce. If I divorce her, I am destroying her life and everything she gave up. If I end up keeping her, she and the kids can never be together. And still, she could explode into another rage. I can take a slap physically easily. I am built. What I could not take was the emotions that hit me. I am the only one to make the ultimate decision, and I will not lose my kids. Guess I made up my mind? I have to destroy the rest of her life, as she helped destroy this marriage? I am never, ever going to get involved with people again if this is the case. This is not what God intended for us to do.But my kid's safety, them not being around when she has a rage like that, is my priority.

You are not destroying her life. Her actions are a choice. There are consequences for her actions. She is destroying her life

by suffering the consequences of her choices. That is life.

You are protecting yourself and your children. It's that simple.

[USAMorocco 143]

You are worried about destroying her life? Think about your kids that are in the house with this woman. I would have her bags packed for her and a ride to the airport with a ticket ready to go.