weddings

[sereia 0]

the visa process seems to be running fast for me.... but even if we get approved in the next month or so, my fiance can't come to the us until august. but it will still be amazing to know he has his visa in hand. what a relief that will be!!!

so. that brings me to the wedding planning aspect of it. my parents are finally coming to accept that marrying him is going to happen. my mom suggests that i wait to plan our wedding until he's been here a while. to make absolute sure this is something i want to do. i'm sure she secretly hopes it won't work out and i send him home. but thats another topic of discussion.

i definitely plan to have the courthouse marriage once he gets here...and plan my celebration for another time. preferrably for next spring. but i can't decide if i should plan it NOW for next year, or listen to my mom and wait until he's been here a while.

-for those of you who already have your husband/wife here and had a big wedding.... did you wait a while after they were in the us before you planned the big celebration? or did you plan it as soon as you knew they had their visa?

[Autumnchik 6]

Honestly, I started planning after he proposed to me .... WAY before we started this immigration process. What can I say, I was clueless when it came to the USCIS!!! One of our major reasons for beginning planning so early was that it is very important to him that his sister attend, and she runs a guesthouse and restaurant. Summer is her busiest season, so we planned our date around her schedule and decided to book the church and reception early to insure it was available.

We did the civil ceremony a few days after he arrived.

Some of it, I think, would depend on where you want to marry and what season. I am getting married in CT. I learned when I started calling places that late spring/early summer was incredibly busy and some places were booked a year in advance. Other areas, it might not be as necessary to book a place early. Depends on what kind of ceremony you want and where.

Do you want your fiance to play a role in deciding that? Going to view places with you, etc? If that is important to you, you might wait until he gets here to really start the planning. Also, I wouldn't really do a lot of planning / scheduling until he actually has the visa in hand. We had planned our April wedding and then had a big scare in January, thinking that he may not get the visa then!!!! Too dang frightening!!!

[sereia 0]

well ...i've been planning my wedding my whole life. its something i've always wanted to do. i'm one of those girls who's collected bride magazines ever since i can remember, cutting out favorites, and keeping them in a folder. i know... i guess this could go under my "fess up" reply.

but now that i'm marrying a man from morocco things are going to change. i want to incorporate his culture into the wedding with mine so things i had dreamt of are going to be different now. i plan to hire a wedding coordinator to help me with all this. i don't want a winter wedding because everyone in my family has a birthday in the winter (including now my fiance!) plus all the holidays! i want to spread out at least one event in an odd month. haha i also want my wedding to be in southern california so i think next spring would be a good time.

honestly, i don't necessarily want my fiance to play a huge role in planning the wedding. its mostly something for ME and my family/friends since, unfortunately, none of his family will likely be able to attend. we will probably have a second wedding (technically third if you count the courthouse) in morocco where he and his family will plan that whole event.

so confusing!!! i just want everything to be beautiful and planned well in advance so i don't miss out on things i could have had if i planned earlier. but is my mom right by saying to wait??

Edited March 9, 2007 by abdounjen

[Alex+R 0]

well ...i've been planning my wedding my whole life. its something i've always wanted to do. i'm one of those girls who's collected bride magazines ever since i can remember, cutting out favorites, and keeping them in a folder. i know... i guess this could go under my "fess up" reply.

but now that i'm marrying a man from morocco things are going to change. i want to incorporate his culture into the wedding with mine so things i had dreamt of are going to be different now. i plan to hire a wedding coordinator to help me with all this. i don't want a winter wedding because everyone in my family has a birthday in the winter (including now my fiance!) plus all the holidays! i want to spread out at least one event in an odd month. haha i also want my wedding to be in southern california so i think next spring would be a good time.

honestly, i don't necessarily want my fiance to play a huge role in planning the wedding. its mostly something for ME and my family/friends since, unfortunately, none of his family will likely be able to attend. we will probably have a second wedding (technically third if you count the courthouse) in morocco where he and his family will plan that whole event.

so confusing!!! i just want everything to be beautiful and planned well in advance so i don't miss out on things i could have had if i planned earlier. but is my mom right by saying to wait??

If I understand right, then big wedding or small wedding you're still getting married in the 3 months following when he gets here, right? So you're still making that commitment you think your mom is afraid of you making, right? Does your mom get that? Have the wedding when YOU want the wedding. If your fiance only needs to be minimally involved, then there's no reason not to start now.

[eap620 0]

I have reluctant family members in regards to my relationship so I understand your situation with your Mom. I ended up eloping so it was just sort of done but in your situation I don't really see the point in waiting. If you are for sure having a courthouse wedding after he gets here (or within 90 days) then I don't see why you need to wait too long for your family wedding. You will be already married so it pretty much is what it is.

You could wait to do the courthouse thing if you have doubts like your Mom does. 90 days is not a lot of time but you will be able to tell some stuff by having him here during that time. I wish you the best of luck and hope you figure out what you want.

Edited March 9, 2007 by eap620

[sereia 0]

If I understand right, then big wedding or small wedding you're still getting married in the 3 months following when he gets here, right? So you're still making that commitment you think your mom is afraid of you making, right? Does your mom get that? Have the wedding when YOU want the wedding. If your fiance only needs to be minimally involved, then there's no reason not to start now.

you're right. but i think what my mom meant was...before i go spending all that money with deposits, wedding coordinator, etc... wait a while after being courthouse married before i plan the wedding that will cost a lot of money. just to be sure it will work out. she's afraid 90 days is not enough to reallllllllllllllllllllllllly, REALLY know.

Edited March 9, 2007 by abdounjen

[Alex+R 0]

If I understand right, then big wedding or small wedding you're still getting married in the 3 months following when he gets here, right? So you're still making that commitment you think your mom is afraid of you making, right? Does your mom get that? Have the wedding when YOU want the wedding. If your fiance only needs to be minimally involved, then there's no reason not to start now.

you're right. but i think what my mom meant was...before i go spending all that money with deposits, wedding coordinator, etc... wait a while after being courthouse married before i plan the wedding that will cost a lot of money. just to be sure it will work out. she's afraid 90 days is not enough to reallllllllllllllllllllllllly, REALLY know.

Well, are you worried about that because YOU'RE not sure you really know? I'm not sure people ever really, really know...

[sereia 0]

well i feel like i know..as much as i possibly can believe. but i was just curious if people here planned it right away or waited. what the more popular answer was.

[mybackpages 0]

We had the civil marriage a week after he arrived. An offcical at the mosque performed the ceremony so that we could have the marriage recognized in Morocco with out having to do the legal wedding in Morocco. We then took the signed license to the courthouse and picked up certified copies at the same time the marriage is officially registerd. We want to get the AOS papers in as soon as possible.

In May we are having a wedding party in which everyone is invited. For most people, we are not even announcing the legal ceremony and are calling the party in May the wedding. This gives my SO a chance to meet people and feel like he also has friends attending since his family can not attend. It also gave us time to really plan the wedding we want (I want) without having to worry about visas and flights and trying to set a date and find a location.

When we return to Morocco we will have a moroccan wedding too for his family and friends.

[Queen Jenn 0]

Well . . . . . he's not even here yet, we haven't even filed the petition at this point (still preparing everything). But we have already discussed wedding plans. We basically know what we want for the celebration. So, as soon as he gets the visa, we will be able to finalize reservations and stuff because we already know what we want.

[NYGirl 0]

well ...i've been planning my wedding my whole life. its something i've always wanted to do. i'm one of those girls who's collected bride magazines ever since i can remember, cutting out favorites, and keeping them in a folder. i know... i guess this could go under my "fess up" reply.

but now that i'm marrying a man from morocco things are going to change. i want to incorporate his culture into the wedding with mine so things i had dreamt of are going to be different now. i plan to hire a wedding coordinator to help me with all this. i don't want a winter wedding because everyone in my family has a birthday in the winter (including now my fiance!) plus all the holidays! i want to spread out at least one event in an odd month. haha i also want my wedding to be in southern california so i think next spring would be a good time.

honestly, i don't necessarily want my fiance to play a huge role in planning the wedding. its mostly something for ME and my family/friends since, unfortunately, none of his family will likely be able to attend. we will probably have a second wedding (technically third if you count the courthouse) in morocco where he and his family will plan that whole event.

so confusing!!! i just want everything to be beautiful and planned well in advance so i don't miss out on things i could have had if i planned earlier. but is my mom right by saying to wait??

You sound JUST like me with all your planning and that he'll have no one here for the wedding from his side

Except.................my parents adore him and can't wait for him to be here

[sereia 0]

if mine were from your fiance's country it would be a whole other story.

she'd be calling the wedding planner herself this week! lol

[NYGirl 0]

if mine were from your fiance's country it would be a whole other story.

she'd be calling the wedding planner herself this week! lol

I am assuming you are Israeli?