This is a difficult process and I miss my husband.

[slnbsk 3]

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

I can totally relate!! My husband and i are married more than 2 years now. And most of it went by separately, longing for those days to be together like a normal married couple. But if you think about it, we promised each other to be forever together, right? So this is a small time frame if you compare it to forever. That's what I've been telling myself. Although it feels like this is a horrible test we need to go through, it happened and it will be over very soon like all the other bad things in life.

Keep your hopes up! Being in a bad mood doesn't really change anything. Believe me!

[DEAbara 9]

I'm right there with you. My husband and I married in Lagos 3 years ago. I've only been back once since then for just a week and he has never been here. My family were very surprised that we got married. They were really concerned for me which is understandable. My mom has talked with him on the phone a few times so that makes her feel better. I try to keep them involved in our lives... when he's sick, what we are going through with the visa, every day life... I talk about him and our marriage all the time. It makes things easier. They feel they are part of it and they are praying as well. That makes everything a lot less stressful.

We started our journey with a K1. I didn't know what I was doing so they needed more information and it expired before I could get everything else sent back to them. So we tried again a little later. Everything went well until his interview. We had forgotten that I had applied for K1 for him prior so when they asked him about it he responded that I had not applied before. We were denied.

After talking with others in our boat they said that getting married was a better option. We started our process in November 2014 for the K3. I submitted everything you can think of... pictures, e mails, IM conversations, and more than enough with the financial. I even got a letter from an officer of my bank stating what had been deposited in the last year and how long I had the account with them. (I think that went a long way) We just got notified last week that we have a completed case and we are now waiting for the interview to be scheduled. It's faster than I thought it would be. It's tough, but we know we are a stronger couple for going through all of our daily struggles together.

We decided to be a married couple that happen to live 7000 miles apart. We talk about every little thing from work to finances. We still make all of our decisions together. We are not living separate lives if that makes sense. That makes things easier too.

We know that we will be together here very soon. We know we did the right thing in getting married in Nigeria. We wouldn't change things at all.

If you need to talk about anything or just need support you can contact me. Keep your head up and pray really hard that God puts all of your visa issues in the hands of the people who will do it justice.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

i understand

i applied in july 2009 was denied / married / applied in 2010

denied

appealed / won appeal but had to reapply

i made as many trips as possible to be with him / 5 in all / stayed 3 months at a time

but it is hard /so very hard

we finally won and have his visa / he will be here in 2 weeks

This is not easy and you have to keep spirits up and reassure him all the time

and love him

you will get thru it / i doubt you will go thru 6 years as i did

but trust me

it is worth it

He is so excited now / flying for first time / coming finally to be togerther / all America has to offer

don't give in and write to me personal @ jeanne_darrow@yahoo.com if you need to talk

Trust me/ I understand

[A-square 31]

Hi, I can totally relate. Hang in there my friend! It will be worth it in the end. For me, we were planning to get married in September and had to cancel it and went to do civil marriage instead since I had to go back to my country asap. My dad got terminally sick and I had to fly back without any preparation. It was such an emotion coaster when my dad passed away and my husband couldn't support me in person since he just started working at new company. For the next 3 months, I was so devastated and sad. I cried a lot cause I miss my husband, but I always keep in mind that after all off this process done, I will be with my husband for the rest of my life.

Keep the faith! Keep your hopes up and be strong! You are not alone in this and you have all of us here to support each other.

[sbai2000 31]

@mrs E - yep...everyone can relate....

take heart....and when you get sad, read some of the personal stories here on VJ...you will see the light in your own circumstances.

so hang in there!

[sexyafrican36 42]

In all honesty I feel the same way....it's extremely hard most times I cry at night when I get back from work I am barley motivated to do anything I keep procrastinating everything becase I keep telling myself that "I do that when he gets here ".its hard to even sleep but even harder when I talk to him because I know he going through the same thing but only won't show me weakness always trying to stand strong so I don't see how bad it affects him...all i can do is pray and wait for all this to end and brings my husband home

[zerocool3166 1]

I know how you feel... im the same way right now. Everything was good until we started this process ... the distance and just waiting for the approval just blows. I just want my wife here already.