This is a difficult process and I miss my husband.

[Chief Mrs. Edeh 11]

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

Edited August 22, 2015 by Chief Mrs. Edeh

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Sure, I can relate. We have a nice little drama free facebook group where you can share and encourage one another.

If interested inbox me.

My now husband and I had a 5 year long K1 journey, first K1 refused after 16 months of AP and the 2. K1 was successful, so yeah I get what you mean.

Best wishes for a speedy reunion !

[mrskvelasco 30]

I try to ground myself during this whole ordeal by telling myself that this will all be over soon enough. Think of it this way: this stretch of time that you and your husband are living apart and dealing with the whole immigration process, when all is said and done, will make up such a small amount of time compared to your whole relationship and the rest of your lives together. This will soon become a distant memory!

Trust me, as much as it hurts, you will get through this Focus on the positives, keep yourself busy, get through the paperwork quickly and efficiently, and most importantly, BREATHE.

[TJandJR 69]

Yes, many of us can relate. Be strong and patient. Don't let immigrations suck the romance out of your relationship. There was a time during our K1 process (which was denied) that it seemed like all our conversations were about documents and forms and interview questions.... Here's some advice. I know you have to have conversations about the immigration process and forms, etc... but also make a point to have conversations and chats with a rule that talking about all that stuff is forbidden. Hang in there. Be patient. And best wishes.

[Team MicVic! 46]

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

Aww. I can feel your emotions right through your words. It is not an easy road at all but when you have a good honest one it's well worth it in the end. It will be an emotional roller coaster. You will laugh, cry and rejoice many times. You will feel overwhelmed and doubtful but it's the fatigue and frustration kicking in. Try and be proactive by preparing everything now. There is no way around the time difference. Just last night I feel asleep on hubby while he was all enthusiastic but it was 2am my time. You wil be tired and cranky and you two will get into it due to the separation. Pray constantly for the strength to endure this gruesome process. Family, friends and Co workers will think you're nuts since it's not the traditional way of doing things but only you and God will know that this is the right thing and right man for you. Hold on and don't let it consume you. Our Case Took 10.5 Mos WHICH Is great. Find someone who is going through this same process and become phone buddies or meet in person if close by. I met some awesome people whom I could pour my heart out to without judgment. Good luck and hugs to you

[afrocraft 313]

Hang it there.

If it helps, when I first saw the photo on your profile, I was like aww...

[foreignnaijawife 17]

Been there, done that, have the t shirt. I promise this will all seem like a bad dream once he's here with you. I started Foreign Wives of African Men on FB to help with those feelings. Feel free to join.

[mallafri76 1,012]

You're not alone. This visa journey is sooooooooooo tough. Funny enough, my husband and I have been doing this long distance relationship for almost five years now and it's not until we started the visa journey that we really started struggling with the distance and the hardship. I guess it's cause once you've made the decision to be together in one country, you want it now now now and not 10 to 16 months from now. All the paperwork and bureaucracy sure does't help either. But I think this journey makes the relationship stronger. I mean any couple that can handle this long, hard CR/IR-1 journey has a pretty strong foundation to stand on.

I thought the same as afrocraft when I looked at your profile picture. Soooo cute together.

[Ryan H 3,790]

Moved from Process & Procedures to Progress Reports.

[4 the luv of Masr 14]

I'm not sure if this is the proper place to post something like this, but I'm having a hard time and don't know anyone in real life who can relate to what I'm going through so I thought I would see if I could get some friendly responses here.

I met and dated my husband while I was working in South Africa last year. This past June he relocated to Nigeria (his home country) and I went with him so that we could be married. Since then I have relocated back to the US to get a different job and process all of the immigration paperwork.

I'm generally a very strong and brave woman, and he is and has been a very sweet and supportive man, but this process is heart wrenching sometimes. The distance, the time difference, the limited availability of technology (and electricity) in Nigeria, the general difficulty of getting anything done in Nigeria... the loads of complicated paperwork that requires complex conversations over the phone. It's all just hard. Not to mention the fact that very few people around me really understand what I'm going through. They are as supportive as possible, but since my husband hasn't been to the US yet, they worry for me (about bad things they've read on the internet - not my particular relationship). I just want to cry...

I'm sure at least someone on here can relate, right?

This is exactly what I went through with my husband; up to and including the part of your supporters. It weighed on me so much I actually canceled our first petition and ended up re-filing again later. We are now at the NVC stage. I wish I'd never have cancelled the first as he'd be here with me right now. I listened so much to what others were saying that I lost sight of everything that I had with my husband...and I'll always regret that. You gotta focus on what you have between you, re-read messages between you, look at pics, and remember he is going through the same exact thing you are...as are thousands of others making this journey. Chin up girl; there will come a day when none of this matters anymore and he will be standing next to you, God willing.

[Flora Lau Mendez 5]

I understand that none of my friends in real life has gone through this so I really can't talk to anybody or seek advice from. We didn't expect this to be that long and I had never experienced a long distance relationship before...

It's hard to say goodbye to my husband at the airport when we can only meet each other every 3-4months.

It sucks particularly when you or your partner is sick/upset and you are all alone...

Patience is what we have. I know some day this nightmare shall end. And it would be a unique and unforgettable memory of our lives.

And as for now, we have to try our best to love ourselves, stay healthy and happy while waiting for the reunion.

You are not alone dear. I wish I could give you a big hug because I need that too

[Neldreemz 13]

Your comment speaks to my heart... Everyday through this process I become more and more depressed. I have become withdrawn from family and friends and am barely motivated to even go to work. I just feel I am losing all this precious newlywed moments with my husband and no matter what I do I feel his presence missing to the point I no longer want to do things I use to enjoy. I never imagined this to be as hard as it has been. I have considered just quitting the process and just relocating to Nigeria myself, but reality kicks in and I know I cant be happy in Nigeria. He is so supportive and we do try to bridge the gap of distance and time difference as much as we can... But everyday is definitely a struggle. I just pray and lean on him!

[Chief Mrs. Edeh 11]

Thank you guys so much; I knew that most people here were probably going through something similar, but it really does help to hear your stories. Knowing that I'm not alone is good.

[Kastrs 723]

I just want to say, I know how you feel. The title here sums it up perfectcly.

[Shauna&Wael 211]

Your comment speaks to my heart... Everyday through this process I become more and more depressed. I have become withdrawn from family and friends and am barely motivated to even go to work. I just feel I am losing all this precious newlywed moments with my husband and no matter what I do I feel his presence missing to the point I no longer want to do things I use to enjoy. I never imagined this to be as hard as it has been. I have considered just quitting the process and just relocating to Nigeria myself, but reality kicks in and I know I cant be happy in Nigeria. He is so supportive and we do try to bridge the gap of distance and time difference as much as we can... But everyday is definitely a struggle. I just pray and lean on him!

I really relate to this. I had depression before I met my husband, but the whole process of course only made it much worse. If you've never had depression before, it can feel quite scary. You don't feel like the same person anymore.

My personal advice to the OP, you, and anyone else feeling this way:

-Focus on the victories, however small they may be (find something at least once a month to celebrate or feel thankful for)

-Focus on the small steps of the process being completed, and think about how far you've come since the start

-Family and friends have your best interest at heart, but unless they're in your relationship, they don't have the right to say if it's real or fake

-Realize the inequalities that exist between us and those who fell in love in the same country, but let that anger transform your motivation

-Transform your free time into something that will benefit you two in the future

-Make plans for how you want your lives to be, start preparing, and before you know it, things will fall into place

-Remember even when you feel all alone, your spouse is feeling the same way too

Hugs and best wishes