Broken hearted

[duckhunter1 18]

The relationship I had with my PH fiancé ended last night after I finally reached her by phone. We met in Dec. 2014 online and I visited her in May/June 2015. We got engaged and filed out the K-1 application diligently together. She left her home and went to Pampanga for a job there and virtually disappeared on me. She said she was still interested in coming here but that she wanted me to come get her sometime in 2016. This Visa in on the way to Manila right now. I felt she was stringing me along and could hear hesitation in her voice. I ended it. So sad after all this traveling, time commitment, K-1 diligence and financial investment. Why do girls change their mind so abruptly I will never know the answer to this question. Certainly isn't the first time this has happened to me but this is the most advance relationship with marriage intentions that I've had with a PH. I caution guys trying to accomplish this virtually impossible task.

[bendinlar 16]

The reality may have hit her that she would be leaving everything she knows behind. Might be that it's not as easy to do as she thought. Could be that she has heard horror stories about making it to the U.S., only to end up being treated as a maid,..., or worse. Could be the family interfering too. The fear of the unknown can be a powerful thing. Hearing stories from friends already here in the U.S. about dealing with in laws and exes and past children and all the stress that goes with.

You two know what's best for your relationship, and what is the best for you two, same as any couple.

Point is, the culture shock/reality of the situation could take a while to set in. When it does, it takes some understanding and patience to work through it together if you really want to make a life together. It takes teamwork and effort, and lots of reassurance to get over some of these fears.

[annoj 13]

Sorry to hear about this duckhunter it's so heartbreaking to breakup after a serious commitment, but look on the brighter side and be glad it happened now than later when u guys are together and have started your lives together,if she can't cross hurdles now with u then she won't be able to do it later too,divorce is much more devastating.you will find someone soon who is Godsent, just hold on and don't give up...God bless u dear

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

I'm really sorry to hear about your break up. One thing you might consider is giving any relationship, but especially an international relationship, more time. Get to know her better online, and take more trips to visit her. The more time you give it, the more both of you will be sure it's real. With international relationships you both need to understand each other's cultures, and taking your time will allow this to happen. And finally, one other thing... consider marrying in her country and applying for a CR-1 visa instead of K-1 fiancee visa. Again, it takes about an extra 6 months but you're waiting with a much deeper commitment. Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

[duckhunter1 18]

International dating is too difficult for me. I give up.

[Umka36 781]

Better to know now than later. I won't disagree with you that international relationship is difficult and it goes beyond just money, especially when its a different culture to boot.

[Greenbaum 12,258]

The relationship I had with my PH fiancé ended last night after I finally reached her by phone. We met in Dec. 2014 online and I visited her in May/June 2015. We got engaged and filed out the K-1 application diligently together. She left her home and went to Pampanga for a job there and virtually disappeared on me. She said she was still interested in coming here but that she wanted me to come get her sometime in 2016. This Visa in on the way to Manila right now. I felt she was stringing me along and could hear hesitation in her voice. I ended it. So sad after all this traveling, time commitment, K-1 diligence and financial investment. Why do girls change their mind so abruptly I will never know the answer to this question. Certainly isn't the first time this has happened to me but this is the most advance relationship with marriage intentions that I've had with a PH. I caution guys trying to accomplish this virtually impossible task.

It's better to find out now then later but that is the reality. Yes, a long distance relationship is difficult at best. My wife and I talked for hours a day on the MJphone/skype and every day she was there, same time same place. I never had my doubts about her. We spent 2 years talking even before I scheduled a trip. Once I made the trip then I knew that she was for me. I proposed and we began the process of getting her papers in order. Then I returned back for the interview with her as support, and I was curious how this all worked at the Embassy. To this day she appreciated everything I did for her and her children to get them to the US and into a better life. I truly love her and I am glad she is with me. We just became Lola and Lolo's last week as her daughter gave birth to a 7lb boy.

Anyway, I digressed. Don't give up on the Philippines as the people are truly wonderful. But, keep in mind that you have to take your time.

There is nothing wrong in staying in touch with her and giving her some space. 2016 is not that far away. Who knows, another trip and more time it may work. Good Luck.

[_Paul&Jesica_ 70]

Better it happened now than later when she was already here in the US.

Don't give up on romance. You have more wisdom now and have a much better chance of finding someone who is right for you.

Good luck!

[Brassballs 47]

Like all others I'm sorry to hear this outcome for your relationship. You are in a small minority to the best of my knowledge of relationships that don't work out .

I don't want to meddle at all so There is no need to answer if you prefer not to, but do you know what city she found employment in Pampanga?

[fayriebaby 21]

Im so sorry this happened to you, not all of us are like that. You will find the right girl for you sooner or later (or it will just come along). Not all Long distance relationships end like that. Almost 7 years of LDR for me and im happy to be with him now.

[cristina16 81]

I feel sorry that this happened to you but everything happens for a reason. We all deserve to be happy.

I agree, it must be that it was too fast for her and the seeing herself moving from Masbate to the US is very vague in a span of less than a year. Yes it will be pretty scary is she haven't expanded her world from Masbate.

I hope you will not generalize us Philippine ladies with this experience.

I don't want to meddle at all so There is no need to answer if you prefer not to, but do you know what city she found employment in Pampanga?

I really hope and pray she is not working in Angeles City, Pampanga now.

[Brassballs 47]

Im so sorry this happened to you, not all of us are like that. You will find the right girl for you sooner or later (or it will just come along). Not all Long distance relationships end like that. Almost 7 years of LDR for me and im happy to be with him now.

Off topic..... But only 6 months for a CR1 visa! That's REALLY fast.

[Brassballs 47]

I really hope and pray she is not working in Angeles City, Pampanga now.

That's what I wanted to know without directly asking. If so, then making the relationship work over time will be much more challenging for each of them for many reasons. Not saying they still can't make it work, just more difficult.

[VOL 425]

Like all others I'm sorry to hear this outcome for your relationship. You are in a small minority to the best of my knowledge of relationships that don't work out .

I don't want to meddle at all so There is no need to answer if you prefer not to, but do you know what city she found employment in Pampanga?

She probably GRO

[VOL 425]

International dating is too difficult for me. I give up.

I have found international dating to be fun and entertaining. You just have to learn how to play the game.