super sad now. Do not know what to do . My boyfriend refuse to get married with me

[raven52 233]

Any other man would be so lucky to have a woman like you. You have tried so hard, but it takes two people trying hard to make a marriage work.

You have to do what you have to do, and I think you know what is best for your safety and well-being.

Move on, I have a personal opinion, that he does not deserve a woman like you.

Do what is best for you.

[super sad now 11]

This may all be for the best. It's probably good that he showed he true colors early because maybe if you did get married he would try to use the green card to control you. Any man who makes such rash decisions over something as simple as a library card isn't someone you want to commit your life to anyway. I'm sorry that it turned out like this. I wish you all the best.

en, you are right. I come here not for the green card. 2years ago, i asked him to move to china.He gave me tons of excuses for not going. two years later i had to came here by K1 visa.

anyway, i will choose the good way for both of us.

thank you a lot.

Any other man would be so lucky to have a woman like you. You have tried so hard, but it takes two people trying hard to make a marriage work.

You have to do what you have to do, and I think you know what is best for your safety and well-being.

Move on, I have a personal opinion, that he does not deserve a woman like you.

Do what is best for you.

Thanks for your comments and advice. I will move on.

[tuckin14 58]

I'm sad for you and sympathetic. But you cannot force him to marry you, and if you do not marry within 90 days you will be out of status.

I was in an abusive marriage and made a huge number of sacrifices, and I kept believing that if I just tried hard enough eventually she'd "have" to appreciate me. But she didn't.

It's difficult, but all you can do is pick up the pieces of your life The sooner you get past this emotionally, the better off you will be. I know it's not easy. It took me years to do it, but eventually I did. You will too.

[super sad now 11]

I'm sad for you and sympathetic. But you cannot force him to marry you, and if you do not marry within 90 days you will be out of status.

I was in an abusive marriage and made a huge number of sacrifices, and I kept believing that if I just tried hard enough eventually she'd "have" to appreciate me. But she didn't.

It's difficult, but all you can do is pick up the pieces of your life The sooner you get past this emotionally, the better off you will be. I know it's not easy. It took me years to do it, but eventually I did. You will too.

sorry for your suffering. En, I will not force him to marry with me. i do not think he could change. I will be ok. Once I decide to give up, that is a really giving up.

Thanks for your encouraging words. hug for you!

[super sad now 11]

Just show him the email I got. he said that is someone who pour dirty water on him. then I asked him :" could I ask who is the sender?"

He asked me not doing that. if I did that, the sender could call cops to get me to police station because I harass the sender.

Is it radiculous?

[kattaklizm 11]

Hey, your story really touched me. I do feel sorry for your situation. This should of never happened. I know it's all about keeping your dignity now, but as for me this moron should buy you a return ticket. That's your right to demand at least the ticket back.

remember.. what goes around, comes around.

一刀两断 Edited July 31, 2015 by kattaklizm

[Boiler 43,433]

Sounds like you dodged the bullet.

[Jawaree 717]

Sadly he is not just cheating he is showing you he don't want, or care

about you, don't mess up your status or spend any more of your funds

with him, buy your ticket & do a bit of shopping then leave this way you

do not mess up the future to travel here....inform them at your consulate

if you go that the relationship has ended

[TBoneTX 43,058]

Two posts containing personal information have been removed.

VJ Moderation

[IleanaArpaio 10]

My 2 cents opinion ..is if u got this feeling of him cheating u then he is cheating you..I live it and learn it long ago in my life. after 6 months of been married i knew he was cheating i try to fix my marriage and make things work but then he become even worst,more i find out more abusive he was getting. So I needed a brake so bad i decided to visit some friends in US and travel and forget about whole situation..that's how i find my second husband..he has been a blessing from GOD..Don't worry good things will come to you..but don't get in trouble overstaying and I think u should sit down and talk clearly with him and see where this conversation goes...and if nothing changes i think u should return to China..I'm so sorry u had to live this not fair. You sacrifice so much for this guy and yet he has done nothing to prove he is worth marrying him!

Chin up and life goes on !

Best of luck to you.

[Shauna&Wael 211]

Yes really. Nothing is proven. I'm just saying, she came all the way to US so might as well give it her best. Relationships take a lot of work and misunderstandings so commonly arise. That's just my opinion. Everyone's entitled to their own.

On the contrary, she came all the way to the U.S. ---- LEAVING a job, leaving her old life, and being totally raw here ----- HE should give it HIS best too. It's a two way street. And he's treating her like #######. This is more than "misunderstandings" but it seems like you're going to relentlessly defend this trash so I'll stop lol.

[Shauneg 762]

On the contrary, she came all the way to the U.S. ---- LEAVING a job, leaving her old life, and being totally raw here ----- HE should give it HIS best too. It's a two way street. And he's treating her like #######. This is more than "misunderstandings" but it seems like you're going to relentlessly defend this trash so I'll stop lol.

[Gary&Joy 18]

just one question that probably makes no difference.. the OP had mentioned "at his age"... so what is his age??

what are both your ages?? love can certainly span the years, but my impression is that he is a grumpy old fool, and the OP is still a vibrant up-and-comer.. in fact, I wish I had stopped short of marrying my ex-wife.. she destroyed almost 2 decades of my life.. the OP had a trip to US and a vacation for a while.. we can all learn to keep a proper perspective on our lives by reading posts like this.. thank you, and good luck.. and like the one poster said, do some shopping and get back to your life.. (not that shopping in US is necessarily better than shopping in China)

[VOL 425]

It's shows a lot of his character if he wants you to buy your own ticket back home...

[swji89 41]

It's shows a lot of his character if he wants you to buy your own ticket back home...

Well, exactly. If he had any class he would have sat you down and admitted that he just doesn't want to go through with it anymore (although he should've had the guts to realise this earlier and speak up about it) and at the very least pay for your ticket home. It just sound like an awful situation where you've been taken for a ride. All the best for your future.