Waiting on my I-129F

[TBoneTX 43,058]

This (immigration) is an unknown to most people. And with realities varying greatly from one country to another one cannot assume they will have smooth sailing because it seems to be just filing a few forms. The OP began with some overly optimistic assumptions. Better to hear the truth in the early stages and prepare for the challenges that may lay ahead.

These words should be enshrined in the pantheon of all-time greatest VJ posts.

The consular phase, the most crucial part of the process, can deal out some life-shattering outcomes. Of the known hellhole consulates and embassies, Lagos is in a class by itself.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

But why do the responses have to be in a negative tone? I agree honesty is important but it could be presented in a more positive way. That's just my opinion.

You can't put glitter on what comes out of a dogs butt and expect it to suddenly be pretty.

(The actual phrase would involve many *****)

If you read posts in a negative way then I'm afraid that is your problem(generally speaking)

All we say are nothing, we type words, you read them and we don't sugar coat it.

Everyone who has posted in both of the OPs topics have responded in honest opinions, because we are not friends, we are not real family, we need other people to give us the truth no matter how harsh it is.

Because the Op is going through a hardcore embassy and will be denied for not having met either before or at the interview. Those are the cold hard facts and no one here is going to sugar coat that.

Sugar coating helps no one, false hope helps no one.

The honest advice I see , give and have been given myself here are what helps.

[Unidentified 2,930]

Report away. If you have been on VJ long enough you will understand why alarm bells are ringing loudly in this instance.

I'm not talking about the alarm bells of not meeting etc, lots of people including me has been clear with her that that's not going to fly. I'm talking about the rude people bashing her to the point she will probably not come back for advice during her next I-129F.

[belinda63 2,981]

I don't perceive anyone as having been rude but perhaps blunt would be a better choice of a descriptor. We aren't trying to shatter her rainbow as it is obvious she is in love with this person and wants him here as quickly as possible. It has been made known to her that a financial hardship such as she described will not be sufficient to waive the meeting in person requirement. She has also been advised that Nigeria is a high-fraud country.

This is not saying that her specific fiancé is a fraud or anything negative about him in particular, it is simply laying out the facts and probabilities to her. I hope he is a great man and they live long and prosper together......but.....the reality is they need to meet in person. The petition which has already been filed is a lost cause, time to move on with another plan. The chances of him getting a tourist visa to the US are pretty slim, she doesn't feel safe traveling to his home country, so they need to figure out where they can meet and spend time together. I would strongly advice she travel to his home, meet the family and neighbors, and document it very well. Not only so she isn't potentially taken for a ride but also because Lagos is a very difficult consulate.

She needs to step back, regroup, and plan.

[MouadsWife 161]

I'm not talking about the alarm bells of not meeting etc, lots of people including me has been clear with her that that's not going to fly. I'm talking about the rude people bashing her to the point she will probably not come back for advice during her next I-129F.

On this thread and her other thread. .. no one has bashed her, as you put it, but has given her solid advice on how to proceed with her visa, and the problems with her current visa.

[Unidentified 2,930]

On this thread and her other thread. .. no one has bashed her, as you put it, but has given her solid advice on how to proceed with her visa, and the problems with her current visa.

That strange as both the OP and me has said enough bashing. I guess we just have to agree to disagree on the definition of bashing.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

Unkind statement edited from post below, with post returned to thread as follows:

You and the op have been a little too sensitive. There are people who read and accept criticism and advice and people who read and take things personally as an attack. Evidently you are one of the latter. You will never learn anything if you take advice as bashing or as an atrack on yourself. No one bashed her. As I stated... if one does this, ita a hard road.

Everyone, we can disagree without being disagreeable. In addition, please strive to distinguish frankness from "bashing."

TBoneTX

VJ Moderation

[slabrin 3]

My sister,never let anyone discourage you.follow your heart.if you really love this guy,just make it to him with no time.Nigeria is a very safe country.I must tell you the truth,but Lagos Nigeria is the best safer place to visit. just go to your man and necessary thing.that is if you truly love him..my fiancé came to Nigeria September last year during the time of Ebola..while everyone in her family and friends was discouraged her.some even told her they heard that she wanted to travel down to Nigeria.that she's going to catch the bola.they said sort of rubbish just to discouraged her..but my baby wouldn't listening to them..finally my baby made it to me .based on true love we have for eachother.and I love what I saw and she love what she saw either. we even love eachother more and more after meeting in person.and she love Nigeria she was even planing to pay more visit before her visa got expired.. even most of her family that was talking rubbish earlier was trying to come with her for her next visit.my sister my advice for is that never let anyone discourage you.follow your heart.go and meet your boy friend if you truly do love him..and make sure you study him very well.that's all I have to say..I wish you guys best luck.

[General Buhari 46]

My sister,never let anyone discourage you.follow your heart.if you really love this guy,just make it to him with no time.Nigeria is a very safe country.I must tell you the truth,but Lagos Nigeria is the best safer place to visit. just go to your man and necessary thing.that is if you truly love him..my fiancé came to Nigeria September last year during the time of Ebola..while everyone in her family and friends was discouraged her.some even told her they heard that she wanted to travel down to Nigeria.that she's going to catch the bola.they said sort of rubbish just to discouraged her..but my baby wouldn't listening to them..finally my baby made it to me .based on true love we have for eachother.and I love what I saw and she love what she saw either. we even love eachother more and more after meeting in person.and she love Nigeria she was even planing to pay more visit before her visa got expired.. even most of her family that was talking rubbish earlier was trying to come with her for her next visit.my sister my advice for is that never let anyone discourage you.follow your heart.go and meet your boy friend if you truly do love him..and make sure you study him very well.that's all I have to say..I wish you guys best luck.

Lagos is safe? Tell that to tomyka81 who doesn't like landing in Lagos but prefers Edo state which is the kidnap capital of Nigeria - lol

VeeJay could be funny sometimes.

In any case OP is going to Nigeria to get married now, on another thread.