I wouldn't post on here to save my life

[lala64 93]

It is not a cohesive group, people come people go. Most have little in common except the obvious.

Of course people are treated differently, I can think of a couple recently who definitely asked for and got what they deserved.

If somebody has done a little bit of research that helps, how many times do you see the same question being asked that was answered in the post below.

Id like to say being somewhat of newer member that the same questions have been getting asked and answered for many many yearsIve seen it by just Googling a question and find the answer dated back to 2007 from a previous VJ member. But one thing I have noticed is that since I have been on here asking questions, that my post get moved from here to there all the time. It gets pretty frustrating as there is no clear direction on where to post what. I saw K1/I129 forums and being that is the application I filed. I post there then a moderator comes along and moves the thread saying it doesn't apply to the section of the forum. Well heck. where are the blueprints or directions of where to post what there's no navigation page and its sorta hit and miss until you get moved all over the place. pretty frustrating. If people are getting frustrated and don't want to help the newcomers or forget that the position we as newcomers are in now, you once were but feel superior or feel like " that's a stupid question" or "that was just answered below" I think a little patience and understanding would be a good place to start instead of being rude and uncaring. Some of the senior members are helpful while others seem impatient and rude. I cant say directly if there is a bias toward one group or the next but if you become impatient or frustrated by someone who is anxious and scared and just want to know how fast they will be with their significant other then there are more issues with the people on here then I thought. Noone should be singled out or made to feel like they are dumb for asking a previously asked question. for those who know and are willing to help.. answer.. those who know and are tired..then don't answer and if it were me preferably don't comment at all especially negatively. I thought ..great a place where others can relate but lately a lot of you are judge and jury and give some of us no hope or positivity. Not saying to sugar coat situations but at least remember from whence you came. I would hate to think race and ethnicity is playing a factor on this site I deal with enough of that in the real world.

[j&ana 363]

I feel that this site is a good site for immigration questions as this is site main purpose. I know it help me a lot for me to get my wife visa. if you post a drama type question then yes you will probably get a lot of dumb type answers. also there will always be people who will want to make a big deal out of something, that will happen on any forum but overall there is not a better site that helps people thru the process of getting a visa for the person we love and care about

Edited May 27, 2015 by j&ana

[NikLR 13,220]

On the subject of moving threads:

We move posts to keep the forum organized. If you have a question about a specific process, it goes in the process and procedures. If you have updates or questions about how things are moving along, then it's a progress report. Unless it's specifically about how the process works, it's generally a progress report.

If the question is not specific to your visa type and applies to multiple visas maybe it's general discussion. That's where all the green card threads end up because multiple visas have green cards upon entry.

NVC questions, unless part of an ongoing thread in the progress reports or unless specific to your visa type, may end up being moved to the NVC forum to keep all those relevant questions there. It makes it easier for people to find them. If a question is about a specific service center, well that's what USCIS service centers are for. Even if you're going through the K1 process and maybe you're like "hey why is TSC so slow?" Well you didn't ask a question about the K1 process and you aren't making a progress report. The thread's logical location is USCIS service centers forum.

On top of that, each country has their own issues so we have the regional forums. For instance, Montreal Canada has some very strict domicile requirements. While that could go into the US embassy discussion, it is also relevant to the Canada regional forum where it was started, so it has been left in the Canada regional forum. Questions about medicals are best asked in regional forums as each region has different requirements and can tell you which physicians to use. Not everything in each process is relevant to the entire forum.

The policy is, if it's meant to be in a different forum, we move it, otherwise if it's relevant to it's current forum, then leave it. You can always report a post to ask it to be moved or ask why it was moved. We generally try to say why unless we think it's obvious, but to a new member it may not be as obvious as we think. I'll have to remember to write down why always, just for that purpose (I get lazy.. I'm human... )

Edited May 27, 2015 by NLR

[jaimelee 12]

Wow, I never realized that my post would trigger such a debate and so much passion in people.

I've never posted before on this major family changes part of VJ before the other day, never even really looked in here at all. Most, if not all of my posts revolved around the K1 and AOS areas, no personal issues back then. For me, I probably could have left out the majority of the drama of my post, and just asked the straight forward black and white question that I had. Sometimes though, one just gets fired up about a situation and it becomes easy to just let it all out. Ive always came to VJ for immigration questions, straight forward immigration advice and questions. Never did I ask for any advice in regards to my personal life, if I ever write anything about my personal life its for background information or just me simply like I said just letting it out (both in the previous post). I do understand though and feel like if you put it out there people are able and will comment on it which is to be expected in some way.

I feel like VJ is a great tool and community, the people here are awesome and the majority are very knowledgeable. But heck, life happens, things change, and when life happens you want to be just as knowledgable about what you are doing and what those consequences for your future are as when life was happening the last time and when everything was rainbows and butterflies, and thats what Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits is for.

[Cathi 5,610]

People who attack others, who are rude and give unsolicited advice and opinions think that hiding behind a computer screen excuses them from being rational, empathetic, caring individuals. It drives me insane when someone comes her asking for help and the thread gets totally derailed and turns into a battle of wills. I will admit that I do come here to read some of the more dramatic threads, there is something about reading other people's drama that makes my life seem so much more normal

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

eh, I dont know about that. Might depend on which way the wind is blowing. We all know the TOS well, it is what it is. If there was a way to make it better- it would be. So as it stands- you cant do anything to interfere with the enjoyment of others. Or something like that. This is a conundrum- because different people enjoy different things. Some love drama, some love the serious straight talk. When they mix in the same thread its like cats and dogs.

Personally I feel the official Mod response of- take the cue from the OP- being if they posted a personal filled drama post then by all means delve in and discuss personal issues. If they didnt they back the heck off and dont interrogate them about gritty details to get your daily dose of drama for the day. - well, I feel that that is acceptable and not acceptable.

Example (and Im going to be careful here because I want to keep this general and not make this about specific situations or refer to specific threads) Someone posts a personal drama type thread about relationship type issues and ends up traveling to the US a day before their 2 year anniversary causing them to get a conditional GC rather then a unconditional card. The marriage was clearly in shambles, yet no practical advice was given because the focus was on the drama/personal aspect. It was how the OP started it. Members dove into it, and no practical advice was given.

Following the format above by the Mod standard- it was all correct. Follow the OPs lead. That certainly doesnt seem right.. Does it? And for those that are inclined to agree and say- well then offer practical advice- it was attempted to be given and told not verbatium but shut up, practical advice wasnt asked for here, only answer with what the OP wanted.

Im sorry so we just sit back and watch people crash and burn now because they didnt specifically ask if they were driving towards a cliff, they only asked if they were going south, so just nod yup thats south, keep going and wave buh bye. I cant. Im sorry, I just cant.

Forget about the picking on the OP, what about the picking on each other? Your posts are too long. Im tired of reading the same things over and over again. Well, maybe the post isnt meant for you and your enjoyment but for the OP and most appreciate a thorough response. This isnt twitter with a 140 character count and Im sorry if thats your attention span limit. I get its frustrating to read the same things about roc and divorce and vawa again and again. Its frustrating to explain them again and again. Is the solution to harass the boring people to make it more interesting? Or harass each other?

Because God Forbid someone tries to speak up for someone anyone more - whether its the OP or a fellow member. It use to be there was a sense of right, a sense of community and abuse was not tolerated as a whole in these pages. Now its become an open season. One person makes a comment and everyone draws their fangs.

Ive never considered myself friends with anybody here- but ya-all were certainly not my enemies. Now I just dont know. Post something on here- wrong- youll get ripped to shreds.

-

ha ha, its kind of funny that Jerry Springer was mentioned, I dont know if I ever thought of it that way. Im not sure how I feel about that. Im going to have to think that over for a bit. Having an audience watch in amusement while we fight./ I dont know if I want to participate in that. To be someones daily amusement- hmmm/?

Was that the bone of contention we gnawed on recently ? I remember calling you out on the way you started out one of your comments,

which was something like : " Here we go once again...no one is addressing this and that "....But the problem was with your choice of condescending words.

You then said sorry, that you didn't mean to be rude and when you explained why you can't just address the OP's emotional drama but feel the need to be technical and specific I even told you "Fair enough". But you came off as though you were the only one with a correct response and were scolding

everyone who commented to OP's personal issues.

My point is that it's not always what is said but in what attitude it is said, some comments come off as condescending and I still believe the way you

put it was out of line. It was defused by your apology.

In regards to the person that inspired you to write this thread, well she didn't like to hear the truth in a particular thread and the generalizations

and stereotyping is what I and many others pointed out to her.

Stereotyping Nationalities like puppy dogs is absurd. People are all individuals and the OP was not helped with stereotypical and untrue statements.

That is my 2 cents.

[Cathi 5,610]

Here is a REAL Jerry Springer interview for everyone to read and enjoy...lol

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/139731-jerry-springer-interview/

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Here is a REAL Jerry Springer interview for everyone to read and enjoy...lol

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/139731-jerry-springer-interview/

That's a novel.....one of many..... I will save it for tomorrow.

[Cathi 5,610]

That's a novel.....one of many..... I will save it for tomorrow.

It's hysterically funny

[lala64 93]

I just posted today but had wanted to for a while now to see if I could get "positive feedback" I was already feeling overwhelmed with my situation and really didn't want any negativity associated with my post. just help or guidance which surprisingly enough is all that I received. I did mention in my post no negative feedback please and whether or not they listened or there simply wasn't any is unknown to me. I do agree that people do get a bit negative sometimes but for the most part, I have found the site helpful and calming to know that I am not alone in my journey. I wish the site was more supportive because if we are on here then someone is waiting to be with a loved one and is stressed out to the max. Even those whose case appears to go smoothly without a hitch must feel some anxiety. Me on the other hand am not that fortunate my relationship is complicated and so has been my dealings so far with USCIS but to have a place to get the info and support is well worth it. Thanks Visa Journey.

It appears my last post was removed and/or deleted. GO Figure. so one can not say anything about the moderators it seems you get ousted. this is crazy.

[SantyAndAllie 155]

It's hysterically funny

I honestly didn't get it.. Lol. I don't see what's funny about it! That she found out during the interview that her husband had another ex wife & 3 more kids, and then she punched him 3 times in front of the consulate? Lol.

[lala64 93]

On the subject of moving threads:

We move posts to keep the forum organized. If you have a question about a specific process, it goes in the process and procedures. If you have updates or questions about how things are moving along, then it's a progress report. Unless it's specifically about how the process works, it's generally a progress report.

If the question is not specific to your visa type and applies to multiple visas maybe it's general discussion. That's where all the green card threads end up because multiple visas have green cards upon entry.

NVC questions, unless part of an ongoing thread in the progress reports or unless specific to your visa type, may end up being moved to the NVC forum to keep all those relevant questions there. It makes it easier for people to find them. If a question is about a specific service center, well that's what USCIS service centers are for. Even if you're going through the K1 process and maybe you're like "hey why is TSC so slow?" Well you didn't ask a question about the K1 process and you aren't making a progress report. The thread's logical location is USCIS service centers forum.

On top of that, each country has their own issues so we have the regional forums. For instance, Montreal Canada has some very strict domicile requirements. While that could go into the US embassy discussion, it is also relevant to the Canada regional forum where it was started, so it has been left in the Canada regional forum. Questions about medicals are best asked in regional forums as each region has different requirements and can tell you which physicians to use. Not everything in each process is relevant to the entire forum.

The policy is, if it's meant to be in a different forum, we move it, otherwise if it's relevant to it's current forum, then leave it. You can always report a post to ask it to be moved or ask why it was moved. We generally try to say why unless we think it's obvious, but to a new member it may not be as obvious as we think. I'll have to remember to write down why always, just for that purpose (I get lazy.. I'm human... )

Hey thanks for clearing that up!!

[Cathi 5,610]

I honestly didn't get it.. Lol. I don't see what's funny about it! That she found out during the interview that her husband had another ex wife & 3 more kids, and then she punched him 3 times in front of the consulate? Lol.

Yes, it was a riot.

[Boiler 43,433]

Wonder what happened, seemed he was looking for work elsewhere, ended back with allegedly a job offer and then nothing.

[TBoneTX 43,058]

It appears my last post was removed and/or deleted.

?