So Hurt. ...

[jacan 27]

Hello all.. I have been lurking on this site for awhile, but decided to join today and tell my story. I met my husband in Jamaica about 3 yrs ago. We hit it off, and had what I thought was a great relationship. We got married in December 2014. However I found out about 2 months ago that he has seeing someone else from the usa the entire time we were together and even spent the week before our wedding with her in Jamaica. I have not submitted the paperwork yet. Should I just forget it altogether? He has begged me to forgive him, even crying on the phone saying she doesn't mean anything to him and I am the one he is in love with. I am so hurt .. I cannot stop crying

[NancyNguyen 1,657]

A man was in relationship with someone, then he says she are nothing to him => worst human being ever. If other woman finds out, he might say same thing about you. Don' waste tears on this dude, divorce here in the States.

[jacan 27]

Thanks for your response. In my head I know what I should do. It's so embarrassing. My family flew with me to Jamaica for the wedding and I feel so ashamed to tell them it's over. I keep going over in my head if I missed any signs. But honestly, I cannot think of anything.

[Pitaya 2,576]

~Moved from IR1/CR1 Process to Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed at this forum~

[WeAreTooCool 17]

I am so sorry to hear that that happened to you. Take it from me though and forget about him. I'm not stereotyping or anything but most of these men do that down here. A leopard doesn't changes its spots. Thank God that you found out about it before you paid for the paperwork. Noone cheats "by accident" he knew what he was doing. It may hurt now but imagine if he had gotten to America and ran off with that other lady. Again I'm sorry to hear the pain you are going through but don't waste anymore time with him

[jacan 27]

Thank you.. It hurts so bad. I deliberately waited 2 years before marrying him, just to be certain I knew him enough. I met all his family. And except for that very first time I went back after meeting him, I always stayed at his house. I never saw anything that would tip me off. I was treated well when I visited. When my father passed in Jamaica, he was at the funeral with me. He called almost everyday, since it was cheaper for him to do so.

I still cannot believe he was leading a double life.

[Ning 619]

Hello all.. I have been lurking on this site for awhile, but decided to join today and tell my story. I met my husband in Jamaica about 3 yrs ago. We hit it off, and had what I thought was a great relationship. We got married in December 2014. However I found out about 2 months ago that he has seeing someone else from the usa the entire time we were together and even spent the week before our wedding with her in Jamaica. I have not submitted the paperwork yet. Should I just forget it altogether? He has begged me to forgive him, even crying on the phone saying she doesn't mean anything to him and I am the one he is in love with. I am so hurt .. I cannot stop crying

It should be tears of joy because you found out this soon. You are lucky to find it & smart to acknowledge reality. The next level of reality will be when you realize you were wrong to think it would change because at the time; again he seemed sincere. Of course he is good at the game but there is no need now to waste your efforts or your money on this type of person.

He spent the week before your wedding with her? I can only imagine how that was explained but its a clue to what you will endure until you just focus on you.

Edited May 2, 2015 by Ning

[WeAreTooCool 17]

He is a jerk and a con! Honestly I have yet to meet a man down here that at some point or another have never been with 2 women at the same time. that's also one of the main reason I personally did not wanna date another Jamaican man, it's gonna be alot of emotions to go through but just think of it "what is 3 years wasted compared to 10?" At this point I think you can file for an annulment. Don't get me wrong though, there might be some really good and honest men down here but it would be best to find one down here that is so financiallyrics stable that you know getting a green card is not is main goal. I will keep you in my prayers dear

[Wooderz 314]

Sorry you're going through this. Nobody deserves this. Divorce or annulment and move on. He's not worth any more of your time, attention, thoughts or money.

[nubianqueen 2]

I am so sorry to hear you are in this kind of situation.I would suggest you don't waste anymore of your time and money on someone who is not as devoted and faithful as you are .Plus when he comes here who knows he could probably run off with the other woman which will be more heartbreak and stress for you , so try to avoid that now and divorce him and move on with your life I know its easier said than done but I am sure you will find someone better .

[InHisTime 110]

Sorry for this, but you need to be strong for yourself. Mostly a cheater will always be a cheater. Save yourself from more pains.

Sometimes it's God's way for you to realize that it is not worth at all. Just pray hard and you will get the right answer, follow your instinct then.

Give thanks to God after all, you didn't start the petition yet. God will heal your heart in time.

[Pinkrlion 2,607]

File for divorce, do not file the paperwork. He will leave you for the other woman once he reaches up here.

[tomyka81 95]

Reading this almost made me cry. I understand the embarrassment will cause you to hesitate with ending the marriage. Of course some of your family was telling you not to marry him. But you can't set your self up for future failure because you don't want to face the embarrassment.

[jacan 27]

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I told my sister and she was very supportive and cried with me. I plan on telling mom and other family members over the weekend.

I am definitely not filing any paperwork. He called a few times today and I didn't answer the phone. I know I will be ok but right now I am still hurting.

thanks again for listening

[Mountain Climber 186]

Quiet your mind and listen to your heart. You will know what to do. Stay strong.