BF becomes busy all of a sudden

[rlogan 2,036]

When a man starts being hard to find, and contact.,.it is not a good sign for a relationship. The computer crashing.,..,.,maybe, maybe not!

Yeah - the computer crashing. Even if it did then how long do people in this day and age go without one? He is supposedly working all the time so money can't be an issue - three hundred bucks will get a fine desktop computer.

Dragging his feet on the visa - the one unifying theme across all of us is our urgency in getting the visa taken care of as quickly as possible. Even the scammers, lol.

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Please don't assume the worst. LDR's are extremely hard and every relationships have ups and downs, highs and lows. Do we break up everytime? Your timeline is not filled out so I don't know where you are in the process. The fact that he calls almost daily, tells you he loves you, sends money every month, and skypes shows something. Do you trust him? Stay positive be there for him and talk to him! My job is extremely demanding at certain times of the year even more so than others. He could be worn out, depressed, lonely from missing you, financially overwhelmed, visa process overwhelmed....I could go on and on. Talk, ask about the lack of communication, reassure him, and ask him what you can do to make things better.

[NikLR 13,220]

Just to note the OP is not anywhere in the process. She wants her boyfriend to file a petition for her but currently he isn't do so.

[meowmeow123 1]

Its his bday yesterday and I was expecting he would want us to have few hours together on that special time. But I waited all day and no call at all. Thank you guys. I dont think would hire a private investigator haha! Either he wants me

Or not. Right now, he's not even putting aside time to deal with the visa. I think he just doesnt have the balls to tell me the truth. Either way, i dont want to deal with anymore.

[marymon 15]

Listen to your heart...

[uniquelyJo 34]

If you are feeling neglected than you need to open up that conversation again and tell him how he is making you feel. Just come out with the questions you want to know the answers too....open communication is essential in all relationships. If he can't answer you or just brushes off your feelings, then you need to think long and hard about how you are feeling not his feelings for you.

[usmsbow 795]

Its his bday yesterday and I was expecting he would want us to have few hours together on that special time. But I waited all day and no call at all. Thank you guys. I dont think would hire a private investigator haha! Either he wants me

Or not. Right now, he's not even putting aside time to deal with the visa. I think he just doesnt have the balls to tell me the truth. Either way, i dont want to deal with anymore.

So at this point, what is your motivation to stay together? Sounds like a relationship that is now on life support. Just my 2 cents.

[CowBoE 429]

It's not 100% clear, so I'll ask...

Who's the US citizen? You or him?

How many times (and how many days) did you two meet physically?

Based on what you described, I wouldn't quite jump to the conclusion

that he's not interested in you...if he's still calling you and sending money to you.

But it does seem like he has cooled down some.

Setup a time where you guys can talk for longer period of time,

and ask him direct questions about...

1) How committed he is to you

2) When (specific time frame) he can file

3) If he needs more time think about the relationship and future

[Teddy B 17,251]

I don't know many guys who think like this. It's very possessive to think someone should be reachable at any time. I have days where I can't talk at all because I'm busy and won't look at a text or anything. Also my fiance went a week or two when she was on a vacation and couldn't talk to me, it's not the end of the world. Perhaps his life is changing and he doesn't want to move anymore, you should talk to him about it and not ask strangers on a forum. He is just a boyfriend.

With today's technology there is simply no excuse to not be reachable other than you don't want to be. The only excepetion would be traveling somewhere out of your service area, but even then for a few bucks your service can be changed temporarily. When someone says they were too busy to answer a text, they are lying plain and simple. It takes all of 30 seconds to respond to a text.

ETA: The above message in no way advocates stalking.

Edited April 29, 2015 by Teddy B

[usmsbow 795]

It's not 100% clear, so I'll ask...

Who's the US citizen? You or him?

He is. She states that he returned ("came back" in her words) to the USA after visiting her.

And it sounds like they only met once, and it was in February. I'm guessing the visit made him less enthusiastic and he's either a) trying to figure things out or b) has mentally moved on but hasn't, to use her term, "had the balls" to tell her yet.

[rlogan 2,036]

With today's technology there is simply no excuse to not be reachable other than you don't want to be...

It takes all of 30 seconds to respond to a text.

Exactly so, and it is at our convenience. Not reachable for the most important person in our lives on our birthday....

She's obviously figured this out now.

[nane1104 146]

I don't want to sound mean, is it possible that he needs some space or feels rushed? You have been talking about filing but you aren't even engaged yet?

I'm having the feeling you both are not on the same page to where your relationship stands and I'd be really curious to hear is side in this matter.

He still sends money, so you must mean something to him, but I do agree that if you cannot reach him at all and he is calling less and less,mthat there is something to talk about.

Maybe email him about how you feel and see what he says but in the meantime don't even try to call him and see what happens. I'm wishing you all the best, long distance relationships can be so challenging!

[Ilovemyman 147]

He has someone else, that is the reaction when the person has another woman or men on his /her life.

So move on, or continue getting his money but thinking that the relationship isnt working