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JJSims

I think my wife is cheating on me.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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This is what the OP wrote : " Someone I know and trust who lives in the same area as her has seen her together with another man, they were kissing and not in a friendly way either."

Not far fetched at all, people living in the same area frequent the same area and it is not unusual at all living in NYC or Timbaktu.

The odds are very high and not very low but if people don't read a post carefully and put a spin on it then it gets twisted and everyone runs with it.

Getting into a little trouble would be spilling coffee on myself or even getting a speeding ticket but downplaying sleeping around ? Seriously ?

To each his own but that is a deal beaker for me and I don't play with my health like that.

We have very different experiences then, I never see people I know when I am out and about. I would be weary, plus with everyone having cell phones now if I noticed something like that I would at least snap a photo if I thought it were my business which really it wouldn't be. It just seems off to me for some reason, unless he hired a investigator or had her followed which in that case the relationship is probably doomed anyway. It is much healthier to be having sex then not having sex at all, that's just a fact. Some couples even have open relationships, I'm just saying it's not the end of the world I would at least go and figure out if the relationship is over or not.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
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We have very different experiences then, I never see people I know when I am out and about. I would be weary, plus with everyone having cell phones now if I noticed something like that I would at least snap a photo if I thought it were my business which really it wouldn't be. It just seems off to me for some reason, unless he hired a investigator or had her followed which in that case the relationship is probably doomed anyway. It is much healthier to be having sex then not having sex at all, that's just a fact. Some couples even have open relationships, I'm just saying it's not the end of the world I would at least go and figure out if the relationship is over or not.

Being "open" about it and knowing ahead of time what your spouse is into would definitely be transparent as opposed to the OP

finding out (if it's true) that she is a cheater and he said it hurts him so they don't have an "open" relationship.

As to it being much healthier having sex than not having it.....sure as long as it's not on the expense of your spouse because it is not

healthy for OP's emotional well being at all and he has no idea if she picks up STD's. That's just crazy.

She doesn't seem to be the kind of person to say oh honey I had an affair and now have a STD and welcome to America but keep it all

to herself and risk his health too. OP is not open to anything but her faithfulness and honesty and that is definitely not too much to ask.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Sweden
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I have been married awhile I was young, yes I creeped once

not for love or anything than was alone for awhile, and it

happened . heck of a guilt trip I can tell you, my wife never found

out its been years and never happened again. OP is not concern

mainly about GC its about is wife cheating, I will not make excuses

for her but do you know studies have shown 82% of wives have cheated

at least once.....whether ppl want to believe or admit it....survey was

anonymously done.

So OP go to your interview , have a chat with your wife and see

where things are, take your mind off the bad news, it will cause

distrust, and suspicions...and U may have even stepped out yourself

but you will never tell. Cheating is wrong but in the real world it happens

and as someone said NY is so big theres 5 boros, how convienent. Was It

to change your mind from going to the interview & casting a shadow

on your marriage...maybe that person life is miserable

That's BS. 82% is totally made up.





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That's BS. 82% is totally made up.

Makes you wonder where this anonymous study was (supposedly) done. And the sample size. 82% is crazy.

K1 Visa Process AOS Process

Mar 18 2013: I-129F mailed to CSC Nov 15 2013: I-485 with EAD/AP filed at Chicago Lockbox

Sept 19 2013: Interview - Approved!! Jan 25 2014: EAD/AP Card Received

Oct 6 2013: POE - Chicago O'Hare June 2 2014: Permanent Resident Card Received!

Oct 27 2013: Wedding!

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Filed: Timeline

This is a study I was reading, I have to make no excuses I am no saint like many others claim ,

so I can man up to a wrong I did once in my younger years, I am a realist, ppl should ask themselves

with all the cheating out there who are these men cheating with 2% of women? why do angry

ppl get online and show how abusive they can be , if ones opinion differs..amazing!

OP I say sit and reason with your wife and if counseling is acceptable do that, I am a loyal man

to my wife in everyway than some saints. Life is real with curves and if not disrespected in your

face learn to forgive, god forgive some of us a thousand times a day...prove for yourself if its true

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Just because someone was cheating on their significant other doesn't mean the person they were cheating with was also cheating. A married adult can cheat with another adult who is not in a relationship. That means only 1 person in the affair was actually cheating.

If you're going to state percentages that are apparently facts from a study, it's a good idea to link to that study to back up your statement.

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.  - Dr. Seuss

 

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
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This is a study I was reading, I have to make no excuses I am no saint like many others claim ,

so I can man up to a wrong I did once in my younger years, I am a realist, ppl should ask themselves

with all the cheating out there who are these men cheating with 2% of women? why do angry

ppl get online and show how abusive they can be , if ones opinion differs..amazing!

OP I say sit and reason with your wife and if counseling is acceptable do that, I am a loyal man

to my wife in everyway than some saints. Life is real with curves and if not disrespected in your

face learn to forgive, god forgive some of us a thousand times a day...prove for yourself if its true

No one is claiming to be a saint though many of us just don't cheat but that doesn't make one a saint.

Hats off to you manning up and admitting a wrong but you seem to want to soften the cheating with a percentage that people here don't believe

is that high as you gave no link to support it as I did. Different studies different results but never that high from different sources of studies I have come

across.

People aren't angry and abusive to you here but just can't accept the 82% that's all.

If a person is asked to forgive they first have to have knowledge of the affair and then should be respected enough

for the freedom to chose for themselves to stay or leave.

OP has not had this transparency and admission and regret from her, only suspected creeping around.

You also stated that you did not admit the cheating to your then partner but that is up to you and nobody's business.

Personally I am all for being an open book and give someone the gift of choice rather than withhold such an act based on what they

won't know won't hurt them.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Share on other sites

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Sweden
Timeline

This is a study I was reading, I have to make no excuses I am no saint like many others claim ,

so I can man up to a wrong I did once in my younger years, I am a realist, ppl should ask themselves

with all the cheating out there who are these men cheating with 2% of women? why do angry

ppl get online and show how abusive they can be , if ones opinion differs..amazing!

OP I say sit and reason with your wife and if counseling is acceptable do that, I am a loyal man

to my wife in everyway than some saints. Life is real with curves and if not disrespected in your

face learn to forgive, god forgive some of us a thousand times a day...prove for yourself if its true

Then please post a link to this research. Was this a scientific peer reviewed study?

You talk about forgiveness yet you didn't tell your wife so she had the opportunity to decide if she wanted to forgive...





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