Wife ran off, got pregnant, blackmailing me into "helping" her get green card

[nyk349 9]

Current wife arrived here on a K1 visa 12/2013, we got married, and she received two-year conditional green card expiring 9/2016.

11/2014 she runs off and cuts off all communication with me. She mails divorce papers to me -- twice -- which I promptly sign and mail back. I figure she ran off, let her pay for it. Big mistake. Months go by and I hear nothing. I have no proof of divorce but I do have a dramatic voice mail around January saying she's going back to China. I think she's gone.

Two weeks ago she calls me saying she wants to be "friends" because, after a four-year relationship, I am like her "family." But her language is highly suspicious. Keeps making allusions to "problems" she is having, "issues" she has, and how it's "pretty bad, I'd rather not tell you."

Long story short.

She is five months pregnant. It's not mine. She left 11/20 and told me she discovered her pregnancy on 12/25. Is due 8/16.

She wants me to remain married to her in order for her to get the 10-year green card (as if that would help). Wait, it gets better. She also wants to put my name down on the birth certificate. "I can do a DNA test later and show you're not the dad," but in the meanwhile she wants my help so she can lie to immigration. Again, as if that would help.

I become predictably furious and refuse. She tries to threaten me. "I can still say it's yours and, until there's a DNA test, you'll be paying all the lawyer fees." There's more. "I could take you to court and take half your money but I'm nice."

I begin a lucrative career in a matter of months once I am done with a series of rigorous examinations (finance-related) and she knows it. Before I coaxed the truth out of her, she kept saying, "Don't worry about it. I'm doing well. I'll take care of it. You just concentrate on your third exam." "Don't worry about me, just focus on your third exam." "When will you take the third exam?" "I'll tell you what's wrong after you're done with your third exam."

Sounds to me like she not only wants to make me the official father of her spawn, but is possibly planning on cashing in on me as well. She seems to be disregarding the fact that we could easily have a DNA test right away, show she committed adultery, that she abandoned the marriage, and that she is practically blackmailing me--or, at least, attempting to intimidate me--into helping her commit immigration fraud.

Lastly, I'll point out the obvious: even if, in some fictional universe, I were to agree to remain married and pretend this unfortunate child is mine, immigration would just swallow it? As usual, she has no idea what she's doing and has no real plan.

I'm having a lawyer consultation this week but I would also like the feedback of the VJ members.

What should be my next step?

More importantly, if she did decide to get nasty, could she do anything to hurt me? The lawyer says I need to divorce before the child is out or my name could end up on the birth certificate.

Another question: is what she is doing immigration fraud at this moment? I should point out that I do not believe she married me for the green card, even if everyone I know says she does. We were together FOUR YEARS. I just find it hard to believe. What I think happened is, after she left me, she figured, "I'm already here. Citizenship is valuable, after all. I might as well fight for it now that I'm here." Is this technically fraud? Should I report it to USCIS and, if so, what PROOF would I give them that it's fraud?

Thanks for any feedback.

Edited April 20, 2015 by nyk349

[Ronn63 41]

Don't walk...RUN to your attorney. File for a divorce quick. She's already sent you divorce papers, which you signed. That's proof that she abandoned the marriage, right? Also, get an infopass at your local immigration office and explain the whole thing to them. And, yes, get DNA proof the child is not yours.

Good luck!!

[Cathi 5,609]

Didn't you save a copy of the divorce papers she sent and you signed?

[nyk349 9]

HAHA! pdking really made me laugh. thanks.

Yes, I have a lawyer consultation this week and I'm springing into immediate action once I've spoken with them and gotten some hard, professional advice. I'm aware of the InfoPass appointment option and I'll be getting to that very soon.

Yes, I have the divorce papers she sent me. I didn't mention that she sent me divorce papers twice, I sent them back twice but she says she hasn't received either. But you know what's curious? Listen to this.

The second time I sent the papers back, I figured there was some issue with her mailing address, so I made it so that only she could sign. This was early January. A month ago, that envelope showed back up in my mailbox. Now, check this out: the address she had put on the divorce papers was that of a friend (some nice, old guy, as she put it), she did not actually live there, therefore wasn't present to sign, right? However: on this same envelope, it shows that it WAS forwarded to her current address.

You know what I think? By that time she knew she was pregnant and had already changed her mind. I think the mailman found her home, and she either refused to sign and receive it or said, "No, this person doesn't live here."

In any event, I have the envelope with the dated stamps and the forwarding addresses on it.

[Cathi 5,609]

the signed divorced papers sent by her is good proof that she was the one who initiated the divorce

[nyk349 9]

mimo, I didn't save a copy of the FIRST divorce papers she sent. Those showed up on USPS tracking as accepted by this friend of hers at the address she'd put on it. She says he never gave anything to her.

I do have the original papers she sent the second time with the early January date, though, since these were returned to me as undeliverable.

That's a lovely house. She was pissed I didn't buy her a house and we lived in a small New York apartment. But she couldn't even keep a small refrigerator clean and she thought I'd get her a big house and a maid. Cracked eggs sitting in the fridge for days, mouldy yoghurt, rotting vegetable particles on the bottom. "How are we going to buy a house and have children when we can't even manage a tiny apartment in New York City?" I said. Her response? "When we get a house we'll have a maid."

Edited April 20, 2015 by nyk349

[kzielu 1,147]

Attorney and if you're not divorced, do that immediately.

[nyk349 9]

kzielu,

What if she refuses to sign the divorce papers, and says, "I'll take you to court for half you got"? Though I don't see why she would. Her goal is not to preserve our marriage, obviously, but to get the green card. Pretending she's married to me and pretending I'm the one who impregnated her will do nothing for her case. But, like I said, she is uninformed and ill-thought out.

Edited April 20, 2015 by nyk349

[nyk349 9]

Correction. I have signed and notarized divorce papers by her on 12/17. Hahaha.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Another question: is what she is doing immigration fraud at this moment? I should point out that I do not believe she married me for the green card, even if everyone I know says she does. We were together FOUR YEARS. I just find it hard to believe. What I think happened is, after she left me, she figured, "I'm already here. Citizenship is valuable, after all. I might as well fight for it now that I'm here." Is this technically fraud? Should I report it to USCIS and, if so, what PROOF would I give them that it's fraud?

If it is not fraud for green card, why would she run off without clear communication with you to dissolve the marriage.

Never heard of Jiang Taigong Fishing, Those Who Are Willing to Hook?

All it takes is patience.

[Cathi 5,609]

mimo, I didn't save a copy of the FIRST divorce papers she sent. Those showed up on USPS tracking as accepted by this friend of hers at the address she'd put on it. She says he never gave anything to her.

I do have the original papers she sent the second time with the early January date, though, since these were returned to me as undeliverable.

That's a lovely house. She was pissed I didn't buy her a house and we lived in a small New York apartment. But she couldn't even keep a small refrigerator clean and she thought I'd get her a big house and a maid. Cracked eggs sitting in the fridge for days, mouldy yoghurt, rotting vegetable particles on the bottom. "How are we going to buy a house and have children when we can't even manage a tiny apartment in New York City?" I said. Her response? "When we get a house we'll have a maid."

Thank you, my husband wanted a bigger house, I told him I didn't want a bigger house because I didn't want to clean a bigger house. Seems like she was only after material things, sorry for that. Out of curiosity, what country is she from?

[N&S 32]

This might be naive - but why don't YOU just file the divorce papers that are sitting at your place if she'd already signed them. You might have to pay the filing fee, but should still be less than if she dragged things out and you start your new career.

Re what she could potentially do to you: She could claim physical abuse and file for removal of conditions under VAWA - be careful not to be alone with her. (Check the forum for people who've been taken for that by searing for VAWA).

I'd file the papers you have (keep the envelope etc an make copies before you do) and get her out of your life ASAP. If she can prove that you have both entered the marriage legitimately she could probably still remove conditions by herself but that wouldn't really be your problem anymore (though not sure about the affidavit of support if she uses means tested benefits).

Sorry you're going through this!

Edited April 20, 2015 by N&S

[nyk349 9]

N&S,

The signed and notarized papers I have from her is a copy, not the original. The original I had mailed back to her (the one she claims she never received). Specifically it's page 2 of 2 of form UD-2.

I guess that'll be also something to run by the lawyer. If I have complete paperwork and, if the photocopy is acceptable (since it's not the original notary stamp), I'm filing immediately and serving her.

I won't be alone with her. I have not seen her since 11/20 and I'm keeping it that way.

Ironically, this entire time she's been living two blocks away. Hilarious stuff.

Oh, and to answer the other part of your question. I have not filed them yet because I want to make sure, if she decides to contest this divorce for some reason, that she cannot hurt me. This is why I'm waiting to see the lawyer this week.

If she can prove that you have both entered the marriage legitimately she could probably still remove conditions by herself but that wouldn't really be your problem anymore

That's where the plot thickens. If she weren't impregnated, she could divorce me right now, only provide proof for the eleven months we were together, and apply immediately for the 10-year card without having to wait until 9/2016. But...she received a present from a stranger less than a month after leaving me... How does she explain that? Hence, I receive the phone call where she wants to force me to pretend it's mine.

In her mind, she is thinking, "No matter what has happened, at least my sacrifice will be worth it if I get this green card."

Edited April 20, 2015 by nyk349

[Yurika & Jim 77]

Out of curiosity, what country is she from?

I do have a dramatic voice mail around January saying she's going back to China.

[nyk349 9]

If it is not fraud for green card, why would she run off without clear communication with you to dissolve the marriage.

I wouldn't say that. She left because we were both unhappy with each other and argued constantly. I failed to mention that and, I guess, made it sound like everything was fine and one day she disappeared.

Difficult to provide every detail a forum post. heh