Spouse left for two months

[Sad and Blue 0]

I am writing out of pain and extreme distress. My husband the US citizen and I have been married for a year. We had an argument that turned really ugly and he left me to return to his parents place. I am left to struggle with rent as I now have to cover the full cost. Initially we split the rental. He took his things and moved out on a day when I was at work. I have been struggling to cope with his loss and also the fear of being alone in a country I hardly have friends. My job has recently cut back on hours and I am having a tough time looking for a new place to live due to the expensive rentals in the city. The current landlord is already showing the place to prospective renters and I am constantly pressured to move out. I cant afford the current place as I have used up my deposit to pay for this months rental. And I dont have enough to put on a new place. I am one step from being homeless and it is an extremely scary thought.

My husband wants a divorce but he is sitting on it. He even left his job to go back to his hometown. Left the city without any trace. He doesnt answer calls and when he speaks to me he is rough and rude. I am afraid and feel very alone and pressured here. Some nights I'd lie awake and my heart would beat so loudly due to anxiety.

What are my rights? He did sign the affidavit of support and how far does that cover me? Can someone be so easily victimized and what laws are there to protect me? I dont know who to turn to.

When our argument turned ugly he pushed me on the road and I hurt my hand. He even restrained me, leaving marks. I am not saying he abused me but he was very rough on me and hurt me physically. At that time I didnt file report cause I was afraid and didnt know what to do.

I am thinking of making an appointment with an immigration officer in the local office in my city. Is this a wise idea? Can someone please help me with some pointers.

[NancyNguyen 1,657]

If there is no way to help marriage, divorce then file removal of condition with waiver. You can't force him to support you, you can apply for food stamp and housing on your own. It is doubted someone will hold him accountable, there has been no one was sued by U.S. Government due to i864.

[TBoneTX 43,020]

*** Thread moved from ROC forum to the Effects of Major Changes forum, where similar issues are discussed. ***

[belinda63 2,981]

You have been married for a year and you have your green card. If he won't file for divorce you can. As far as any support goes that would be decided during the divorce action.

[katiana_ramirez 1]

oh my God sorry to hear that

don't feel alone we are all with you; what state are you living now?

you can look at (community legal aid) there are on every state in usa they help women like your case, ask them before you do any thing

i know it's so hard i'm here if you need anyhing

[SBB 74]

If both of your names are still on the lease, both of you are responsible for the rent (and it shouldn't be that hard to get him to cough up in the divorce settlement.)

[Sad and Blue 0]

The landlord released him from the lease. My husband gave a month's notice and then left. I am now paying the full amount and struggling. I reside in SF and rent it pretty high here even for a room.

I have no intention of divorcing as I feel given time I may be able to work this out. However my husband may feel differently and reacts out of anger. I hear California is a no fault divorce state and that he can divorce without my signature. Is this true?

I am wondering how much weight the affidavit of support holds as I have heard conflicting views on these. Some say he can be sued while others said no. Any proven cases out there?

I dont want his money but just want to know what my rights are. He has left his job and currently doesnt own one and as such there isnt any income on his part. Divorce is the last case scenario for me but he is being uncommunicative to me.

Edited April 20, 2015 by Sad and Blue

[Ontarkie 13,903]

I'm sorry this is happening, you may want to look for a roommate that could help with the rent or find a place that is looking for a roommate.

I wouldn't waste your time trying to figure out if you can sue him. He's not working what are you hoping to get from someone with no job or money? Heck he could go after you for support as you are working. That is not likely going to happen but weirder things have happen.

[Golden Gate 530]

Haven't lived in SF for a while, but there used to be a place called Roommate Referral. I think they sold their business, but try some of these links to advertise for a roommate. Do you have two bedrooms? http://www.sfmission.com/rentals/

[Golden Gate 530]

Also, SF is outrageously expensive for housing, so if the landlord is looking for someone else, he will probably evict you as soon as possible, so you have to move quickly. If you can't find a roommate, you must go to social services to apply for assistance and consider moving to Oakland. Look for roommate options in Oakland.

Also, look at this Southeast Asian Meet Up site: You can meet other people from your country, and I see people are posting they need a place to live, etc.

http://www.meetup.com/SFSEAexpat/boards/?pager.offset=20

and another group:

http://www.meetup.com/San-Francisco-SAS/

Edited April 21, 2015 by Golden Gate

[Sandra G. 5,009]

You survived without him helping you financially until you met him right? then you can continue surviving without him! I could understand if you are married 7/10/20 years or have children with him and then you need his help, it's not your case considering what you posted here. Find a roommate or rent a room for you.We can't control how other people act or what they do,but we can control how to react, that being said divorce him, and move on.

Go to the Immigration for what? they answer questions just regarding immigration.

[Sad and Blue 0]

Thank you for all your advice especially "Golden Gate". The meetup group and social services advice is useful. As for room mates, the landlord wont allow me to look for another unfortunately. He is already found someone to take over I think.

Sandranj, I am going to immigration to ask what is the affidavit of support for and if someone cannot be held accountable for their immigrant spouse then what is the purpose of this form? Like I said, I dont want his money but I'd like knowledge on my rights.

[*Snowdrop* 603]

Thank you for all your advice especially "Golden Gate". The meetup group and social services advice is useful. As for room mates, the landlord wont allow me to look for another unfortunately. He is already found someone to take over I think.

Sandranj, I am going to immigration to ask what is the affidavit of support for and if someone cannot be held accountable for their immigrant spouse then what is the purpose of this form? Like I said, I dont want his money but I'd like knowledge on my rights.

The purpose of the form is to stop the immigrant costing the American taxpayer any money. It is to stop the immigrant being a burden on society if they need to claim any benefits or welfare.

It means if you successfully claim and receive any government benefits then the government can get that money back from the sponsor.

It does not guarantee the immigrant any money from the sponsor.

If you can't reconcile with your husband you need to focus on how to survive here on your own. That includes immigration issues such as removing conditions on your green card on your own. And then you will have the ten year greencard - you can choose to move to somewhere cheaper to live it that helps your economic situation.

[Sad and Blue 0]

Thank you for the clarification. Much obliged.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

You should focus on gather evidence for bona fide marriage and prepare to file I-751 with divorce waiver.