32 year age gap - older American woman

[TBoneTX 43,048]

1. I'm sure you're just worrying for nothing though.

2. You'll be fine as long as you prepare and read up on the process.

1. She's worrying about what can be a very big Something.

2. No one can say this with assurance -- she's referring to the consular process, which is never to be taken lightly.

[Moderator hat on]

Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to Embassy/Consulate forum -- OP is thinking ahead to the consular stage.

[usmsbow 795]

For what should I read worst stories? How will I benefit from that?

To be aware of the worst case scenerio. Better prepared that way and less likely to be blind sided by something unforeseen. Much more useful than the best stories, which generally are "The interview was easy and I got my visa with no problem!!" Great for that couple, but not very useful in preparing yourself.

[jessiepatt 7]

Gotcha. Now I get it. I started reading th and they are very informative. Thank you, usmsbow.

[TBoneTX 43,048]

*** Thread moved from K-1 Process forum to the Embassy/Consulate forum and merged with parallel thread -- OP's concern is the consular stage. ***

[jessiepatt 7]

Thanks for showing me where the thread is, TBone TX.

We both are praying and hoping for a swift, successful outcome. I am also determined to prepare, as best I can, for the worst.

Thanks to both of you for weighing in!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

The age difference where you are the woman is older will be a red-flag.

The short length of time between meeting and engagement will be a red flag.

The short time spent in person together will be a red flag.

Do you share a similar culture heritage or background? If not, this will also be another red flag.

I am not trying to frighten you but you do need to be aware that this Consulate is a tough one - one of the toughest - at which to obtain a fiance visa. Your situation is going to be closely scrutinized. The Consulate will be looking at his culture and background and both of your individual circumstances trying to determine if this is an honest relationship motivated by love . . . or is it something else.

You need to know what red flags or potential red flags you have in your situation because he will be questioned about them, and you both need to be aware of the questions they are allowed to ask and probably will ask so you can both be prepared. Unfortunately, love is not enough. The more you know about this process, especially as it relates to men from Ghana, the better you will be prepared to handle any problems and red flags that may come up.

I know you will not want to think about this or hear this, but you need to. This is what the Consulate is going to be thinking and if you are to be successful in your visa request, you need to be able to address their concerns. The experience of many of our members has shown that the more aware you are going into this process the better chance you stand of succeeding.

Good luck .

Edited April 17, 2015 by Kathryn41

[jessiepatt 7]

Thank you, so very much, Kathryn41. What you wrote is pretty much the sense I have. Has been making my head spin! We have a common Christian faith, love of music, children, and close family relations. That could be a good place to start. Proving our relationship is real? That seems so odd and vague to me. Love IS what we are experiencing, but love is sort of an invisible spirit. So that's why any and all advise is so helpful right now. Thanks again.

[UnaMexicana 153]

Why would the age difference when a woman is older would be a red flag? I have read on this site about a few "serial K1ers" picking up girls from dating websites, approved. They might have with huge age gaps and are still approved once, twice, etc. when the relationships fall through.

Good to be informed, but also to realize that if the love is there and is real, you have a great advantage.

Also have you considered moving there? Elsewhere?

UnaMexicana

[ChicagoSarah 127]

Why would the age difference when a woman is older would be a red flag? I have read on this site about a few "serial K1ers" picking up girls from dating websites, approved. They might have with huge age gaps and are still approved once, twice, etc. when the relationships fall through.

Good to be informed, but also to realize that if the love is there and is real, you have a great advantage.

Also have you considered moving there? Elsewhere?

UnaMexicana

It's a red flag if it's culturally not the norm. For cultures that are heavily family/having children oriented, a young man marrying an older woman (likely outside of child-bearing age), is against the cultural norms and causes a red flag.

[pdking5000 56]

to be honest, I think you should see each other once more before filing the petition. It will strengthen your case considerably. Ghana is a very difficult embassy.

Edited April 17, 2015 by pdking5000

[Sharon&josh 6]

Ya I think that this is the hardest thing to 'prove' I mean what feels real to us and having to prove it to someone else is impossible. All I can think is why didn't I take more photos when we were together, but i mean I am more in the habit of living my life that worrying about getting photos of it.

I know something that I started doing since my fiance moved home, he used to live and work in Ireland, (for my own personal collection rather than anything) is when I miss him too much, or he is doing something silly (like that one time he had a rubix cube on his head and looked like a rubix unicorn) I take a screen shot of our video chat. It make me feel like we can take pictures even if not together. And sending letters is a big thing as they take more time and effort than emails.

If you can, another visit to him would help, and for longer, it wont only strengthen your case but will help develop a stronger bond between the two of you

[jessiepatt 7]

Yes, yes. The child bearing issue did challenge us, and we found resolution to it. It feels like an extremely private thing to share in the interview, however. But there are aspects I think he could speak to. Someone else also advised me to go once more, so...I will seriously speak to him about y'all's advice tonight. That boils down to earning the extra funds, very quickly. Thanks again!

[ChicagoSarah 127]

Good luck with everything!

[jessiepatt 7]

Another visit, it seems is the hot topic! YAY!!!! Now I have more than just my aching whining to speak to him about!!! Sharon&josh

[jessiepatt 7]

UnaMexicana. Yes, your point is beautifully made. Stupid cultural norms. Sad, but true. We've talked about me going to live in Ghana, but it seems unrealistic for a couple reasons. Main one is my daughter's schooling & social life. She's 9. But I would do it if it became the only way to live in our future marriage.