My USC Husband Does Not Want to Sign I-864

[JohnR! 5,495]

The paradox is that by marrying you he assumed a far greater financial risk than his signature on the I-864 will entail. My first suggestion would have been that he asked an immigration lawyer to explain to him what the I-864 entails but since that has already been done, my assumption is that his intentions towards you are less than honest.

His actions - of lack thereof - also create a problem for your son if you were to stay in the country illegally. At some point he would most likely have issues attending college and preparing for a life he may aspire if he should not have a greencard. It's a bad scenario for you and a terrible one for your kid. Your husband is being not only irresponsible but also cruel.

There is a common K-1 scam where USC husbands refuse to marry their K-1 brides or complete their AOS after marriage, which renders their foreign spouses dependent on them for everything. These are relegated to a life of abuse and the constant reminder of the threat of deportation, by their own husbands.

I would strongly urge that you try and reason with your husband once again and remind him he is putting the future of your son in jeopardy with his actions. If he still refuses to sign the document, file for divorce and consider getting counsel and self-petition for your AOS - check the link below:

http://www.uscis.gov/i-360

I can only hope your husband comes to his senses.

Makes a lot of sense, thank you. It's really weird. He seems to have a different mindset about it. Hoping that there is a way for us to stay after divorce, but I do not exactly know what to do. Might get harder for me and my son. So first option is to go back to our home country.

Edited April 16, 2015 by JohnR!

[McBy 1]

Thank you. The irony is that my husband is generally mellow. Not physically nor verbally abusive but he seems to have a different way of thinking. He seems really fine, good man... But it's just so weird that he would not sign the affidavit and then say that it would be my choice to leave.

Will check on the self petition but if it seems overwhelming I might just go home. Thank you very much.

The paradox is that by marrying you he assumed a far greater financial risk than his signature on the I-864 will entail. My first suggestion would have been that he asked an immigration lawyer to explain to him what the I-864 entails but since that has already been done, my assumption is that his intentions towards you are less than honest.

His actions - of lack thereof - also create a problem for your son if you were to stay in the country illegally. At some point he would most likely have issues attending college and preparing for a life he may aspire if he should not have a greencard. It's a bad scenario for you and a terrible one for your kid. Your husband is being not only irresponsible but also cruel.

There is a common K-1 scam where USC husbands refuse to marry their K-1 brides or complete their AOS after marriage, which renders their foreign spouses dependent on them for everything. These are relegated to a life of abuse and the constant reminder of the threat of deportation, by their own husbands.

I would strongly urge that you try and reason with your husband once again and remind him he is putting the future of your son in jeopardy with his actions. If he still refuses to sign the document, file for divorce and consider getting counsel and self-petition for your AOS - check the link below:

http://www.uscis.gov/i-360

I can only hope your husband comes to his senses.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

If he still refuses to sign the document, file for divorce and consider getting counsel and self-petition for your AOS - check the link below:

http://www.uscis.gov/i-360

I can only hope your husband comes to his senses.

How does OP going to self-petition for AOS?

Sandranj had said before that USC refusing to file AOS is not ground for VAWA.

[novedsac 355]

His actions - of lack thereof - also create a problem for your son if you were to stay in the country illegally. At some point he would most likely have issues attending college and preparing for a life he may aspire if he should not have a greencard. It's a bad scenario for you and a terrible one for your kid. Your husband is being not only irresponsible but also cruel.

The issues will start before college ... most states do not allow one to obtain a driver's license without legal residence. He won't have a SSN which allows work, so forget about the summer job. Without a legal, state-issued ID the boy won't even be able to sit for the SAT in many locales. Travel internationally won't be possible and travelling anywhere near the border could be trouble too.

I agree ... whilst the I864 language may seem harsh, it's really not much to worry about. If a couple were to stay married for, for example, five years or more, then there's far more to worry about a judge granting spousal support based on the marriage and other factors rather than the I864. And if the husband is concerned about the government coming after him for reimbursement of means-tested benefits, then he should provide what he needs to keep his wife and step-son fed, housed, healthy and educated.

[JohnR! 5,495]

IMHO, that is a choice you should consider exercising. If not for your own sake, then for your son's. If he cares that much for you, he should have never married you.

Thank you. The irony is that my husband is generally mellow. Not physically nor verbally abusive but he seems to have a different way of thinking. He seems really fine, good man... But it's just so weird that he would not sign the affidavit and then say that it would be my choice to leave.

Will check on the self petition but if it seems overwhelming I might just go home. Thank you very much.

Edited April 16, 2015 by JohnR!

[Boiler 43,393]

How does OP going to self-petition for AOS?

Sandranj had said before that USC refusing to file AOS is not ground for VAWA.

I am intrigued as well, on what basis?

[JohnR! 5,495]

If he is worried about the financial implications, he probably doesn't understand that a good lawyer can take him to the cleaners with a litigious divorce..

The issues will start before college ... most states do not allow one to obtain a driver's license without legal residence. He won't have a SSN which allows work, so forget about the summer job. Without a legal, state-issued ID the boy won't even be able to sit for the SAT in many locales. Travel internationally won't be possible and travelling anywhere near the border could be trouble too.

I agree ... whilst the I864 language may seem harsh, it's really not much to worry about. If a couple were to stay married for, for example, five years or more, then there's far more to worry about a judge granting spousal support based on the marriage and other factors rather than the I864. And if the husband is concerned about the government coming after him for reimbursement of means-tested benefits, then he should provide what he needs to keep his wife and step-son fed, housed, healthy and educated.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I would seek legal counsel for that. It's not a DIY process.

How does OP going to self-petition for AOS?

Sandranj had said before that USC refusing to file AOS is not ground for VAWA.

[Boiler 43,393]

I would seek legal counsel for that. It's not a DIY process.

Actually it usually is.

But give us a clue as to how she would be eligible? Interested minds would like to know?

[Umka36 781]

This is an examples on why I think they should put a mandatory timeframe on when a person needs to file the AOS. It's unfair to put the beneficiary in this predicament. Petitioning someone to the US is a privilege (even if some say it's their right), and should come with responsibilities.

It's annoying when the petitioner is worried about the I-864 obligation, but it's OK to put the financial responsibility on the US resident. Might as well just find someone in country if that is such a big concern. Sorry OP about my rant.

[JohnR! 5,495]

I agree. The 90-day window should be for getting married -and- submitting AOS application.

This is an examples on why I think they should put a mandatory timeframe on when a person needs to file the AOS. It's unfair to put the beneficiary in this predicament. Petitioning someone to the US is a privilege (even if some say it's their right), and should come with responsibilities.

It's annoying when the petitioner is worried about the I-864 obligation, but it's OK to put the financial responsibility on the US resident. Might as well just find someone in country if that is such a big concern. Sorry OP about my rant.

[yuna628 9,527]

OP my heart goes out to you in this situation but I urge you to think of yourself and your son. A marriage vow is a serious commitment, and though you say your husband is not physically or verbally abusive to you - what he is doing to you is effectively holding you and your child hostage and compelling you to break the law. It is a form of abuse. I know right now you have a lot to think about and get through, but you need to protect yourself. Your husband does not take his marriage vows and obligations or sacrifices you made to arrive here to be with him seriously. If he will not sign the form, then the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to get out of this situation, divorce and go home. This is not love. It is not even respect.

[Boiler 43,393]

He is not compelling her to break the law.

[yuna628 9,527]

He is not compelling her to break the law.

He is if he refuses to sign a document that in not doing so, will cause her and her child to be out of status -- especially if he believes it to be perfectly acceptable for her to be here illegally. He is basically twisting her arm here: ''no I won't sign X'' and I suspect if she obviously loves her husband is very well toying with her feelings here. He's making her choose between 'loving him' and doing as he wants her to (which will break the law) or leaving her in a complicated divorce situation. It's a little like emotional blackmail. Novedsac already explained why divorce would also be complicated for her too.

Edited April 16, 2015 by yuna628

[Boiler 43,393]

She knows how long she has to be here legally, if he will not sponsor her then she leaves.