Maryland 'Free Range' Kids: The Police Timeline of Events

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

this is the problem, what's within reason? i was raised by a helicoptor mom, my husband was raised that kids belong outside, and he spent his childhood roaming his suburb with his friends. so, to my mom - his parents were completely neglectful. i would argue that his parents did more to prepare him for real life than mine did.

Within reason would be that the parents know where the children are and that they have instilled basic stranger danger into their children. The parents should also be home or in some other nearby easily accessible to the children location (for example let's say there is an auto repair shop in the neighbourhood and the kids know that mum will be at home from one pm to two pm, then at the auto shop, then home by three pm, and all this is walking distance for the kids) or another trusted adult is accessible to them.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

the school is across the street, but the park isn't within view as it's down the hill a bit.

i had a friend kill herself over being charged with child neglect last fall. i think child neglect should be reserved for actual neglect. i'm biased i guess but i believe parents can't be judged so swiftly "oh your kid is in the middle of the street and you didn't know? neglect." i don't believe it's that cut and dry.

But you know when you send your kids purposely out of your site, to a park down the street. It is not as simple as a 2 year old dashing out into the street.

I am a parent. I would kill myself if something happen to my child and I could have prevented it, like letting them go down the street, to a park, unsupervised and some lunatic rapes and kills them. This things can be prevented.

I am sorry about your friend.

[decocker 7,198]

Within reason would be that the parents know where the children are and that they have instilled basic stranger danger into their children. The parents should also be home or in some other nearby easily accessible to the children location (for example let's say there is an auto repair shop in the neighbourhood and the kids know that mum will be at home from one pm to two pm, then at the auto shop, then home by three pm, and all this is walking distance for the kids) or another trusted adult is accessible to them.

http://juliasteiny.com/2012/07/19/tranger-danger-is-a-uniquely-american-insanity/

..because their parents are paralyzed with fears of “stranger danger.”

Actually the hoards of predators lying in wait to abduct children don’t exist. Stranger danger is a myth, a belief that has taken root in the collective parental consciousness, against all reason. Since the 1990s crime in general has consistently dropped, along with the tiny risk of abduction.

Kids are about 1,600 times more likely to be injured by a car than abducted. Yes, abductions do happen, but mostly by divorced or divorcing parents, or other family members engaged in some intrafamily dispute.

Kids are 40 times more likely to be killed in a car accident than killed by a “stranger,” who, when you look carefully, is often a relation, neighbor or other person known to the child. In the case of teenagers, “stranger” abductor/murderers include criminals and gang members whose victims have gotten themselves involved a deal gone bad.

Annually, only about 100 kids and youth fall into this last category.

The media never mentions how unusual such cases are when they milk every detail of a spectacular abduction case for weeks, if not months. It can feel like the Visigoths are blood-lusting for your child. They’re not. Yet believing the myth is a mark of a good parent.

[decocker 7,198]

But you know when you send your kids purposely out of your site, to a park down the street. It is not as simple as a 2 year old dashing out into the street.

I am a parent. I would kill myself if something happen to my child and I could have prevented it, like letting them go down the street, to a park, unsupervised and some lunatic rapes and kills them. This things can be prevented.

I am sorry about your friend.

thanks, i think she killed herself more over the media shaming than anything else. all the local news stations, even a state over in wva, picked up her mugshot. suddenly 'everyone knew' she was a 'bad parent'. and now her kid gets to grow up with no mom at all. it all seems counterproductive considering most people who were jumping to shame her online by now, have forgotten she or her daughter even exist(ed).

[Janelle2002 3,865]

thanks, i think she killed herself more over the media shaming than anything else. all the local news stations, even a state over in wva, picked up her mugshot. suddenly 'everyone knew' she was a 'bad parent'. and now her kid gets to grow up with no mom at all. it all seems counterproductive considering most people who were jumping to shame her online by now, have forgotten she or her daughter even exist(ed).

Of course. Easy to vilify someone else, never around when a mother needs help. That is life. Having children are scary. You have to worry about soo much when it comes to their safety, including the people who mean well that don't know jack chyt.

[decocker 7,198]

Of course. Easy to vilify someone else, never around when a mother needs help. That is life. Having children are scary. You have to worry about soo much when it comes to their safety, including the people who mean well that don't know jack chyt.

i feel like it's more important to raise a kid to be able to keep themselves safe than to worry yourself to death over keeping them safe yourself. i don't like the idea of allowing whatever current parenting trend is the majority to determine what is acceptable or not.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

i feel like it's more important to raise a kid to be able to keep themselves safe than to worry yourself to death over keeping them safe yourself. i don't like the idea of allowing whatever current parenting trend is the majority to determine what is acceptable or not.

Yes, but worrying yourself is inevitable.

I don't like the trend either.

I have a neighbor who works at night. When she moved in, he kids were 8 and 9. She has been leaving them at home, at night alone, before she moved by us. I don't know how she works at night. One night they came to my door screaming because their house was smoking and fire was coming out of the oven. The mother had turned the oven on before she left to keep the place warm because the heater had went out, but the oven wasn't clean. It was food, oil and stuff in the bottom from the kids trying to cook over a time period and it smoked up the house. Had I not been there, her kids would have had to call 911 by themselves and stand outside in the cold.

This is irresponsible.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

i feel like it's more important to raise a kid to be able to keep themselves safe than to worry yourself to death over keeping them safe yourself. i don't like the idea of allowing whatever current parenting trend is the majority to determine what is acceptable or not.

hear, hear!

[decocker 7,198]

Yes, but worrying yourself is inevitable.

I don't like the trend either.

I have a neighbor who works at night. When she moved in, he kids were 8 and 9. She has been leaving them at home, at night alone, before she moved by us. I don't know how she works at night. One night they came to my door screaming because their house was smoking and fire was coming out of the oven. The mother had turned the oven on before she left to keep the place warm because the heater had went out, but the oven wasn't clean. It was food, oil and stuff in the bottom from the kids trying to cook over a time period and it smoked up the house. Had I not been there, her kids would have had to call 911 by themselves and stand outside in the cold.

This is irresponsible.

well yeah, sounds like the mother doesn't know how to keep even herself safe. never use your oven as a heat source, not even if you're an adult!

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

this is the problem, what's within reason? i was raised by a helicoptor mom, my husband was raised that kids belong outside, and he spent his childhood roaming his suburb with his friends. so, to my mom - his parents were completely neglectful. i would argue that his parents did more to prepare him for real life than mine did.

I was brought up similar to your husband - When I was young I wandered miles from home (and much more when we all got bikes) and got into all sorts of "trouble" - it never occurred to me to tell my parents where I was going, just a simple "Heading out!" To this day at family dinners I bring up things we did back then that shock my mother. Honestly some of the greatest adventures of my life that I still think about from time to time. I feel sorry for those that did not get to experience this growing up..

Raising my own son (who was a homebody and our house was the gathering spot for local kids - thanks xbox) I was largely spared from having to make those type of calls but I don't think I could have given him the same freedom that I had... I think about my upbringing and say to myself "We live in different times" - I am totally wrong about that, crime stats today are lower for nearly every type of violent crime compared to back then we are just inundated with everything so it feels like it is much worse.

Maybe the huge spike in violent crime in the late 80's and early 90's that lasted the better part of a decade has changed attitudes that still hang around today for that generation?

I remember hearing the parents in this incident when they were interviewed on NPR a while back when this first became an issue when their kids were walking home from a park alone and picked up. They said they were planning to continue the practice and were basically throwing down the gauntlet - seems they followed through.

Edited April 15, 2015 by OnMyWayID

[decocker 7,198]

Yes, but worrying yourself is inevitable.

i was six months pregnant when 9/11 happened and my son was almost a year when the beltway snipers were on the loose. i vividly remember taking my son to get portraits done at sears and being almost completely paralyzed with fear just to take him out of his carseat and walk across the parking lot with him. like i couldn't stop picturing someone shooting him in my arms. i felt like a bad parent for taking that risk and walking with him across the parking lot. it was an absurd sort of fear but with everything going on around us at the time, it felt very reasonable. when i started having panic attacks and passing out with zero warning, i knew i had to get a grip. worrying yourself is inevitable but it can be crippling to pass that worry onto your kid.

[Ontarkie 13,911]

the school is across the street, but the park isn't within view as it's down the hill a bit.

i had a friend kill herself over being charged with child neglect last fall. i think child neglect should be reserved for actual neglect. i'm biased i guess but i believe parents can't be judged so swiftly "oh your kid is in the middle of the street and you didn't know? neglect." i don't believe it's that cut and dry.

Sorry about your friend.

I +1 the second half.

[Janelle2002 3,865]

well yeah, sounds like the mother doesn't know how to keep even herself safe. never use your oven as a heat source, not even if you're an adult!

Yep, not a bright thing to do.

[decocker 7,198]

I was brought up similar to your husband - When I was young I wandered miles from home (and much more when we all got bikes) and got into all sorts of "trouble" - it never occurred to me to tell my parents where I was going, just a simple "Heading out!" To this day at family dinners I bring up things we did back then that shock my mother. Honestly some of the greatest adventures of my life that I still think about from time to time. I feel sorry for those that did not get to experience this growing up..

Raising my own son (who was a homebody and our house was the gathering spot for local kids - thanks xbox) I was largely spared from having to make those type of calls but I don't think I could have given him the same freedom that I had... I think about my upbringing and say to myself "We live in different times" - I am totally wrong about that, crime stats today are lower for nearly every type of violent crime compared to back then we are just inundated with everything so it feels like it is much worse.

Maybe the huge spike in violent crime in the late 80's and early 90's that lasted the better part of a decade has changed attitudes that still hang around today for that generation?

I remember hearing the parents in this incident when they were interviewed on NPR a while back when this first became an issue when their kids were walking home from a park alone and picked up. They said they were planning to continue the practice and were basically throwing down the gauntlet - seems they followed through.

the early eighties were pretty bad with the stranger danger, from school. my parents' control was more over what we watched on television, because that's how satan gets to you..shows like peewees playhouse or rainbow brite. and we certainly weren't allowed out of the yard. lol but i find it interesting that while my parents were very controlling when i was young, once i hit 14-15 (mid-nineties) they sort of gave up on telling me what to do or who to hang around with. i started working at 14 and i moved out the day i turned 18. i literally could.not.wait. to live on my own. i found myself in multiple sketchy scenarios while i was a teen/young adult and i pretty much always made the wrong decisions even though i was 'mature' for my age (as my parents put it). but i didn't really view my parents as a source of widom or look to them for guidance. i expected fear from them and worst case scenario hype.

my son rarely ever goes out in the neighborhood, and his peers don't either. they're always on xbox together but never in the same room unless at school. so weird to me..

[OnMyWayID 1,489]

the early eighties were pretty bad with the stranger danger, from school. my parents' control was more over what we watched on television, because that's how satan gets to you..shows like peewees playhouse or rainbow brite. and we certainly weren't allowed out of the yard. lol but i find it interesting that while my parents were very controlling when i was young, once i hit 14-15 (mid-nineties) they sort of gave up on telling me what to do or who to hang around with. i started working at 14 and i moved out the day i turned 18. i literally could.not.wait. to live on my own. i found myself in multiple sketchy scenarios while i was a teen/young adult and i pretty much always made the wrong decisions even though i was 'mature' for my age (as my parents put it). but i didn't really view my parents as a source of widom or look to them for guidance. i expected fear from them and worst case scenario hype.

my son rarely ever goes out in the neighborhood, and his peers don't either. they're always on xbox together but never in the same room unless at school. so weird to me..

I've gone though this thread - i appreciate you sharing your stories. I know they can't be easy to share.

On the xbox thing: This confounded me - I would come home from work to find my windows all covered with tinfoil and network cables snaking everywhere. I say xbox, they were actually networked PCs. I think my home was selected because I was the only single father in the neighborhood so they figured I would put up with the mess. In my state a person can get a driver license at 14 though for night driving you need to be 16. I had to push my son when he was 17 to get his license and he had a car that had been sitting in the garage for nearly two years that he had never driven.. He just felt no want or need. I would have been licensed the first day it was possible - totally different priorities in youth these days.