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wife doesn't tell family about marriage

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My wife in Ghana refuses to tell her family about our marriage. States it will make things "difficult and create problems" for her. Will this not be a guarantee denial at the embassy as we have no joint assets, have never lived together, and haven't spent much time together? I thought we would need several statements from family and friends to say that they are aware of our marriage, especially from her side. Can anyone tell me if i am correct with this assumption? I feel almost a guaranteed denial coming because nobody in Ghana knows about the marriage. Interview is coming up hopefully within a few months but she does not listen to me. Any advice?

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google 'stokes interview'. i found out lots.

very difficult to pull the wool over their eyes. they're smart and know what to look for.

maybe you'd like to share this with her: but then again, maybe not!

btw, if she's not admitting to anything, the wool is over your eyes!!!

Edited by mrs thb



USCIS
30 Jan 2014 - Sent I-130
03 Feb 2014- NOA1

10 months of bologna, we cannot believe this, nor will you if you knew
02 Dec 2014- NOA2

NVC
30-Dec 2014 case received
10-Feb 2015 case and iin # assigned
10-Feb 2015 completed ds 261
11-Feb 2015 paid AOS fee
11-Feb 2015 welcome letter rec'd
15-Feb 2015 emailed AOS & IV package info
19-Feb 2015 paid IV fee
23-Feb 2015 submitted ds260
07-Apr 2015 CC :dancing:
26-May 2015. interview--approval

28-May 2015 noon visa in hand!!

POE-??

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The question should be asked : Why exactly does she not want her family to know and what problems does she think it will cause ?

The answer will be chased by the embassy and it better make a lot of sense.

I would not file unless I myself would have talked with her family and been treated with respect as her husband, please be aware that something

often is fishy if the beneficiary keeps a secret such as this, a marriage is a joyous family event not a skeleton in the closet that should be hidden.

This would be red flag to me. Did you ever meet her family or talk to them on the phone or skype ? If not be very, very careful before taking another

step further and do some investigating yourself before the embassy does in the future.

It will not look good at all for a successful visa approval in Ghana, which is a high fraud embassy.

It is difficult enough to get approved if all ducks are in a row, every t crossed and every i dotted, all this secret mess just spells trouble.


Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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My wife in Ghana refuses to tell her family about our marriage. States it will make things "difficult and create problems" for her. Will this not be a guarantee denial at the embassy as we have no joint assets, have never lived together, and haven't spent much time together? I thought we would need several statements from family and friends to say that they are aware of our marriage, especially from her side. Can anyone tell me if i am correct with this assumption? I feel almost a guaranteed denial coming because nobody in Ghana knows about the marriage. Interview is coming up hopefully within a few months but she does not listen to me. Any advice?

Hmm... something is not adding up here ... :no:

I assume you visited Ghana to marry her?

How well do you know her?

Did you not meet her family before, during, and after marriage?

Did you not have some sort of wedding ceremony with her family?

Can you talk to any of her family or friends directly?

While family and friends support of marriage is a good thing,

in certain situations, I think an adult can make their decision

without their support...but there should be clear explanation.

If I were you, I would be more concerned about finding out

what's in her head before worrying about the interview and visa.

In my head red light is blinking on this one. :no:


10-04-2013 We met online
11-21-2013 We met in person in Shanghai for 2 weeks

12-13-2013 I-129F packet sent via express

12-19-2013 USCIS NOA #1 (text and email) received

12-24-2013 USCIS assigns Alien Registration Number
12-31-2013 USCIS NOA #1 hard copy received
06-02-2014 USCIS web site shows NOA #2 approval
06-06-2014 USCIS web site shows case sent to NVC

06-xx-2014 Fiancee acquired birth, marriage, and police certificates from local police station (wrong)

06-16-2014 NVC creates case with GUZ### number

06-19-2014 NVC sends case sent to Guangzhou, China
06-24-2014 Received packet 3 express mail from embassy
06-25-2014 Completed DS-160 and paid K1 visa fee

06-26-2014 Mailed packet 3 response back to Embassy

06-26-2014 Requested police certificate from Russian embassy

07-08-2014 Received packet 4 email from Embassy

07-17-2014 Picked up Russian police certificate

07-25-2014 Fiancee medical exam (received MMR & Varicella, but they missed required TD shot)

07-31-2014 Picked up medical exam reports

08-01-2014 Request (correct) birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service (GongZhengChu)

08-06-2014 Picked up birth, marriage, and police certificates from Notarial Service

08-14-2014 Passed Interview Guangzhou embassy

09-01-2014 Received passport, visa, & sealed envelope

09-13-2014 POE

09-17-2014 Went to CBP office to get (US entry) I-94 updated correctly

09-18-2014 Applied for Social Security Card
09-19-2014 Applied for Marriage License (via online)
09-25-2014 Received Social Security Card
09-30-2014 Picked up Marriage License
10-09-2014 Marriage by Justice of Peace
10-09-2014 Got Certified Marriage Certificate Copies
10-17-2014 Received a letter from SS office that they need the marriage license
10-09-2014 Applied to change the social security card name
10-24-2014 Went back to SS office to provide the marriage certificate documents again!!!
12-09-2014 Submitted AOS, EAD, and AP
12-16-2014 Received 16 emails and 16 text NOA messages
01-05-2015 Received Biometrics appointment letter for (01-12-2015)
01-12-2015 Had Biometrics (fingerprint & picture) - Required Marriage Certificate!!!
02-17-2015 EAD and AP is approved
02-23-2015 Received AP is approval letter
02-25-2015 Received EAD/AP combo card (expires 02/16/2016)
02-27-2015 Applied for SS card name change (they took her SS card)
02-27-2015 Driver's learner permit test was denied since the SS card was given to SS office for name change
03-17-2015 Received SS card with married name
03-17-2015 Started to change all her accounts to married name
03-23-2015 Received potential interview waiver letter
03-27-2015 DMV rejects learner's permit due to "legal status=pending" and vision test failure
04-05-2015 Vision test for learner's permit
04-06-2015 DPS sent us letter that DHS cleared my wife's status to acquire driver's license.
04-10-2015 Passed Driver Learner's Permit
04-22-2015 Received Driver Learner's Permit ID card (expires 02/16/2016)
08-27-2015 Green Card approved
08-31-2015 Received Green Card "Welcome Notice Was Mailed" letter
09-05-2015 Received Green card
10-26-2015 Passed Driver's License Road Test (on 3rd attempt)
11-03-2015 Received Driver's License (expires 02/16/2022)
11-06-2015 Applied to remove conditional work remark on SS card
11-23-2015 Received updated Social Security Card.
- - - - - - - - - - Pending Future Processing - - - - - - - - - -
05-27-2017 File 10 Year Green Card
08-27-2017 2 Year Green Card Expires
05-27-2018 File USC

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You will need letters from her family members, something is wrong if she isn't or hasn't told anyone in her family, my husband sisters and godfathers, and friends wrote letters for us! I have been to ghana three times and family is very strong there so something is wrong, find out what it is

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I have been to Ghana three times. Spoke to her mother and have met cousins, aunt, uncle, brother, sisters, grandmother. They know me and that we are together. Her reason for not disclosing is that she believes that people close to her may have bad intentions and can do spiritual things to prevent an approval at the embassy. When I went to marry, she did not disclose to any of them that I was there. We had a small ceremony with a few of her friends. The first two visits, family was always present.

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I have been to Ghana three times. Spoke to her mother and have met cousins, aunt, uncle, brother, sisters, grandmother. They know me and that we are together. Her reason for not disclosing is that she believes that people close to her may have bad intentions and can do spiritual things to prevent an approval at the embassy. When I went to marry, she did not disclose to any of them that I was there. We had a small ceremony with a few of her friends. The first two visits, family was always present.

I am familiar with the belief that many west African people hold concerning others close by will somehow 'steal their destiny' or 'spiritually block'

important things so they keep it to themselves, but we are talking about her immediate family here.

This is the embassy and they do not see it that way all though they claim to take all cultural things into consideration, they wont.

They know that a big cultural truth is that for the most part a wedding involves all family and friends and is a big celebration.

The only thing blocking your success will be both of you if you do not inform your family and friends of the marriage.

AP home investigations happen sometimes and if everyone in her family has no clue that she is married it is a 99% denial.

No one can predict that a home investigation will or will not happen so why take the risk.

You have met her mother and grandmother and siblings then why not at the very least tell them you are married.....surely they would not

want to block an approval and if she thinks they do then ask yourself why ? Not every Tom, ####### and Harry on the block needs to know but at the very

least her mother and siblings and grandmother and her good friends that she knows she can trust.

If she is a Christian then tell her that the enemy is not stronger than God and to start using her faith and speaking positive instead of

living in fear like this, it is not scriptural but voodoo based.

It took us 5 years to come together, 16 months in AP and after that a denial, then we filed again and our last stokes interview was approved and we hid nothing.

Don't play around with this or you will regret it. You can't drag your superstitions into a visa journey. Be transparent.

The photos you have to show of your marriage do not include her immediate family, what do you think the CO will ask her during your interview ?

Why are your parents and siblings not in attendance ? What will she say ? Because they may try to block my chance of approval ?

She is blocking it herself.

Edited by Ebunoluwa

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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