I need a divorce from my abusive husband

[CowBoE 429]

Thank you for your replies. I am at my parents' now. The reason why I am pushing for his deportation is because he WOULD harm me more and not care about it. He literally has nothing to lose. Someone mentioned ICE..would you be kind enough to elaborate?

I have not reached out to a divorce lawyer. That scares me because time wise wouldnt it take a long time? I fear for my safety.

If I could divorce and "move on", I would have done so today. But I know how psychotic he is. He will not let me live.

That's horrible...

1) First, let's get this out of the way...

Who you like is your choice, and who he likes is his choice, and people can change mind over time.

So just accept the fact that he has lost interest in you...other than the GC.

It sucks, but it happens in relationships.

2) But...what's is absolutely not acceptable is for him to physically harm you.

Oh...no...may be back in his home country...but not in US.

3) Scary tactics are commonly used by men...more precisely by stupid and angry men.

Though you should be very cautious, you don't have to be totally frightened by it.

4) Report the abuse to the police immediately, and file a restraining order asap

so that he is not supposed to come near you. If he violates the restraining order,

call the police promptly.

5) Once the restraining order is in place, and an abuse report is made to the police,

likely he's going to be much more cautious...knowing that any major stupid incident

will wipe out his GC chance...if he hasn't already.

6) Don't wait on divorce filing. You deserve happiness, freedom from fear,

and a better man. Get that started asap.

[sachin1 42]

As all said above. Get out. Understandably you will be angry but when you talk to lawyere/ICE or immigration please please keep calm and talk.

Do not even think about going back and working out any deal.

Do not care whether he is deported or not. Just get out from relationship and in few month you will be more happy person.

[sara..... 371]

If your with your parents and its a safe place you need to report the abuse so that its on record........if he has nothing to loose there is nothing stopping him from harming himself and calling police to make a case against you so that he can stay as domestic violence victim........

If he is that cruel divorce wont stop him but you do need the divorce...never go any place in public a lone if you can , a restraining order is a good idea but once again its like a divorce paper only.....report him and never be alone with him also once he is reported as abuser dont even take his phone calls make sure that the restraining order includes not being able to contacting you by phone or multi media each time he breaks the restraining order make sure you document it and turn it over to the police sooner or later he will find out what the inside of a cell looks and feels like

i dont know but men that physically hit women scare the snot out of me.......so im just giving you ideas that i would do for myself if i was in your shoes

sara

[Cathi 5,607]

For all of you who have not bothered to read and understand what the OP has said. She IS in a safe place, she is with her parents. There is no need to continually suggest she needs to leave, she has made it very clear she has left him and is safe with her parents.

Her question is can she simply call immigration and ask they take him into custody and deport him. Unfortunately it isn't as easy as that. Just because you say you overheard your husband telling someone he was using you for a green card means nothing without physical proof, it's your word against his. You need a divorce lawyer and a restraining order.

[BraveAmnay 56]

Its not as easy as you imagine coz anyone can pretend her husband/wife hit her/Him just make immigration deport him .what i realise is everyone who are married to someone abroad she/he think this marriage should last forever otherwise they want do anything deport him/her .Its is marriage it can work as it could not.Why don take things easier divorce them and move on

Edited March 6, 2015 by BraveAmnay

[hari29 24]

Thank you for your replies. I am at my parents' now. The reason why I am pushing for his deportation is because he WOULD harm me more and not care about it. He literally has nothing to lose. Someone mentioned ICE..would you be kind enough to elaborate?

I have not reached out to a divorce lawyer. That scares me because time wise wouldnt it take a long time? I fear for my safety.

If I could divorce and "move on", I would have done so today. But I know how psychotic he is. He will not let me live.

Ok...you need to report this to police ASAP and get a restraining order. That will keep him away from you. If he comes anywhere 150 ft of you, he will get arrested. As far as deportation is concerned, once he gets arrested for abuse, he will be deported automatically

[E-N 48]

I did not realize originally she had already gotten to her parents . I read this quickly while at work .

[Boiler 43,386]

Ok...you need to report this to police ASAP and get a restraining order. That will keep him away from you. If he comes anywhere 150 ft of you, he will get arrested. As far as deportation is concerned, once he gets arrested for abuse, he will be deported aeutomatically

Nope

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Thank you for your replies. I am at my parents' now. The reason why I am pushing for his deportation is because he WOULD harm me more and not care about it. He literally has nothing to lose. Someone mentioned ICE..would you be kind enough to elaborate?

I have not reached out to a divorce lawyer. That scares me because time wise wouldnt it take a long time? I fear for my safety.

If I could divorce and "move on", I would have done so today. But I know how psychotic he is. He will not let me live.

Just move on. Do not adjust his status. Revenge will not help you. YOU cannot have him deported no matter how much energy you waste on that. Just stay away in a safe place away from him. Get out NOW. Let it go, let him go. If what you say is true you should not waste your time on trying to deport him.

God Bless

[David & Diana R 1,005]

Ok...you need to report this to police ASAP and get a restraining order. That will keep him away from you. If he comes anywhere 150 ft of you, he will get arrested. As far as deportation is concerned, once he gets arrested for abuse, he will be deported automatically

I work in the Domestic Violence area and ABUSE, even felony abuse is NOT at deportable offense in 99% of all cases. The US just rarely deprorts people, sorry to say. And a restaring order is just a piece of paper. I WILL NOT keep anyone away from anyone. It might serve to get the abuser arrested if he or she violates the terms of the court order but sorry to say many abused women have been hurt and even killed by the person they have filed a restraining order AGAINST. I am not advising against a TRO, however you should know the risks, both ways.

God Bless

I work in the Domestic Violence area and ABUSE, even felony abuse is NOT at deportable offense in 99% of all cases. The US just rarely deprorts people, sorry to say. And a restaring order is just a piece of paper. I WILL NOT keep anyone away from anyone. It might serve to get the abuser arrested if he or she violates the terms of the court order but sorry to say many abused women have been hurt and even killed by the person they have filed a restraining order AGAINST. I am not advising against a TRO, however you should know the risks, both ways. I have investigated over a dozen abuse cases invloving Illegal Aliens and I HAVE NEVER seen anyone deported yet.

God Bless

Edited March 7, 2015 by David & Zoila

[toribae1031 3]

Get all evidence. Whenever he hit u. U should go to the hospital and take pics all of it. Even if he broke the walls too.

And if everything is enough for submitting evidence. Then u should contact to lawyer.

and record all the conversation too. Whenever he pissed off. Mentally physically abuse. If he get greencard it is conditional. So.m u will be fine until he submit i-751

and u should move on that house if u want him to go back to his country. Because if u r gna divorce with him without any issue. Then he can apply i-751waiver.

Scared. If he get gc it means he can visit u again. And u dnt know what is gna be happened. I had a stalker just like tht not my husband. He was gna visit my company with knife. He was chasing me over 2 years i knew him because he was my college classmate.. ugh. For 2 years I was not to try to make him pissed off. But eventually I told him. Stop doing this to me then he said tht is so hurts to me u dnt even know how much I love you ( what a crazy man....I blocked his num his all social app too. But he usually created new one and contacted me Fortunately he was studying for getting government job so I contacted police and tried to made him scared of it too.

Edited March 7, 2015 by toribae1031

[Bonnie&Bob 33]

Going to throw this out there. When you have your interview they give you a pamplet on spouse violence. You are to report it to authoriities immediately. She could have him arrested. When he appears for his court date and is/if found guilty he will not be able to apply for a change of status with a criminal record. He would then be deported back to his own country. Isn't this the real way it happens. They wouldn't make this pamplet sound so important if it didn't hold water. I would think anyway.

[Boiler 43,386]

This thread is getting weirder and weirder

[Coach217 0]

We were married in June of 2013.

He arrived in the US on a K-3 visa in April 2014.

As soon as he arrived, I realized how much he had changed. So I put off filing AOS for greencard.

Ive bent over backwards trying to get him to love me like he did or so I thought he did.

Ive over heard him talking to his parents about leaving me as soon as he gets the green card.

In the past three months, he starting hitting me, pushing me around, slapping me, strangling etc.

After my parents intervened today, Ive realized that I need to get a divorce ASAP and I want him to be deported as well.

I dont know where to start. Someone told me I could call immigration and they would just take him themselves?

I need this nightmare to be over and done with. Ive lost my identity. I was one of those girls who promised to never let a man put his hands on me, and look where I am.

CALL THE POLICE, THEY WILL ARREST HIM

[catknit 144]

This may not pertain to this specific OP but I'm throwing this out there...

#1 - Your parents' house may not be a safe haven. Depending on how psychotic your soon-to-be-ex is - you may not be safe. Speak with a qualified domestic violence counselor in your area [google it, call the local pd's office number, check the bathroom at the library or other public area for a poster, ask your doctor's office].

#2 - There is a chance that if you are in a dire situation you will need to literally turn your life upside down. If a domestic violence counselor suggests placement in a shelter for your protection chances are they will also ask you to quit your job [or at least take a leave of absence], not visit places you're known to frequent etc etc.

Why? Simple, the violent spouse/partner most likely knows where your parents/family live, they know where you work, etc, etc, etc. If you are truly dealing with someone who wants to do you harm, wants to kill you, wants to save their family's honor, whatever - this may be what it will take. And, your life is worth it.