Jump to content
rawas

He is dating online!

 Share

29 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

If he has ever hit you or threatened you contact a women's shelter. They will assist you with everything you need e.g. a secret location to live, assistance in getting a job, restraining orders and a divorce. He also signed a contract with the gov't when he sponsored you. So if you get any public assistance the gov't can go after him. Just get out to a shelter, they will make you feel very welcome and loved.

As a footnote this topic is appearing a lot here on the forum. Women that applying to immigrate to America should take heed and look at the man they are thinking of spending their lives with. It surely is a very scary situation when you find yourself in such a position. It sounds easy to tell someone to leave. Yet when you have no status in the USA yet, have problems w/ the language perhaps, no job, no money etc.... a daunting assignment. But your life is more important than all these thinks. I think the shelters will also provide you with an airline ticket back to your mother country. Be careful ladies. And to the OP, I wish you the best.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Colombia
Timeline

This is the Beginning of Domestic Violence...Get out before he hurts you one day ....Obviously he has realized that you are not what he wants

He made a mistake in his mind and wants out himself...He knows that he is responsible for you for 10 years financially ..

Putting his hands on you How ? Is it a push, a squeeze or a slap..??

Whatever it is wake up get out and move on...he already has by what you say...I am sorry for you but you must be strong.. the advice you have been given here

is GOOD advice...So you have 12 hours to pack up and get out as it seems.. Plan ahead...make sure you know where your going.. If you go to a womens shelter they will

want you to take out an Order of Protection or a Restraining Order.. I would do it if I was you.. He will be told by the courts and the police if he has any further contact

with you he is in Violation of the order and the first offense in many states is 30 days incarceration...Good Luck

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: England
Timeline

You should definitely call a women's shelter while he is at work and have your bags ready packed so that you can leave quickly if you need to. Sounds like him "putting his hands on you" is a euphemism for violence and even if it isn't his aggression and emotional abuse means you need to be away from him.

He obviously feels like he has all the power: a woman in a foreign country who has nowhere to go. Get out of there and prove him wrong!

My blog about my visa journey and adjusting to my new life in the US http://albiontoamerica.wordpress.com/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
Timeline

i note you are Muslim (OP) - so if you seek to save your marriage, invite the Imam or Muallah from your local mosque (you do attend, right?) over to your house when your husband returns from work, and have him talk with you two.

If your husband really wants to be in the marriage, well, he needs to change. And that religious leader can help him back on the path...

otherwise - do what you can to file for divorce and leave quickly..

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, i live with my husband in USA, his character got changed along time ago, he left the bedroom for some "healthy" reason with no coming back, he become angry , busy, he don't answer his phone at house, he do not go out with me , he leave the house at 6 morning to work to come back at 6 evening , he started not respecting me and not caring about what i do at the house and what i do not do, he started putting his hand on me while he is upset for almost no reason, insulting me and not asking for any excuse , i know after hours and days he is not going to talk , i find myself talking to him even i'm insulted , i tried my best to works things with him, but , he feel comfortable sleeping alone, going out alone, i felt like he is cheating , so i asked him last week why are you cheating and i gave him some proofs, he said no, he is not cheating and if he cheat i mostly will receive a call from the women he is cheating with , this was his answer

everyday, although in the weekend he says he works, as soon as he come back from outside , he takes his laptop, for hours until he sleep,few days ago i wanted to look at his laptop i asked him to use his laptop in a few minutes , to find out he is using a lot of websites to date/ flirt and live tchat with live girls ,women, i do not know if he found somebody i just know for sure he is cheating ,i don't know what to do , i feel upset, and need some advice please, what do you do if you are in my place. please help

thank you

I am so sorry that you are going through this and like others have posted you need to make a life changing decision. I agree that it is scary but I am also sure there are a lot of other scary things you have done and will have to do because that is just part of life itself. I would contact a battered women shelter in your state (I just googled it and a bunch popped up) and they can give you leads to support groups, legal advise and other options for you to try. In the mean time do some soul searching and work on your self esteem. Google 'Learned Helplessness' and do some reading on that, it may shed some light into the way you are handling this situation. You know you deserve better, and we do to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Hi, i live with my husband in USA, his character got changed along time ago, he left the bedroom for some "healthy" reason with no coming back, he become angry , busy, he don't answer his phone at house, he do not go out with me , he leave the house at 6 morning to work to come back at 6 evening , he started not respecting me and not caring about what i do at the house and what i do not do, he started putting his hand on me while he is upset for almost no reason, insulting me and not asking for any excuse , i know after hours and days he is not going to talk , i find myself talking to him even i'm insulted , i tried my best to works things with him, but , he feel comfortable sleeping alone, going out alone, i felt like he is cheating , so i asked him last week why are you cheating and i gave him some proofs, he said no, he is not cheating and if he cheat i mostly will receive a call from the women he is cheating with , this was his answer

everyday, although in the weekend he says he works, as soon as he come back from outside , he takes his laptop, for hours until he sleep,few days ago i wanted to look at his laptop i asked him to use his laptop in a few minutes , to find out he is using a lot of websites to date/ flirt and live tchat with live girls ,women, i do not know if he found somebody i just know for sure he is cheating ,i don't know what to do , i feel upset, and need some advice please, what do you do if you are in my place. please help

thank you

Oh wow rawas,

GRRRRRRR this really pisses my off to hear this. I am a Police Officer here in Cali and this is one of the worst call to go to is domestic violence calls. I am very sorry that an American is doing something like this.

First of all you need to go to the Police Department and make a report, this is a must. Because, in most cases, (95%) things and will get worst. I really hate to say and scare you.

Next when you have a report, then you have stronger grounds to stand on for the divorce. When I do see Americans bring partners from outside the country, they figured they can do whatever they want and then use the scare tactics as saying you will be shipped back if you say anything.

Remember you do not have to have any scars to make the report, every since the OJ Trail laws have changed.

Dont call the police and have them come to the house. Its better and easier if you go to the police station and make the report and ask for a female officer that speaks your language. It is easier to talk to them.

Please tell me you live in the Southern California area, it is easier in these Police Departments because they have a larger diversity of language officers. If not dont worry the police officer at any station must help you. If not make sure you get the officer's name and badge number and you can report them to the ACLU.

Dont worry and dont be afraid, no one will ship you back. This is one thing about America once you are here your have all the same rights as a US Citizen, regarding legal issues. Specially with violent crimes, or any crime against you.

Also be aware verbal and degrading comments is also a form of Domestic Violence the person does not have to physically hit you. If you are a male the same situation applies as if you were a female. Yes i also seen Domestic Violence happen to males from females and since the same sex marriage law had changed this is also and issue.

Dont worry the law is on your side.

I really hope this will help.

Lukussnarling-smiley-emoticon.png

OUR JOURNEY

15th Day of September 2014 - Robert Brown excepted our case to help us

28th Day of October 2014 - Katie from Attorney Robert Brown LLC submitted i129f to USCIS

03rd Day of November 2014 - USCIS Received i129f packet

12th Day of November 2014 - Katie emailed me with the hard copy of the NOA 1

13th Day of November 2014 - We received hard copy of NOA 1 Notice Date read 05 November 2014

03rd Day of December 2014 - I spoke with Agent S53887 from USCIS Military Line and they submitted an additional Expedite request via their computer

06th Day of December 2014 - Received an email from USCIS Case Status requesting additional items for Expedite

08th Day of December 2014 - Received an email from NCSC, TSC stated request is under review

09th Day of December 2014 - Received an email from USCIS that expedite was approved, (NOA 2) and we shall receive information from NVC before the 9th of January 2014

16th Day of December 2014 - Received hard copy of NOA 2

18th Day of December 2014 - Received an email from USCIS stating our case was forward to the State Department for Visa Processing

07th Day of January 2015 - Called NVC and NVC stated the packet was sent to US Embassy on the 02nd of January 2015, and NVC gave me a MNL number and invoice number

13th Day of January 2015 - Received letter from U.S. Department of State. Stating the NVC received the approved I-129F. We will use for the HK Police Certificate

15th Day of January 2015 - Fiancee paid for the K-1 and two K-2 Visa Interviews, we are waiting to make appointment for the interview

10th Day of March 2015 - Had to have Psychologist Interview, (Psychologist was very rude)

18th Day of April 2015 - Kids and Fiance had Medical in Saint Luke's

11th Day of May 2015 - Everyone had the Interview in the US Embassy, (very difficult the Interviewer was very rude)

15th Day of May 2015 - Katie Russell from Robert Browns LLC sent out CRBA packet for our son

​18th Day of May 2015 - Consular's Office email us and told us we have an interview for our son's CRBA, US Passport in July 2015

19th Day of July 2015 - We got the Philippines Passport, (Fiance and the 2 Kids) with a USA Visa attached to the page and few envelopes that stated DO NOT OPEN!

23rd Day of July 2015 - Our Son received his USA Passport and CRBA Certificate

9th Day of August 2015 - Flights to America!!!!!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Nigeria
Timeline

You say he leaves for work in the morning at 6am and doesn't come back til 6 pm, so you have lots of time during the day to plan. Start looking for a place to live and have it all set up beforehand. Leave when he's at work.

Mom's I-130
10/24/12 - NOA1 (from NBC)
12/14/12 - Touched
01/25/13 - RFE from local office in Baltimore (secondary evidence of birth)
01/31/13 - RFE response sent via Express Mail

06/24/13 - Received email saying RFE response documents were under review

06/25/13 - Received email confirming approval!

01/15/15 - Interview

06/17/15 - POE (Dulles)

07/06/15 - Applied for SSN

Still waiting for green card to come in the mail

Husband's I-130 / I-485 / I-765
01/15/15 - Package Sent
01/21/15 - NOA1 / Package received
02/12/15 - RFE received (incomplete tax information)

02/17/15 - Biometrics appointment
02/24/15 - RFE response sent via Express Mail

03/02/15 - RFE response documents received and under review

03/20/15 - EAD card received in mail

07/09/15 - Received email and text confirming interview - August 7, 2015

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes , i did ask, if somebody asked me , i do not hesitate to tell: leave and move on , i need just the courage to leave , and the courage to make the brave decision like you said , i cry everyday about my situation and how my life become like a nightmare, i get up everyday with desire to do not get up because everyday seems like the day pass , he betrayed me, 5 days from my port of entry date , i saw in his laptop some live dating websites, it seems like he enjoy doing that

It was hard to get a first step. Just like when you were dating and you couldn't leave someone you loved, hurtful for the first time but after you could step your feet out of your comfort zone, time will follow you and eventually after years you are realized that you made a right decision for your life. Good luck!.

Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat

- Sun Tzu-

It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop

-Confucius-

 

-I am the beneficiary and my post is not reflecting my petitioner's point of views-

 

                                       Lifting Condition (I-751)

 

*Mailed I-751 package (06/21/2017) to CSC

*NOA-1 date (06/23/2017)

*NOA-1 received (06/28/2017)

*Check cashed (06/27/2017)

*Biometric Received (07/10/2017)

*Biometric Appointment (07/20/2017)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i note you are Muslim (OP) - so if you seek to save your marriage, invite the Imam or Muallah from your local mosque (you do attend, right?) over to your house when your husband returns from work, and have him talk with you two.

If your husband really wants to be in the marriage, well, he needs to change. And that religious leader can help him back on the path...

otherwise - do what you can to file for divorce and leave quickly..

I agree

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline

I asked him to divorce me, i talked about divorce , but it seems like he want to keep me living this unhealthy life, i'm very unhappy and since i moved to live with him and see how bad his life looks like, i feel like he has all the power to do anything he want and i'm just object, i cant do anything

If you're considering divorcing him, you don't need to ask him...you don't need his permission to divorce. By your own words, you're living an unhealthy life...why continue that?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

And the immigration is what?

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
Timeline

If you're considering divorcing him, you don't need to ask him...you don't need his permission to divorce. By your own words, you're living an unhealthy life...why continue that?

IMO, it's a cultural thing, specific to her culture, to ask the husband for the divorce, talk about the divorce.

You know, and I know, and many other people know, it's just so 'not needed' here in the USA. Just get out of the house, or file protective order to keep him out of the house, seek divorce, and go on.

Still, (and again, IMO), inclusion of the religious leader, in a meeting IN THEIR HOUSE, with the 3 of them, can open up a clear path to (pick one):

1. divorce or

2. separation with parameters and concept to work on the marriage in a healthy way or

3. immediate reconcilation with immediate milestones.

Yes, IMO, that religious leader can move mountains during that meeting, and no, is no way, no how, that physical abuse is acceptable in the USA. Please don't misunderstand my tenet here - I'm not condoning that physical violence is OK in any manner (yes, mental abuse also) - but...

with a little bit of extra steps, to remain 'culturally sensitive' in her situation, she can have a path that is clear to her, culturally acceptable to her, and legally clear to her as well.

Of course, if the husband is simply a tardo, and the Imam/Mullah sets them on a path for divorce, she will feel stronger about it, having consulted the religious leader in her area.

I'm not insensitive to this stuff - I do hope that she can seek that guidance and quickly - even if it's to speak with an Imam privately without the husband... Whatever she chooses to do, she doesn't have to remain and continue to seek his permission to divorce.

Alrighty - you fellas can beat on me more about this - but I'm with you - her safety should be first and foremost the focus of anything she does.

<EOM>

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

-=-=-=-=-=R E A D ! ! !=-=-=-=-=-

Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: China
Timeline
One off topic post removed.

Our journey:

Spoiler

September 2007: Met online via social networking site (MySpace); began exchanging messages.
March 26, 2009: We become a couple!
September 10, 2009: Arrived for first meeting in-person!
June 17, 2010: Arrived for second in-person meeting and start of travel together to other areas of China!
June 21, 2010: Engaged!!!
September 1, 2010: Switched course from K1 to CR-1
December 8, 2010: Wedding date set; it will be on February 18, 2011!
February 9, 2011: Depart for China
February 11, 2011: Registered for marriage in Wuhan, officially married!!!
February 18, 2011: Wedding ceremony in Shiyan!!!
April 22, 2011: Mailed I-130 to Chicago
April 28, 2011: Received NOA1 via text/email, file routed to CSC (priority date April 25th)
April 29, 2011: Updated
May 3, 2011: Received NOA1 hardcopy in mail
July 26, 2011: Received NOA2 via text/email!!!
July 30, 2011: Received NOA2 hardcopy in mail
August 8, 2011: NVC received file
September 1, 2011: NVC case number assigned
September 2, 2011: AOS invoice received, OPTIN email for EP sent
September 7, 2011: Paid AOS bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 9, 2011)
September 8, 2011: OPTIN email accepted, GZO number assigned
September 10, 2011: Emailed AOS package
September 12, 2011: IV bill invoiced
September 13, 2011: Paid IV bill (payment portal showed PAID on September 14, 2011)
September 14, 2011: Emailed IV package
October 3, 2011: Emailed checklist response (checklist generated due to typo on Form DS-230)
October 6, 2011: Case complete at NVC
November 10, 2011: Interview - APPROVED!!!
December 7, 2011: POE - Sea-Tac Airport

September 17, 2013: Mailed I-751 to CSC

September 23, 2013: Received NOA1 in mail (receipt date September 19th)

October 16, 2013: Biometrics Appointment

January 28, 2014: Production of new Green Card ordered

February 3, 2014: New Green Card received; done with USCIS until fall of 2023*

December 18, 2023:  Filed I-90 to renew Green Card

December 21, 2023:  Production of new Green Card ordered - will be seeing USCIS again every 10 years for renewal

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -

Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...