k1 approval and break up

[Elleanor 10]

I'm sorry this has happen to you ..

One thing i can tell you is to try stop texting her for a week,ignore her and then you'll see if she really doesn't text or even call you that means she found someone new or made up her mine that living in the united states isn't really for her ..

=Being a woman .. if she really loves you she'll start worrying in a week and if she will never get a text from you .. Just saying..

We all know this is hard for you ..

sorry .

[Enigma11561 336]

av8or1 speaks much truth. Cut your losses and move on. And next time don't throw around so much money, no self respecting person is going to accept it (even if you've got Bill Gates bank account).

I agree with the above. Other than the necessary travel expenses, I don't think I spent more than $1000 on my now wife over several years of courtship. There was no need for trips, vacations, pay for this or that. Just building a strong foundation for a great relationship. Married 5 years and counting.

[Sandra G. 5,016]

It seems you were scammed .Move on.

[Bjorn&lyne 20]

I have read numerous stories about Russian women causing visa issues. While I am not saying Russian women in general cause visa problems, it appears that Russians are overrepresented in this based on what I have read and heard. I also have a couple of Western friends living in Russia telling me flat out for Western men to stay away from Russian women cause the issues it causes with visas such as this but also such as visa scams. My friends in Russia tell me many Russian women are international gold diggers, something you also read about online again and again. You may very well have encountered a gold digger who enjoyed life in the "fast lane" with you but now moved on to the next one. A woman who all of a sudden chooses work over the relationship having the K1 process almost completed tells me there is something fundamentally wrong with this picture. I would recommend you formally contacting the embassy to cancel this so it does not haunt you later if you choose to apply again.

Edited January 8, 2015 by Bjorn&lyne

[sevendelta 17]

I'm russian woman. My name is Marina.

I just wanted to tell: don't tell in common. All people are different. Don't tell "russian are bad".

I read your story. It's a really pity. I want to say my opinion about this situation. People study english in every countries. But people in Russia and post-soviet union countries study english at low level. It's a real problem here.

I think she was scared to change her life. I think she was really scared to move in usa without knowing a good level english. I can understand her. I had the same fears. I had a lot of talks with my fiance about my fears. It's stressful.

She got some doubts. All she was needed is to see your calm and confidence that all will be good. I think she didn't see it.

It's normal to get some doubts. We are changing our life. It's not a game. It's a very difficult decision to leave ALL: our friends, our parents, our job and stability

I have an university degrees here. And I told to my fiance "Where will I work? I don't want to work as waitress"

It's difficult to explain. Immigration is not the game. We need to be sure in our partner.

I have read a lot of stories about divorce after some months. Yes, I was scared about it too. What will I do if something will go wrong? I had a divorce here - it's enough for me. I really don't want to be in such situation in foreing country.

If she had the same worries and fears She can choose to stay in Moscow.

I would advice you to come Moscow and see her, to speak to her honesty and rid of her fears. It would be a last chance.

If you love her - don't let her go away.

Marina

[Bjorn&lyne 20]

Hi Marina. I don't think anyone said "Russians are bad" as a generalization. From what is floating around on the internet, it appears some countries have a higher proportion of women being scammers or causing problems. Russia keeps coming up as a red flag. Thailand too. But again, of course not all are bad, but with come countries there seems to be a greater chance to run into problems like this.

[Cathi 5,610]

I have read numerous stories about Russian women causing visa issues. While I am not saying Russian women in general cause visa problems, it appears that Russians are overrepresented in this based on what I have read and heard. I also have a couple of Western friends living in Russia telling me flat out for Western men to stay away from Russian women cause the issues it causes with visas such as this but also such as visa scams. My friends in Russia tell me many Russian women are international gold diggers, something you also read about online again and again. You may very well have encountered a gold digger who enjoyed life in the "fast lane" with you but now moved on to the next one. A woman who all of a sudden chooses work over the relationship having the K1 process almost completed tells me there is something fundamentally wrong with this picture. I would recommend you formally contacting the embassy to cancel this so it does not haunt you later if you choose to apply again.

I'm not sure where you get your info, but it couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, if you take a look around this site you will find that by FAR Filipino women have used men to get to the US. There isn;t a week that passes on this site where I am reading about Filipino women arriving in the US and claiming VAWA when there is no abuse, getting to the US and dumping their US husband/fiance for a boyfriend they have in the US who is Filipino, very young Filipino women marrying men 30, 40 and even sometimes 50 years their senior just to get here and dump the poor sap,the list goes on and on. Am I saying that the majority of Filipino women who come here are merely in it for the green card? No. What I am saying in my years on VJ I have witnessed by far much more fraud going on in the Filipino portal.

[sevendelta 17]

With whom I'm speaking: Bjorn or Regina?

Hello

Anyway, russian women can love more unselfishly than american women. I don't say about scammers - they don't have a real relations. They ask to send money, to pay for something. But they will not meet with you 5 times for 1.5 years as our girl.

The fake relations (called scamm) is not to meet each other in real life.

All contries have bad and good persons.

I want to think about her more better than all in this topic. I believe in people.

[Bjorn&lyne 20]

Different countries definitely have different issues it seems like, even the Philippines of course. From what I read online and heard from my couple of friends, there are definitely warnings flags about Russian gold diggers, not all of course, but enough to scare me off, especially since my friends specifically told me to stay away from Russians as the chance is fairly great to run into a gold digger, from what they told me numerous times. As far as Filippinas, chances to meet a gold digger province Filippina is less than with Manila Filippinas. I have dozens of Philippine friends, both Americans, Europeans and Filppino friends who tell me the very same. From what I read, Americans married to Filippinas have the lowest divorce rate among all groups, so meeting a province Filippina decreases the likelihood of scammer and increases the likelihood of a lifelong marriage, especially since the Philippines does not really have divorce, nor do province Filippinas believe in divorce based on culture and how they are raised. What I am suggesting is that what you state about Filippinas is more likely with Manila pinays regarding in it for green card than province pinays, just as financial gold diggers are more likely to encounter with Russians than with Filippinas. That does not mean all individuals fall into that of course.

[Bjorn&lyne 20]

You are speaking with Bjorn, and I agree, women from many other nationalities "can love more unselfishly than american women", and more than Western women i general. That is a reason many Western men seek relationships with non-Western women, especially divorced men who have experience the lack of true, unselfish love from Western women.

[sevendelta 17]

Hello Bjorn

Yes, I agree with you.

Everyone wants to be loved not for money, but for personality.

Marina

Edited January 8, 2015 by sevendelta

[tonyb919 107]

I find it strange how after all these responses the OP has yet to chime in once!

[Romet 28]

sidccc,

Whoa... I'm really sorry this has happened to you.

Many people that go through the K1 visa process are DYING to be with our loved one. It's a grueling process. You were able to see each other several times in the past year+ and still BOTH of you were having issues with the distance. MANY couples only get to see their loved one ONCE during their K1 process.

Another thing, and I don't want to necessarily speak for all foreign fiance(e)'s, but I would bet that the MAJORITY of them feel serious apprehension and fear about leaving their home country, moving here, and starting a new life in a place that isn't familiar to them. Heck...how many Americans have just moved to another place in their own CITY and have to "readjust" to everything? Imagine moving to an entirely different country and you don't know the language nor culture!! It would be pretty frightening for anyone.

With that being said, when you love each other and are going through this terribly grueling process, we ALL KNOW (especially if you get obsessive with reading stories on VJ) that it's a part of the "deal". I'm on a thread with my same month filers and we vent a LOT about being away from our fiance(e) and how it's sooooooo difficult. It's torture in many cases to not be able to be with the person you love.

I'm not sure how she feels, but I think you KNOW what you have to do from what you've already written. Your GUT won't steer you wrong. This is what made you write your story and ask your question. It's (your gut) letting you know something is NOT on the "up & up".

I really hope you find the insight you need and are able to make the right and best decision for you.

If you need time, a good idea someone suggestion is to speak to her about going to Russia and try to build the relationship further. That's not a bad idea IF you have the means to take some time off and visit for a while. If she rejects that idea... As a gentlemen pointed out... she's "letting you down easy" and you should adhere to her in that regard.

Life is SHORT. Listen to your gut.

Good luck and sending good vibes (I know you're hurting now).

[thatangela 134]

Some of you really don't think about what you're saying, do you?

Russian women are this.

American women are that.

Filipina women are this.

Stereotyping of any nationality is wrong and unproductive. Bad people - women and men - are everywhere. Even in Canada.

That also means good people are everywhere - women and men.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Some of you really don't think about what you're saying, do you?

Russian women are this.

American women are that.

Filipina women are this.

Stereotyping of any nationality is wrong and unproductive. Bad people - women and men - are everywhere. Even in Canada.

That also means good people are everywhere - women and men.

It's useful to remember we're individuals with our own quirks, not breeds of dog. As you say, there are good and bad people everywhere, and to be blind to this is to be bigoted.