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He Says He Never Loved Me - Is It Fraud?

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I am so sorry this has happened to you. DIVORCE his sorry ### and move on. Let karma deal with him. Don't bother with reporting him and all of that. It will only eat away at you. Let him go. Get rid of him. Again I am sorry this happened to you. God Bless

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
Timeline

I can't read his mind so what do I know ! Sounds like a very bad marriage.

People say stuff when they are mad (in regards to the "I never loved you" line), maybe he did, maybe he said it to make you move out faster.

Obviously you aren't the love of his life but do you have enough factual proof of fraud ? I don't think there is enough.

Lack of love, separate beds and cheating happens without it being fraud.

They don't really care about a sad letter unless you have concrete evidence.

Judging by his actions he is a big jerk, feeling entitled to a double life and clueless about transparency and accountability, moping around about bills.

Buying condoms for his boss.....yeah right !

Feeling upset about life here in the US happens all the time, many start acting out like big brats when things don't go their way

and yes some do go back home, I don't doubt he wants to go home. Who cares though.

The signs of a doomed marriage were there from the beginning, I am sorry you are going through this. I have been there myself.

I called the "other woman" up one time and we had an interesting conversation !

Don't be upset with yourself for giving it a good try but stop being dependant on him and live your life.

I understand your anger but forget about revenge and deportation and focus on healing and your self and getting yourself settled

somewhere. Look for a better paying job, you can make it ! Get some confidence and independance. Focusing on fraud will drain you and rob you

of time and energy to move on. There are lots of decisions to be made for your future, stop dwelling on his. Focus on yours. The sooner the better.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ireland
Timeline

First, though I know it doesn't make this situation better by any means, I'd like to say I'm sorry for what you've had to endure from a person who is obviously a compulsive liar, selfish, self-centered, egotistical waste of space. As a fellow kind - hearted individual who has often been taken advantage of for being far too compassionate for my own good, I can at least sympathize with you and I truly hope you never have to deal with a similar situation ever again. It probably sounds condescending, but the best thing you can do is learn from what has happened, move on, grow stronger and find someone who treats you the way you deserve.

Second, it's blatantly apparent that this is fraud and he has intentionally taken advantage of your unsuspecting nature. Somebody asked why he would say he wants to return home if he was using you for a green card... and that's hilarious considering you have describe a person to whom manipulation is literally second nature. He knew what he was doing from the very beginning, knew you were catching on to him and clearly said that to you to keep you from suspecting his intentions and probably also to make you want to leave him, assuming you would probably never want to move back home with him. Even if he was being honest and, as you said, wanted to return home when he realized he wasn't able to secure a better paying career with the GC, it was STILL fraud when he entered the marriage and initially applied for AOS. It's fairly obvious what has happened based on the story and info you have provided: he had a girlfriend before he met you, was here on a temporary student visa, but the visa was expiring, he didn't want to go home, he met you, realized he could take advantage of you, used you, married you, got his green card and then wanted to get rid of you when he got what he wanted and used every excuse under the sun to make YOU feel like the guilty one and that you were the perpetrator (for looking through his stuff, making you feel guilty for him staying with you, etc).

Additionally, (though I really hate to say something so insensitive) the tragic situation with your parents has made it all that much easier for him to get away with it. Even though he was cheating on you the ENTIRE duration of your relationship and marriage and obviously used you for a green card, if the USCIS questions him regarding the matter, all he has to do is respond with the same exact load of bullshit he fed you: "Oh, I didn't use her for a green card. I didn't even want to stay because I hated my job and was in so much debt! I wanted to go home back then! I just stayed here with her because I felt so sorry for her and what happened with her family. I know it wasn't right and I shouldn't have stayed, but I still cared about her and didn't want to hurt her. Blah Blah Blah..."

The fundamental problem here is providing evidence of his fraudulent intent. The photos and other evidence you described are a step in the right direction, but the issue is that cheating does not necessarily imply fraud and I'm afraid USCIS will most likely view the situation in that manner. Any additional evidence you are currently able to provide will simply be your word against his, and I doubt that is sufficient either. Because he is so manipulative and deceitful, he's done a very good job of covering his tracks and preventing you from acquiring any substantial evidence proving fraud and this is obviously because he was aware of exactly what he was doing the ENTIRE time. And I'm sure he's not unaware of the terms and conditions of his GC and this is why he has been so careful.

Now, my advice is going to sound incredibly unorthodox and I know a lot of people won't agree with this at all, but here is what I suggest: IF AND ONLY IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY OVER HIM AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR HIM, what I recommend is taking him up on his offer to stay with him until you can find somewhere else to stay. No only will this solve your issue of not having somewhere to stay, but it will give you the opportunity to do some recon and potentially obtain some more substantial evidence against him, especially if he's is not there very often. If you're not comfortable with that, then try contacting his family, friends or this apparent girlfriend of his. Chances are they don't know anything about you. If they find out and realize what a complete tool he is, maybe there is a chance they will be willing to provide you with some evidence or at least testify against him for you. You say you aren't paid much, so this may not be a possibility, but I would also consider speaking with an immigration lawyer. Perhaps they may be able to provide some assistance with this situation, as well.

I really hope that somehow you are able to assemble a compelling enough case against this idiot to get him deported and his green card revoked. The thought of a person with the ability to be so sick, twisted and manipulative living and taking advantage of the benefits of this country while a long list of genuine, deserving and honest people are waiting patiently behind him just to be with someone they truly love infuriates me. Above all, you deserve to have him sent thousands of miles away with no hope of ever so much as setting foot in same country as you. I know this probably wasn't much help and there's not much anyone can really say to alleviate the pain and hurt this person has caused you, but I hope that you are able to get what you want out of it and move on in your life and be happy and fulfilled. Good luck!

I am the petitioner.

02/11/14 - Mailed I-129F petition to Texas Lock Box

02/20/14 - NOA1 Received Electronically

02/25/14 - Alien Registration Number changed

08/08/14 - Contacted Congressman/Senators

08/12/14 - NOA2 Received Electronically (173 days)

08/12/14 - Medical Exam in Blackrock

08/16/14 - NOA2 Hard Copy Received

08/18/14 - Case sent to NVC from TSC

08/26/14 - NVC Received

08/27/14 - NVC Case # Assigned

08/29/14 - NVC Left

09/04/14 - Dublin Embassy Received

09/04/14 - Packet 3 Received

09/08/14 - Packet 3 Returned

09/11/14 - Packet 4 Received

09/22/14 - Interview Date - APPROVED!

10/22/14 - POE (Dublin)

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Thank you everyone. Since so many other people think it is fraud too, I'm really thinking it is.

True, he said he wants to "go back home". But I'm not sure I consider that evidence of it NOT being fraud... Because 1, he could be lying about going home, I was thinking that. He could leave me and then keep on seeing the other woman.

The reason I still think its fraud (even though he doesn't seem to mind that he would lose the green card by leaving me) is because he was here on an F-1 visa, with a work permit... And he seemed soooo obsessed with the idea that a green card would make it easier for him to get a better job here... He talked about it soooooo much!

But after he got it, and he started filing out tons of job applications and going to lots of interviews and having no luck... THAT'S when he started pulling away from me, and really acting like he no longer wanted anything to do with me. Its like he was nice to me while he thought it was going to get him better jobs... And when he realized that it would not... Me and the marriage suddenly meant nothing to him anymore.

read your own post ... what would you think if you read that from somebody else? I feel horrible that you were scammed. been there, done that. I walked away.. You are better than that.

Call Ice and make an info pass appt. gather all his personal info so you can give it to whoever needs it.

Sounds like he told you he was going back to his country to get you off his back so he would feel less guilty. Number one tip off to me was the NOT sleeping with you in the same bed. I have a friend who is in the same situation. Her man sleeps on the floor. Says he's more comfortable there.. YEA...OK.... that relationship has red flags all over it but she keeps giving him the benefit of the doubt... Don't waste any more of your life on someone who doesn't give you what you deserve.. I have heard of so many fraud marriages just for a green card. It is amazing what they will do ... They are con artists. (maybe not good ones) and when he says he doesn't mind losing the card.... he's lying... he really does mind but he won't let you know that.

Wash your hands and get out.. Don't confront him anymore with the information you find.. keep it to yourself and keep a log.

10599455_10204464308625403_3658109395835

Edited by LoveMyTico

Married March 9, 2013
NOA1 I-130 April 12, 2013

Transferred to TSC Nov 27, 2013
APPROVED March 18, 2014 FINALLY ! ! ! !! 11 MONTHS & 6 LONG DAYS FOR MY NOA2
Case shipped from TSC to NVC March 21, 2014
Rec'd NOA2 hard copy March 22, 2014
Case rec'd & Case Number assigned April 1, 2014
AMAZING !!!
PAID IV and AOS fees online April 5, 2014
Fees show paid/DS 260 avail. /DS260 submitted/AOS&IV pkg sent April 9, 2014
FEDEX delivered @ NVC April 11, 2014
Revised AOS pkg delivered April 15, 2014
AOS & IV rec'd& scanned in @ NVC April 15, 2014
Revised AOS scanned April 18, 2014
AOS checklist for income and IV pkg April 30, 2014 (checklist expected due to Lawyers mistakes)
DS260 accepted April 30, 2014
Checklist for Birth cert/police cert May 1, 2014
AOS accepted May 5, 2014

Birth cert scanned MAY 8, 2014

CASE COMPLETE JUNE 4, 2014 CC letter received via email June 11, 2014

INTERVIEW JULY 15, 2014

Waiver finally FedEx'd to Phoenix Lockbox August 21, 2014

WAIVER APPROVED December 17, 2014

Received Instruction Letter via email December 23, 2014

Final Embassy Appointment January 5, 2015 YAY !

Visa ISSUED January 12, 2015

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Agreed. I wouldn't let him know that you are attempting to report him or divorce him. Get yourself in a safe situation and then he can find out later.

I hope he gets sent back to Egypt. This kind of story makes me sick, and is the reason bringing our own loved ones in is so complicated and time consuming. I'm so sorry for all of your losses. What a heartless thing to do, taking advantage of you in the time when you most needed to be loved. I wish you the best of luck. God bless!

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I am surprisingly that you could have had long enough for being so patient like that. If I were you, just let him go. You have such dependency which has seen a source of mental abuse. You let it happened because you worried no one will care about you which is not true. Abuser like him took a chance to hurt someone like you because you allowed it.

You are worried to leave him because small amount of money you have. Let me tell you this. You are stronger than you think about yourself. You have a talent. When I read your post, it flows like a river. I never read such story so vivid alive like yours on VJ. Leave him, started over your life and use your talent. You can be a good writer and can make more money from this and stop being so dependable to him. I wish you luck!

Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster.Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory. Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat

- Sun Tzu-

It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop

-Confucius-

 

-I am the beneficiary and my post is not reflecting my petitioner's point of views-

 

                                       Lifting Condition (I-751)

 

*Mailed I-751 package (06/21/2017) to CSC

*NOA-1 date (06/23/2017)

*NOA-1 received (06/28/2017)

*Check cashed (06/27/2017)

*Biometric Received (07/10/2017)

*Biometric Appointment (07/20/2017)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Indonesia
Timeline

So you need to serve 2 years of servitude to get your GC?

USC's need to serve 10 years of servitude for every scammer who plays this game?

Advise OP to get all the evidence together, pack, and leave.

AFTER the OP is out, make the infopass, put it in USCIS hands, and file for divorce.

Terrible situation. Hate to see this happen.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Australia
Timeline

Now, my advice is going to sound incredibly unorthodox and I know a lot of people won't agree with this at all, but here is what I suggest: IF AND ONLY IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY OVER HIM AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR HIM, what I recommend is taking him up on his offer to stay with him until you can find somewhere else to stay. No only will this solve your issue of not having somewhere to stay, but it will give you the opportunity to do some recon and potentially obtain some more substantial evidence against him, especially if he's is not there very often. If you're not comfortable with that, then try contacting his family, friends or this apparent girlfriend of his. Chances are they don't know anything about you. If they find out and realize what a complete tool he is, maybe there is a chance they will be willing to provide you with some evidence or at least testify against him for you.

Raising my hand as a person who doesn't agree. If it were me, I'd want to get myself out of his life as soon as I could. I wouldn't want to stay a day longer in his presence. OP, run, and do not look back. Sometimes, the greatest revenge can be moving on, and healing yourself. Report him, and divorce, and know that this is not the end of the road for you.

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Raising my hand as a person who doesn't agree. If it were me, I'd want to get myself out of his life as soon as I could. I wouldn't want to stay a day longer in his presence. OP, run, and do not look back. Sometimes, the greatest revenge can be moving on, and healing yourself. Report him, and divorce, and know that this is not the end of the road for you.

That's exactly what I said in post #47. I agree. Just run, run like the wind.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Vietnam
Timeline

Fraud hurts folks, mentally, physically, and financially. It must be reported. Sadly the politicians won't do much and USCIS is up to its armpits with far worse crimes.

From my situation and persepctive:

I really hope that somehow you are I was able to assemble a compelling enough case against this idiot to get him HER deported and his HER green card revoked. The thought of a person with the ability to be so sick, twisted and manipulative living and taking advantage of the benefits of this country while a long list of genuine, deserving and honest people are waiting patiently behind him HER just to be with someone they truly love infuriates me. Above all, you deserve to have him HER sent thousands of miles away with no hope of ever so much as setting foot in same country as you ME. I know this probably wasn't much help and there's not much anyone can really say to alleviate the pain and hurt this person has SHE caused you ME, but I hope that you are WAS able to get what you I want out of it and move on in your MY life and be happy and fulfilled WITH THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND LOVING SMART HEALTHY DAUGHTER A PARENT COULD WANT. Good luck!

OP, find your happy place without the con artist. It may not be a child but TRUE love is out there, so is God and therapy and friendships. Good luck, but please do REPORT and DIVORCE and GET OUT.

Sincerely,

VerySadGuy

30 year healthcare professional

Victim of heinous immigration romance scam

Father of a lovely little girl

And champion for those wronged by fraud.

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I am soooo sad to read your story. Losing him is not the end of the world. He does not deserve you and you don't deserve him either. He thinks he over smart you and the USCIS after his green card approval. Just like MUXAGIRL said he needs to file for removal of condition before he can get the permanent residency status, without your support he can't do it by himself. All of us in this thread sympathize with you and give the best advise for you. Be strong. There are poor people out there but they survived. You are blessed enough for having a job to sustain your needs. Be smart when dealing with him again. Never tell him if you have any plan of reporting him to the Immigration. I wish you can have those photos of your husband with that girl you can use it as evidence.

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Filed: Timeline

I didn't read through the entire thread, but as someone who was in a troubled marriage from day 1 I have the following comments:

1) I'm terribly sorry that you are in an awful relationship. His excuses are nonsense. Nobody has THAT many weird things happen. I'm sorry that a liar and cheat broke your heart. But this is not a lonely hearts forum, it's an immigration forum. Regarding the relationship, all you can do is absorb the hurt and move on. I know it's hard. It took me about a year to "get over" a woman whose pet names for me were "moron," "retard." and worse.

2) Regarding immigration, yes you can file with USCIS. They get information pertaining to fraud all the time. The fact that someone cheated on you or "said they never loved you" does not make it fraud. What could make it fraud is the entirety of the circumstances. Are there married couples who don't sleep together, with good reason? Absolutely. Are there people who marry in good faith, yet cheat? Alas, yes. But when you take everything in its entirety, USCIS has to answer the question "Did this person marry because they wanted to be a family with their spouse, or did they marry for a green card?"

I'm most familiar with the Removal of Conditions process, not Adjustment of Status. I don't know how they are similar and how they are different. For ROC, I think what would be appropriate would be to write to USCIS and give them an outline of reasons why the marriage was not in good faith - how the spouse didn't intend to cohabitate, didn't intend to share financial responsibility, didn't intend to engage in an intimate relationship, motives other than living as a family they may have had for the marriage, perhaps infidelity not as an absolute reason in itself but as indicative or reinforcing of other claims. And yes, if you feel hurt and used I see no reason not to share this information with USCIS. They are not in the business of breaking someone's legs with a tire iron if they hurt you, but they are in the business of giving green cards only to those who marry for the purpose of being a family.

3) I once asked a therapist "On a scale of 10, how bad is it to join a dating site when you're just been married, and how bad is it to read your spouse's email to find out that they are joining dating sites." Her answer was "10 and 10." My parents have been married for 60 years; they only use their cell phones for actual phone calls, and they only have one email account that they both use. This electronic age is kind of crazy. If you're gonna cheat, be really careful. (Look at what it cost Tiger Woods.)

USCIS is not going to come pick up your husband and say "Get your toothbrush, cheaters get deported." But I sense they will take into account whatever information you offer, to the extent that it supports more objective measures of whether he married for legitimate reasons or not.

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Now, my advice is going to sound incredibly unorthodox and I know a lot of people won't agree with this at all, but here is what I suggest: IF AND ONLY IF YOU ARE COMPLETELY OVER HIM AND NO LONGER HAVE ANY FEELINGS FOR HIM, what I recommend is taking him up on his offer to stay with him until you can find somewhere else to stay. No only will this solve your issue of not having somewhere to stay, but it will give you the opportunity to do some recon and potentially obtain some more substantial evidence against him, especially if he's is not there very often. If you're not comfortable with that, then try contacting his family, friends or this apparent girlfriend of his. Chances are they don't know anything about you. If they find out and realize what a complete tool he is, maybe there is a chance they will be willing to provide you with some evidence or at least testify against him for you. You say you aren't paid much, so this may not be a possibility, but I would also consider speaking with an immigration lawyer. Perhaps they may be able to provide some assistance with this situation, as well.

?????

This could be the worst life advice I have ever heard of. Find evidence for what? Even if she presented solid evidence it's still a longshot ICE would deport him. It's like saying, live with a murderer, maybe he will kill somebody while you are there and then we got him. Immigration lawyer? For what? Don't waste money on immigration lawyers, there are no immigration issues that you should concern yourself with at this time. I know human nature is to try and make the wrong doer pay but in this case, it's smarter to just cut your losses and walk away.

OP,

Sorry for this situation. Like you said, it's good to be trusting and forgiving but there are animals that will take advantage of good-hearted people.

Forget about this joker, and move on with your life. Divorce him ASAP, move away, and stop ALL contact with him. If reporting him for fraud makes you sleep better do it, but know that you will never get the satisfaction of seeing him deported (ICE will never tell if he was or will be). You will waste a lot of time doing it, and you will not get to enjoy seeing him suffer.

From your writing, it sounds like you still want to be with him. I'm really surprised that you lasted as long as you did. You kept accepting his excuses and lies, even though you knew they were lies but you didn't want to believe he was cheating on you. Even in the end, you didn't end it, he did by saying he wants to go back (yeah right...). I imagine it must be difficult to lose your parents that young. Do you have siblings, aunts/uncles that you can lean on for emotional support? If not, go on your own, and prove to yourself that you CAN make it on your own. We are very resiliant, but sometimes we just need to push ourselves to see it. Best of luck to you.

Edited by Eric-Pris
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