Negative posts about Nigerians v. postive posts

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Hello VJ friends,

Recently I posted about my husband and myself and about our relationship status since his arrival from Nigeria. For those of you who have knows about our story and visa journey then you know it took us a long time to be finally together.

Since his arrival, we have been happy and our married life has been a great one. I posted a little update to encourage those who are still in their VJ to let them know that not EVERY relationship or marriage with a Nigeria is doomed, for the wrong reasons, for scam, or destined to fail. I got over thousand readers of our post but a handful posted their comments.

Then a week or so later, another member came in and posted a very vindictive and generalized post about all Nigerians and most people on VJ jumped to the opportunity to say their peace and point a finger at the person as if saying "you should of known this would happen when you married a Nigerian!".

Often we hear only one side of the story when people come back and post their dissatisfaction with the outcome of the broken marriage/relationship. I am not saying there is no truth in their stories, but hearing one side of the story doesn't mean we are getting all the facts. I personally run a support group on FB and I have met many couples Nigerians or otherwise with most having a successful outcome once they are together.

PLEASE those who are with their mates finally, instead of forgetting to come back and share your experiences, come back and share so others can relate, learn and grow from your experiences. WE hold valuable lessons for others to learn from. It is not just the bad that needs to be share. The good and positive does too!

I might be a one voice who repeats myself......but I pray I make an impact somehow, someway to exonerate the Nigerians name and reputation. Also, to give those Nigerians who's intentions are not so noble an incentive to improve and better themselves to do right by others.

We are one race that being human. Please love, help and support each other to improve life for others as much as we do for ourselves. God bless!

[doublebng 7]

Hello VJ friends,

Recently I posted about my husband and myself and about our relationship status since his arrival from Nigeria. For those of you who have knows about our story and visa journey then you know it took us a long time to be finally together.

Since his arrival, we have been happy and our married life has been a great one. I posted a little update to encourage those who are still in their VJ to let them know that not EVERY relationship or marriage with a Nigeria is doomed, for the wrong reasons, for scam, or destined to fail. I got over thousand readers of our post but a handful posted their comments.

Then a week or so later, another member came in and posted a very vindictive and generalized post about all Nigerians and most people on VJ jumped to the opportunity to say their peace and point a finger at the person as if saying "you should of known this would happen when you married a Nigerian!".

Often we hear only one side of the story when people come back and post their dissatisfaction with the outcome of the broken marriage/relationship. I am not saying there is no truth in their stories, but hearing one side of the story doesn't mean we are getting all the facts. I personally run a support group on FB and I have met many couples Nigerians or otherwise with most having a successful outcome once they are together.

PLEASE those who are with their mates finally, instead of forgetting to come back and share your experiences, come back and share so others can relate, learn and grow from your experiences. WE hold valuable lessons for others to learn from. It is not just the bad that needs to be share. The good and positive does too!

I might be a one voice who repeats myself......but I pray I make an impact somehow, someway to exonerate the Nigerians name and reputation. Also, to give those Nigerians who's intentions are not so noble an incentive to improve and better themselves to do right by others.

We are one race that being human. Please love, help and support each other to improve life for others as much as we do for ourselves. God bless!

[Mr.&Mrs.EMB 55]

Hello VJ friends,

Recently I posted about my husband and myself and about our relationship status since his arrival from Nigeria. For those of you who have knows about our story and visa journey then you know it took us a long time to be finally together.

Since his arrival, we have been happy and our married life has been a great one. I posted a little update to encourage those who are still in their VJ to let them know that not EVERY relationship or marriage with a Nigeria is doomed, for the wrong reasons, for scam, or destined to fail. I got over thousand readers of our post but a handful posted their comments.

Then a week or so later, another member came in and posted a very vindictive and generalized post about all Nigerians and most people on VJ jumped to the opportunity to say their peace and point a finger at the person as if saying "you should of known this would happen when you married a Nigerian!".

Often we hear only one side of the story when people come back and post their dissatisfaction with the outcome of the broken marriage/relationship. I am not saying there is no truth in their stories, but hearing one side of the story doesn't mean we are getting all the facts. I personally run a support group on FB and I have met many couples Nigerians or otherwise with most having a successful outcome once they are together.

PLEASE those who are with their mates finally, instead of forgetting to come back and share your experiences, come back and share so others can relate, learn and grow from your experiences. WE hold valuable lessons for others to learn from. It is not just the bad that needs to be share. The good and positive does too!

I might be a one voice who repeats myself......but I pray I make an impact somehow, someway to exonerate the Nigerians name and reputation. Also, to give those Nigerians who's intentions are not so noble an incentive to improve and better themselves to do right by others.

We are one race that being human. Please love, help and support each other to improve life for others as much as we do for ourselves. God bless!

Very well said. We suffer the same predicament as my wife comes from those high fraud countries (Philippines). Yes, there are high fraud countries BUT that doesn't mean that everybody in that country are scammers. Thank you for sharing your story here and bringing some light to people with tunnel vision. Good luck to your entire journey through life.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Very well said. We suffer the same predicament as my wife comes from those high fraud countries (Philippines). Yes, there are high fraud countries BUT that doesn't mean that everybody in that country are scammers. Thank you for sharing your story here and bringing some light to people with tunnel vision. Good luck to your entire journey through life.

Wishing you all the best as well! please continue to share your story as well when the time comes and she is here.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Thanks for posting that LoveNigarmostyle. Indeed the negative always seems to stand out here and people don't post the good things

they experience.
I totally agree with you and encourage others to share their happy endings after the long visa journey. I have nothing but positive experience

with Nigerians but can't say the same for Americans .

As far as corruption goes, our American scammers carry brief cases on Wall Street wearing fine suits !
Look at the individual human being and never generalize an entire country and nationality.

Good topic !

[ForeverLove4u 8]

Hey girl,

Thank you for standing up for our Nigerian family. I do know the post you are referring to, and to be honest before I went to Nigeria to meet my husband I read all the post on Visa Journey, on the internet, etc. And I became discouraged and I sometimes was very negative to a man that cared about me so much.

Then one day I had to come to a realization that it was my life and my decision to go to Nigeria, meet and marry my husband. So I did, he is amazing, wonderful and makes my every day joyful. So I no longer try to read the negative comments, and I feel sorry for the ladies that have encountered scammers, etc., and we will pray for them.

I encourage other women/men to follow their heart, listen for their own red flags and ask a lot of questions from other wives, etc. There are many support groups out there and the ladies will be straight up with you on their experiences, the lessons they have learned, and all the wonderful things about being married to a Nigerian.

Praying everyone finds someone as amazing as I have. Blessings!

[HollyGolightly 72]

Agree 100% OP. Sweeping generalizations are just unfair and discriminatory. No one should claim one fact to be true of all (or class of group) without knowing each person's story. Expressing opinions like these only invite conflict which is contrary to the purpose of being in here. VJ is supposed to be a haven for people trying to find answers to immigration questions, find relief in their times of need and desperation--while they reunite with loved ones. Negative opinions and generalizations in the realm of thought should not be shared to incite intrigue or drama. People without anything good to say should just keep it to themselves.

[doublebng 7]

God bless you and your marriage. Thanks for sharing.

My marriage has been an oustanding one too. I cant complain, two years now, and counting.

A good heart, will always be a good heart. People get into marriages, for various reasons. Ranging from "True love, Wanting a life partner, Pleasing friends or family, Deceit, Seeking greener pastures,.......the list goes on. But i had always prayed for one thing, when it came to me settling down with a life partner,: "That where ever my other half is situated or stationed, the Good lord should help me locate, see and meet up with her". Just believe me, the Good Lord answerd my prayer.

Bottom line, still remains that, in the QUEST of finding a life partner, people should pray, that God helps them locate that special someone, that was specially designed for them and them, for him/her. No matter the skin tone, tribe, language, religion, height, size.........name it, once God leads you to that right person, the rest of your days will be filled with blessings and tales of how positive, sharing a life with that special someone, has been.

(Don't forget, No human is perfect !!! So i plead, "always try to live with and condone those little imperfections, you see or feel, in your life partner" because even YOU, have imperfections.)

THANKS.

[doublebng 7]

Hey girl,

Thank you for standing up for our Nigerian family. I do know the post you are referring to, and to be honest before I went to Nigeria to meet my husband I read all the post on Visa Journey, on the internet, etc. And I became discouraged and I sometimes was very negative to a man that cared about me so much.

Then one day I had to come to a realization that it was my life and my decision to go to Nigeria, meet and marry my husband. So I did, he is amazing, wonderful and makes my every day joyful. So I no longer try to read the negative comments, and I feel sorry for the ladies that have encountered scammers, etc., and we will pray for them.

I encourage other women/men to follow their heart, listen for their own red flags and ask a lot of questions from other wives, etc. There are many support groups out there and the ladies will be straight up with you on their experiences, the lessons they have learned, and all the wonderful things about being married to a Nigerian.

Praying everyone finds someone as amazing as I have. Blessings!

God bless you, wishing you all the best. Thanks for sharing.

[LoveNigarmostyle 164]

Thanks for posting that LoveNigarmostyle. Indeed the negative always seems to stand out here and people don't post the good things

they experience.

I totally agree with you and encourage others to share their happy endings after the long visa journey. I have nothing but positive experience

with Nigerians but can't say the same for Americans .

As far as corruption goes, our American scammers carry brief cases on Wall Street wearing fine suits !

Look at the individual human being and never generalize an entire country and nationality.

Good topic !

Thanks for adding more facts. Corruption comes in every color, economic status, country and so on. It is the individual that needs to be judged not the entire nation.

God bless you, wishing you all the best. Thanks for sharing.

Hey girl,

Thank you for standing up for our Nigerian family. I do know the post you are referring to, and to be honest before I went to Nigeria to meet my husband I read all the post on Visa Journey, on the internet, etc. And I became discouraged and I sometimes was very negative to a man that cared about me so much.

Then one day I had to come to a realization that it was my life and my decision to go to Nigeria, meet and marry my husband. So I did, he is amazing, wonderful and makes my every day joyful. So I no longer try to read the negative comments, and I feel sorry for the ladies that have encountered scammers, etc., and we will pray for them.

I encourage other women/men to follow their heart, listen for their own red flags and ask a lot of questions from other wives, etc. There are many support groups out there and the ladies will be straight up with you on their experiences, the lessons they have learned, and all the wonderful things about being married to a Nigerian.

Praying everyone finds someone as amazing as I have. Blessings!

AMEN!!

[dwheels76 5,459]

Well I for one love the stories. Yes there's pain and heartache (raising my hand...both ), but through it all its about the journey and the friends and love ones we meet and hold dear in our hearts.

My journey isn't the happy ever after like so many of you, but I am still here and love reading when people come back and give report on how it is. Because frankly there's so much bad news and its nice to see people trying their best to make the best of things and making it work.

I am still here and will forever try and be here to make sure a light stays on to help others and guide others to their happy ever after.

My heart is full and leaps for joyous praise with ever Approval, Every post and exclamation I read leaping odd the pages. Every "My husband is home this is the happiest day of my life". Keep it coming people. This is how we give hope to the hopeless and the discouraged.

[ndu26 114]

You are so right about the one-sided stories. Granted, no relationship is without its ups and downs but we should stop the generalizations especially towards the negative.

Yesterday was my husband's 11th month in the United states.

It has been a very busy transition for me with baby #2 about to arrive. VJ has been on my mind, but with a big belly,an infant, school, fulltime work etc, its been almost impossible to come and share( Thank God for rmy mom who stays with us). Maybe I should leave myself signed in 'forever' on the PC for easy access lol.

It is good to see old names again

[dwheels76 5,459]

You are so right about the one-sided stories. Granted, no relationship is without its ups and downs but we should stop the generalizations especially towards the negative.

Yesterday was my husband's 11th month in the United states.

It has been a very busy transition for me with baby #2 about to arrive. VJ has been on my mind, but with a big belly,an infant, school, fulltime work etc, its been almost impossible to come and share( Thank God for rmy mom who stays with us). Maybe I should leave myself signed in 'forever' on the PC for easy access lol.

It is good to see old names again

Ndu OMG. When you left last baby #1 was here and mum was arriving. My goodness. Congratulations. That is awesome. Have missed you girl.

Edited April 14, 2014 by dwheels76

[His Glory 25]

I have a good friend who is on this site too.....married a Nigerian in 2006. I believe...he has been here since 2008. He is a wonderful God fearing man. Everything he promised to her he followed through with. One thing he promised her was one day she wouldn't have to work and it took him 3 years of working in the states to fulfill that promise but he announced to her some years back he didn't want her to work anymore. Now they are both serving as fulltime ministers. Hes schedule is tight because of working, preaching and serving as an Elder in their congregation. They are still like newlyweds.