Phil/Am Couples have you talked about having kids?

[kev_n_jena 89]

While reading the very long thread about age differences I started thinking about this subject. When my wife Jena and I started seriously chatting online about our future together the subject of children came up fairly early. I was in my early 40's and had never had children. She was in her early 20's and definitely wanted children. Not know whether or not I could have kids I told her God willing we would have children of our own but I could not promise her that it would happen. Giving her my word that we would try was enough for Jena. Thankfully God blessed us with a happy healthy boy 10 months ago.

We wouldn't be together today if I hadn't wanted a family. I wouldn't have pursued the relationship knowing how she felt.

That being said, have you had a heartfelt discussion on the subject?

[danver 15]

While reading the very long thread about age differences I started thinking about this subject. When my wife Jena and I started seriously chatting online about our future together the subject of children came up fairly early. I was in my early 40's and had never had children. She was in her early 20's and definitely wanted children. Not know whether or not I could have kids I told her God willing we would have children of our own but I could not promise her that it would happen. Giving her my word that we would try was enough for Jena. Thankfully God blessed us with a happy healthy boy 10 months ago.

We wouldn't be together today if I hadn't wanted a family. I wouldn't have pursued the relationship knowing how she felt.

That being said, have you had a heartfelt discussion on the subject?

When hubby and I started chatting online in 2003, we already agreed that we will have no more kids since he already had 2 and i had 2 from past relationship.

To make the story short we were blessed with a now 4 yr. old boy(the only in his family). Kids are always god's best gift.

[Benediction 15]

Yes and I look forward to creating that soon God willing of course.

[kev_n_jena 89]

It's my experience that a lot of Filipinas like the idea of having a mixed race child. Jena had the dream as a young girl that she would grow up, marry an "American" and have kids with him. American is in quotes because when Jena was young, she assumed all foreigners she saw in her small town were American.

It's interesting to me how many mixed race actors and performers there are in the RP. There seems to be a fascination with them. Has anyone seen the little white kid with blue eyes speaking perfect Tagalog? His adopted mother is a Filipina and the kid became a celebrity almost instantly.

[N-o-l-a 7,168]

It's my experience that a lot of Filipinas like the idea of having a mixed race child. Jena had the dream as a young girl that she would grow up, marry an "American" and have kids with him. American is in quotes because when Jena was young, she assumed all foreigners she saw in her small town were American.

It's interesting to me how many mixed race actors and performers there are in the RP. There seems to be a fascination with them. Has anyone seen the little white kid with blue eyes speaking perfect Tagalog? His adopted mother is a Filipina and the kid became a celebrity almost instantly.

Actually I have a weird addition to this. As I think I've mentioned, my daughter is part Filipino - both her father and aunt are pretty obvious Filipino mixes especially when they tan, but my daughter looks a lot like my now Danish husband - she has fair skin, light eyes, and blond hair that is going brown. Her family is constantly comparing pictures of her and her cousin who looks a lot more Filipino and has darker skin and hair. They seem to prefer her looks, which I find a bit unsettling (they have huge pictures of her around their house).

[JimmynMaribel 1]

It's my experience that a lot of Filipinas like the idea of having a mixed race child. Jena had the dream as a young girl that she would grow up, marry an "American" and have kids with him. American is in quotes because when Jena was young, she assumed all foreigners she saw in her small town were American.

It's interesting to me how many mixed race actors and performers there are in the RP. There seems to be a fascination with them. Has anyone seen the little white kid with blue eyes speaking perfect Tagalog? His adopted mother is a Filipina and the kid became a celebrity almost instantly.

Hmmmm When I read this I knew that I would have to reply. My Fiance Maribel finly confessed this very thing. She was Very shy To tell me This, We would get into long discussions of what we were looking for in a partner. The topic would aways lead back To "Why you Not want a Pinoy" is the question I would ask...She is 24 and only had one serious boy friend. She was 20 and he was 35 also filipino..She was envolved with him for 2 years. When she had a Job change and moved she ended it..And she would just say she didn't want another fiflipino BF..It's her choice as she likes to say..Long story short hahaha She finally said that this has been a dream of hers to have a foreigner for a husband and family ..

We do have a large age gap..I have Been very honest with everything in my past, And My current financial status..Im just an average joe work hard everyday for the things I have. I to want to have children also....As your story we hadthat talk early in our relationship as it should be... But I am amazed @ the men that will not be straight with what they position is on children..How can you start a relationship with someone and say your not sure about children..or wait to be clear about it..Knowing the culture and desires of a young filipina..Maribel said a girl is not complete til she has @ least one child hehehe...We agreed on 2..Ok I'm done ramblin' on

I'm just Glade to see That this is not unheard of... I'm sure there are to one who will say again she only wants a GC are to Get Money for here family..But thats a whole nother thread..

Take care, and God Bless

[lierre 224]

Actually I have a weird addition to this. As I think I've mentioned, my daughter is part Filipino - both her father and aunt are pretty obvious Filipino mixes especially when they tan, but my daughter looks a lot like my now Danish husband - she has fair skin, light eyes, and blond hair that is going brown. Her family is constantly comparing pictures of her and her cousin who looks a lot more Filipino and has darker skin and hair. They seem to prefer her looks, which I find a bit unsettling (they have huge pictures of her around their house).

Always the fascination with what's different... i think that's the primary reason for this.

I've also met this lady, whose husband is half-Filipino. However, their daughter looks a lot like this lady. Blond hair, blue eyes, Caucasian skin color. It was interesting to me as a medical professional... Brown eyes and dark hair usually occur in pairings like this. But, I guess you are lucky (if you see it that way) that she got your genes.

I believe any relationship that is for the long term should come with an agreement on the issue of having children before marriage. My husband and I both want children. Definitely not right now, since we just married less than a year ago. We also want to completely know each other first before bringing in another human into our little family

Edited January 25, 2013 by ivyanddan

[Thermite 3]

Yep we talked about it we agreed on 2 kids max thought that would be a good number

[actob99 156]

We have had many conversations on the subject and we too will try and have children together, Gods will of course. She really wants a girl so we will see how may times it takes, lol.

[Tintin and Mike 127]

Yes, two kids the most

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

That being said, have you had a heartfelt discussion on the subject?

Yes. The answer is no.

[Wariza 8]

I think that was something we both were looking for in a spouse. Neither of us have children, and as we grew older we wanted children even more.

Edited January 25, 2013 by Wariza

[JoBri 548]

Sure did... I never had children before either, and didnt know if I could, like you. She got pregnant when I was in the Philippines when we got married, but she had a miscarriage 2 weeks into that. Then 6 months after she got here she became pregnant again, and now we have a very healthy and energetic 2 1/2 year old. His name is Shen.

While reading the very long thread about age differences I started thinking about this subject. When my wife Jena and I started seriously chatting online about our future together the subject of children came up fairly early. I was in my early 40's and had never had children. She was in her early 20's and definitely wanted children. Not know whether or not I could have kids I told her God willing we would have children of our own but I could not promise her that it would happen. Giving her my word that we would try was enough for Jena. Thankfully God blessed us with a happy healthy boy 10 months ago.

We wouldn't be together today if I hadn't wanted a family. I wouldn't have pursued the relationship knowing how she felt.

That being said, have you had a heartfelt discussion on the subject?

[Caryh 5,206]

We have a fair sized age gap, almost 17 years, and I had two kids from an earlier marriage. Long ago I had a vasectomy thinking two kids were enough for me. Now she wants a child, just one would be fine with her. I was totally honest, I told her I thought I was done having children and about my inability to father a child now because of the vasectomy. But I did research reversals, and I told her I was willing to try a reversal so she could have a child. I will admit, I was only saying I wanted a reversal for her sake, I'd be fine not having another child, but I loved her and know how much it meant to her. But now that she is here and we're married, I'm looking forward to having a child with her. It's no longer something I feel I should do so she could be a mother, I actually really want her to have my baby and raise that child with her. My wife regularly double checks with me, as to still wanting a child. She gets concerned that at my age of 53, I may be worried about looking more like grandpa than papa. But If I really worried about what people thought, I wouldn't be married to someone of another race, an immigrant, and someone 17 years younger.

The only thing I'm really worried about is my oldest, and a bit too opinionated daughter. I mentioned the possibility of having another kid and she just laughed about it because she knows I've had the vasectomy. She knew about my wife for years before she came here and we got married, and went into shocked distress when it actually happened. It took a bit of talking to her and a bit of time on her part to get over it. Somehow I guess in her mind it invalidated her life because her father found someone new and got married again. I'm pretty sure having another child will have the same affect, but that's her problem really, not mine. But I'm still not looking forward to that aspect of it. Hopefully it won't have to turn into a new drama I need to deal with in the future, but I don't make my life decisions based on a daughter who can turn into a true drama queen at the drop of a hat.

[LoveLife2 5]

Te answer is YES!

My girl has two beautiful boys aged 6 and 8. I have been in long term relationships and even married but no kids as my partner/wife at the time didn’t want even though she said she did BEFORE we got maried. I'm 48 and healthy and more than willing to raise kids as I have been the best Uncle and Godfather to my closest loved ones growing up. My girl wants to have a baby with me and I say YES. She want a Green eyed baby girl. Not sure I can promise either but sure will try. But if God doesn't bless us, I will never be disappointed as I know I can be a Great Dada to her boys. I want to teach them so much! How to Ice fish since I live in MN, Snowmobile ride, build a fort in the back yard or in a tree, make a snowman, go sliding or skiing, Work on a car engine, How to ice skate/play Hockey, Defend themselves against bullies, how to ask a girl out that they like.

You see, If we are blessed with another child, I will be so happy.But yet, I'm so blessed to have two healthy boys that already know me and hopefully come to love me as their Papa and protector.

That is my wish.

Brad