What's the reaction to your marriage

[jeffreya1978 0]

Hi,

I am 56 years old and my filipina wife is 23. We have been married almost 2 years now. I understand your concerns and I had the same ones before we got married. But I am truly impressed by how well other people have accepted us. We have gone many places, just part of living together, and I can not think of any incidents where I felt uncomfortable with her. We live in Ohio and it is a very conservative state compared to the west coast but I feel very comfortable here with my wife. I'm sure there are people here who think things but I really don't care what others think - I just know that our experience together has been truly wonderful. No one has made any comments nor have I noticed any uncomfortable "looks." I think you should just follow your heart and not worry about what others may think. That has been my attitude and it has served me well. I wake up every morning and feel blessed that my life has turned out so well.

I wish you and your wife all the best! Just love each other and enjoy the time you have together.

Jeff

[Hank_ 9,173]

Which streets are you walking down?

Ya I was wondering more than that after reading those two posts... more like what "state" is he in.

Edited January 13, 2013 by Hank_

[Kevo 69]

If you mean "ate" that means "sister", and is what you call a girl your own age, that you are acquainted with informally.

OLDER sister, key word being older.

[Caryh 5,206]

We don't really get any issues from anyone. Probably an occassional stare in public but I'm not really one to worry about such things. Our gap is 17 years, and I will admit it bothered me at first. Way back those many years ago, my now wife said if it doesn't bother her it shouldn't bother me. I put it behind me and haven't worried about it since. A few people had resevations about her, worried she may be a green card hunter, they were really just worried about me. No one worries about that after she got here and see us together. BTW my wife is in her mid 30's and very petite, and short even for a provintial Filipina, so people always guess her age as much younger than she actually is.

As to meeting other Fil/Am couples, as long as you're in a fair sized city, its going to happen. We live in Minnesota which really doesn't have a huge Filipino population, but we run into them all the time. We've built up a circle of friends that gets together to do things. There seems to be a lot of Filipinas that want just the women to hang together and exclude the husbands, I kind of put the nix on groups like that. Many of them are divorced and they always have drama going on. It bothered my wife at first until they started wrapping her up in the drama. But they were some of the first Filipina she met, and it bothered her kess once she met more with more compatble life styles with us. In my view successful married couples are those that do things together, and not apart. So we associate with other couples that think the same way.

[Kevo 69]

Nope. Same age.

In fact, 90% of the girls I interact with on a daily basis are probably 18-20ish. So half my age. They are still 'ate'. Saan nagaral ka ng Pilipino?

The terms "Kuya" and "Ate" are used to address an older brother and sister respectively as a sign of respect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippine_kinship

[sunandmoon 450]

Nope. Same age.

In fact, 90% of the girls I interact with on a daily basis are probably 18-20ish. So half my age. They are still 'ate'. Saan nagaral ka ng Pilipino?

[sunandmoon 450]

Then there is the whole mail-order bride thing. I understand that something like 99% of Fil-Am relationships are a result of a desperate man and a mail-order bride.

and the hits just keep on coming... how did you come to this understanding? the way as the meaning of ate?

[Leatherneck 693]

I feel a 'thread lock' coming.

[spn1025 38]

I feel a 'thread lock' coming.

probably..

and I miss leche flan.

anyway, my opinion to this whole thread, if you're 30+ then keep the gap to 10 years. That's not a rule of thumb for everyone, but if you come on here and have to ask if you'll be accepted in society with someone half your age (or a third for some people), then maybe you're not ready for that kind of relationship. If it bothers you what other people will think about you and say about you because you're engaged/married to someone considerably younger than you, then maybe it was more of just a fantasy for you that you had to complete.

To make a relationship like that last, you need confidence in yourself and your wife, you need to accept the fact that no matter what, people are gonna look, and you need to accept the fact that it's not the "norm" in America. Doesn't mean it's wrong, though. Everyone has their own lives, everyone has their own preferences. Some people are gay. Some people prefer interracial. Some people prefer younger girls. Some people like midgets. If you want your relationship to be true and to last, then the only opinion that should matter to you is your spouse's.

[Penguin_ie 5,985]

**** several posts removed for personal attacks and quoting same. Be civil and give constructive advice or do not post. *****

[mrsSpitze 9]

If you mean "ate" that means "sister", and is what you call a girl your own age, that you are acquainted with informally. Like a tindera or tambay. Somewhat respectful, yet very informal. Kinda like "hey bro", or "excuse me brother"(in a west coast/surfer/Hulk Hogan kinda way?) We don't have an exact translation or the non-relative sense of 'ate' and 'kuya'! lol

You should call her "ginang"...or "lola" lol

Ate - is what you call a girl who is older than you. Also known as eldest/elder sister.

Kuya - is what you call a guy who is older than you. Also known as eldest/elder brother.

We filipinos tend to call the vendors ate/kuya because we still want to address them when we talk to them.

**sorry off topic**

[actob99 156]

Mostly Metro Manila. But also in provinces in all three regions. It's a nation-wide, cultural thing. You'v never been?

I 've lived in Cebu, Metro Manila, AC and in two provinces. The current province is a little Island with nonelectricity. All we get is looks, thats because were both smoking hot..

We have went out with her Niece once- She got yelled at a couple times, but we were in AC, she was dressed like a Who"@, loud, and Mayabong. And yelling at the guys too. So I guess like everything else in life, It's how you conduct yourself.

[actob99 156]

This thread appears that it even kept the Penguin up late...

[actob99 156]

To the OP- age doesn't matter.. Inlike the poster eho said you have to have confidence... Good comment.. I like to say, if it's true love and your crazy like a couple of kids you wouldn't be asking these questions. These questions are asked by someone who is unsure and maybe needs to put more seat time(time spent together in person) in.. It's all up to you if it's going to bother you and if you can't accrpt somr loss of friends and family..

We have 22 yrs difference and I'm 41. I'm aleays told I look like 30, good genes from mom. She looks young but also can look older. Anyway, I planned on more looks but really don't get many- just the guy's checking her out. As far as friends, one or two that I thought would have some things to say didn't and loved her. A couple friends wives that I thought would be ok are kind of dissapearing a bit, but who the F$&@ cares... I love the comment- she could be dating my son!! Well she's not and don't think about it, lol.. We both have tough skin, think you have to if you're married to a filipina.. so were all good and in crazy love with each other. So far i feel truly blessed that I found my wife. Previous to her I dated a few that I met online and a few I met through family and friends while living there. Alao some I met on my own, and a little time spent together always seemed to weed them out..

[Hank_ 9,173]

There are no states in the Philippines.

It's provinces.

The "state" I was hinting at was in the Philippines... maybe its in never-never-land.