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Another heartbreak

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Iran
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The problem with staying is her attitude. She sounds like the type who will move over to complete, full on abuse if she gets away with the cheating. She sounds like she is not interested in the slightest

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We are deeply sorry for all this suffering you are going through. My hubby and I read your post and, we think the best thing you can do for now is, in first place, find sometime for yourself. Give yourself some time to think things through, as you said, look at the whole thing from an outsider perspective. Besides, if you have a good job offer, take it. It will give you something else to focus on and some self esteem reassurance. We hope you can find the peace you need and the strenght to carry on with whatever decision you take.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Haiti
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First, put God first! Only he can ease your pain and help you make a rational decision without anger or hate. It's easy to say you can pick up and go stay with a friend or go back home, but the fact of the matter is you stated it "you would take a bullet for this woman". That is love my friend. Who knows maybe she will do it again, or maybe not. If you decide to stay! you must learn to forgive, and if you decide to go! you would never know what could have became. Do not make any rash decision until you have thought long and hard about it. As far as your Wife I am a believer that when you have committed yourself to someone it is for better or for worst. There should have been no need for temptation. Her temptation should have been missing her husband, and wanting you so desperately to be there with her. My friend keep your head up, keep the faith, and what ever decision you make God is with you.

Edited by dhaiti20
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We had lunch yesterday and went grocery shopping. I'm acting very calmly around her surprisingly. I realize you don't get answers by screaming at someone. The major problem I have in this is that she gets defensive.

She has always had a way of turning blame over to another person. We got into a car accident one time, she was driving. Car was totaled but both of us escaped unharmed. I ran out of the passenger seat, grabbed her and carried her out of the car and off the freeway. She was immediately very apologetic, to which I responded she had no reason to be and that it could happen to anyone. A while later she blamed me for the accident saying I made a poor decision by letting her drive in the first place. (We were late going somewhere, she was complaining about my slow driving and insisted she drive instead)

I'm seeing some of that again here.. She spends a little bit of time being apologetic, and if I'm still not "satisfied" she gets defensive. She told me she wants to work things out, that it happened, and for me not to think about it so much, "I don't even talk to him anymore".. I know it's still early, but she hasn't done or said anything to make me feel wanted. She's willing to admit that she was weak, f****d up, that she knew it wasn't right. In the same conversation though she also managed to inform me that "in a way" I did it to myself by "allowing another man" to do things for her I hadn't done, and that he wouldn't have done that to his wife (and 3 kids) either if he was happy with his wife. She also seems very concerned that I'll tell her family, my family or any of our friends..

I can't help giving myself part of the blame though. She has been so patient with me. She has been so good with me and my family through the years, and we have had problems in our relationship which I know have been my fault and which I haven't done enough to fix. In a way I blame myself for the separation too - It was my decision not to AOS after the wedding, but instead try living in my country. It was my decision to wait 11 months with the I-130 and try to get her a residence permit in my country first. And during our separation, there were plenty of times when I could have potentially done more to make sure the distance wasn't so obvious. But in the end, they weren't all my decisions alone, I had a big say, but we did make these decisions together..

That woman ain't worth anything, Pal. Time to be selfish and do what seems right and please do not pick the easiest solution. Any time or word spent on this woman should've a waste of yours and others time. I am speaking from a personal experience.

This is what I usually say to friends if something similar has happened to them. And I've always lived by the notion that cheating is unforgivable. But it's a very different scenario when you've spent 4 years with them, opened joint accounts with them and spent the last 3 thanksgivings with their family. Being selfish is one thing - What my own selfishness wants is what's in question..

This woman's brother is like my younger brother, I go hiking with her dad and uncle, and her mother will call me just to chat if she hasn't heard from us in a few weeks. She's just as close to my family. Had this been any of my ex girlfriends, I would have been out of the apartment as soon as I found out. But there's a whole other level to this than just packing up and leaving. We're very closely knit, and up until very recently, I wanted to grow old with this woman. I still do - But not knowing what happened. Right now I'm paranoid even having her sleep at a coworker's house. Most of all I just want to forget.

I'll second this. But for now, OP, don't decide anything this week or next. I say wait till the first week of February to decide something. Why to wait? IMO, you need to listen to her a bit more, when she's ready to talk about this stuff. She's not ready, at the moment. I think you two have a fair shot at making it all work out, to be honest. However, having a big job can be a godsend, as it forces you to focus attention on something else. ---The above was free advice - take it or leave it.

I'm still waiting to hear back from their HR dept. I think you're right about a job being a godsend - At least it will force me to think about something else.. And right now, apart from the little savings I have, she's the one supporting me financially.

Who ever is? The important thing is that you're demonstrating great strength and resolve, and an amazing amount of poise and circumspection, after having taken a blow to the gut. Only a real man -- and a guy who has his head screwed on very straight -- reacts like this.Here's something else to consider. I came up with this years ago, when dealing with situations in my own life.THE "HAPPINESS HIERARCHY"1. Happily married2. Happily single3. Unhappily single4. Unhappily marriedObviously ranked from best to worst, si man. At some points in our lives, #2 may temporarily equal #1, but #3 and #4 never change positions, no man.

Thank you. Your happiness hierarchy I think is spot on, and absolutely something to take into consideration.

Edited by jhwh303
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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Denmark
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I think you know that we've gone through similar things. Trying to live in Denmark did almost drive us to break up and Bjarne blames himself over and over for it. I've made the choice to stay here with him on the edge of legality and what will soon be illegality. I'm soon approaching my "6 month EU job seeking" limit. I don't really care because I get to be with him. Your wife made the choice not to live in your country with you. She made that choice, not you. She could have found a way to live with you during the process. She could have been devoted and faithful even if she wanted to remain in America. It is a lame #### excuse and you know it.

We've also got similar family situations. I am in love with my in-laws and Bjarne's sister is just like my own. We talked for hours on Skype before I moved here and he thinks I like her more than he does. She comes over all the time and we share pregnancy tests and "war" stories. My mother and my SIL get along really well...they even talk on Skype! His mother loves my daughter like her own grandchild. She is amazing.

It doesn't really change how either of us would react to cheating though. I know how hard it is to walk away from a relationship you've put so much into, but sometimes it just has to happen. Especially when not only has she cheated but she blames you for it. That really does sound like it is on its way to emotional abuse. I remember my ex husband doing that and he was damn good at it, he even had me believing that I deserved everything he did to me. Maybe it will help to find within yourself what kind of things you think you deserve and desire in a life partner and whether this person meets those requirements and whether they would meet them if you just met them? To me, the lying, deception, and lack of taking responsibility and concern for me would be an automatic dis-qualifier.

Please, please stop blaming yourself for this. Even if things were rough and you weren't completely emotionally available (my Dane has the emotional range of a pet rock compared to me), a mature, ethical, and caring person calls you tells you that they are worried about the relationship, attempts to work on it, and if that fails....they walk away before sleeping with someone else. Don't let her place this blame on you. It is 100% on her.

3/2/18  E-filed N-400 under 5 year rule

3/26/18 Biometrics

7/2019-12/2019 (Yes, 16- 21 months) Estimated time to interview MSP office.

 

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Cyprus
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Blame Protects One Spouse and Damages The Other:

Blame allows a spouse to put responsibility on their mate and everything other than himself/herself. It means your spouse doesn’t have to experience the discomfort of looking at their own faults or take responsibility for the situation. If a spouse doesn’t have to look at their own faults or take responsibility that means they don’t have to change. It is the other person who needs to change...so the problems and the blaming spouse can stay in their comfort zone.

Abraham Maslow said, “One can spend a lifetime assigning blame, find the cause 'out there' for all the troubles that exist. Contrast this with the 'responsible attitude' of confronting the situation, bad or good, and instead of asking, 'What caused the trouble? Who was to blame?' asking 'How can I handle this present situation to make the most of it? What can I salvage here?”

Next time your spouse blames you instead of taking responsibility tell him/her they are failing to have a responsible attitude. And, in doing so, are failing to get the most they can out of the situation.

The last thing you need is to blame yourself. It is a form of being in denial of the severity of the situation by accepting the blame. Saying to yourself "if I had done this or that it would not have happened" makes her less responsible and you justify everything to accept her back more easily.

Real talk :

You are enabling her blame game. She is immature, irresponsible, not trust worthy and you need to take some time away to detach and look from the outside in.

I suggest counseling to help you see that clearly.

From a woman's standpoint let me say that the real question she needs to ask herself here is "How could I have handled this differently, what will I do to prevent this temptation the next time he doesn't do this or that and how do I sharpen my communication skills to improve my marriage before I trip and fall into an affair again as a means of escape, because he didn't live up to my expectations?"

She will develop this control and manipulation of the blame game to the fullest if you do not stop it here and now and tell her you will never accept blame for the cheating. Period.

She knows your weak spots, do not enable her. Allow her to do some tough self examination and to face responsibility for her actions and to suffer the consequences whatever they may be.

Don't deny her that growth spurt by accepting part of the blame for her....let her face it all to work through it.

It is unreasonable and lazy of her to demand you forget so quickly. She is in one heck of a selfish comfort zone and you are

enabling that zone by accepting blame and guilt that she projects onto you. Say no thanks and hand it back where it belongs, with her.

The pattern won't break until you understand this and a new foundation of trust can't be laid without it.

Accountability, self examination, self awareness, communication skills and responsibility are lacking with her behavior.

Wishing you the best ~ sorry for your pain.

Spoiler

 

I-129F Sent : 3-31-2014, NOA2: 4-6-2014

NVC Received : some dinkelsberry yehoo in the house of clingons send our petition to the wrong consulate.

Consulate Received : July 30,2014 Transfer to right embassy complete.

Interview Date : Oct 22, 2014

Interview Result : AP , requesting another PC (not expired) and certified divorce decree (was submitted)Stokes interview via phone for petitioner 4 hrs after interview.

Oct 23 email notification visa approved.
Visa Received : Nov. 3 , 2014 VISA IN HAND.

US Entry : Nov. 21, 2014

Marriage : Dec 27, 2014

AOS send : May 12, 2015, received May 14, 2015 USPS priority

Email &text : May 18, 2015, check cashed May 19,2015, return receipt May 21, 2015 stamped USCIS Lockbox, NOA1 (3x) May 22,2015

Biometrics : June 1, 2015 letter received for appointment June 8, 2015, successful walk-in June 1, 2015

RFE : June 12, 2015 for income not meeting guideline. Income does ( ! ) exceed guideline.

RFE response : June 26, 2015 returned with a boat load full of financial evidence.

UPDATE: July 5, 2015 updated on all 3 cases, RFE received June 30, 2015.

Service request : Aug 12, 2015, letter received that it will be processed within 90 days from receipt of RFE.

UPDATE: Aug 24, 2015, EAD card being produced/ordered. ( 102 days from AOS receipt day and 55 days from RFE response received.) Thank you Jesus !

Emails : Aug 24, 2015, EAD approved, EAD card ordered.

I-797 EAD/AP approval notice received : Aug 27, 2015

EAD/AP combo card mailed : Aug 27, 2015, EAD/AP combo card received: Aug 31, 2015

Renewal application send for EAD/AP : May 31,2016 (AOS pending over 1 year). Received June 2, 2016,Notice date June7, 2016, emails,texts, NOA1 hard copy

Service request for pending AOS April 21, 2016, case not assigned yet.
Service request for pending AOS June 14, 2016, tier 2 said performing background checks.
Expedite request for EAD/AP Aug 3, 2016, Aug10 notification >request was received, assigned, completed. RFE letter requesting evidence for expedite, docs faxed Aug18

*Service request for I-485 Aug 3, 2016, Aug11 notification> request was assigned. Service request Dec 2, 2016.
AOS Interview letter received Aug 12, 2016

AOS Interview September 21, 2016.

Second Biometrics appointment letters received for EAD and AOS on Aug 15, 2016 for Aug 17 ( 2 day notice).

Second Biometrics completed Aug 17, 2016

Third Biometrics appointment letter received Aug 19, 2016 for Sept. 1, 2016. WTH ?!

EAD/AP (renewal) approval Aug 22, 2016, NOA2 received Aug 25, 2016

Renewal EAD in production notification text and online, expedite successful 4 days after RFE request response was faxed, Aug25mailed,Aug29received.

Sept. 21 Interview, 2 hour interview, we were separated and asked about 50 questions each for an hour each. IO was firm but professional, some smiles.
Several service requests made, contacted Senator and Ombudsman. Background checks still pending.
July 21, 2017 HOME VISIT.  Went well. Topic thread in AOS forum.
Waiting to skip ROC and get 10 yr GC due to over 2 year while pending AOS
AOS APPROVED Oct. 4, 2017 * Green card in hand Oct 13, 2017 !!!!!

First K1 denied after 16 month of AP. Refiled. We are a couple since 2009. Not a sprint but a matter of endurance.

 

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Filed: Timeline

I have a question...are you sure she doesn't have some type of mental illness??? or is it some type of severe immaturity on her part??? because reading every reply you have made, she always in the end blames it on you as if it was basically all your fault. Also, please try not to ever fall into the trap of justifying her actions. Yes, you took a while to AOS and living in your country, however that is no excuse at all for her to go out and cheat on you. She should have been more patient or found something CONSTRUCTIVE to do and not something DESTRUCTIVE that she has done.

I worry about what will happen next time you might slacken off in an area of your relationship (because no one is perfect, obviously).....will she go out and do it again, then turn around and put the blame on you once again???

To me....this looks like a vicious, manipulative cycle on her part that in both the short term and long term, won't be healthy for you.

Ask yourself is it really worth even considering having kids later on and running this type of risk again. Because it seems like its a behavioral pattern that she can do whatever she wants when something doesn't go her way or doesn't get the attention she needs and blames everyone but herself....she definitely needs to grow up and take responsibility for her actions.

We can choose our actions,.....however we can not choose our consequences....

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
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I will just say this.

If our house were on fire I would run into it to save my wife's life...even if I burned to death. If a car was going to hit her, I would push her out of the way and take the hit myself. If a man broke into our house and threatened her, I would shoot him until he was dead. Get it?

Would you do those things? Would most people?

So I would DIE for my wife, I would KILL for my wife...understand?

So would I throw away my life with my wife if she had sex with someone else?

Get real! It's SEX.

Try another thing, ANY of you...

write down the 10 best things about your wife and your marriage. Go ahead.

Is "She will never have sex with anyone else until she dies" on that list?

Didn't think so. So you will DIVORCE her, throw away everything you have because of something that doesn't even make the list? :wacko:

Edited by Gary and Alla

VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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I will just say this.

If our house were on fire I would run into it to save my wife's life...even if I burned to death. If a car was going to hit her, I would push her out of the way and take the hit myself. If a man broke into our house and threatened her, I would shoot him until he was dead. Get it?

Would you do those things? Would most people?

So I would DIE for my wife, I would KILL for my wife...understand?

So would I throw away my life with my wife if she had sex with someone else?

Get real! It's SEX.

Try another thing, ANY of you...

write down the 10 best things about your wife and your marriage. Go ahead.

Is "She will never have sex with anyone else until she dies" on that list?

Didn't think so. So you will DIVORCE her, throw away everything you have because of something that doesn't even make the list? :wacko:

I am curious what you would do if one day you return home from work and find your wife in bed with another man and your children sleeping next door?

I'm sure that is not on on your 10 best things list either.wacko.gif

Edited by GandK

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Kenya
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First off. I never in a million years thought I'd be posting a topic in this part of the forum.

But I guess bad things can happen to anyone. I need help figuring out what to do, and I need this forum to vent and get some advice.

I am an active member on this forum, and I apologize that I'm not posting under my regular username, but quite frankly, I'm too embarrassed and humiliated to. I've made many great friends on this forum, some I've even met in person. Most of you would recognize me if I posted under my regular username, and many of you will likely figure out who I am from the timelines of this post. But for right now, I want to remain anonymous, and I hope that you all will all respect that. You can PM me if you know who I am.

I apologize in advance if this post becomes repetitive or incoherent. I just need to vent..

Here's the gist of what has happened..

We met 4 years ago, began dating 3.5 years ago. We're 2 months short of our 2 year wedding anniversary. We got married in the US, but did not file for AOS. Instead, she came with me back to my country and stayed. After 10 months, we finally decided that overall, it would be best if we settled in the US. This decision was based on her not speaking the language, me speaking fluent English. Her knowing nothing about my country's lifestyle, while I had my entire education in the US. And quite frankly, she didn't like my country, I love this country. We met while I was on an F-1, and got married after I graduated. While we were still young, the decision to get married was taken in part due to her family being skeptical of us living together without being married, in part due to us both knowing that we wouldn't be able to live together, neither in my country nor the US unless we were married, and most of all, because we knew we wanted to spend our lives together. We filed the I-130 11 months after our wedding. (She was "living" in my country as a tourist) - And when we finally decided on a country to file in, she was on her 80th day of 90 allowed in my country. She went back to the US and filed the I-130 immediately. Since then, I visited her on the VWP a couple of times, and she visited me once.

10 months after initial filing, I finally arrived in the US on a CR-1 visa 6 weeks ago.

The distance killed us. It was tough. It was hard. Even though we were lucky enough to see each other for a few weeks with 3 month intervals, it was excruciating. Most members here know what I'm talking about. However, we made it work.

Anyway. I arrived here 6 weeks ago. Things were great. Aside from the normal issues like not knowing anyone here, and having to start from scratch with a job, things were great. I loved it here (still do to an extent). Until this week. I found something I shouldn't have..... :(

In a nut shell. She had an affair.

Sigh.. It makes me sick to my stomach to even talk about this. I already knew of an "incident" a few years ago where she admitted that she had previously kissed another guy, felt horrible and came clean to me. We fought about it, made up, and forgot about it. This time, it's way more serious. I confronted her about what I found. She got stumped, and she basically said "Does it really matter now?" and literally said "If I confirm this.. What are you going to do?" - I immediately yelled "You just did confirm it!" and broke down. Her first reaction was to apologize while I was crying. When I got mad, her reaction turned defensive arguing that it was only because of the distance, and it wouldn't have happened if I was here. She also tried to blame me for it, because I hadn't done enough sweet things for her during the time apart, and this guy did. Hello!!! You MARRIED ME!!! I must have done something right! This happened during the summer, before she came on a vacation with me and my family. I haven't probed too much into it, I can't for my own sanity's sake, and she keeps telling me "don't ask, it'll only make it worse" but I know enough to know that this wasn't a one time thing either. It was a fling. She has assured me that she doesn't speak to the guy anymore, and that he does not even live in this city. Apparently, this guy was a temporary "step-in" for me. But here's another shocker. The guy, as I came to find out, is married also.

She slept at a coworker's house last night. I've gotten about 6 hours worth of sleep in the last couple of nights combined. I made her breakfast this morning and went to her work to give it to her.. It was slightly awkward, we didn't really speak. I have no idea what to do really..

I love her. I love her to death. I'd take a bullet for this woman. I brought her into my family. I was warmly welcomed into hers. I can't even imagine what her mother would do if she found out. I don't want anyone to find out. This is just so humiliating, embarrassing and painful. I want to work things out, but I just don't trust her. I have no idea if this was a one time thing, or if it has happened before too during other times of separation. There is no reason for me to believe that it hasn't happened before, other than her word. Which I don't trust one bit. And that's my problem. I love her enough to forgive a mistake. I love her enough to forgive practically anything. But I also love her enough that I don't think I'll ever forget. And that scares me, because that is not a good recipe for a happy marriage.

This is an extremely difficult situation. I love her so much, and I meant what I said when I told her "I do." This is fairly fresh in my head, and not something I was mentally prepared for at all. I still have to pinch myself in the arm to remember that this is real. That it isn't a nightmare.

I have no money. While I at least have a job here (I started working part-time recently), it isn't a great income. All my financial resources have been spent on this process, moving, and on visits and vacations during the process. I even paid the deposit and rent on her old apartment which I never got to live in.. But that she apparently had a guy visit quite frequently.. I feel like barfing just at the mere thought of this. Seriously, I feel physically ill. I quit my job back home back in August, thinking the interview was at most a month away (turned out to be 3 months away and another month to receive the visa). I have nowhere to go. I don't know anyone in this state, other than my wife and our roommate. I can't face my parents. I can't even face my friends. I struggle to look at her even. In essence, I have nothing for me here, except a wife who.. Yea.. I have nothing to go back to in my country either, except my parents' house.

So far I've only told one member on here in private, and one of my good friends from college back on the west coast. He has offered me a place to at least sleep - But that's thousands of miles away, on the west coast.

I'm really not in a position to be thinking about immigration related matters right now. At this point I don't want to stay. At least not in this city/state. But I know that if I leave, it's over for good. And I'm not ready to make that decision at this time. I want to be firm. But I'm not thinking rationally now. I don't want to make huge mistakes while I'm in a state of shock. To top this off, I had a job interview last week for a very good job here in this city, full-time and with excellent compensation. They called me back yesterday and I had no idea what to really say to them. One of the things they pushed me on was longevity. "We want to make sure you're not going to quit anytime soon." – To which my response was "I'm not going anywhere." Luckily, I'm only hired on the condition of passing a background check – which I find out the result of in a week or so.. Gives me more time to think..

For now, my options are these:

1. Stay here, try to work things out. (Not sure if I can, though I want to)

2. Stay here, separate, see where time and distance takes me/us. (Not sure if I can stay here without her. This place is tainted to me)

3. Leave, crash at a friend's/aunt's/cousin's house in a different state and see where time and distance takes me/us.

4. Leave, go back home.

If I went home, got a divorce and abandoned my green card, how difficult would it be to come back to visit or for graduate school?

If I chose to stay and work things out, how difficult would it be to file a joint I-751 with a period of separation in the middle?

If I chose to stay in the country, and get a divorce, how difficult would it be to file an I-751 divorce waiver?

I'm shaking right now.. Can't believe I'm posting this.. :(

I can only but imagine what you are going through,my thoughts to you is give it time because time is a true healer, secondly you really need to talk with her in lengthy and come up with ways to rebuild your trust and please note that no one is perfect if she is truly sorry you can learn to put that behind you and be happy again it is very possible and about the job please think keenly before you waste that chance, is it really worthy it???? going back home should not even be an option since you have nothing waiting for you back there.....believe me when i say time is a healer

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
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I am curious what you would do if one day you return home from work and find your wife in bed with another man and your children sleeping next door?

I'm sure that is not on on your 10 best things list either.wacko.gif

I see the list is confusing you. Forget the list.

Would you sacrifice your life for your wife? Would you KILL someone else to protect her? Those are the ultimate sacrifices right?

"I will die to protect your life! I will divorce you and throw away our life if you touch another ####### ever in your life"

I get it.

If it were drugs, alcohol, gambling, crime involvement, things you NEED to protect yourself and the family from...I could see it. But for THAT, for those really dangerous things, people would seek counseling, treatment, legal advice, find ways to accept it, forgive it, WORK WITH IT.

For sex? NO WAY! :wacko:

VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Denmark
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But it's not about sex - cheating is way more than just sex and somehow you refuse to acknowledge it. People cheat on each other without having sex with another person and it hurts as bad as they would...

:thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs: :thumbs:

Cheating is the lying, the sneaking around, the broken trust, the lack of concern for your spouse's feelings, the choosing another person over them, etc.

The sex is just the mechanical thing that goes along with all of that. It is like the cherry on the sundae of lack of respect and trust.

That is the real difference between let's say having an "open" marriage and cheating.

3/2/18  E-filed N-400 under 5 year rule

3/26/18 Biometrics

7/2019-12/2019 (Yes, 16- 21 months) Estimated time to interview MSP office.

 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ukraine
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But it's not about sex - cheating is way more than just sex and somehow you refuse to acknowledge it. People cheat on each other without having sex with another person and it hurts as bad as they would...

Then don't cheat. Be honest. But it seems like this woman CANNOT be honest because WE (people in general) make it impossible to be honest about SEX!

Gambling, alcoholism, drug abuse, criminal activity, ALL involve WAY MORE! ALWAYS. Yet people ALWAYS try to work with it, help that person, cure it, fix it...and they will live with lies, cheating, theft, because it is "an addiction" and spend thousands on therapy, lose thousands in expenses for these evil things...all because they LOVE someone.

You would DIE for her, right? You would KILL for her, right? You would go through years of therapy for alcoholism, drug abuse, gambling...right?

But let her touch another ####### and OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIVORCE! IMMEDIATELY! THROW OUT THE FAMILY! Children? Who cares? Leave them fatherless! Yeah, that's what the world needs, more fatherless children! It was SEX. We MUST! It was SEX! SEX, you understand! SEX! OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's nonsense. Total, utter nonsense.

And by the way, I am not judging...people who say to "divorce her" are judging. I am saying..."You love her, you went through this USCIS mess for her, she moved across the world for you, you moved across the world for her...and you will throw her out because she had sex?"

That's just stupid.

VERMONT! I Reject Your Reality...and Substitute My Own!

Gary And Alla

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