Bringing my 16 year old fiancée

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Two things.

Check the marriage laws in the State you're living in for:

A) The age requirement for marriage, and also the conditions for parental consent for a minor entering marriage.

B) The laws on marrying a cousin in the State you live in, because not all States will allow cousins to marry.

The Syrian Embassy is closed last I heard and they are shipping all family based visa petitions to the Jordan Embassy, so she'll likely have to interview there. Hopefully she can make it to the interview given the civil war happening in Syria right now. I am unsure what they will do about the 2 year requirement to have met, but I think that you do have a a good shot at it because of the circumstances, and the history with her because it is family, and arranged marriages are common among cousins in this region. Sending you best wishes and please let us know how it goes for you all. We don't often get to see a male petitioner for a Syrian female beneficiary. From what I have seen with petitions similar to yours from this region you shouldn't have much of a problem beside the extenuating circumstances of the civil war going on.

[Krikit 1,163]

Additional posts removed and members thread-banned. Any further such posts will result in a suspension.

Edited November 18, 2012 by Krikit

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

one post removed and member thread banned along with additional admin action for failing to heed numerous moderation warnings to cease being judgmental.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Is it possible for you two to spend time together before getting married? Maybe multiple trips? Can you delay petitioning until she is 18? I think if you want to make the process go as smoothly as possible - it would be best to spend some time together if even in a family/group setting. Also, waiting until she is 18 will eliminate some headache and maybe problems with the COs and USCIS understanding cultural norms.

I don't see any harm in trying the CR-1 visa route before she's 18, but I really do think it will raise less red flags if you wait until then.

[Thatgirl2 21]

This is... Beyond sad. To the member who said why is his post full of me me mes, well because Syria is a troubled country. The public beliefe is that any girl or woman would be lucky to get out of there regardless of what she might think. It has always been like that but once a country gets involved in a war it hits an al time high. I suggest you go see her OP. Syria may not be safe but I'm sure you could fly to Iran where she could go without a problem what so ever or turkey, somewhere safe and meet up first. Let your families talk and hash it out and then talk to her one on one. And please realize, if things go on as you want them to, you will be marrying and bringing to the USA, a teenager . Considering you're only 22 yourself are you ready for hardships of her adjusting and you being responsible for her, both legally and financially ?

Edited November 19, 2012 by Thatgirl2

[Chopper1 3]

Thank you everyone for the input ans advice. I should have clarified some things in my original post. I have visited Syria many times before but not in the past two years. I know her well and she knows me well, people in Syria always tell us we make a good couple. I talk to her regularly on Facebook, she is very flirty and expecting me to propose. This is not an arranged marriage. My original plan was to wait until she was 18 and I was done medcial school before I propose. I have dated many girls in high school and I know they are emotionally fragile, that is why I never spoke to her about relationships or marriage, in case things don't work out, I don't want her to get hurt. As the situation in Syria keeps getting worst, I though Why wait, let me ask her ( I know she is waiting to hear it) and bring her here. She has been out of school for a year, living in an apartment with three other families, not the situation I want my sweetheart to be in. The most important thing to me is not to mention "marrige" to her If it's not possible to bring her, her emotions will be crushed.

I think I will continue to talk to her and see if the situation in Syria cools down a bit so that I can go see her. On the K1 form it stays they can give an exception to the 2 year visit thing, if the US citizen traveling to see her will cause him extrem hardship, and the US embassy is advising Americans to stay out of Syria bc of kidnapping dangers.

[Thatgirl2 21]

Thank you everyone for the input ans advice. I should have clarified some things in my original post. I have visited Syria many times before but not in the past two years. I know her well and she knows me well, people in Syria always tell us we make a good couple. I talk to her regularly on Facebook, she is very flirty and expecting me to propose. This is not an arranged marriage. My original plan was to wait until she was 18 and I was done medcial school before I propose. I have dated many girls in high school and I know they are emotionally fragile, that is why I never spoke to her about relationships or marriage, in case things don't work out, I don't want her to get hurt. As the situation in Syria keeps getting worst, I though Why wait, let me ask her ( I know she is waiting to hear it) and bring her here. She has been out of school for a year, living in an apartment with three other families, not the situation I want my sweetheart to be in. The most important thing to me is not to mention "marrige" to her If it's not possible to bring her, her emotions will be crushed.

I think I will continue to talk to her and see if the situation in Syria cools down a bit so that I can go see her. On the K1 form it stays they can give an exception to the 2 year visit thing, if the US citizen traveling to see her will cause him extrem hardship, and the US embassy is advising Americans to stay out of Syria bc of kidnapping dangers.

The situation in Syria is far from over, so don't feel responsible to be her guardian angel and save her from the war. As far as her being flirty goes, you need to realize, that's her choice. If she is banking on you proposing, that's her own agenda and doing. Do not get yourself in something you're going to regret. What your family and friends in Syria think wont matter because you will be living in the states. Even at 19 she is still a teenager. She could be very well rounded and ready for marriage, or she could be just trying to get a proposal out of you to just get out of Syria.i honestly don't know, and I know arranged marriages or even underage marriages are norm there, but you won't be living n Middle East. Get ready to explain to people why your wife is so young and why you got married so young and to get mistreated at the embassy and all that. It's not really the legal problems of it, it's that do you realize what you will be getting yourself into

Edited November 19, 2012 by Thatgirl2

[AmyWrites 593]

Thank you everyone for the input ans advice. I should have clarified some things in my original post. I have visited Syria many times before but not in the past two years. I know her well and she knows me well, people in Syria always tell us we make a good couple. I talk to her regularly on Facebook, she is very flirty and expecting me to propose. This is not an arranged marriage. My original plan was to wait until she was 18 and I was done medcial school before I propose. I have dated many girls in high school and I know they are emotionally fragile, that is why I never spoke to her about relationships or marriage, in case things don't work out, I don't want her to get hurt. As the situation in Syria keeps getting worst, I though Why wait, let me ask her ( I know she is waiting to hear it) and bring her here. She has been out of school for a year, living in an apartment with three other families, not the situation I want my sweetheart to be in. The most important thing to me is not to mention "marrige" to her If it's not possible to bring her, her emotions will be crushed.

I think I will continue to talk to her and see if the situation in Syria cools down a bit so that I can go see her. On the K1 form it stays they can give an exception to the 2 year visit thing, if the US citizen traveling to see her will cause him extrem hardship, and the US embassy is advising Americans to stay out of Syria bc of kidnapping dangers.

Why can't you meet each other in a third country instead?

[Chopper1 3]

The situation in Syria is far from over, so don't feel responsible to be her guardian angel and save her from the war. As far as her being flirty goes, you need to realize, that's her choice. If she is banking on you proposing, that's her own agenda and doing. Do not get yourself in something you're going to regret. What your family and friends inspiration think wont matter because you will be living in the states. Even at 19 she is still a teenager. She could be very well rounded and ready for marriage, or she could be just trying to get a proposal out of you to just get out of Syria.i honestly don't know, and I know arranged marriages or even underage marriages are norm there, but you won't be living n Middle East. Get ready to explain to people why your wife is so young and why you got married so young and to get mistreated at the embassy and all that. It's not really the legal problems of it, it's that do you realize what you will be getting yourself into

The girl is genuine for me, I know her from the day she was born lol. She is definitly not trying to get out of syria, she wouldnt bail that easiely on her father and sister. As for me, i can finacially support her (we are wealthy) and I honestly don't care what people have to say, who said i am ashamed to say how old we are or that we are married. I think its shameful that girls are 16 and have babies out of weddlock, i think its shameful to sleep with a 16 year old then bump them we you are bored of them. As an american, I dont think American traditions are to be proud of. Our society is disgusting and I won't stand to be judged by it.

[Chopper1 3]

Why can't you meet each other in a third country instead?

As of now all roads leading out of the city are closed. Hopefully in December when I'm out of school things would have gotten a bit better and she can go to turkey or Lebanon or Jordan.

[Thatgirl2 21]

The girl is genuine for me, I know her from the day she was born lol. She is definitly not trying to get out of syria, she wouldnt bail that easiely on her father and sister. As for me, i can finacially support her (we are wealthy) and I honestly don't care what people have to say, who said i am ashamed to say how old we are or that we are married. I think its shameful that girls are 16 and have babies out of weddlock, i think its shameful to sleep with a 16 year old then bump them we you are bored of them. As an american, I dont think American traditions are to be proud of. Our society is disgusting and I won't stand to be judged by it.

Well you LIVE in America, you will be bringing your 16 year old WIFE TO AMERICA. you will be judged by the rules and regulations of America. If you are wealthy. I suggest you take a year off school, or like you said. Wait till December till you're out of school, go to a third country, wherever you like, get married and live together for a couple of months, maybe a year. Gather evidence of marriage and living under the same roof and get to know her as a wife. Women are more complicated than you think. How a woman is as a sister, daughter or girlfriend doesn't defy what she will be like as a wife. I don't agree with your views at all. Nc I actually think if American culture bothers you so much, you should move to an Islamic country, but since this not about me or my views, my thoughts to you is what I stated.

[Chopper1 3]

Well you LIVE in America, you will be bringing your 16 year old WIFE TO AMERICA. you will be judged by the rules and regulations of America. If you are wealthy. I suggest you take a year off school, or like you said. Wait till December till you're out of school, go to a third country, wherever you like, get married and live together for a couple of months, maybe a year. Gather evidence of marriage and living under the same roof and get to know her as a wife. Women are more complicated than you think. How a woman is as a sister, daughter or girlfriend doesn't defy what she will be like as a wife. I don't agree with your views at all. Nc I actually think if American culture bothers you so much, you should move to an Islamic country, but since this not about me or my views, my thoughts to you is what I stated.

Your making the assumption that I'm Muslim, I'm not. I just believe that a wife is more dignified, she has rights a gf doesn't. I love living in the US because it gives us freedom of expression and life style. Most states allow 16 year olds to me married if parental consent, so it's not unheard of.

It's a shame that I come to this site looking for legal and procedural advice, and most of what I get is personal reflections ans judgements.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thank you everyone for the input ans advice. I should have clarified some things in my original post. I have visited Syria many times before but not in the past two years. I know her well and she knows me well, people in Syria always tell us we make a good couple. I talk to her regularly on Facebook, she is very flirty and expecting me to propose. This is not an arranged marriage. My original plan was to wait until she was 18 and I was done medcial school before I propose. I have dated many girls in high school and I know they are emotionally fragile, that is why I never spoke to her about relationships or marriage, in case things don't work out, I don't want her to get hurt. As the situation in Syria keeps getting worst, I though Why wait, let me ask her ( I know she is waiting to hear it) and bring her here. She has been out of school for a year, living in an apartment with three other families, not the situation I want my sweetheart to be in. The most important thing to me is not to mention "marrige" to her If it's not possible to bring her, her emotions will be crushed.

I think I will continue to talk to her and see if the situation in Syria cools down a bit so that I can go see her. On the K1 form it stays they can give an exception to the 2 year visit thing, if the US citizen traveling to see her will cause him extrem hardship, and the US embassy is advising Americans to stay out of Syria bc of kidnapping dangers.

People have tried getting the hardship waiver for fiancee's in Iraq and Afghanistan and failed. The type of hardship they usually approve is when it's physically impossible for the petitioner and beneficiary to travel to a common country to meet. For example, the petitioner is in the hospital hooked up to a respirator, and the beneficiary has tried and failed to get a B2 visitors visa. In that case, the petitioner can't leave the US and the beneficiary can't enter the US, so a waiver is approved.

Then again, there have been cases here on VJ where I thought there was no way they'd approve the waiver, and they did. You could give it a try. If it's denied then you'll lose the filing fee and about half a year of your time. On the other hand, if you can arrange a safe place for both of you to meet (maybe in Turkey) then there won't be any risk.

You've heard this before, but once again - for a fiancee visa she must be of legal marriageable age in the state where you plan to marry, which presumably is the state where you live. In most states the marriageable age is 18. Also, most states will permit someone to marry at a younger age (16 is typical) with parent and/or judicial consent. This situation is covered in the I-129F instructions:

If either of you is of an age that requires special consent or permission for you to marry in the jurisdiction where your marriage will occur, give proof of that consent or permission;

How that consent is provided varies from one state to the other. The USCIS adjudicator is probably going to presume you intend to marry in the state where you reside, so they may ask you to provide the same proof of consent your state would require you to provide. Some states require that the parents or guardians who are giving consent appear personally to sign a sworn consent form. Obviously, it would be pretty difficult for her parents to appear personally in front of a county clerk in your state if her parents are in Syria. Check your state laws. You must provide proof of consent with your petition or your petition will be denied.

[Chopper1 3]

People have tried getting the hardship waiver for fiancee's in Iraq and Afghanistan and failed. The type of hardship they usually approve is when it's physically impossible for the petitioner and beneficiary to travel to a common country to meet. For example, the petitioner is in the hospital hooked up to a respirator, and the beneficiary has tried and failed to get a B2 visitors visa. In that case, the petitioner can't leave the US and the beneficiary can't enter the US, so a waiver is approved.

Then again, there have been cases here on VJ where I thought there was no way they'd approve the waiver, and they did. You could give it a try. If it's denied then you'll lose the filing fee and about half a year of your time. On the other hand, if you can arrange a safe place for both of you to meet (maybe in Turkey) then there won't be any risk.

You've heard this before, but once again - for a fiancee visa she must be of legal marriageable age in the state where you plan to marry, which presumably is the state where you live. In most states the marriageable age is 18. Also, most states will permit someone to marry at a younger age (16 is typical) with parent and/or judicial consent. This situation is covered in the I-129F instructions:

If either of you is of an age that requires special consent or permission for you to marry in the jurisdiction where your marriage will occur, give proof of that consent or permission;

How that consent is provided varies from one state to the other. The USCIS adjudicator is probably going to presume you intend to marry in the state where you reside, so they may ask you to provide the same proof of consent your state would require you to provide. Some states require that the parents or guardians who are giving consent appear personally to sign a sworn consent form. Obviously, it would be pretty difficult for her parents to appear personally in front of a county clerk in your state if her parents are in Syria. Check your state laws. You must provide proof of consent with your petition or your petition will be denied.

Thank you. That's a reply that answers some of my question.

[apple21 953]

Do you love her? Does she love you?