Thanks everyone...

[MichelleandCraig 1]

thanks everyone. I don't know what to say anymore...he just went to bed after we fought for a half hour again.We're both just tired of it..>i doubt I'll be on much while he's gone, but thanks again for your thoughts. I need to regroup as much as he does.M.

[DouglasSheridan 1]

Sorry to hear you had some strains these past few days, I hope the last ones can however be enjyed and you guys leave eachother on a good note before his trip. Will keep you in my prayers, you guys have been through so much already and you gotta keep going. Yes we all have our faults and one of them sometimes being to hold on to past arguments and meaniness said at the time. I hope for the both of you that you both step back into this relationship in a months time re-invogorated and having let go of the past.

Heres to you two!

All my best wishes and lots of love and hugs!

Sheridan

Edited March 6, 2006 by DouglasSheridan

[MaryandMian 1]

I really do not have any advice or words now. I just hope that you two can enjoy some uneventful time before your separation and that once you are together again that everyone is refreshed and ready to make a new start. Take care and been thinking of all of you. Hugs

Mary

[ChristinaM 0]

Sometimes love is just not enough, and no matter how much you love each other you're never going to work as a couple. There's no shame in reaching that point, and it's better than carrying on a relationship with nothing but fights and tears.

I really, sincerely hope that you and Craig can work through this, but whatever happens you know (and we know too) that you gave it your all, Michelle. There is nothing more to give than your all.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Well, I'm so up and down I don't know what's happening. This week, things have been even harder with Craig's feelings about leaving being mixed(knowing he wants to go home and visit, and then the last day or so wishing he could put it off a few weeks) then me being sad (to say the least) at him going with things having been like they have...but then tonight we had a small arguement earlier, then we got over it and watched a movie...I couldn't help crying just seeing his stuff sitting by the door all ready to leave in the morning...and when he went up to bed I went up with him for a few minutes and ended up having a nice hysterical(sobbing-wise)bawlfest, and talking to him for a while. He said he had even thought about changing his ticket to after our anniversary,etc and I told him I didn't want him to change it for me..because i was upset..because I would be sad to see him leave anytime..but he said he was sad to go and would miss me too...so that made me feel really good. We even tried at midnight..we called Expedia..but we got a really good fare...too bad..it doesn't allow ANY changes, even with penalty...and we can't afford to lose the whole ticket price..so I guess he goes now. I think it will help us in the long run, but I'm so sad to see him go...the one upside..it makes me feel really good to see the side of him again that shows he cares..and lets me know he does. I have PLENTTYYYY of faults, but that's the one thing I've really been missing..him being so upset with things that I never really know how he's feeling about US. I feel the tinyest bit better knowing he's going...knowing that he feels that way about me enough to even change the ticket. I'm glad he's going.for him and his family...but I'm going to miss him so SO much...thanks again everyone. M.

edited to say...I didn't ASK him to change the ticket, or even infer it..that's why it made me feel so good..he was having second thoughts about missing our anniversary, and missing ME while he was gone. little things really mean a LOT. We had a nice talk and cuddle even if my eyes are red and swollen now!! and I know it wont' be nice at 6am when he walks out the door either(a mere 5 hrs from now)but it makes me feel great to know that he still cares the way he did in the beginning..sometimes, when you're going through all of this..it's hard to tell. M.

Edited March 7, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[broma25 2]

Awww Michelle

I have been right there in those shoes of yours, I can really feel your pain right now. After a couple of days you will start to be somewhat normal and go about your day as you usually do.

The month will pass by quickly, and I assume you will be talking to him when he is gone. This will help.

Good Luck!

[LenJayUS 0]

Please don't think I'm insensitive to what your going through... I'm not.

But why were you on the computer at 2 am in the morning and he was leaving in 5 hours? You know your going to miss him, why you are not with him (rather.. why weren't you now)... even if it's just laying in bed together?

And was it not able to be worked out for you to go over with him? Granted, some time apart is probably definately needed... in my OPINION, some thinking during the time apart really needs to be done on both of your parts... his attachment to an Ex-STEP-son, and how when you two argue (which everyone will at some point) how you seem to yell... I know if it was me, and I wasn't a screamer... and soemone started doing that to me... it would make what ever the arguement was about 100 times worse. And I was married once, and had a step-daughter that I was close with... probably not as close as he is with his EX-step son. I learned early on, despite loving her like my own daughter, that in the end it was going to be possible to continue on like she was my daughter. We still talk.. email and on the phone.. and once in awhile she's even allowed to come and stay with her brother and sister (I got custody of our two kids)... but it's not often because of the distance. I knew I had to move on past that, and it was ruff at first, but I managed.. and if Craig realizes that he needs to move on for the good of his new family, then I'm sure he can as well IF he puts his mind to it.

I'm not a love doctor or a relationship expert... all anyone can do is really wish you luck and hope you two work things out. Use the time away to clear you head and think about what things you might of done wrong since he's been there, or things you could of done better, or totally differently. Think of the good things as well, and use them as a guide... And hopefully he'll do the same.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Len, we BOTH realize we have to do a lot of thinking about previous actions while we are apart..and I don't think he needs tolose his relationship with Daryl..he's the only father Daryl has ever known..unless its absolutely forced I don't think any father should just leave their child without a thought, and he has already moved very far away. I sympathise with that situation as far as both of them are concerned...I just dont know what to do...

As far as this morning, we spent the whole evening together, and when Craig did finally go up after midnight, I went up with him and we had a long and very emotional talk. I couldn't sleep, and Craig can't get to sleep unless I'm not moving around a lot etc(ie...being asleep before him helps)and he already onlyhad four hours or less to sleep when I came down because I wanted him to get some rest. He just left and he has to drive five hours to the bus where one of my brothers will let him park the car(near the bus stop at his home) and then bring him to the bus...it's a 1 1/2 hr ride to O' Hare from there where the bus will drop him right at the terminal...so...he has a really long day ahead..the flight after all of that. Same thing I did when I went to visit him...wanted to bring him but Corey is here in school, I'm having really bad back problems, and it would have just been the inevitable goodbye at the bus stop anyway, five hours later, and then I had to drive five hours back feeling miserable. Since we've recently aquired a 2nd vehicle, he's just driving himself. Hope that answers some of your questions...

I miss him so much already and he just left 5 minutes ago....it's hard to see all the difficulties(although we will both be thinking about what we need to change during this time...we've talked about all that)when you're feeling this way...I just want him here, and he just wants to be here.We really tried to change the flight for a few weeks from now, but to no avail. I'll see you all in a few days...thanks as ever for the thoughts..M.

[pax 0]

I hope the time passes quickly and that the month helps you arrive at a mutually loving decision, Michelle.

*hug*

[rebeccajo 14]

*sigh*

Time will tell, Michelle......

time will tell.

[Peggy 1]

Hopefully this will be a new start for you two. I hope he has a safe flight back home and has a wonderful time. I am sure when he is there, he will have lots of time to talk to his parents and friends about how he is feeling since being here. I think he just needs to be surrounded by people that are close to him that are not going to judge him. Its really hard to let go of your feelings when your talking to your family on the phone. He will be better when he can sit there and get advice from his family on what HE needs to do to make this work. You can do the same thing now that he is gone. Since you are so close to your parents , maybe sit down with your mom and just let it all out. Have a good cry with your mom or one of your close girl friends. Moms are great to lean on. I agree with Jaylen about the screaming, that has to stop. Whether you are doing it or he is doing it . When someone is being screamed at and put down it changes who you are. Its not a nice feeling and I am sure you know this from your first relationship you were in. You said it wasnt a good one. People have to make choices. Sometimes they make the wrong choices and after time its too late to try and fix, cause the damage has been done. My ex used to pick at my brain all the time, and I tell you its not a good feeling. As time goes by you just hate them for being so mean. Then the sorry's dont matter any more. Your heart just gets put down so much that you dont have those feelings for them anymore. I hope you try and get some rest when he is gone. Try doing something nice for yourself when Craig is gone. Get back into your poetry writing. You say that you miss him already and I am sure Craig misses you too. But I am sure neither of you are going to miss the fighting all the time when he's gone. I really hope things get better, like Rebecca said only time will tell................HUGS

[mawilson 2,133]

*sigh*

Time will tell, Michelle......

time will tell.

And one year later, time has told...

[almaty 19]

my best to you sister michelle..you know me for a long time..pm me if you need too....peace to you and craig..your friend and brother dean

[JenT 0]

my best to you sister michelle..you know me for a long time..pm me if you need too....peace to you and craig..your friend and brother dean

It's a year-old post, brother Dean. Mawilson... did you have this on your calendar????

[mawilson 2,133]

It's a year-old post, brother Dean. Mawilson... did you have this on your calendar????