What to do?

[BRB 6]

UPDATE... After having talked to her at great length, I wasn't getting the answers I needed. She has been kicked out of the house and is staying with her cousin. Next thing is to contact lawyers. I don't see a future for us.

I feel for you and I know it is going to be really hard for you. Be strong. Make it quick and clean and get on with you life. She will regret the life she lost due to her stupidity. Like other posters have said there are plenty of fish in the sea. As far as I'm concerned you made the right decision. This is black and white and no one is going to blame you.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

Remove her from any bank/credit card accounts immediately and file for divorce. Do not tell her of your plans. You don't want her to be prepared for this. If she's smart, she could come with some kind of bogus domestic violence case against you.

[Loolie 56]

relationship is not about jumping to another to one another. that's not real love. if i could make decision for OP...i will consider seeking marriage counseling. before jumping to an ending i rather do something/everything just to save the marriage. then if things didn't worked out still..then i guess it was never meant to happen.

If his wife said i love you to her ex then its so clear that she just didnt care of what her husband would feel. If you dont care then it only means you dont really love the person. I dont think that can be resolve by marriage conselling. And i dont think his wife was just being young and stupid. I think there is no true love at all period.

[MangoAve 25]

The reason why many posters on here are able to tell him to get out of the relationship is that love makes people blind or oblivious. People will try to justify in their mind, that something wrong that the spouse/bf/gf did is actually ok. He needed opinions of people who aren't in his position, who aren't clouded by love. Truth is that there may be some grey area. Yes, everyone flirts to some extent. But there is a point at which it's crossing a line. You may make a joke with a co-worker about getting into their pants, but you won't actually make plans to go and have sex with them. You may tell someone they are beautiful, but you won't tell them you want to be with them. If someone is willing to cheat physically, they obviously aren't ready for a full relationship. It's really hard to trust them afterward, and pretty sure it will happen again. The saying "you can take a girl out of the bar, but not the bar out of the girl." The OP obviously made his choice. It was his to make so let him enjoy it. Like I said, Greg, there are pleny. You obvi have been there so you know what I'm talking about.

[RobNKharen 70]

OP, have you completed AOS yet? If you filed it but it hasn't been granted yet, you should your withdraw your I-864 ASAP

[duriantaste 44]

If the OP, in this case, couldn't get past whatever happened and would never be able to have a healthy relationship with her again.........even if her answers proved she wasn't really doing anything wrong......then marriage counseling is moot. If he would always be living in doubt that is no way to live, so it is best to end it and move on.

In my original post I said he should sit her down and get real answers. Apparently he tried and didn't get any answers, which was an answer unto itself. I think he would always be doubting her from now on, so parting is by far the best option..............and that is coming from a guy that believes in trying ever possible avenue until the problem is solved. If you can't ever forgive it in your heart you have to face it and move on.

I just don't understand why he needed to talk to her. If i were him, I would just let it go..one day while joking both in very terrific mood, maybe they should joke about it. Just a thought.

[sunandmoon 450]

I just don't understand why he needed to talk to her. If i were him, I would just let it go..one day while joking both in very terrific mood, maybe they should joke about it. Just a thought.

well junior, I guess it's just another one of those things you'll never understand...

[DavenRoxy 1,073]

I just don't understand why he needed to talk to her. If i were him, I would just let it go..one day while joking both in very terrific mood, maybe they should joke about it. Just a thought.

Is that what YOU would do if I told you YOUR wife was telling ME that she loves me in emails and chats?

[sparkygirl 6]

cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter if there was no physical contact or the other party is thousands of miles away or at the other side of the world, professing love to someone who is not your spouse is cheating.

It is non sense to say that the wife is still adjusting to her new life in the states, and should be allowed to flirt around with someone over the internet, that's crazy. when you are married you give your whole life, mind included to your spouse and your kids if any.

[TiklingGuy 211]

I just don't understand why he needed to talk to her. If i were him, I would just let it go..one day while joking both in very terrific mood, maybe they should joke about it. Just a thought.

You are making me go with your posts. I am going to need a to get back on track.

[sunandmoon 450]

Is that what YOU would do if I told you YOUR wife was telling ME that she loves me in emails and chats?

hypothetically speaking, anything could be possible in juniors world...

[A and T 82]

Well since she loves him so much grant her a wish by sending her back and divorcing/canceling her greencard etc. Report fraud to USCIS

[Tahoma 2,291]

Greg...You did the right thing for the right reason.

Cheating is wrong. Hiding the cheating confirms it's cheating. Lying about it further confirms it's cheating. There can't be love without trust and honesty. She is neither trustworthy nor honest. Life is too short to put up with her #######.

File for divorce. Pull your I-864 if you still can. Also, email the USCIS and tell them what happened. Change the locks. Protect your bank account, credit cards, and assets. Never be alone with her under any circumstances, because she might claim abuse. She could ruin your life with false charges.

Be strong, brother. Suck it up and move on. The sooner you start, the sooner she'll be a distant memory.

[GaryKO 49]

Just to many missing details,

1. The OP finds a email on his wife Ipad she sent to a man. The OP don't know who this man is but thinks he is a old boyfriend. The OP found a picture of a man and her and she typed the words I love you, not clear if these words was in the email or a caption on the picture.

2. He confronted her about this email and she says that the man is a old friend, he did not believe her.

3. He talked to her at length about this and did not get the answers he needed to hear, so he kicked her out.

Based on these facts people have called this woman, a cheater, a scammer, and a liar.

Greg, I wish you would come and let us know what other things if any you found out that led to you kicking your wife out. Did you find that she does have a boyfriend and planning to be with him? I would like to know more if your willing to share that. Because the information you have provided up to now makes you look a little paranoid.

[duriantaste 44]

What *if*. his wife and her x had a good relation while they were dating. What is wrong if she still have a bit of that feeling and when they talk she tells him that she loves him not that she wants to be with him. Two different things.

The op was supposed to drop it for now and if she keeps talking to him on a daily basis, maybe then, they could try to fix things or ask her to decide which way she wanted to go?

I vote for a reconciliation and pronto please.

Life is full of surprise who knows!