Internet Love or not to Love?

[actob99 156]

My fiancee would rather have me return to Cebu or anywhere and live with her as modest as we did before. She was happy with that as I was. My fiancee has her own room she rents, she has food, clean bathing and entertainment as in computer.. All she is lacking is me there with her.

She could care lees about coming to the USA. Actually I had to give her a geography lesson ealrier this week on Florida and how far we are from my family up north etc. She really is only concerned about being with me.

I get much the same.. we have had really deep conversations about us living in her province without me working in the US. She just wants to be with me.. Not bragging but to make a point, the longest I have been out of the Phils in the last 4 years is 2 1/2 months a few months back because of an infection on my foot. Typically its every month I'm back or like this time, I was here 2 weeks ago also. That is still not enough for her.. And were not staying in fancy hotels and living like Kings.. No electricity, fish and rice, Tagay beer with ice only sometimes, ect.. Sounds like love to me.

I know their are many on here that have spent time in the Phils and I know you have seen and heard the same. Look at how the filipino's view love and who they marry. A very small majority will fall in love and get married based on looks. Stability, honesty and loyalty are the top of the list for the majority. A couple guys I worked with beofre enlightened me on how typically it works here. This is coming from guys who make very good money for the Phils. They married someone who they could trust, raise a family with, never have to worry about Pedro popping in while abroad for work and stability.. Their wifes were just a bit older, say same age... They say this is the beliefs of alot of the relationships in the Phils, less educated and more poor and it gets right down to can the guy work hard and provide to put food on the table.. Not to bring negativity into this, but for some, then when a guy has a lust or a need for a younger pretty girl, he just does it on the side. Never with intentions of leaving his wife or what he has at home..

Like I said before, we all know when were in love and have a good prediction if its going to last... It doesn't matter where we meet and the circumstances. My friend who brought me to the Phils for the fist time told me: Most of the stories he hears or have heard about the foreigner/Pinay marriage can get wild sometimes. Everyone has a crazy story....

[actob99 156]

Most women on match.com put $50,001 to $75,000 and $75,001 to $100,000 for their desired income ranges, which is basically the same as or one level higher than their own. Some even put $100,001 to $150,001 if they're in that range as well. I don't see anything wrong with that. Now, it's a different story if you're talking about those who put $150,001+ as the only range given, which is rare. I have a feeling you might've been overestimating your relative value if you were viewing mostly women with "high" income requirements.

I thought the majority of America is heading into the lower income range as the Middle class is dissapearing... When you say, "most women on match.com put 50k or higher", indicates to me that they are all looking for money.. What is wrong with 25,001 to 49,999??

You ever go on filipinaheart or dateinasia? The majority on there put ANY for income requirements!!!!!!!!

[Ilovemypinoy 9]

I am a successful kana professional and I dated on match for a while. At first I put no income requirements but then I realized that a lot of the men I was meeting lived at home with their parents and had no career aspirations. Oh no! I found I had more in common with those closer to my income level... Common interests include travel, dining choices, interest in political and current world news, education, etc. These topics didnt matter by themselves but it created better conversation which led to better dates. To be clear, their income still was not equal to mine but less of a gap... Then I met my fiancé while on business in the Philippines. He is a professional and we met working together. Similar education, he's somewhat traveled, and I find he knows more about politics than I do. He is extremely driven and hard working but makes very little as a professional. We are both attractive and close in age. Last time I visited, He reminded me that I don't need to stay at expensive places in the Philippines to have a good visit... I found that statement to be very accurate. He is happy with very few material possessions and would rather live in the Philippines. We love each other very much but I prefer to keep my home in the states and for him to be with me here. His income didn't matter and I have never dated a man that makes as much as I do. As long as there is chemistry and a solid foundation that we can build on, that is all I need. Also want to add that I know many professional American women who married men that make less than they do... It's not all about money for us American women so please don't generalize.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

I've been on this site long enough to see this pattern - that many Kanos prop up their relationships as a fairy tale romances (she loves me for me) only to see a handful of them from time to time, come back here to tell us how their Filipina bride scammed them for a green card.

1) My wife and I lurked VJ 2008. We joined 2009. We reflected on your statement. We can't remember more than 2 VJ Kanos claiming GC scam. Jonny and Jason. Can you help us recall more than that?

2) IOO, Most of the "troubled marriage" stories posted (by Fil-Ams) are just that..a troubled marriage and nothing more. Recalling some of these TM posters...we think the numbers are pretty close but Pinays edge ahead of Kanos (for # of threads). Usually the Pinay begins a thread claiming mistreatment and asking for marriage advice. The Kano seems to be looking for a cheap 1 way ticket if she doesn't submit.

3) Perhaps a poll would reveal accurate statistics but...our vote for highest percentage GC scam (reported on VJ) by region / country....Rubbers followed by... Moroccans...(the rest in no particular order but ahead of PI)..Africans, Egyptians, Vietnam , Thailand.

I would imagine that most of them take offense to the accusation that when one of these marriages falls apart, it is because she was just after the green card.

Steve...I'm a little surprised by your behavior. I never thought you to be a bigot. (but) Considering your baseless POV driving proactive and defaming accusations..frankly...I'm changing my POV about you. Please tell me your stance is due to ignorant assumption and not bigotry.

Edited June 23, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[southcalhog 43]

My wife is 14 years younger than me. She had her dream job and was the principal of a school in Metro Manila. Her students scored the highest of all schools within her district too. She had financial security, and a promising future. She left it all to be with me. We live in relative poverty. Life is hard for us financially. We have had our rough times. We also have a 2 year old between us. We also met online, but not at a dating site. She had all to lose and nothing to gain in coming here. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my family. But then we both believe that is exactly who brought us together and holds us together.

Amen to that Brother

[DaRoq 36]

I thought the majority of America is heading into the lower income range as the Middle class is dissapearing... When you say, "most women on match.com put 50k or higher", indicates to me that they are all looking for money.. What is wrong with 25,001 to 49,999??

You ever go on filipinaheart or dateinasia? The majority on there put ANY for income requirements!!!!!!!!

I don't know if "the majority of America is heading into the lower income range", but my observation is that women put a range the same as their own or slightly higher. One reason for doing so is because men can be sensitive about earning less than their significant other. There's really nothing inherently wrong with earning under 50k, but given that many who are seriousy looking for a mate online are older, it's not unreasonable to think/hope that there will be men with that earning potential. Or maybe I'm just seeing those ranges because that's what I'm looking for as well. Even my "Honey Pinas" has to have the potential to earn because I want to enhance my life, not make it harder.

I've never been to filipinaheart or dateinasia because I'm not necessarily looking for a "Filipina" in the context of how many men here see them. But to answer your question, women know that men who go on those sites fall into a certain category, therefore put "ANY" in order to increase their chances of "hooking" them. All putting "ANY" for income requirements tells me is that the "lucky" man is nothing more than a conduit to America; a means to an end. That doesn't mean that the woman won't be able to love you; it just means she will have to "learn" to love you. Loosely translated, that means she will eventually "love" you if her life becomes settled to her satisfaction. Not such a bad thing, but it's not the "true love" so many tout.

Why don't you try meeting a Filipina on one of those sites and tell her up front that you have no money, will never be able to send any, and that you plan to give up your job and any money or assets you have to go live with her in the province in the same house she grew up in. Let's see what happens.

[TiklingGuy 211]

Why don't you try meeting a Filipina on one of those sites and tell her up front that you have no money, will never be able to send any, and that you plan to give up your job and any money or assets you have to go live with her in the province in the same house she grew up in. Let's see what happens.

My wife tried to convince me to do that before she came here.

[DaRoq 36]

My wife tried to convince me to do that before she came here.

[LSnBigBear 61]

I get much the same.. we have had really deep conversations about us living in her province without me working in the US. She just wants to be with me.. Not bragging but to make a point, the longest I have been out of the Phils in the last 4 years is 2 1/2 months a few months back because of an infection on my foot. Typically its every month I'm back or like this time, I was here 2 weeks ago also. That is still not enough for her.. And were not staying in fancy hotels and living like Kings.. No electricity, fish and rice, Tagay beer with ice only sometimes, ect.. Sounds like love to me.

I know their are many on here that have spent time in the Phils and I know you have seen and heard the same. Look at how the filipino's view love and who they marry. A very small majority will fall in love and get married based on looks. Stability, honesty and loyalty are the top of the list for the majority. A couple guys I worked with beofre enlightened me on how typically it works here. This is coming from guys who make very good money for the Phils. They married someone who they could trust, raise a family with, never have to worry about Pedro popping in while abroad for work and stability.. Their wifes were just a bit older, say same age... They say this is the beliefs of alot of the relationships in the Phils, less educated and more poor and it gets right down to can the guy work hard and provide to put food on the table.. Not to bring negativity into this, but for some, then when a guy has a lust or a need for a younger pretty girl, he just does it on the side. Never with intentions of leaving his wife or what he has at home..

Like I said before, we all know when were in love and have a good prediction if its going to last... It doesn't matter where we meet and the circumstances. My friend who brought me to the Phils for the fist time told me: Most of the stories he hears or have heard about the foreigner/Pinay marriage can get wild sometimes. Everyone has a crazy story....

Well written and you're correct on every word from my experience. I have many stories.... Too many . The only good part of my stories is my fiancee just shakes her head when we talk about it. She is the first woman that did not get insanely jealous of my past.

When someone can say they have------ Paid for braces, more dental, funerals, hospital bills, Pigs, private schools, purses, rings, clothes, watches, computers, phones, a ligation (yes because she went back with her ex and got pregnant while I was away without me knowing) and even a d*mn rooster...lol. Then you can say you have lived in RP a long time. lol... And not all of this was with the same woman

Can someone wipe the stupid off my forehead... Now i have a wonderful woman that asks for nothing but my love and committment... Last time I checked that does not cost money......

Edited June 23, 2012 by LSnBigBear

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

1) My wife and I lurked VJ 2008. We joined 2009. We reflected on your statement. We can't remember more than 2 VJ Kanos claiming GC scam. Jonny and Jason. Can you help us recall more than that?

2) IOO, Most of the "troubled marriage" stories posted (by Fil-Ams) are just that..a troubled marriage and nothing more. Recalling some of these TM posters...we think the numbers are pretty close but Pinays edge ahead of Kanos (for # of threads). Usually the Pinay begins a thread claiming mistreatment and asking for marriage advice. The Kano seems to be looking for a cheap 1 way ticket if she doesn't submit.

3) Perhaps a poll would reveal accurate statistics but...our vote for highest percentage GC scam (reported on VJ) by region / country....Rubbers followed by... Moroccans...(the rest in no particular order but ahead of PI)..Africans, Egyptians, Vietnam , Thailand.

Steve...I'm a little surprised by your behavior. I never thought you to be a bigot. (but) Considering your baseless POV driving proactive and defaming accusations..frankly...I'm changing my POV about you. Please tell me your stance is due to ignorant assumption and not bigotry.

I hate to look Ignorant .. What are rubbers ??

[B_J 2,752]

I hate to look Ignorant .. What are rubbers ??

RUB = Russia, Ukraine, Belarus. It's one of the regional forums here and they commonly refer to themselves as RUBbers.

[The Nature Boy 4,224]

RUB = Russia, Ukraine, Belarus. It's one of the regional forums here and they commonly refer to themselves as RUBbers.

Ahh thanks... I mean I know what they are but not in that context

[kev_n_jena 89]

I don't know if "the majority of America is heading into the lower income range", but my observation is that women put a range the same as their own or slightly higher. One reason for doing so is because men can be sensitive about earning less than their significant other. There's really nothing inherently wrong with earning under 50k, but given that many who are seriousy looking for a mate online are older, it's not unreasonable to think/hope that there will be men with that earning potential. Or maybe I'm just seeing those ranges because that's what I'm looking for as well. Even my "Honey Pinas" has to have the potential to earn because I want to enhance my life, not make it harder.

I've never been to filipinaheart or dateinasia because I'm not necessarily looking for a "Filipina" in the context of how many men here see them. But to answer your question, women know that men who go on those sites fall into a certain category, therefore put "ANY" in order to increase their chances of "hooking" them. All putting "ANY" for income requirements tells me is that the "lucky" man is nothing more than a conduit to America; a means to an end. That doesn't mean that the woman won't be able to love you; it just means she will have to "learn" to love you. Loosely translated, that means she will eventually "love" you if her life becomes settled to her satisfaction. Not such a bad thing, but it's not the "true love" so many tout.

Why don't you try meeting a Filipina on one of those sites and tell her up front that you have no money, will never be able to send any, and that you plan to give up your job and any money or assets you have to go live with her in the province in the same house she grew up in. Let's see what happens.

My wife has related thoughts she had as a child many times. She remembers looking at jets in the sky and thinking she would marry a foreigner and be flying on a jet someday. She tells of how she and her girlfriends would talk about who they would marry. This is when they were in elementary and high school. One of her friends wanted to marry a Japanese man while another wanted to marry a Chinese man. She says it was funny because they thought that all white men were Kano and that's what she wanted to marry. A Kano with blue eyes.

She tells me to this day, and her story has never changed, she fell in love with me the first time she saw my picture in 2005. I can honestly say, I fell in love with her the first time we chatted on cam. Before we saw each other on cam, I tried my best to dissuade her knowing how young she was.

I know it's hard to believe and I don't blame you if you don't believe our story. Obviously this isn't always the case for internet relationships, but it does happen, even if there is a significant age difference.

[JoBri 545]

My wife had a great government job, far better off economically there than she ever could be here, so she wasn't seeking work abroad. The opposite was true. It was very hard for her to give up her position as the youngest principal in her district and aspirations of becoming Superintendent. She was living her dream that she had since college. As far as "economic future" there, the only need was a continuous flow of children through the school system. Again, it was very hard to leave it behind. She begged me to go to the Philippines to live instead. I would not because my parents are quite old and I did not want to leave them at their age. Within 6 months of coming here she even returned to the Philippines to continue her career, but in the end only officially resigned as principal. Before that she only had taken a leave of absence in case she would return to pick back up with her career. She came back home to the USA within the month after she sorted out that she loved me more than her career. And now she works 2 jobs here... one in the school cafeteria serving students and one at an assisted living taking care of the elderly. And she is trying right now to go in the Air National Guard, which will make 3 jobs. A lot tougher a road than her one well paying job as principal in Manila. So, my wife, at least, is one Filipina who I can say was not chasing money or prestige. I cant speak for anyone else... but I can speak for me and my wife.

That's great. My wife gave up her practice and her license as a dentist when she came here. However, I don't think that changes the fact that both our spouses came from a place where a large population lives in dire poverty. While some people can make a comfortable living for themselves, a lot seek work abroad and many families there rely on a regular flow of money from relatives living abroad. Most of them see no real economic future without looking elsewhere.

[joe'swifey 1]

Hello there,

I meet my kano husband thru internet that was 8 years ago. Hes 13 years older then me we dont make a lot of money and we dont have the perfect relationship iether but it doesnt make me want to divorce him.I accept him for who he is and he accept me for me. it did not matter where when and how we meet we made it for 8 years now. some internet love might work others might not. Its not the circumstance of how you meet its the willingness to work hard for the realationship.cheers and good luck to you