Internet Love or not to Love?

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Mike,

It's not rocket science in understanding that income inequality is a mitigating factor in these international marriages between older American men and younger women from Third World countries. You're welcome to search for whatever data you are looking for, but the evidence is right there. The income inequality provides an avenue for which older American men can find eager, younger women to marry. That doesn't make these marriages any less bonafide. The consulate in Manila understands this element. No one is turning a blind eye to that reality, except some of the men here who like to think that their younger Filipina brides chose them out of pure love without any other motivations. That's fairy tale BS. How many times are you going to read about some sad sack Amerikano posting on here saying that she left him after she got her green card before you recognize the pattern? While some guys here want to blame the girls - believing that they are the scammers, the reality is both are playing a game of mutual exploitation. All I'm saying is that income inequality is the underlying factor - where both partners, consciously or unconsciously, enter into the relationship under that pretext. If an Amerikano truly wants a fairy tale romance, they can go find it in a divorced, pudgy, middle-aged American woman with kids. Because that's when love is truly blind both ways.

Steve,

(other than to indicate noted, I will pass your persuasive inference I am naive)

This post proves you do not need sensationalized spin to sell your POV.

I agree with everything you stated in this post. I notice you chose "a mitigating factor". I think "a" is acceptable. I disagree when you state "by and large". (with that phrasing) You imply this is fact for the majority of Fil-Am relationships.

My only point of contention (with your argument)..."by and large" is an erroneous assumption. I seek appropriate & respectful phrasing.

There are more Kanos seeking joint sponsors than victims of a green card transaction. Let's keep things in proper perspective.

Edited June 21, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[TiklingGuy 211]

And yes I met my wife on the internet as well, right now she is in the kitchen making Pancit... yum!! Then we will jump on the bike and go for a ride 108F ( 42c ) heat or not...

I cant stand that Pancit.

[LSnBigBear 61]

I love sharing this story how we met in Cebu. I was at my local ex pat pub listening to the band which had an Enlgishman in it with pinoys. I was fresh out of a bad lying (not me this time lol) relationship I had off and on for 5 years there. In walked my now fiancee with her roomate and her roomates LARGE mother.. The ol saying of good filipinas have an excort is correct. This woman intimidated me and I am large man...... So my Welsh Mate was eyeing up my now fiancees roomate and told me he wanted to talk with her at the set break. I told him I thought she was interested in the band member but he would not have any of it... At the set break my Welshman buddy asked me to go with him as his wingman. I told him to hit on my fiancee (how werid is that).. He said nope he wanted the other. So I sat with him talking with my fiancee... I was as they say in Philippines Hubog, I mean really really drunk.. I gave her my business card and told her to call me if she wanted to go out. I then went to the bar and sat down to finish my night. They later left with the large mama of the one as they had curfew (cracks me up)>. Next day I woke to a txt from her. We met at Jollibee for our first date. Honestly I could not remember what she looked like... Then pops up this little kid I swear.... I looked at her after she said "hello" my first words were "are you 18 show me your id"

She laughed and told me she was 22 and college graduate etc.... I did not like tiny women,,,, so I thought lol... I told her I did not want anything serious.. I gave her my drama story from previous past failed relationships. After months her personality and love grew on me. Now I am very much in love with her. I tried pushing her away... She was very persistent and so very sincere.. I could not be any happier... I hope everyone has this and can get this... Yep age gap, yep she knows my income is 2/3 less than I used to make.. And she still loves me... We will start over as when I was married 28 years ago to my first wife. Poor but in love lol...

[LSnBigBear 61]

I cant stand that Pancit.

Oh those are fighting words I love most Filipino Foods. I take it you're not a fan of Balute either???

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Do like I did. I took a picture of my neighbors new truck and sent it to the not yet wife then and told her it was mine. I made sure I had a story for how I totaled it before she got here. You want to show her a nice house then drive through a ritzy neighborhood and snap a pic of the biggest house you see.

About this "true love" thing. WTH is true love? Those words "true love" get thrown around a lot on this site yet I still haven't seen a definition of it. And who cares if a guy found it easier to find a gal in a country that's not doing so good financially? Mail order brides was a US thing back in the 1800's for gals living back east and looking for a better life out west. It worked for plenty of people back then and this internet thing seems to be doing ok these days. Some guys get scammed...some gals get scammed. Look at the MENA forum, RUB forum..probably this forum also....it happens.

I'm all for this internet thing when finding a gal. It cuts right to the chase. You got web cams these days along with digital camera's in the phones, etc.. great way to communicate if you don't feel like playing the game here in the states. Just know what to look out for and if you don't then try and read up on it.

[TiklingGuy 211]

Oh those are fighting words I love most Filipino Foods. I take it you're not a fan of Balute either???

I figured i will get jumped for that one! I am not much of a fan of Filipino food, which is why i don't blame Monreal for not liking American food. Never heard of Balute. I would try it for sure, but one thing i think is absolutely disgusting is that Kasabo cake. (I hope i spelled that right). i would rather sniff my own armpit than eat that again.

[LSnBigBear 61]

Steve,

(other than to indicate noted, I will pass your persuasive inference I am naive)

This post proves you do not need sensationalized spin to sell your POV.

I agree with everything you stated in this post. I notice you chose "a mitigating factor". I think "a" is acceptable. I disagree when you state "by and large". (with that phrasing) You imply this is fact for the majority of Fil-Am relationships.

My only point of contention (with your argument)..."by and large" is an erroneous assumption. I seek appropriate & respectful phrasing.

There are more Kanos seeking joint sponsors than victims of a green card transaction. Let's keep things in proper perspective.

Mike and Steve: When my contract ended in Phils I got reassigned to Atlanta... I was making good money then and found that when I frequented a local sports bar most women paid me no attention for the first month.. Until one day one noticed me paying with my Platinum American Express Card. Hmmmmm as quite a few women started showing me more attention shortly after that. I wonder why...... I even dated a woman close to my now fiancee's age... So story here is no matter what coutry we love in, men and women differ but not that much.

A man's attraction normally is with his eyes. A woman's is the sense of appreciation, feelings, security and then looks/eyes... Reference two great books that are eye openners. "Every Man's Battle and Every Woman's Battle. They are Christian Books and great reads. I love the feedback Gents.. Good stuff

[neodragon0l 6]

My fiance and I met online via a common friend. We both did not expect this since we are too busy with our careers. I did final thesis on Online Love back in college. The truth is there is no difference from in person dating besides the fact people on this forum have to deal with long distance relationships. That's an added pain and suffering for us. Whether it is online dating or in person, the obstacles that couple go through vary: Age difference, class difference, cultural difference, long distance relationships, and of course personality clash. My fiancee and I go through a lot of cultural differences and long distance relationships. We are almost the same age, and our personalities mesh together. She puts up with me... lolz

The biggest fear for online dating is because you don't get that first impression. With online profiles, you can quickly fake it. Then again, you can show up to an in person dating scheme and pretend to be an astronaut or a venture capitalist. There are scams for Green Cards because we are in the United States. I have been there. I met several women who were more interested in my status than who I am. I met beautiful nurses in the Philippines, but you have the doubt that they will leave as soon as they get their green card. So like any relationship, take your time knowing the person as it will definitely haunt you later. I know some of the forum members can attest to that. For me, it is a huge leap, but I am optimistic that we will be fine.

Edited June 21, 2012 by neodragon0l

[LSnBigBear 61]

I figured i will get jumped for that one! I am not much of a fan of Filipino food, which is why i don't blame Monreal for not liking American food. Never heard of Balute. I would try it for sure, but one thing i think is absolutely disgusting is that Kasabo cake. (I hope i spelled that right). i would rather sniff my own armpit than eat that again.

Ask your wife about Balute. Then tell me I am disgusting. Your armpit may smell better and taste better than Balute. But I did it 3 times..... Thank God for Beer and Vinnegar...

[neodragon0l 6]

I figured i will get jumped for that one! I am not much of a fan of Filipino food, which is why i don't blame Monreal for not liking American food. Never heard of Balute. I would try it for sure, but one thing i think is absolutely disgusting is that Kasabo cake. (I hope i spelled that right). i would rather sniff my own armpit than eat that again.

If you don't like Casava cake, I guarantee you won't like Balut. It's a fetus. Let's leave to that.

[StraightShooter 62]

...i would rather sniff my own armpit than eat that again.

That made me laugh right out loud!

[neodragon0l 6]

Ask your wife about Balute. Then tell me I am disgusting. Your armpit may smell better and taste better than Balute. But I did it 3 times..... Thank God for Beer and Vinnegar...

[david'sgirl 134]

I would like to know the percentage of K1 or K3 Visa's started with Internet Dating and how everyone's relationship is going? Pros, Cons etc. I dated two women on internet domestically and it did not fair well.

I was fortunate to live and work in the Philippines so I was able to meet my Love the old fashion way face to face courting. I have many war wounds as well from my past dating ;( too.

Reason for my post is I have read some bad situations where petioners were scammed or two sides to every story, there wife left them for some reason after greencard.

I think I will find your comments great as learning curve. I am starting an ebook draft for fun on dating internationally as I lived there, been around many many people from different backgrounds and enjoy learning and sharing.

I often wonder if someday we will refer to "meeting our spouse the old fashion way" as meeting him or her via internet which seems to be popular now days. lol

Thanks for your sharing......

You can meet a jerk just as easily through traditional dating as you can online. I met my ex husband in a night club and it didn't work out.

We met on Match.com back in 2007,in person in 2008 and married in 2009. We are nearing our 3rd anniversary and remain very happy. You never know!

We never planned to meet anyone long distance but it has worked out well. Being apart for so long led to many long talks which helped us to

really get to know each other well before we met. By the time we met it was like we were old friends.

You need to be careful who you trust. There are a lot of people online who are not at all who they pretend to be. If you talk often I think

you will be able to tell if someone is false.

The internet certainly increases your dating pool quite a bit!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Mike and Steve: When my contract ended in Phils I got reassigned to Atlanta... I was making good money then and found that when I frequented a local sports bar most women paid me no attention for the first month.. Until one day one noticed me paying with my Platinum American Express Card. Hmmmmm as quite a few women started showing me more attention shortly after that. I wonder why...... I even dated a woman close to my now fiancee's age... So story here is no matter what coutry we love in, men and women differ but not that much.

A man's attraction normally is with his eyes. A woman's is the sense of appreciation, feelings, security and then looks/eyes... Reference two great books that are eye openners. "Every Man's Battle and Every Woman's Battle. They are Christian Books and great reads. I love the feedback Gents.. Good stuff

Sure, there are women here in the states that still look for a man who can provide them with financial security, but fortunately, nowadays, Amerian women are a bit more on equal ground when it comes to earning power and economic mobility.

[JoBri 545]

My wife is 14 years younger than me. She had her dream job and was the principal of a school in Metro Manila. Her students scored the highest of all schools within her district too. She had financial security, and a promising future. She left it all to be with me. We live in relative poverty. Life is hard for us financially. We have had our rough times. We also have a 2 year old between us. We also met online, but not at a dating site. She had all to lose and nothing to gain in coming here. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my family. But then we both believe that is exactly who brought us together and holds us together.

There is no real difference between whether an Amerikano meets his future wife through a dating service or face-to-face in terms of the potential for fraud, given that in both situations, it is incredible that a woman would be so willing to give up everything she knows and leave it behind to spend her life with a man who is typically older than her, along with all the personal baggage he has. You only need to think about the likelihood that an older American male with relatively limited income would be able to attract a much younger woman from a First World Country - the chances are nil. Young Filipinas, by and large, who are eager and willing to marry these older American men are looking at marriage as a way out of poverty. That's the reality. The consulate recognizes this and most of these couples, if they are honest enough with themselves, know this as well. So whether you meet her through a dating service or face-to-face, there is always that factor - income inequality, that impacts the decision making process for the Filipina. Recognizing that would go a long way in helping these older American men avoid feeling they are being exploited for the 'green card.'

Edited June 21, 2012 by Brijo