Divorced american man now married to filipina

[Sayha or bust. 71]

Not normal at all. I have 3 kids with my ex wife and talk strictly about children and that's not very often since I've had physical custody of my kids since 1999. As far as insurances policies I definitively would of never kept up on any of the coverage's on her , she might of grabbed a sum of his 401 k but you usually pay up at the time of the divorce. This guy still has some type of feeling for this woman. Sounds like a your putting your foot down but he's not taking you seriously. Follow through on them , do you have friends you can stay with or confide in? Go to counseling to help your relationship. Best of Luck.

[Shawn C 11]

Being excessively jealous is a VERY bad thing for a relationship. But so it being disrespectful of your spouse and not understanding that your actions can be very hurtful to her. Reading your comments does raise some red flags in my mind though, especially due to the possibility of her leaving him for another woman (not a great thing for a man's ego).

I hope things improve, maybe it will just take some time for him to realize what he has now and that he doesn't want to lose somebody who actually loves him.

[Bayareaguy 156]

Wow, completely disagree, children should always come first. Spouses may come and go, children are above them.

When I read comments like this, I always think about this article: http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/128932/loving_the_husband_more_than

and truly realize which situation is superior...

Besides that, the adult in the household should be the main benefactor for the reasons stated above...you can always set up a trust should you want a portion to go to your children.

Edited June 2, 2012 by Bayareaguy

[steve101 0]

I believe there comes a time where you have to sit down together=lay the cards on the table and tell the guy exactly what you need to change-if he went through the process of counting you and getting you over there to the US he should also have the motivation to work this problem out. There will be many in life-big and small-you both need to be open enough and most important approachable to solve these kinds of problems together. If he's just too stubborn or close minded you may be heading toward an end. Best of luck!! Ask yourself--do you REALLY matter to him???

[Mogambi 96]

I do think there is something cultural that could be going on to. I'm not saying his actions are OK. But now being in a relationship with my fiance for two years, things like this can be viewed differently. I think for Filipinos, it's very hard to understand that it is POSSIBLE for a couple who have split to remain friends. Even close friends. Of course he needs to be respectful of his current wife. But I also think it's unfair for her to demand he cut off all communication with her, IF there is nothing funny going on.

Let's face it, Filipinas get very jealous, and they get very possessive of their men. This might be stereotype. But I do believe it's also true.

This isn't to say that you're wrong to feel what you feel. But as for supporting her, what if he's required to support her? What if the terms of his divorce are that he has to pay some of her bills. That's no uncommon in a divorce. And if he's paying her car insurance because he is concerned that maybe she won't have it, and she's driving his kids around, then honestly that doesn't seem all that bad to me.