going to pursue CR-1, live with him abroad (not in his home country). how will this affect the visa process

[pushbrk 12,092]

Ok I just said we are going to go for the K-1 visa, which means we won't be getting married during my trip. I will file the petition of the K-1 after my trip. So yeah, i would have met him within the last two years by the time I file. And I just said in my last post, since we are going for the K-1, I will not be living with him. I won't live with him if I'm not married to him. Kindly read my post before replying.

The Catch 22 in all this is that if you don't spend significant time together in person, that makes your evidence of bona fide relationship pretty slim. If YOUR concern is for the parents to meet your fiancee before marriage, a failed K1 process won't accomplish that. Your chances of obtaining a visa for him are far greater if you live together for some significant time. If for you, that means marriage first, then great.

Why does HE want to take the K1 route?

For your residence together to be in SA instead of Nigeria, (big difference) obviously, you will BOTH need the appropriate visas.

[Adriene H 89]

Please take a friend with you on your first visit.

Please don't go alone!

Americans that travel to South Africa and Nigeria

get kidnapped, rape, and beheaded and not necessarily

in that order in this area of the world. Just watch

the news!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8668615.stm

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/jun/05/south-africa-violence-foreigners

Edited May 14, 2012 by Adriene H

[cappucino boy 29]

No one has suggested him coming to the US, is that an option? Since the plan is for him to come to live it seems that he should travel here?????

[pushbrk 12,092]

No one has suggested him coming to the US, is that an option? Since the plan is for him to come to live it seems that he should travel here?????

Nobody is suggesting it because a young single Nigerian male has virtually no chance of obtaining a visitor visa for the USA.

[AmyWrites 593]

No one has suggested him coming to the US, is that an option? Since the plan is for him to come to live it seems that he should travel here?????

It's almost impossible for him to visit the US, especially if he says "To visit my 20 year old girlfriend".

[chaine1 116]

Americans that travel to South Africa and Nigeria

get kidnapped, rape, and beheaded and not necessarily

in that order in this area of the world.

That's a pretty big blanket statement. How about the thousands that travel there (myself included) who safely return, only happier to have seen some of the most beautiful scenery available on the Earth?

A quote from your own source (BBC article):

"In blunt terms, areas with problems have murder levels that can be wildly above the national average. "

While yes, the rate of crime is high, the rules one follows to maintain personal safety in Africa are the same rules one would follow in any part of the world.

Rule Number 1 = Stay out of high crime areas.

[cappucino boy 29]

It's almost impossible for him to visit the US, especially if he says "To visit my 20 year old girlfriend".

Thanks, I'm not familiar with visas for that country. I just hope that she's not being scamed. I have heard that it happens alot from Africa.

[Boiler 43,392]

Do 3 or 4 trips and then take a view as to what you want to do next.

[AmyWrites 593]

Thanks, I'm not familiar with visas for that country. I just hope that she's not being scamed. I have heard that it happens alot from Africa.

The fact that they're already talking US visas makes it look not very well intentioned, but hey maybe I'm wrong. Best thing she can do is visit him first, hopefully not alone.

[afoyoswa 178]

Kindly read my post before replying.

Being snippy isn't really going to help you get the support you need here on VJ.

Also, I'm a planner too, believe me, and it is certainly good to think ahead of time about what the process will require if you should mutually decide to pursue a life together. But I would really question the motives of a guy who is willing to commit to someone from the other side of the world, sight unseen. Ask yourself if a reasonable adult would make a decision like this if he A) had an occupation, a good income, and a full life in his home country (I'm making an assumption that he does not, since you mentioned that he is in another country without a work visa), and B) involving someone from his home country. I would guess not. So, if he is willing to suspend the usual processes of being careful and cautious about something that will impact the rest of his life, why is this? The consular officers will assume that this is due to your nationality and potential to bring him to the U.S. (I'm also intrigued by the insurance settlement that you mentioned, which if he knows about it, could also be assumed to play a role in his decision-making processes.)

I'm also in the situation of making a gamble on someone from a mostly unfamiliar country, but we made that decision together after hitting it off in person and having our connection to each other attain "critical mass" through spending enough time together that we were willing to make sacrifices to pursue being together. Having interacted with someone online would not be nearly enough to justify making those sacrifices, for me. What if you go through all of this planning and traveling to visit him, and when you get there, find that he is really just not who you thought he would be, or vice versa? I wouldn't want you to go ahead with your plan just because you have constructed this Epic Love Story that must culminate in riding off into the sunset together, and would find it too jarring, upsetting, or embarrassing to deviate from the script.

Another issue that you haven't discussed is your potential to support him once he gets here. You say that you are 20 and unemployed. Co-sponsors are definitely an option, but I've read that co-sponsors may not be enough if you do not have the potential to generate a higher income yourself in the future. At 20, many people are enrolled in college and can be expected to earn more after graduation, but I'm not sure what your situation is or whether this is the case for you.

Just some food for thought: if the shoe fits, and all...

Edited May 14, 2012 by afoyoswa

[cappucino boy 29]

Thanks, I'm not familiar with visas for that country. I just hope that she's not being scamed. I have heard that it happens alot from Africa.

I agree, I met my wife twice before getting married. The OP mentioned that they have been dating 10 months without meeting, and in my opinion unless you've actually met I wouldn't condsider this as dating. Getting to know each ohter, yes. But not dating....meaning that you are actively spending time with that person in person!

[AmyWrites 593]

That's a pretty big blanket statement. How about the thousands that travel there (myself included) who safely return, only happier to have seen some of the most beautiful scenery available on the Earth?

A quote from your own source (BBC article):

"In blunt terms, areas with problems have murder levels that can be wildly above the national average. "

While yes, the rate of crime is high, the rules one follows to maintain personal safety in Africa are the same rules one would follow in any part of the world.

Rule Number 1 = Stay out of high crime areas.

Of course it's a beautiful country. But a young single 20 year old woman, alone, is easy pickings for crime just about anywhere. Even in safer areas.

[fantonledzepp 159]

Yep, I made 5 trips to Ecuador to see my then girlfriend to see how we were together. Skype is not enough. You think you can argue with somebody through Skype, wait till you do it in person hahaha.

I've made 4 more trips since filing the I-129F, and they still help to see that I indeed want to spend my life with her...

My point resonates with everybody else's, you need to spend time together before making life-long decisions. Pleas, make a few trips there and see how you guys are... Together.

Best of luck to you!

[DairyFarmer 1]

My parents lived in SA for the last 11 years and I visited 5 times; 2 of which on extended stay for 90 days or more.

You will be able to obtain a 90 day entry in to SA. It is not a visa it is an Exemption and the idea is you intend to stay 90 days or less. Then you MUST leave the country. But you can often just cross the broader for a week and then go back on another 90 day visa.

They usually ask to see proof of support ie your bank account and will absolutely expect to see a return ticket.

And on a second return closely on the heels of the first there is more scrutiny.

[at long last 58]

You know I want everyone to have their happy ever after. But truly as a mother this screams warning warning warning . The flags are up and my stomach turned over reading your post. PLEASE however well intended and as good as this may feel now every relationship lives in a "honeymoon" phase and the ONLY way to move past the happy endorphine filled phase is to spend time together and really learn each others daily life and habits. It truly is much different. I would not be comfortable with my daughter going off like this alone. I commend you on your planning and researching but please think this over deeper. He might be a most loving caring and your Mr right, but then it might not be all it seems.

I hope you will do as others suggested and not do this alone. In any country it is not the best situation. The people here care what happens as we all have a very tough road by having long distance relationships heed their words and learn from their experience.

I wish you all the best...

Terri