possibly thinking about divorce..

[whatdouwantfromme 0]

Hi All,

my husband has been here for 3 years now.. something is just not working in our marriage.. he has his set ways, and set old fashioned mentality and does not want to change.. anyway long story short.. he applied for removing conditions, went to do his finger prints again.. has not received his new green card ( is he even supposed to get a new one?)... so, in the even we do get a divorce, i do not want him in the US.. is there anyway that i can make sure he gets his behind back to the country he came from?.. i really dont want him getting his citizenship and staying here... is there anyway that i can prevent that by getting a divorce?

[Macbook 2]

Hi All,

my husband has been here for 3 years now.. something is just not working in our marriage.. he has his set ways, and set old fashioned mentality and does not want to change.. anyway long story short.. he applied for removing conditions, went to do his finger prints again.. has not received his new green card ( is he even supposed to get a new one?)... so, in the even we do get a divorce, i do not want him in the US.. is there anyway that i can make sure he gets his behind back to the country he came from?.. i really dont want him getting his citizenship and staying here... is there anyway that i can prevent that by getting a divorce?

Sorry. Too late! He is getting permanent GC and in 2 years he can apply for citizenship. Unless if you have proof that he married you just for immigration purposes, witch is very hard to proof.

This is not legal advice it is just my personal opinion. For legal advice you will need to talk to immigration attorney!

[Dave&Roza 748]

Hi All,

my husband has been here for 3 years now.. something is just not working in our marriage.. he has his set ways, and set old fashioned mentality and does not want to change.. anyway long story short.. he applied for removing conditions, went to do his finger prints again.. has not received his new green card ( is he even supposed to get a new one?)... so, in the even we do get a divorce, i do not want him in the US.. is there anyway that i can make sure he gets his behind back to the country he came from?.. i really dont want him getting his citizenship and staying here... is there anyway that i can prevent that by getting a divorce?

Sorry to here that the marriage may not work out. Why do you want to punish him by sending him back home? Once he received his 2-yr GC he was on his way to becoming a USC as long as he entered the marriage in good faith. He can file ROC with or without you and once approved, he can file to become a USC after 5-years if you divorce. Nothing you can do to prevent this. I would decide if you want to remain in this marriage. NO ONE WILL EVER CHANGE!!! I hope you did not marry him and hope you could change him. You need to accept him as is or move on without the need to send his behind back to the country he came from.

Good luck,

Dave

[DanielleB 5]

Hi All,

my husband has been here for 3 years now.. something is just not working in our marriage.. he has his set ways, and set old fashioned mentality and does not want to change.. anyway long story short.. he applied for removing conditions, went to do his finger prints again.. has not received his new green card ( is he even supposed to get a new one?)... so, in the even we do get a divorce, i do not want him in the US.. is there anyway that i can make sure he gets his behind back to the country he came from?.. i really dont want him getting his citizenship and staying here... is there anyway that i can prevent that by getting a divorce?

Didn't you know how he was before you married him? You should have loved him the way he was, not hoping if you brought him here you could change him. If this is the only reason you want a divorce then maybe you should try to make it work. Don't give up so easily. I could understand if he was abusing you mentally or physically but what makes you dislike him so much to get him kicked out of the U.S.? Anyways, thats not my buisness. Best of luck to you.

[james&olya 1,121]

Hi All,

my husband has been here for 3 years now.. something is just not working in our marriage.. he has his set ways, and set old fashioned mentality and does not want to change.. anyway long story short.. he applied for removing conditions, went to do his finger prints again.. has not received his new green card ( is he even supposed to get a new one?)... so, in the even we do get a divorce, i do not want him in the US.. is there anyway that i can make sure he gets his behind back to the country he came from?.. i really dont want him getting his citizenship and staying here... is there anyway that i can prevent that by getting a divorce?

What?!! You are sounding like you feel you own him and now want to return him to the store! He is a person with his own rights and needs. He is undoubtedly not perfect and I bet you aren't either! You made the decision to marry and if he entered into a good faith marriage with you and has shown that to the satisfaction of the officials at his ROC interview then it will be his decision where he lives. Divorce means severing a marital relationship. You cannot hold the power to 'send him home'! Maybe that attitude is playing a role in the threatened break-up of your marriage! Or maybe he is just a real jerk that took advantage of someone willing to believe whatever he needed to say to get here by marriage to you. Either way he is here now and it really shouldn't concern you that much where he goes once he is out of your life if you do divorce. A bit of advice, don't dwell on whatever anger or bitterness this has caused you. The only one hurt by that is yourself! Move on with your life and look on this as tuition paid for education!

[NancyNguyen 1,657]

What?!! You are sounding like you feel you own him and now want to return him to the store! He is a person with his own rights and needs. He is undoubtedly not perfect and I bet you aren't either! You made the decision to marry and if he entered into a good faith marriage with you and has shown that to the satisfaction of the officials at his ROC interview then it will be his decision where he lives. Divorce means severing a marital relationship. You cannot hold the power to 'send him home'! Maybe that attitude is playing a role in the threatened break-up of your marriage! Or maybe he is just a real jerk that took advantage of someone willing to believe whatever he needed to say to get here by marriage to you. Either way he is here now and it really shouldn't concern you that much where he goes once he is out of your life if you do divorce. A bit of advice, don't dwell on whatever anger or bitterness this has caused you. The only one hurt by that is yourself! Move on with your life and look on this as tuition paid for education!

Off my hat to you.

[UK_Fan 192]

sorry to hear about your luck, but man.. this never fails.. every time Americans want a divorce, they automatically want their ex-spouses out of the country.. it's disgusting to read stuff like that..

you loved him enough to bring him over here and now that you no longer want him, you are looking for a return policy..maybe you should have put a clause in your prenup about it or something.. no, really, this is ridiculous.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

my husband has been here for 3 years now.. something is just not working in our marriage.. he has his set ways, and set old fashioned mentality and does not want to change.. Okay so he's not a bad guy. You just aren't compatible anymore. That's not a crime. He probably feels the same about you.

anyway long story short.. he applied for removing conditions, went to do his finger prints again.. has not received his new green card ( is he even supposed to get a new one?)... Yes he will. Don't even THINK about keeping the card from him or doing anything with his mail. That is a federal crime.

so, in the even we do get a divorce, i do not want him in the US.. Why? What does it have to do with you once you're divorced?

is there anyway that i can make sure he gets his behind back to the country he came from?.. Nope. He's done nothing wrong.

i really dont want him getting his citizenship and staying here... That's nice. I don't want my grass to grow so quick 'cause mowing takes ages... oh wait, you mean i have no control over that?... neither do you.

is there anyway that i can prevent that by getting a divorce? No. He's done nothing wrong. His immigration status and eventual citizenship status are none of your business. It is incredibly mean and vindictive for you to try and use his status against him. In fact it's considered abuse.

Answers in red above.

It never ceases to amaze me how vindictive people can get. His immigration is not your concern. I'm sorry your relationship ended but that doesn't give you the right to dictate where he lives out the rest of his life.

**Edit - I should also mention him getting citizenship cancels the I-864 so it's good for you.

Edited March 31, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[aaydrian 479]

OP has had her husband for more than 30 days and the warranty is up. Can't send him back.

Serious now: This is why people date, to decide their compatibility and if they accept and can live with their spouse's 'flaws'.

Its funny that you say he's set in his ways when I can bet you are just as hard headed a he. And his old fashion mentality I'm sure is something you were aware of before you were even married. Sorry to say you made your bed so now you're going to have to lie in it. Set aside your vindictive thoughts and either get marital counseling or divorce they guy and be done with him.

[Moomin 292]

I completely agree with all the answers - being old-fashioned might be a reason for ending a relationship but not the authority to kick someone out of the country. It isn't a crime being old-fashioned. If that was the case, my dad would be kicked out of his own country.

[Tanya and Barry 59]

I completely agree with all the answers - being old-fashioned might be a reason for ending a relationship but not the authority to kick someone out of the country. It isn't a crime being old-fashioned. If that was the case, my dad would be kicked out of his own country.

I think that's the way my sons might feel about me...

[NancyNguyen 1,657]

This lady has long gone!