Marriage is breaking apart

[rlogan 2,036]

A good Filipina makes a great wife.

Filipinas have not had feminazis relentlessly attacking men the last two generations for providing for their family. It is a fallacy that hating men "liberates" women from anything.

Our OP took a chance on an American man, and got a bad one. She was more the traditional Filipina for sure - talk about committment. Oh well, one foot in front of the other now RedVelvet. One of the other things we are counseled to do in abusive relationships is to focus on health - eating right and eating regularly, sleeping, a nd exercise. An abusive relationship has the victim drained emotionally, which affects us physically. Tears us down. Makes us confused and depressed with all the symptoms depression brings on - listlessness, lethargy, feeling worthless, etc.

The uncertainty about the future just kills you. Makes you feel helpless. Once you have finally taken control and made the decision you can also make yourself into a powerful little dynamo physically and mentally by exercising along with sleeping and eating right. Make out your daily "to do" list, schedule your exercise in there, etc. That gives you the feeling you are now captain of your ship and master of your destiny. Because you are!

[meblue 5]

Hi Caryh- Thank you for the words I do appreciated it a lot.I wish you and ur wife the best and long lasting love.

Thank you and God Bless you both.

Hi, Redvelvet what state are you from? I hope you don't mind me asking. I'm a Filipina also and from Ohio. If you're from Ohio maybe we can call each other and I can introduce you to my other Filipina friends here in Ohio. Maybe we can help you in that situation that you are in right now.

meblue

[~Redvelvet~ 6]

Filipinas have not had feminazis relentlessly attacking men the last two generations for providing for their family. It is a fallacy that hating men "liberates" women from anything.

Our OP took a chance on an American man, and got a bad one. She was more the traditional Filipina for sure - talk about committment. Oh well, one foot in front of the other now RedVelvet. One of the other things we are counseled to do in abusive relationships is to focus on health - eating right and eating regularly, sleeping, a nd exercise. An abusive relationship has the victim drained emotionally, which affects us physically. Tears us down. Makes us confused and depressed with all the symptoms depression brings on - listlessness, lethargy, feeling worthless, etc.

The uncertainty about the future just kills you. Makes you feel helpless. Once you have finally taken control and made the decision you can also make yourself into a powerful little dynamo physically and mentally by exercising along with sleeping and eating right. Make out your daily "to do" list, schedule your exercise in there, etc. That gives you the feeling you are now captain of your ship and master of your destiny. Because you are!

Thank you very much rlogan.Everything what you've said here is very strong message for me.I thought every details here,all the comments and trying to focus on one thing,"It's time to give back some love for myself and it's time to give back the respect for myself"that someone has taken it from me for all those years.

I do appreciate all of your replies here.

Godspeed.

[~Redvelvet~ 6]

Hi, Redvelvet what state are you from? I hope you don't mind me asking. I'm a Filipina also and from Ohio. If you're from Ohio maybe we can call each other and I can introduce you to my other Filipina friends here in Ohio. Maybe we can help you in that situation that you are in right now.

meblue

Oh I am miles away from Ohio Meblue .

Thank you for the thoughts meblue.I do appreciated it.

[meblue 5]

Oh I am miles away from Ohio Meblue .

Thank you for the thoughts meblue.I do appreciated it.

Hi,

Just pray that God will help you and guide you in the right path. I am praying for you. I know you will make it.

Edited April 4, 2012 by meblue

[Ron and Rhea 42]

RV...I agree with Rlogan, you must take care of yourself, physically and emotionally. As I might have mentioned, I went to therapy, alone, and it did wonders for me....and yes, you must make youself the most important person. You seem to have a sweet and kind soul.

Good luck and godbless you.

Thank you very much rlogan.Everything what you've said here is very strong message for me.I thought every details here,all the comments and trying to focus on one thing,"It's time to give back some love for myself and it's time to give back the respect for myself"that someone has taken it from me for all those years.

I do appreciate all of your replies here.

Godspeed.

[ChrisB0707 4]

Hello to all the vj's members here.

Hi guys,I don't know how to start my story but I will try to explain as long as I can.And hopefully,I can pick it up some good information and advices and I really need your expert advices here.Now,to share and start a little bit of my story with him(my husband).I met my husband 5 years ago tru online and after few months of sweet exchanging emails,letters,phone calls,chatting twice or 3 times a day,we got engaged!(3 mos from the time dat we've met online....I know it was fast but oh well).He decided to meet me in person with the engagement ring on it and of course to meet my whole family and formally asked my hand to my parents.I was so happy knowing I will getting married to the man who I fell inlove with and to be there not for me only but for both of us.Before our wedding day,I seriously asked him a questions "Can you give me a kids one day?"and he said YES and he promised.Everything went perfect until we got married,the night after our wedding we didn't do anything we sleep together only and that's it!!!As a wife,I started to feel supicious about his health but he knows how to play his game so that he can keep me, and whatever am doing to start a conversation about our marriage and his health he will raise his voice right away, and I feel like tearing my heart everytime he's doing it to me and we always argue about that almost everyday and everynight, and I feel so sad because it seems he lied to me and become selfish.Our fight started when he can't give me attention,not to be open with me with conversation,not communicating with me always and ended up telling him he lied to me because of what he promised.

Days,Weeks,Months,and Years has gone by,I tried to be positive,strong,value our vows,take care of him with all my heart,understand,patient,eventhough he never give me what I want as his wife(I think),but I always be there for him,lifting him up if he is sad,comfort him.I am very affectionate wife,matured than my age,very open minded person,honest and very faithful one.After the long battled,he decided to bring me up here in the US but before my visa process I confronted him for everything and he promised again he will be there for us and work our marriage as soon as I'll get here(US).We're living together but since our wedding date we don't do couple stuffs and always sleep in separate rooms.Sometimes,I thought he married with me(young)because he wants somebody to take care and watch him only nothing else.Those times in my life was so dark,I always crying whole nigt,I told him how I feel about it but he always ignored me and telling i'll get over it.I asked him many times for counselling but nothing happen.Now,I am tired and I wanted to get out of this messy life.I don't wanna cry at all because it seems there's no tears left from me.I am still young and I wanted to be happy only and to have my own family someday.But I don't know how to start and make a right decision since I'm always scared about my status. :crying:

MY QUESTIONS ARE:

1.Can I file a Divorce to my husband?If I could,how it will affect to my status?(I am LPR already and married with him over 4 years now and one more year to be waiting and I will be able to apply for citizenship).

2.What are all the disadvatages/advantages if I will file a divorce before my Naturalization?

3.He can really do something and hold my status and file againts me for divorcing him?

4.What I needed to do?

5.What are all the steps?

Please guys I really need your help/expert advices on this situation & every information must be appreciated.

Please feel free to drop some info and enlighten my mind (

I am very tired,frustrated and very confuse now.

Thank you!!!

P.S I tried my best to value our marriage but his the only one pushing me away from him

If you have had your green card for at least 3 years and married to the US citizen you can already file to become a US citizen. I would do this before you file for divorce then you have nothing to worry about. You can even take back your Filipino name during the process with no charge.

[islandbaby 1]

Thank you so much for the post Adiian.May God bless you always and to your marriage as well.I wish for you and your husband for long lasting love and relationship.

I feel sad on what you experiencing right now ,thats the price tag attached when we agreed to marry different race we dont know if we are going to succeed or fail in married life.Some people follow their heart thinking that its the best thing to do, some use their mind but we really dont know if we made the right decision until we already in a relationship and experienced the outcome of our decision whether we leave or stay , happy because we chose this person to be with or we regret it.

If you want to move on with your life and like you said and ,you can leave your card with your husband and move back to the philippines. why do you have to worry about your applying for citizenship and divorcing him? maybe you guys need to have a break away from each other for a while and think of the 4 years of marriage together.weigh in the good and the bad side of it. go visit your family for couple of months since you have a green card you can stay there a little longer.that way you can unwind, be with your family ,relax and freshen up your mind and decide what will be your next step. weigh all things together (hope he does too ) if you sure you want him out of your life talk to him and if he dont agree and didnt straigthen out his promise then divorce is the last option.. sometimes being away makes the other person realized the importance of the other person and also they say Absence from the heart grow ponder.

GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY!

[Hank_ 9,173]

Why should she leave her card with him? Its not his to have - ever.