Trying to get Pregnant!

[andrea&roberto 1]

To the last few posters (other than you crazy high school/university drunk posts) TROLLS!

[MrsWhizz 0]

First I've ever heard of trolls being rational & responsible humans!

[LaL 418]

To the last few posters (other than you crazy high school/university drunk posts) TROLLS!

Actually giving some cautionary advice, which I believe was well intended, is not very troll like ... however that said, if you dont like the varied reactions to your discussion of detailed information like where it will take place and when her fertile time is, you could always scale back the details!

[andrea&roberto 1]

Let me just say this one thing, I didn't share with you (VJ Board) all the details about my life, financial situation, immigration situation, and religious views....which would make it difficult for you (VJ members) to judge my life or decision...which in fact, is a RESPONSIBLE, thought out, educated one, that only my husband and I can make; have decided to make, knowing fully our situation, and upcoming challenges that we may willing to face. So, i've gotten enough from this thread now, and will not be reading or participating. Thank you to all those who remained unjudgemental, and neutrally positive.

[almaty 19]

Let me just say this one thing, I didn't share with you (VJ Board) all the details about my life, financial situation, immigration situation, and religious views....which would make it difficult for you (VJ members) to judge my life or decision...which in fact, is a RESPONSIBLE, thought out, educated one, that only my husband and I can make; have decided to make, knowing fully our situation, and upcoming challenges that we may willing to face. So, i've gotten enough from this thread now, and will not be reading or participating. Thank you to all those who remained unjudgemental, and neutrally positive.

#######???? man, you are wound to tight

[KiKi 0]

Don't let it get you down, everyone has their own opinions, follow your heart and do what's right for your husband and you, NOBODY else.

My husband had just arrived in the US when I got pregnant and he didn't have a job then, but he ended up getting one and it all worked out.....in the meantime, I continued to work and had good helath insurance etc...

I wouldn't trade my beautiful daughter for ANY amount of money in the world

[one...two...tree 2,762]

get in the back seat of a 69 chevy..

That is funny! You know...My wife found my high school yearbook and was asking all about my high school experience here in the US. I told her I would show her. I took a 6-pack of Milwaukee's Best from my neighbor’s fridge, put the beer and the wife in the car, and drove out into the country. I then turned on the radio to some hard rock and we drank and made out in the back seat until about 10:30. When she asked me why we were going home so soon I told her that I had to have her back before her curfew!

Joel

You had her try the beer bong, yes? It's the only way to ingest Milwaukee's Best.

No...The beer bong wasn't around in my high school. That was University life for me. Maybe we will do the University experiance next weekend. Find a frat party, get roaring drunk, feel each other up, then wake up together on the pool table with dollar bills in our underwear.

Joel

Not that something like that ever happened to me.

That would be cool if you could 'rent' your old dorm room for just a night. Have her wear a cheerleading outfit. You could really have fun with this!

[Fandango 1,439]

Andrea...you opened a thread about your life and a very important choice you and your husband are making. You've shared your financial issues - you need a cosponsor, you're a server (which is a physical job so think about being 8 mos pregnant working), you've shared that you're coming into a specified amount of money shortly, you've even shared when you're ovulating. I don't understand how you could turn around and then blast ppl here for 'not knowing the details'

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that there is a financial strain when a fiance/spouse is brought over. We all know what we're facing...and you can read some threads to where the strain is taking its toll on some people. Yes, some come over on CR1 ready to hit the ground running, but it's not always like 'VOILA! I am here...give me my high-paying job now!

Add that stress of you being a physically single woman going thru a pregnancy, raising a baby in his/her first days all the while possibly being the sole provider for your whole family.

No one's sat here telling you what or what not to do...but since you've opened up this issue for debate, you have welcomed speculation. Not everyone will see things as you...some are more cautious (such as myself) I also don't seem to think that what I said was troll like at all...it was offered under the best of intentions just as something to consider....but then again, it's sometimes fashionable to shoot the messenger to disregard the message.

Edited October 6, 2006 by LisaD

[KiKi 0]

Just to clarify,

my husband did not walk in the door and into a high paying job, he literally got hired two days before I had my baby......it WAS a very scary and stressful year of looking for work for him, but ANDREA the point I was making was that you should do what you feel is right for oyu and your husband.

I would do it again in a heartbeat, because I love my baby that much!

Good luck

[ddave 0]

To the last few posters (other than you crazy high school/university drunk posts) TROLLS!

if you post on a public forum you invite opinion AND supposed trolls.. live with it

[Caladan 19]

Wasn't intending to be a troll. It can be expensive to have a baby, and it can be inadvisable to attempt a home birth if the pregnancy is difficult or high-risk. Heck, a friend of mine who had an easy pregnancy had to have her newborn placed in the hospital because the baby developed infant jaundice. Kid's fine now, but all the home birthing in the world wasn't going to have the treatment the baby needed to save her liver. And that can come about $10K in the bank or not.

[andrea&roberto 1]

Andrea...you opened a thread about your life and a very important choice you and your husband are making. You've shared your financial issues - you need a cosponsor, you're a server (which is a physical job so think about being 8 mos pregnant working), you've shared that you're coming into a specified amount of money shortly, you've even shared when you're ovulating. I don't understand how you could turn around and then blast ppl here for 'not knowing the details'

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that there is a financial strain when a fiance/spouse is brought over. We all know what we're facing...and you can read some threads to where the strain is taking its toll on some people. Yes, some come over on CR1 ready to hit the ground running, but it's not always like 'VOILA! I am here...give me my high-paying job now!

Add that stress of you being a physically single woman going thru a pregnancy, raising a baby in his/her first days all the while possibly being the sole provider for your whole family.

No one's sat here telling you what or what not to do...but since you've opened up this issue for debate, you have welcomed speculation. Not everyone will see things as you...some are more cautious (such as myself) I also don't seem to think that what I said was troll like at all...it was offered under the best of intentions just as something to consider....but then again, it's sometimes fashionable to shoot the messenger to disregard the message.

I appreciate this response....yes, I'm currently a server now, but I'm also switching to my real career as a massage therapist, which i plan to have a private clientelle at my home...where I can raise a new baby. Although I have a co sponsor, i did NOT need a co-sponsor. I just used my mom in a "just in case" situation. I also have decent health insurance.... though I've considered all the "cautions" you all have shared with me, I know what choice is best in my heart-and for my husband and I. Also, my religious background changes everything so much...which I will not explain here, nor mention, but I have total faith in the Lord that by obeying the commandement to "multiply and replenish the earth" He WILL provide a way.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I appreciate this response....yes, I'm currently a server now, but I'm also switching to my real career as a massage therapist, which i plan to have a private clientelle at my home...where I can raise a new baby. Although I have a co sponsor, i did NOT need a co-sponsor. I just used my mom in a "just in case" situation. I also have decent health insurance.... though I've considered all the "cautions" you all have shared with me, I know what choice is best in my heart-and for my husband and I. Also, my religious background changes everything so much...which I will not explain here, nor mention, but I have total faith in the Lord that by obeying the commandement to "multiply and replenish the earth" He WILL provide a way.

I'm with you on that one, Andrea. I think it's peculiar that people will openly judge someone for having a child if the parent can't afford all the luxuries for that child, meanwhile people who go buy $60g car are looked at as being successful. My mother had my 4 older brothers, all in the course of about 6 years. She went on to have me and then my younger brother - a total of six. My best friend and next door neighbor had only his sister and with both of his parents working, they had more things than we ever did but the one thing he didn't have was a bunch of siblings. Big families are great, however, nowadays it's extremely difficult to pull it off - not so much financially, but because each child demands so much of your undivided attention. In today's society, success is measured not by family size, but by material wealth, so a big family is looked down upon as being financially reckless. My fiancee has 3 older sisters and one younger brother and they all slept in one room of a little shack. They all went on to college - the 3 older sisters are all RN's, her younger brother went to school for engineering and she's got a doctorate in dentistry. Did she suffer more because her parents had less? I think whatever she did without was made-up by the fact that she was close to her siblings and they had each other for support. Follow your heart.

Edited October 7, 2006 by Steven_and_Jinky

[MrMrsKnight 0]

I'm with you on that one, Andrea. I think it's peculiar that people will openly judge someone for having a child if the parent can't afford all the luxuries for that child, meanwhile people who go buy $60g car are looked at as being successful. My mother had my 4 older brothers, all in the course of about 6 years. She went on to have me and then my younger brother - a total of six. My best friend and next door neighbor had only his sister and with both of his parents working, they had more things than we ever did but the one thing he didn't have was a bunch of siblings. Big families are great, however, nowadays it's extremely difficult to pull it off - not so much financially, but because each child demands so much of your undivided attention. In today's society, success is measured not by family size, but by material wealth, so a big family is looked down upon as being financially reckless. My fiancee has 3 older sisters and one younger brother and they all slept in one room of a little shack. They all went on to college - the 3 older sisters are all RN's, her younger brother went to school for engineering and she's got a doctorate in dentistry. Did she suffer more because her parents had less? I think whatever she did without was made-up by the fact that she was close to her siblings and they had each other for support. Follow your heart.

Just yesterday I went to a family wedding and thought to myself that I'm so blessed for having all those people around me. There were so many difficult times and we managed to survive by staying together and listening to our hearts.... we knew we'd be there for each other no matter what. We always found a way... and it always turned out better than we expected!

I think that what everyone said here is valid. There's the "follow your heart" group and the "think a lot about it before" group, but we're all just trying to help. At the end, you're the one making the big decision... but reading what other people have to say and considering their opinions won't cost a thing.

I wish you a lot of happiness and luck on whatever you decide to do.

Edited October 7, 2006 by MrMrsKnight

[CarolineM 0]

ahh yes - the trolls that have been around for over a year...those are the worst kinds.

You put your personal live on display - you're gonna get comments...

that's just life