Interview to remove temp status

[Peace be still 6]

He has an interview coming up, and I'm confused about whether I should go or not. I know this man is not the same man that I feel in love with over the internet, and I truly feel as if I was con by a professional conartist. I don't desire no evil towards him because there are some many oppurtunities here in America. But to sign for the 10yr visa, I can't do it at all. I can count the words on my one hand how many conversation we had since he been here since he got here the last 2yrs. I'm completely embarrashed that I even got myself into this type of situation and I feel for any other women or men that find themselves in this type of situation. My heart is gentle and I don't want him to be deported so I wonder if they can give him a lie detector test?

[Darnell 8,478]

Why to post in the K-3 forum ??

If your husband holds a K-3 visa, and you are going through the AOS process,

then of course you can withdraw the I-864 prior to interview day.

Otherwise - why to post in the K-3 forum ?

Going forward, if you have found cause for immigration fraud with 'this man', you should report him to ICE, nowish.

Edited January 30, 2012 by Darnell

[together4evr 360]

I do not know your entire story. When you have spoken to your husband has he said he loves you or has he said he only used you? I seen you first applied for K1 and it was sent back and then your cr1 was done and approved within 4 months of petition.

In November you wrote that you loved him. What do you love? If someone has not spoken to you in 2 years what makes you love him? Does he have another woman, wife? Is he home all the time? Does he work and support you? Are you still with him because of religious beliefs or you want him to love you?

If my husband did not show me love or affection or speak to me for 2 years I would never sign for him. I would NEVER lie to the government and say this is a true marriage just so he gets rewarded with a 10 yr card and then he will immediatey leave me. Lying to our government is a crime punishable by money and jail time. hmmmm I am not going to prison for someone who has no care for me or us.

I would cancel the interview at this point and make him start talking.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

He has an interview coming up, and I'm confused about whether I should go or not. I know this man is not the same man that I feel in love with over the internet, and I truly feel as if I was con by a professional conartist. I don't desire no evil towards him because there are some many oppurtunities here in America. But to sign for the 10yr visa, I can't do it at all. I can count the words on my one hand how many conversation we had since he been here since he got here the last 2yrs. I'm completely embarrashed that I even got myself into this type of situation and I feel for any other women or men that find themselves in this type of situation. My heart is gentle and I don't want him to be deported so I wonder if they can give him a lie detector test?

Your can stay gentle and kind....but if you know the truth and you still allow the interview to proceed with what you just posted...you are not just doing yourself good also u are defrauding the government with him.

I am sorry your relationship is not what it was from when you "fell in love through the internet", filed and refiled...I really wish you the best with working on your relationship.

Make the right decision! If he mislead you he mislead the consulate and in turn all of us have to pay harder through CASA.

Please dont take this as me personally saying it is you or your husbands fault...but see that you would be doing the correct thing for you, and many other people...and most of all it is always in GOD's hands.

GOD knows what is in your heart and how you approach your decisions....gentle or not...you know what is the right thing to do.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Moved from "K-3 Spouse Visa Process & Procedures" as the OP's spouse entered on a CR-1 and has an interview for ROC scheduled.

[potter1 1]

If you knowingly married knowing it was only business, then both of you can be in some serious hot water. If he used you for GC purpose, then he is in hot water. If you lie and tell your interviewer that all is well, then you are in hot water, if they find out your marriage was business. Having said that, let me say a little about my marriage...A few months after arriving here, I got my first real job. Because I opened a separate bank account, my USC wife and her family began telling others that I only got married to get green card. When I do anything that is not sanctioned by my USC Wife, they keep bringing up that line of talk. If I don't obey and comply to what my USC wife instructs, it makes me a bad husband, who only wanted a GC (her exact words). I can see my case is nothing like yours, as I lived all my marriage with my wife. All I will say is, if you lie to the USCIS, and they find out, which they will, as they are trained to detect certain stiuations, what will happen to you? Be honest with the USCIS.

[Miss smarty pants 84]

He has an interview coming up, and I'm confused about whether I should go or not. I know this man is not the same man that I feel in love with over the internet, and I truly feel as if I was con by a professional conartist. I don't desire no evil towards him because there are some many oppurtunities here in America. But to sign for the 10yr visa, I can't do it at all. I can count the words on my one hand how many conversation we had since he been here since he got here the last 2yrs. I'm completely embarrashed that I even got myself into this type of situation and I feel for any other women or men that find themselves in this type of situation. My heart is gentle and I don't want him to be deported so I wonder if they can give him a lie detector test?

Does he live with you? And if so, how can you have only talked a few times in two years? Sounds fishy to me. Uscis doesnt do lie detector tests that I know of. They base decisions on the totality of the relationship. It doesnt sound like you really have one, based just on what you said.

[Peace be still 6]

If you knowingly married knowing it was only business, then both of you can be in some serious hot water. If he used you for GC purpose, then he is in hot water. If you lie and tell your interviewer that all is well, then you are in hot water, if they find out your marriage was business. Having said that, let me say a little about my marriage...A few months after arriving here, I got my first real job. Because I opened a separate bank account, my USC wife and her family began telling others that I only got married to get green card. When I do anything that is not sanctioned by my USC Wife, they keep bringing up that line of talk. If I don't obey and comply to what my USC wife instructs, it makes me a bad husband, who only wanted a GC (her exact words). I can see my case is nothing like yours, as I lived all my marriage with my wife. All I will say is, if you lie to the USCIS, and they find out, which they will, as they are trained to detect certain stiuations, what will happen to you? Be honest with the USCIS.

Please read what I wrote before making a responce. I married out of pure love. My husband doesn't come from money, and I'm not 400lbs and old. I stated he is not the man I thought he was when I went to Morocco and visited him 5x's. If i was going to commit fraud it darn sure would not have been with someone that was poor!!!!!!! No offence i wouldn't go to jail for my own mother. Why in the heck would I go to jail for a man. Who mention anything about my marriage being business? If it was and darn sure wouldn't be posting it here dahhhhhhhhh

[Peace be still 6]

Does he live with you? And if so, how can you have only talked a few times in two years? Sounds fishy to me. Uscis doesnt do lie detector tests that I know of. They base decisions on the totality of the relationship. It doesnt sound like you really have one, based just on what you said.

We used to talk everyday when he was in Morocco, and now he works three jobs and goes to school. But when he is home there is really no conversation at all. It's small. Yes we lived together the entire time, and he swears his undying love for me, but it's not the fairy tale I wanted for myself. I'm not happy. I just wish they could give him a lie detector test so badly.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

A lie detector test to prove what? If you'll are still living together as man and wife, then that's all he needs to ROC. Now, you could have divorced then he would have to prove he entered the marriage in good faith. But since you'll are still living as man and wife, he doesn't have to prove much, much less that he is in love with his wife. It sucks, but that is the way of the land.

Edited February 1, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Peace be still 6]

Your can stay gentle and kind....but if you know the truth and you still allow the interview to proceed with what you just posted...you are not just doing yourself good also u are defrauding the government with him.

I am sorry your relationship is not what it was from when you "fell in love through the internet", filed and refiled...I really wish you the best with working on your relationship.

Make the right decision! If he mislead you he mislead the consulate and in turn all of us have to pay harder through CASA.

Please dont take this as me personally saying it is you or your husbands fault...but see that you would be doing the correct thing for you, and many other people...and most of all it is always in GOD's hands.

GOD knows what is in your heart and how you approach your decisions....gentle or not...you know what is the right thing to do.

I have no intention on lying at all. Trust me I've been too bless, and GOD only knows his faith is in GOD's hands. I told him that I wasn't going to lie about nothing and the importants of telling the truth. You are so right about how hard it is for CASA it was hard for me and him, and I fought like the pure dickings to get him here. Alot of energy and time plus money but I don't feel you can put a price tag on love. I know where my heart was the entire time and I thought I knew where his was as well. We live together and GOD knows he doesn't go out, he doesn't send money home without talking to me. He does his best. But at times he can be so cold and distance. I recommended him to see someone about his OCD which causes him anxiety and it causes us a great deal of problems. He acted this way with his family in Morocco, infact his own brother doesn't really bother with him, and I often wondered why. He can be up one minute and down the next. He probly has Bipolor. I'm not going to lie and act like he didn't do good towards me at all because he has. My problem is when I'm angry I will post something or even do something impulsively, so trust me I got my own flows. This is where all my confusion comes in at I guess because we are both not perfect at all. My mother loves him to peaces and so does my family, but I was like you don't live with this moody ocd person I do. For example, he can't sit down and have a family dinner at my mother's house until he starts cleaning stuff OMG it drives me completely insane.... I can't tell you how many times I flipped out. My mother's home is very clean. He thinks about things to clean all the time, and then he can be laying in the bed then get up and start cleaning. It's crazy. The other day he just got done working all three of his jobs, he came home took his shower said his prayer and started cleaning fiddling with stuff on the dresser. My home is clean it's insane. Before he came I had a maid he made me fire her. I wish to ALLAH I didn't. I'm begging him to let me bring her back but of course he thinks about the money that could be put to good use so I do understand, but his ways drive me crazy and I guess cause I don't understand him i'm driving him insane as well. Sounds like we need marriage counseling and he needs medication for his AxisI Diagnosis. ugggggg

[Peace be still 6]

I do not know your entire story. When you have spoken to your husband has he said he loves you or has he said he only used you? I seen you first applied for K1 and it was sent back and then your cr1 was done and approved within 4 months of petition.

In November you wrote that you loved him. What do you love? If someone has not spoken to you in 2 years what makes you love him? Does he have another woman, wife? Is he home all the time? Does he work and support you? Are you still with him because of religious beliefs or you want him to love you?

If my husband did not show me love or affection or speak to me for 2 years I would never sign for him. I would NEVER lie to the government and say this is a true marriage just so he gets rewarded with a 10 yr card and then he will immediatey leave me. Lying to our government is a crime punishable by money and jail time. hmmmm I am not going to prison for someone who has no care for me or us.

I would cancel the interview at this point and make him start talking.

Thank you for ready what I wrote. So you see the yoyo of the relationship that i've been going through. I just don't think it's normal at all. I refuse to lie to any government official ohhhh nooooo. I told him i'm telling the truth about our relationship and our flosses. Heck they are the professionals so then they can make the decision. Yes I love him, but I'm not a fool in love. I'm going to put everything on the table and let GOD be the Judge and the Jury on this matter. I talked to him, and he tells me because he works alot plus i enrolled him into college. We have very little time together which isn't good at all. I don't know if it's normal to go on vacation and argue? I made sure he was independent from the gate when he got here. I got him all the decent jobs he has, plus made sure he got his driver licence immediately and purchased him a truck before up grading to a newer model sports car that I might add he financed it himself with no co-signer. I always wanted him to feel independent and not dependent on me. At times I feel he is very ungrateful. I'm not asking him to kiss my tail, but the humble man I once knew is a long distance memory for me.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

I have no intention on lying at all. Trust me I've been too bless, and GOD only knows his faith is in GOD's hands. I told him that I wasn't going to lie about nothing and the importants of telling the truth. You are so right about how hard it is for CASA it was hard for me and him, and I fought like the pure dickings to get him here. Alot of energy and time plus money but I don't feel you can put a price tag on love. I know where my heart was the entire time and I thought I knew where his was as well. We live together and GOD knows he doesn't go out, he doesn't send money home without talking to me. He does his best. But at times he can be so cold and distance. I recommended him to see someone about his OCD which causes him anxiety and it causes us a great deal of problems. He acted this way with his family in Morocco, infact his own brother doesn't really bother with him, and I often wondered why. He can be up one minute and down the next. He probly has Bipolor. I'm not going to lie and act like he didn't do good towards me at all because he has. My problem is when I'm angry I will post something or even do something impulsively, so trust me I got my own flows. This is where all my confusion comes in at I guess because we are both not perfect at all. My mother loves him to peaces and so does my family, but I was like you don't live with this moody ocd person I do. For example, he can't sit down and have a family dinner at my mother's house until he starts cleaning stuff OMG it drives me completely insane.... I can't tell you how many times I flipped out. My mother's home is very clean. He thinks about things to clean all the time, and then he can be laying in the bed then get up and start cleaning. It's crazy. The other day he just got done working all three of his jobs, he came home took his shower said his prayer and started cleaning fiddling with stuff on the dresser. My home is clean it's insane. Before he came I had a maid he made me fire her. I wish to ALLAH I didn't. I'm begging him to let me bring her back but of course he thinks about the money that could be put to good use so I do understand, but his ways drive me crazy and I guess cause I don't understand him i'm driving him insane as well. Sounds like we need marriage counseling and he needs medication for his AxisI Diagnosis. ugggggg

Wasitrealorfake,

You opened up way more than before on your posts and I can see it might not be a Visa issue....if one looks at at what you wrote me...it is a chance we take when meeting and falling in love with a distance relationship...How could you have seen signs of what he suffers from?

How can anyone really know a person until they live together?

It is marriage and growth and learning. You have good intentions, so I really hope he can see you both would benefit from counseling.

He has 3 jobs? Bravo Hard working man. He has good qualities just in that to start with...

If you both feel the love is worth it to fight for, then try.

But I doubt it will help with more posts on VJ.

Do you have to go to this interview? (That was the context of your original post right? About the lie detector test..)

If yes then go....but it does not look like he defrauded you or the government..he as issues and in turn you both have issues.

Marital issues, relationship issues and decisions to make. Everyone has them. You have made your first step by identifying them...now find some help and make it work.

If in the future you have exhausted all possibilities and it just does not work out...dont stay in a unhappy marriage. Little word of personal advice. You cant fix another person and you never get your years back.

I hope you have peace soon and find your way.

[Peace be still 6]

Wasitrealorfake,

You opened up way more than before on your posts and I can see it might not be a Visa issue....if one looks at at what you wrote me...it is a chance we take when meeting and falling in love with a distance relationship...How could you have seen signs of what he suffers from?

How can anyone really know a person until they live together?

It is marriage and growth and learning. You have good intentions, so I really hope he can see you both would benefit from counseling.

He has 3 jobs? Bravo Hard working man. He has good qualities just in that to start with...

If you both feel the love is worth it to fight for, then try.

But I doubt it will help with more posts on VJ.

Do you have to go to this interview? (That was the context of your original post right? About the lie detector test..)

If yes then go....but it does not look like he defrauded you or the government..he as issues and in turn you both have issues.

Marital issues, relationship issues and decisions to make. Everyone has them. You have made your first step by identifying them...now find some help and make it work.

If in the future you have exhausted all possibilities and it just does not work out...dont stay in a unhappy marriage. Little word of personal advice. You cant fix another person and you never get your years back.

I hope you have peace soon and find your way.

You have a major point. Yes he is a hard working man and yes he does his best to take care of home. You don't know someone until you live with them. Trust me I've been so used to living by myself and doing things my own way, and then all of a sudden I have a husband that I have to share my space with, and all the above. It takes alot of adjusting for an independent woman like myself. Truth be told it would crush me if things didn't go right. uggggg. we just have to work on our communication alot more. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

[potter1 1]

OK, I get it. The marriage is for real. It is the people in the marriage. Based on what you just explained, he is not commiting fraud, he never did. He is just a different person than what you wanted, or expected. I guess my wife sees me similar to how you see him. In the begining of our marriage, I used to make jokes with her all the time, and she always sees it as me being sarcastic with her. It came to a point where our communication became business-like - we would just discuss things about the house, or bills, ot things to do. She keeps blaming me for not being communicative. True, during the time when our documents were being processed, we communicated a lot through emails, and phone, etc. But there is a difference in knowing someone before and after marriage. How can I communicate with someone who is cold? At work, everyone, I mean everyone knows me to be a jovial person, even in stressful times. So how did I become so 'silent' in my marriage? I adapted to prevent mis-understandings that may arise from a joke that will always be taken in the way my wife sees it, instead of the way a joke is supposed to be seen. I don't think you have to prove or tell the immigration anything except that he is the silent type. He has done nothing to prove that he entered the marriage to commit fraud. He is just not the chit-chat person you wanted in a husband.