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Looking to be with my boyfriend but not ready for marriage...

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Filed: Timeline

Hey,

My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. He's an American citizen and I am Canadian and I plan to move to the US once I'm done school. I'm reading through all of this information, some of it is making more sense than others, but there seems to be no clear path for me to take. I don't want to commit to marriage without first living together and going through all of the natural steps other couples go through but the TN Visa has a very specific restriction about not intending to stay in the US, though realistically of course I'm not exactly sure what I intend at this point. I graduate from my program in April but I figure with the time this could take, I should get started now.

Any advice you could offer would be great. I think I'm gonna go cross-eyed from all the reading I've been doing before the weekend ends...

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The longest you can stay in the US as a visitor without a visa is 6 months. There is no Visa provision to just live common-law. Also, if you don't show that you are planning to go home and show proof of ties to Canada they can deny you crossing the border.

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Filed: Other Country: Canada
Timeline

Hey,

My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. He's an American citizen and I am Canadian and I plan to move to the US once I'm done school. I'm reading through all of this information, some of it is making more sense than others, but there seems to be no clear path for me to take. I don't want to commit to marriage without first living together and going through all of the natural steps other couples go through but the TN Visa has a very specific restriction about not intending to stay in the US, though realistically of course I'm not exactly sure what I intend at this point. I graduate from my program in April but I figure with the time this could take, I should get started now.

Any advice you could offer would be great. I think I'm gonna go cross-eyed from all the reading I've been doing before the weekend ends...

Absolutely no way that you will be allowed to live together first if you intend on living in the US. We were going to do that, but I was turned back at the border (there was a bunch of stuff in the car that indicated that I might be staying awhile). As a Canadian, I was not eligible for a visitor's visa (2005 rules---may have changed since) and so not eligible to have said visitor's visa extended for 6 months either.

In a way, it is probably a good thing that you are not in the same country as each other. If you are not ready to commit to a marriage, you are probably not ready to commit to living together---since that constitutes Common Law Marriage in Canada anyway. That's just my old-fogey opinion having been on both sides of that coin.

The guy who was my boyfriend (and to whom I am now married) suggested that after I graduated that I see what my degree could offer in the way of work before even thinking about giving that up to live in a tiny city in the US. And that is what I did. Then, we decided that we were suited to marry anyway.

I dunno. I think you should see what Canada has to offer you first . . . and then there may be room for another---as in, *he* moves to Canada instead. Just a thought. We wanted to do that, but Del's circumstances changed drastically in 2003 and it became impossible.

Previous lists moved to "Story" section

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Filed: Timeline

Marriage is a serious possibility for the future but I don't know if I could EVER marry someone without first living with them. That is just my personal preference and I doubt it's of much importance, but I just think there is value in knowing a person right down to their little annoying habits before making a commitment. I understand that there may be no nice way around this and I may be needing to commit to getting my own place and such, but I've been to the area and he has been here and at the end of the day we have debated the relative benefits and drawbacks to a move in each direction. There was even a time when I had very little interest in moving to the US at all, but with time and experience, I have been swayed. The decision is all but made, I just need a coherent plan to help me understand how I can go about this without accidentally breaking any rules since there seems to be a lot of them.

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This process is not for the faint of heart. It takes serious commitment on both parts because the separation from each other on top of the very details involved make me think that it might not be the best time. Start the relationship slowly. Maybe go visit for a couple of weeks there and then he can come to visit you. I have seen more than one relationship end during this process. It is very difficult. I'm sure looking forward to the day when we can actually be together without the sad goodbyes at the airports.

Good luck

Terri

Fiance visa

04/28/2011 - I-129F - DENIED

02/18/2012 - I-129F petition filed
02/24/2012 - NOA1
09/04/2012 - NOA2, 193 days

Interview:10/22/2012
POE: 10/26/2012 (245 days)

Removal of Conditions

Filed for ROC - 06/09/2015

NOA1 for ROC - 06/12/2015

Biometrics appointment - 07/17/2015

Approval for ROC - 04/20/2016 (316 days)

Naturalization Process

N-400 Filed 06/10/2016

N-400 NOA1 06/14/2016

N-400 biometrics 06/20/16

N-400 interview 01/23/2017

N-400 Oath ceremony 02/10/2017

Immigration Process took 2116 days.

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Do you think that it would be frowned upon to find a job, apply for a temporary work visa, and use that time to test the waters and decide more what I want? Hanging out in the US with no job for six months just wouldn't be for me.

I have no idea what is required for a TN visa and such. Hopefully someone with more knowledge will come along and be able to help you more.

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Filed: Timeline

Maybe go visit for a couple of weeks there and then he can come to visit you.

I've been there, and he's been here a few times. We've definitely got this part covered. In fact, I'll be spending nearly a month a Christmas (and thus won't start this process until January, so as to avoid unnecessary complications).

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline

I guess it comes down to whether your skills are sufficiently attractive to a US Employer to go through the time and cost in this market.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

Right now, with the unemployment issue in the US, it is VERY difficult to get a TN visa unless you have some very specific skills. And unfortunately there is no sort of 'get to know you visa". You can try to go down and visit and use the 6 months of time alloted for Canadians to have physical presence in the US, but it is very unlikely that you will be admitted for that time period without strong ties back to Canada (a lease agreement, letter from employer stating return to work or documents showing return to school and definitely a return ticket). You can try to get in for the 6 months, but be fully prepared to be either turned back or only allowed in for a shorter time period. It is totally up to the individual CBP officer as to whether you get admitted or not. Ensure that you are clear that you are only visiting, not trying to live together (as this alludes to immigration intent) only give information they request when they ask you questions and do not, for any reason, lie.

There are 2 types of 'relationship' visa's that you can apply for. The first is a fiance(e) visa (K-1). This takes around 9 months to process and allows you to enter into the US, get married, and then you have to apply for AOS to get your green card. You have 90 days once you enter the US on your visa to get married. It is a relatively short period, but it would give you some time to live together and get to know each others annoying little habits..lol

The spousal visa (CR-1) requires that you are married, then you apply. It takes about a year to process, but you get your green card (and thus work authorization) when you enter the US. It takes a bit longer initially, but ends up being faster (as AOS with the K-1 visa can take another 3-6 months) and it ends up being cheaper.

Good Luck

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Venezuela
Timeline

My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half. He's an American citizen and I am Canadian and I plan to move to the US once I'm done school. I'm reading through all of this information, some of it is making more sense than others, but there seems to be no clear path for me to take. I don't want to commit to marriage without first living together and going through all of the natural steps other couples go through but the TN Visa has a very specific restriction about not intending to stay in the US, though realistically of course I'm not exactly sure what I intend at this point. I graduate from my program in April but I figure with the time this could take, I should get started now.

Any advice you could offer would be great. I think I'm gonna go cross-eyed from all the reading I've been doing before the weekend ends...

is living in SIN a natural step.. lol..

i have friend that has been "living together" for like 7 years.. i don't understand why they jus dont tie the knot.. i guess its true.. why buy the cow, when the milk is free..

K101/17/2012.....I-129F ..... sent to Dallas, Texas

01/25/2012.....NOA1 (text & email) ..... sent to Vermont Service Center

01/28/2012.....NOA1 Hard Copy in Mail

07/31/2012.....NOA2.. 188 days update@USCIS

08/03/2012.....NOA2.. Hard Copy

09/04/2012.....Sent Email to Caracas Embassy for Interview date.. they had not contacted her

09/05/2012.....Embassy response.. with interview date!!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy... APPROVED!!

12/31/2012.....POE.. Miami, arrived to AUSTIN next day smile.png

02/16/2013.....Married!!

AOS - K1

05/06/2013.....I-465 & I-765 sent USPS priority mail

05/14/2013......Email, Text of Receiving package on 5/11

05/16/2013......Hard Copy of NOA1 received: I-465 and _I-765 Application for employment

05/20/2013...... Bio-metric hard-copy.
05/29/2013...... Biometric scheduled. . Austin office

07/15/2013...... EAD card arrived in mail today smile.png

10/20/2013...... Green Card approved! NOA hardcopy received!

10/31/2013...... Green Card Delivered!!

ROC-I-751
07/21/15 90 day Window Opens

07/24/15 I-751 Mailed to Cali. Service Center
09/03/15 Biometeric scheduled and completed

01/26/16 ROC Letter arrived
01/30/16 10 yr Green Card arrived

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

Yeah you could get a TN visa, but good luck on trying to get a US employer to hire you without considering hiring someone in the states, which would be a lot easier for the employer to do instead.

If you're graduating from Medical school as a Doctor, that would be kind of possible of you getting a job there. I think there's a list somewhere on the USCIS website of the top careers that are in demand for TN visa's. All I'm saying is that, it's a gamble. And if you want to gamble with your relationship then prepare for the consequences, should there be any.

You should really consider if this relationship you have is really worth all the effort you will have to go through. You should not be moving to a different country for someone that you're uncertain of being with, in the long run. I know it's hard to determine whether you would clash if you lived together, but from my experiences, the long visits that my fiance and I have done have given me a small picture of what expect. Such as, I know I'm going to have to pick up after him sometimes because he's a bit of a slob, he also can't cook and does horrible job at cleaning dishes (lol). And that's what it really comes down to, those small things that could really annoy someone to the point of it causing serious problems in the relationship.

I've been on and off with my fiance and have already determined what kind of person he is. I've visited a lot and interacted with his family (And vice versa) . So I have no doubt what kind of person he is. Maybe that's what you lack? More time getting to know him and his family. I've actually lived with another ex boyfriend for a while thinking that would be the best thing to do before we got married and determined it wasn't the best idea. Ended up totally regretting it because I spent a lot of money and effort trying to move in with him (he lived far). And because I didn't truly know who he was and how CRAZY his family is, I live with that one regret. They were truly the most abusive family I've ever met.

:ot2:

Anyway, what I'm saying, maybe you guys need more time to visit each other, go on long trips together and feel each other out. It took my fiance and I breaking up for a while for us realize that we don't to be with anyone else but each other. It's hard but if you get through it, you know in the future you'll get through anything together.

Having said all this, there is also another option. If there is a University or College near where your boyfriend lives, you could consider getting a Student Visa. However, be prepared to have at least 12 grand in the bank to show US immigration that you have enough money to support yourself and pay tuition. If you get a sponsor, they have to make enough money and prove it, which would mean you would only need to show around 10 grand to immigration. You could also get a scholarship too, that takes some effort of course. Also, you could only work on campus.

But I strongly suggest you consider just taking more time to get to know each other through visits.

Best of luck.

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Venezuela
Timeline
But I strongly suggest you consider just taking more time to get to know each other through visits.

Best of luck.

for sure

K101/17/2012.....I-129F ..... sent to Dallas, Texas

01/25/2012.....NOA1 (text & email) ..... sent to Vermont Service Center

01/28/2012.....NOA1 Hard Copy in Mail

07/31/2012.....NOA2.. 188 days update@USCIS

08/03/2012.....NOA2.. Hard Copy

09/04/2012.....Sent Email to Caracas Embassy for Interview date.. they had not contacted her

09/05/2012.....Embassy response.. with interview date!!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy!

10/17/2012.....INTERVIEW @Caracas Embassy... APPROVED!!

12/31/2012.....POE.. Miami, arrived to AUSTIN next day smile.png

02/16/2013.....Married!!

AOS - K1

05/06/2013.....I-465 & I-765 sent USPS priority mail

05/14/2013......Email, Text of Receiving package on 5/11

05/16/2013......Hard Copy of NOA1 received: I-465 and _I-765 Application for employment

05/20/2013...... Bio-metric hard-copy.
05/29/2013...... Biometric scheduled. . Austin office

07/15/2013...... EAD card arrived in mail today smile.png

10/20/2013...... Green Card approved! NOA hardcopy received!

10/31/2013...... Green Card Delivered!!

ROC-I-751
07/21/15 90 day Window Opens

07/24/15 I-751 Mailed to Cali. Service Center
09/03/15 Biometeric scheduled and completed

01/26/16 ROC Letter arrived
01/30/16 10 yr Green Card arrived

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

First off, do you qualify for a TN Visa? Do you have the proper skills and education required? Do you have any work experience that correlates? You'll have a very difficult time getting a TN Visa unless you have a mix of skills, experience and education AND can find a job in your field willing to hire you on the TN Visa. My husband is an HR person at a hospital and they don't even sponsor Doctors and Nurses anymore, a skill set that's always been in demand. The economy is very different from Canada. But, if you qualify and have a job waiting for you, then by all means, can't hurt to attempt crossing and getting a TN visa.

That being said, I feel you I really do. I was in the same position and wanted to live with my then boyfriend before we made the commitment of marriage and unfortunately it's very very difficult, if not pretty much impossible in the US. If visiting for months at a time and not working is not an option (wasn't an option for me either) and him moving to Canada is no an option, then I would suggest you plan to stay in Canada, get a job and some work experience when you graduate and then date long distance for a little while longer. It sucks to be apart but there are a lot of pros to this situation. You can save money, get some work experience before jumping right into the US economy, and you can still get to know each other better.

I dated my husband long distance for SIX years before I moved to the US on a K1 visa. We started dating when we were in undergrad, and of course I wanted to move to the US right after I graduated and be with him. BUT, I followed my head and not my heart... I went to grad school for another year AND then got a good job in Toronto and worked there for two years.

When I finally moved, waiting was definitely the best decision I ever made. I had an easy time finding a job because I had experience and wasn't entry-level anymore. And, my then boyfriend and I were much more financially stable.

Good luck with whatever you decide but know that your options are pretty much limited to marriage in order to immigrate to the US.

Removing Conditions

Sent package to VSC - 8/12/11

NOA1 - 8/16/11

Biometrics - 9/14/11

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