We don't fight..... we hardly speak to each other any more.

[tc2010 0]

Well, its been a rather uneventful summer.....

Discovered from analyzing her internet traffic packets that she had been planning this all from the start. Since April I managed to capture every webpage she visited since, every email she sent or received, every chat session (video, audio and text), basically every move she made online. All without aid of intrusive software on her computers. Guess it pays to have an "online video game addict/network security specialist" in the family.

Even captured her internet traffic after she bought a new computer and wouldn't let it out of her sight. Have also accumulated several disk images of her hard drives during the summer as well. Even managed to save the webpages from one of her forums before catching her deleting the old postings there, its humorous, she confirmed her ownership of the accounts by doing so. I now have a lot more data and evidence for ICE to go through and I'm sure they have the forensics software to decrypt the files I haven't gotten to yet. Got everything backed up and duplicate copies stored in a safe location outside the home, just in case.

She is staying in a local motel, before heading to the airport and on to North Carolina on Sunday to be closer to Marina, her "friend from Vladivostok". Found her airline reservations and email communications with her ex in the last group of TCP packets. She tried to invoke a small quarrel with me over the income taxes the night before she left, several minutes after making the airline reservations. I had filed "married filing separately" leaving her no rights to the refund check or even copies of the signed 1040.

She has made a substantial amount of money doing translations in the last 3 months, which I' sure the IRS will be interested in as well.

The divorce should be final on the 20th of September. All in all... I think things are looking up.

Edited September 3, 2011 by tc2010

[rlogan 2,036]

my intuition and "gut feeling" has been right on the mark and 100% accurate.

This is what the relationship counselors say: trust your gut instincts.

She tried to invoke a small quarrel with me over the income taxes the night before she left, several minutes after making the airline reservations.

It's hard to believe people can be this savage, isn't it? It's actually very easy to do. You just have to lack a conscience.

[TBoneTX 43,057]

I think things are looking up.

Agreed, and thanks for the update, si man!

[tc2010 0]

It is what it is....

Like my old football coach used to say.....

"No matter how you dress her and no matter how much make-up and perfume you put on a pig.... shes still a PIG!"

No matter what spin, angle or vantage point, I put on the experience in trying to understand this situation.... it still looks like I got scammed.

I'm still tallying the losses in time, finances, and heartaches... trusting anyone else again is going to be very very difficult!

I should have gotten the "Wide Glide" instead of marrying a foreigner... it would have been a much smoother ride!

[james&olya 1,121]

I should have gotten the "Wide Glide" instead of marrying a foreigner... it would have been a much smoother ride!

'wide glide'! I know exactly what you mean!!

Don't give up! There are some wonderful, loving, and attractive women from other cultures that are honest and sincere.

[tc2010 0]

Heheheh.... actually I was talking about a new Harley-Davidson Dyna Wide Glide. They're running $17,00.00 out the door with a 2 tone paint job and "b**** pad" on the rear fender...

I'd forgotten about the other meaning, implication and/or reference from days long past.

Edited September 6, 2011 by tc2010

[We Keep Receipts 9,238]

It is what it is....

Like my old football coach used to say.....

"No matter how you dress her and no matter how much make-up and perfume you put on a pig.... shes still a PIG!"

No matter what spin, angle or vantage point, I put on the experience in trying to understand this situation.... it still looks like I got scammed.

I'm still tallying the losses in time, finances, and heartaches... trusting anyone else again is going to be very very difficult!

I should have gotten the "Wide Glide" instead of marrying a foreigner... it would have been a much smoother ride!

There are bad people in all countries, doesn't matter where you are from. Sorry you got burned like that, just glad you got out of a potential bad situation. Take some time to heal and when the time is right, He will send someone for you....

[tc2010 0]

Nope! She is far from depressed, she's moved in with one of her "friends" from Facebook, somewhere around Greensboro, NC. Not sure what line she handed HIM or how long their online affair had been going on. Don't really care... she's gone.

Do know for sure she is not where she would like me to believe she is (esp. before the divorce is final)... and at this point in time I don't care where the "Greed Card" "Gold digger" is. She is now the problem of someone else who invited the misery, heartache and grief into his home. Hope he enjoys it!!! It won't last long and she will be back to her normal moody greedy self. If he's stupid enough to give her any access to his finances.... he'll be a pauper in less than a year... if he doesn't she'll go from zero to B####h in less than 2.3 sec. and decide that HE cannot be trusted... or some other B.S. she will invent at the time.

As far as the "Russian people being cold"... I know that to be completely FALSE! There may be a few, but that would be present in ALL cultures globally. In general, of the Russian People I have met, I find the majority are very warm hearted and kind.

[rlogan 2,036]

As far as the "Russian people being cold"... I know that to be completely FALSE! There may be a few, but that would be present in ALL cultures globally. In general, of the Russian People I have met, I find the majority are very warm hearted and kind.

We do have to be careful about generalizations. One thing that is true though - the brutality of life under communism hardened a lot of people, and in some areas it was really, really bad like Siberia and Ukraine during the famines. Some people I've met are very giving and in particulare the northern standard you see through Canada and Alaska extends over there. But there is also an indifference to killing and suffering I saw, and the repression of outward signs of happiness. In public, look down. Show a cold expression. Compare that to a place like Thailand. It is called the land of smiles because that's what they do. There are definite tendencies across cultures.

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

one stereotyping post removed.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My wife and I met online. After a whirlwind romance decided to get married. We jumped through all the legal USCIS hoops, got married in November, 2 months after she arrived here on a K-1. It hasn't been easy either of us to adjust our lifestyles.

About a two to three weeks before she arrived here our communications began to get strained. She would become cross or upset over minor things. I assumed it was just stress of relocating to a strange new world and the thoughts of being seperated from her family and friends. I thought she would adjust with time.

We have gotten into several disagreements in the past 8 to 9 months and end up not speaking for weeks on end. Marriage counseling isn't an option, she just says "it doesn't apply to us". It has gotten to the point if I want to communicate with her I have to send an email. Her last reply to my question regarding "marriage counseling was;

"This is actually really silly. We have nothing to 'restore' so 'marriage restoration' is not about us. Can we just be friends who have sex sometimes? Without this artificial strain trying to act like what we are not?"

She spends most of her time online, I assume, writing on the forums or in chat. When she isn't occupying her time online she is "going for a walk" with her daughter in tow. She would like to find a job, but we have no sitter who can speak the child's language.

I'm not a "touchy/feely" kind of person, but I do enjoy a hug or a kiss from time to time, just for no reason.

When laying in bed after waking up, if I put my arm around her and say "good morning", she takes my hand as if it were a dirty diaper, moves it off her and jumps out of bed with netbook computer in hand, retreating to another room in the house to go online. Needless to say I am much less than pleased with the way things are going. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to deduce she isn't happy. It seems the only time things appear to improve is if there is an appointment approaching with USCIS. Which there should be no more of for awhile, she has her "temporary green card" now.

I thought I was lonely before we met, but it was nothing compared to what I'm going through now. My own sense of honor would not permit me to break the marriage vows and have an affair or to seek comfort outside the relationship. I still have very strong feelings for her, I'm simply left with no real means of expressing them presently. It's been a little over 6 months since we married and all we can seem to do is to put each other through the hell of some sort of "artificial marriage".

My question(s) are:

If we were to divorce would she have to return to her home country?

There is nothing for her to return to, no home, no job, no school for her daughter..... nothing!

Since I have already signed the I-485, would I still be responsible for her and her daughter if we do divorce and she remains here and self-sponsors?

What options are available? I am still recovering financially from the expenses of moving my wife and her daughter over here and it looks like it will be at least another two years before I can even begin to put away savings for a divorce.

I'm reasonably sure she will see the post here, and that will cause some additional friction.

What scares me is the advice I've seen on other threads here on VJ, suggesting an immigrant spouse file charges of abuse. I'm not a violent person. I much prefer to "live and let live". The stress of this dysfunctional relationship is killing me.

Advice.... comments?

Bye.

Well, its been a rather uneventful summer.....

Discovered from analyzing her internet traffic packets that she had been planning this all from the start. Since April I managed to capture every webpage she visited since, every email she sent or received, every chat session (video, audio and text), basically every move she made online. All without aid of intrusive software on her computers. Guess it pays to have an "online video game addict/network security specialist" in the family.

Even captured her internet traffic after she bought a new computer and wouldn't let it out of her sight. Have also accumulated several disk images of her hard drives during the summer as well. Even managed to save the webpages from one of her forums before catching her deleting the old postings there, its humorous, she confirmed her ownership of the accounts by doing so. I now have a lot more data and evidence for ICE to go through and I'm sure they have the forensics software to decrypt the files I haven't gotten to yet. Got everything backed up and duplicate copies stored in a safe location outside the home, just in case.

She is staying in a local motel, before heading to the airport and on to North Carolina on Sunday to be closer to Marina, her "friend from Vladivostok". Found her airline reservations and email communications with her ex in the last group of TCP packets. She tried to invoke a small quarrel with me over the income taxes the night before she left, several minutes after making the airline reservations. I had filed "married filing separately" leaving her no rights to the refund check or even copies of the signed 1040.

She has made a substantial amount of money doing translations in the last 3 months, which I' sure the IRS will be interested in as well.

The divorce should be final on the 20th of September. All in all... I think things are looking up.

You'll get over it sooner or later. Better sooner

[Terry&Tigger 4]

incredible. Simply incredible. Rica, the only person with brain and not too much prejudice, thank you. Others, looking for drama, believing everything you are told, sorry. You've been fooled once again. Honey, you should check your radars, Greenboro?? wow. HIM??? very funny. G'night, people, enjoy the fruit of your imagination.